


Coming Home

by buffalo1221



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-05 11:30:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 73
Words: 139,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3118526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buffalo1221/pseuds/buffalo1221
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ali is a high powered attorney who recently had her heart broken and Ashlyn is a soldier. Can Ash help repair Ali's heart or will she cause it to break even more?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Night

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are welcomed :)

The sun was already setting as Ali swung open the door to her office at the Parker, Dunn & Krieger Firm, in preparation to leave for the weekend. She had stayed late again working on the Heatherstone Case and it was already an hour past when she was supposed to meet Whit at the bar. She rushed down the hall and into the elevator that one of the associates held open for her.  


After going down 20 floors, she exited and walked into the parking garage, her heels clicking as she walked up to her car. It beeped as the locks popped and she climbed into the midnight blue BMW. She put the top down as she pulled out the garage, and enjoyed the feeling as the wind whipped through her hair. It had been a long week and she was excited to kick back and relax with some friends from college.  


Whit had been her teammate, roommate and best friend throughout college and still lived a few streets down from Ali. They had gone through thick and thin, breakups and makeups and they knew they would always be in each other’s lives. A few more of their soccer teammates from Notre Dame were coming in for the long weekend as well, to celebrate Ali finally becoming a name partner at her firm.  


As she slowed her car down to a stop at the red light before her, Ali thought about how excited she was to see all of her old friends again. She definitely needed a fun weekend to try to get her mind off of her recent breakup with Lexi. While the breakup had been mutual, it still killed her that after three years together it ended. The long distance was just too much after Lexi got a job opportunity that she couldn’t pass up and moved out to Miami. They had tried to make it work but with the long hours that they were both putting in, there was barely time to talk, let alone visit each other.  


Ali turned into the driveway of the Blue Monkey and drove up to the valet station. The valet was a young kid in his late teens, and Ali hoped that he didn’t mess up her car. Still, she handed him the keys and if she wasn’t mistaken, she thought she saw his eyes light up as he got behind the wheel of her car. The car began to pull forward and Ali turned continued to make her way to the front door of the bar. Before she entered she pulled her hair back into a tall ponytail and made sure that her black Ann Taylor suit top wasn’t wrinkled. It had been a while since she had seen everyone and she wanted to look clean and polished so they wouldn’t think she let herself go after the breakup. Today was a day to celebrate becoming a name partner and she was going to do just that.  


Excitement filled her again as she thought back to last week when Matt Parker had called her into his office. Peter Dunn, the other name partner was in there too and at first she thought it was going to be bad news. The firm had been going through some slight financial trouble and a few associates had already been let go. Although she had been with the firm for six years and had more seniority than anyone that had been let go, she was still nervous that she was going to be laid off.  


Parker’s corner office was huge, and the 20th story windows overlooked a beautiful L.A. skyline. He sat behind his large oak desk which was cluttered by papers and manila folders, while Peter motioned for her to sit down in front of them. Nervously, she had pulled out the chair and sat down, crossing her legs so a little bit of leg showed. She saw Peter glance down and then quickly back up to meet her gaze.  


The two went on for about ten minutes discussing how the firm was progressing forward and their vision for it in the future. Finally, Parker got to the details, and told Ali that they appreciated by her loyalty and commitment to the firm and had been very impressed by the amount of cases that she had been winning. Peter Dunn was looking to retire in the next few years and they wanted to bring in someone that was truly dedicated to help keep the firm growing after he left. Matt stressed that he was going to need someone who knew the company and the employees and that could continue to win cases for them.  


At first Ali was shocked at what they were asking, until they talked about the financial commitment that she would need to make. They needed to know that she was 100% committed to the firm, and that means a significant financial contribution of $300,000. The number almost caused Ali to fall out of her seat, but they assured her that she would easily recoup it as a partner because they shared profits. They gave Ali the week to think about it, although she only needed a night before she informed them that she would gladly accept. They shook hands, filled out some paperwork and it was done. By the time she arrived to work the next day, the stationary and new sign had already been ordered and she was officially a name partner.  


She was brought back to the present time when she felt someone’s arms wrap around her from behind and a shriek in her ear. She turned around to see her friend Sydney from college and she excitedly returned her hug.  


“Ahhh!” exclaimed Ali as she squeezed Sydney tight. Suddenly she saw her other friends flock to her from across the bar. The piled on and held her in a tight group hug for a few minutes until she heard the familiar voice of Whit break them up, “All right ladies, it’s my turn”. The circle around Ali parted and she saw Whit standing there, a smile stretching across her face. “It’s about time that you got out of that apartment of yours and back into the real world,” she said as she extended her arms and embraced Ali in a big hug.  


“Oh it’s a pleasure to see you too,” joked Ali as she squeezed Whit back. “It’s been a long couple of weeks and I need a drink!”  
The girls giggled as they made their way back to the bar and ordered a round of shots. Megan and Kelley, who had been on the soccer team at Notre Dame as well, passed the shots around. “Here’s to Ali and her becoming a name partner at her firm!” said Megan as she raised her glass into the air. The others followed suit and Ali felt the burn as the Jack Daniel’s slid down her throat. She shuddered a little as she slammed her shot glass down on the bar motioning to the bar tender to get the ladies another round.  


“So how is life as a name partner?” questioned Kelley, passing the second round of shots around to the girls.  


“Well it’s only been about a week, but I have my name on the sign now” joked Ali. “It’s a really great opportunity though so I’m pretty excited to see where Parker and I can take the company after Dunn retires. He’s been stuck in his ways forever so it’ll be interesting to see if we can shake things up in Los Angeles.”  


“Wow,” said Whit, “That may be the first time in the last couple weeks that you've gone twenty minutes without mentioning Lexi. I’m proud of you.”  


The girls grew quiet as they waited to see Ali’s reaction, but all she did was smile. “You know I can’t be dwelling on that, especially when things are going so well for both of us. She chose to pursue her career and I’m happy that she is doing so well. Who knows, maybe one day she’ll be back and things will be okay again.”  


“Oh please! You need to get it out of your head that things are ever going to work between the two of you again. Just move on and be happy. She chose her career over you and you deserve someone that always puts you first.”  


“Agreed!” said Kelley as she clinked her glass, cheering with Whit. “We’ll find you another lady.”  
Right. If only it were that easy, thought Ali as she sipped on her Vodka Cranberry. It had only been a few months since she had seen Lexi last, but the aching pain inside her chest had subsided very little. Even though it was the best decision for them both, Ali still couldn't shake the feeling that she would never feel whole again. Nevertheless, she had a fun weekend planned with her friends and she was going to try her best not to let everything going on with Lexi ruin it.  


She was jerked from her thoughts by Megan nudging her in the side with her elbow. “Look over there at that girl,” she said as she pointed across the bar. “Don’t you think she’s pretty cute?”  


Ali laughed and shook her head, shooting Megan a sly grin. “Am I here to pick up chicks or am I here to have a great time with my friends?” she said coolly.  
She was glad when the rest of her friends nodded their heads in agreement, but couldn't help but notice out of the corner of her eye that the woman Megan had pointed out wasn't just cute, she was gorgeous. Although not the type Ali was generally attracted to, she couldn't help but admire the carefree yet confident way the woman was carrying herself across the room. Her blonde hair draped around her shoulders, the top of which was covered by a black, fitted snap-back hat with a red brim. The red flannel she wore was buttoned to the second to last button and the sleeves were rolled up just above her elbow to sport toned muscles and a sleeve of tattoos. Tight denim skinny jeans and black boots finished off her look. Upon a second glance, Ali decided that she looked like she had just come from the beach and didn't seem dressed right for the bar.  


Suddenly, the girl looked up from her group of friends and caught Ali staring. Ali quickly broke her gaze and looked away, turning her attention back towards her friends. What was she doing? Hopefully the woman hadn't noticed she was staring because that was not the vibe she was trying to give off. She was out for a fun night with friends, not to talk to random girls. That’s exactly what she had just told Megan and was exactly what she was going to do.  


“Who wants a shot?” she called out. “This rounds on me!”  


Her friends let out a roar and as she called for a round of shots from the bartender, she forgot all about the woman across the bar.


	2. The Meet

After sharing a few rounds of shots the girls decided to move over to a booth that had just opened up. Most of them were in heels and they weren’t intending on standing the entire night. Besides, if they rested their legs now they would have more stamina for dancing later if the night came to it.  


Ali bent over and set her drink down on the glass table that sat in front of the booth. “I’m going to run to the restroom real quick! Does anyone have to go?”  


Everyone had just settled into the booth and shook their heads no. After getting comfortable they didn’t feel like moving for a bit. Ali had half hoped that someone would join her, but couldn’t blame them. She couldn’t wait to get off her feet and nuzzle into the booth when she returned.  


“Does anyone need another drink while I’m up then?”  


“Yeah, I’ll take another martini,” said Megan. She held up her half empty glass as if she needed to provide evidence that she was getting low.  


“No problem. Anyone else?”  


The remaining girls all shook their heads no so Ali turned to leave. She pushed her way gently through the crowd making her way to the back of the building where the bathroom was located. It was a Friday night and the place was packed so she tried her best to avoid shoving anyone or get a drink spilled on her.  


Finally, she reached the bathroom which was surprisingly empty. Usually there were lines out the door for the Women’s Room at places like this. She did her business quickly and came out of the stall. After washing and drying her hands she turned to walk out of the bathroom when she crashed into someone who was entering it.  


Instantly, Ali felt a cool, wet sensation creeping down her stomach. In her hand had been a beer, which was now mostly spilled down the front of Ali’s shirt.  


“Oh shit I’m sorry!” exclaimed the woman as she looked at Ali’s shirt and saw what had happened.  


“C’mon this was a new shirt,” scoffed Ali as she glanced down at her now beer soaked shirt.  


Upon seeing the damage she had done, the other woman quickly grabbed some paper towels and wet them a bit. She felt terrible. She had always been clumsy and truth be told she had definitely not been looking where she was going. As she reached out her hand to give the paper towels to Ali, they made eye contact. It was the woman from across the bar.  


“I uh, uh,” she stammered as she accepted the towels that were being held out for her. For the life of her she couldn’t figure out why she suddenly felt so nervous that she could barely put complete sentences together. Usually she was so well composed. “Thanks.”  


There we go. Much smoother, she thought.  


The woman held her gaze a bit longer than Ali would have liked, but she maintained eye contact. She wasn’t sure if it was her composure as much as it was that the woman’s eyes were breathtaking. She became almost captivated by them. The glisten in her deep brown eyes made them all the more enchanting. Ali quickly looked away and tried to regain her senses, hoping that she hadn’t picked up on the mesmerizing effect that her eyes had.  


“Again, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?” She grabbed another towel and moved toward Ali to blot her shirt, but Ali pulled away.  


“I’ll be okay. Thanks for the towels.” She turned and walked away leaving the woman standing in the bathroom alone.  


This night is seriously not going according to plan, she thought as she wiped her shirt and then tossed the paper towels in the garbage can that she passed by. Hopefully the rest of the night was going to turn out better.  


Thinking another drink would help remedy the situation, Ali headed to the bar. It was packed a few people deep so she patiently waited, using her small frame to sneak between bodies to make her way closer. After a few minutes she had finally bellied up to the bar, but couldn’t grab the attention of any of the bartenders. She tried waving them down a few times, but they had their favorites and would pass her up. Ali didn’t frequent bars downtown often, she was more of a curl up on the couch with a glass of wine type of girl. This meant that she lacked a certain skill for flagging down bartenders in a crowded bar.  


Suddenly, she felt a body push against her back. Someone was trying to slide into the bar to push her out and Ali was going to have none of it.  


“Excuse me!” she exclaimed as she turned around to face the person who was intruding on her space.  


Again, it was the woman from across the bar, now known as the woman who had dumped half a beer on her.  


“Hey, I just wanted to apologize again for that little incident in the bathroom. I feel awful.”  


Ali was not in the mood for this tonight, or any night for that matter. She had already put in her dues in college of cheesy pick-ups at the bar and didn’t like where this was heading.  


“Did you come all the way over here to tell me that?” She shot her a look to let her know that she was becoming annoyed.  


“Well I also came over to get myself another drink because it seems that half of mine is on your shirt, but yes.” A smirk crept across her face as she realized that Ali was getting flustered.  


Hoping to cut the conversation off, Ali was short and to the point. “Well it’s okay. I forgive you for spilling your drink on me. I’m just trying to order my drink and head back over to my friends.”  


If the woman had taken her curt tone personally, it didn’t show. “Hey, let me buy you a drink. It’s the least I can do after what happened.”  


She seemed sincere in her offer, but Ali knew that nothing ever came for free. “No, it’s alright. I have to get one for my friend anyways.”  


The woman shrugged, “Alright then.” She turned the other way and with a wave of her hand called over the nearest bartender. “Hey Carla, can I get another two beers?”  


The bartender winked at her, “Anything for you, hun.”  


Typical, thought Ali. She would be the type that frequented places like this and knew all the bartenders.  


All Ali wanted to do was order her drink and return to their table. She glanced through the crowd to see if she could make out what her friends were up to. Through the gap between two people, she could make out the table where they were sitting. Everyone was laughing and having a great time and Ali was tired of standing at the bar waiting. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Whit’s attention and she excitedly waved at her to hurry back.  


The bartender brought the woman over her beers and set them down on the bar. “Who are you here with tonight?” she questioned.  


“Oh, just the usual crowd. How much do I owe you?”  


She just smiled back and shook her head. “It’s on the house babe. Maybe I’ll see you later tonight?”  


Ali held in a laugh at her attempt to set up a late night booty call. The whole scene was right out of movie and Ali thought the whole thing was hilarious. She waited for the woman’s response, hoping it would be a good one.  


“I’m not too sure where I’m heading after this, but you can hit me up.”  


Way to let her down smoothly, thought Ali.  


The bartender beamed at her response. “Great! I will!”  


She turned to walk away, and Ali called out to get her attention, but she walked right by. The woman next to her noticed the encounter and called out, “Carla, you got a sec?”  


She hurriedly made her way back over to where they were standing. “What can I do for you, hun?”  


“My friend here wants to order a few drinks,” she said as she pointed to Ali.  


It took a moment for Ali to realize what she was saying. “I, uh, no, I, I’m not her friend.” Although it wasn’t the smoothest response, after what she had just witnessed, she was sure that she didn’t want to be associated with whoever was standing next to her.  


The other woman and the bartender looked at each other quizzically. They weren’t quite sure how to respond to the stuttering woman.  


Finally, the bartender spoke up, “Well, friends or not, would you like to order some drinks?”  


Ali snapped out of it. “Oh, yeah” She realized that she finally had the attention of the bartender, something that she had been wanting for fifteen or twenty minutes. It didn’t matter how it got there, she was going to seize the opportunity. “Yeah, I’ll take a dry martini and a vodka cranberry please. Just put it on my tab. It’s under Krieger, Ali Krieger.”  


“Sure thing,” said the bartender as she retreated to go make the drinks.  


“I’m surprised it took a pretty girl like you so long to get the attention of a bartender around here.” She shot Ali a longing stare simply meant to fluster her.  


Ali knew that the woman was clearly trying to hit on her with the comment, but decided to ignore the obviously pointed statement while still taking the high road. “Thank you for flagging her down for me. I appreciate it.”  


She turned her hips so that her side was pressed to the bar and was facing Ali head on. “It’s the least I can do. How come I haven’t seen you around here before?” The woman smiled and as her eyes caught the light just right, they sparkled.  


God she’s hot, thought Ali. Since she was still waiting for her drink order to be filled, Ali decided that small talk couldn’t hurt too much. “I’m not big into the bar scene usually. I’m just here with a few friends celebrating.”  


“Celebrating what?” The woman lifted off her hat and adjusted it, tilting it to the side a bit more. As she lifted her arm in the air, Ali couldn’t help but stare at her tattoos. They were beautifully done and intricate. Tattoos had never been her thing, but for some reason in her eyes this woman could easily pull them off.  


“I got a promotion at work,” she said as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I work at a law firm.”  


“Ah well congratulations…” she paused waiting for Ali to fill in her name.  


“Ali. My name is Ali.”  


Just then the bartender brought Ali’s drinks over. “Here you go,” she said as she slid them over to her and then quickly turned away without chatting her up. Clearly, knowing the bartenders resulted in much better customer service. Still, she finally had her drinks so she wasn’t going to complain.  


The woman lifted her beer in the air to cheers, Ali. “Well, Ali, congratulations.”  


Ali lifted her glass up and clinked it against the other woman’s before taking a long sip. The woman caught the cue that Ali was looking to leave, so she turned to walk away. Without even thinking, Ali blurted out, “Wait, what’s your name?”  


The blonde turned around and flashed a dazzling smile. Though she was caught off guard by Ali’s sudden forwardness, she kept her cool. “Ashlyn. It was nice meeting you, Ali.” With that she turned and walked away, disappearing into the crowd.


	3. The Girls

“What took you so long?” whined Megan as she grabbed the drink that Ali held out to her.  


She fiddled with her drink as she slid into the booth next to Whit. “Sorry I got held up at the bar. I couldn’t get anyone’s attention. You think they would pay a little better attention to who was there first,” she scoffed, hoping that no one would pick up on the real reason.  


“Well I saw you talking to that girl for a while. The cute one that Meg pointed out earlier!” squealed Sydney. “What was that all about?”  
Ali laughed, while trying to hide the fact that her cheeks were turning a bright red. “Oh it was nothing. She was actually flirting with the bartender the whole time and called her over so I could order a drink.”  


Whit put her arm around Ali to mock comforting her friend. She yelped when she felt something wet. “Ew! Why are you all wet?”  


“Ashlyn spilled a drink on me accidentally.” The explanation seemed simple enough, but clearly piqued the interest of her friends.  


“Ashlyn? Who’s Ashlyn?”  


“The woman from the bar,” she said quietly, as if that was enough of an explanation.  


“Ashlyn? You’re on a first name basis with her now?” joked Kelley. She loved teasing Ali and would rarely pass up an opportunity to razz her.  


Ali avoided eye contact with the group, hoping to quickly change the conversation. “Oh quit it! We talked at the bar for a minute and she asked my name so I thought it was only fair that I knew hers. Now Whit why don’t you tell everyone about this new guy you started seeing?”  


Her idea worked exactly as planned. The other girls shrieked and leaned in close to get the details. Whit shot Ali a knowing look, as if to tell her she knew what she was doing, but indulged the rest of the group and began to dish out details.  


“His name is Scott and I met him about a month ago.” She paused and took a drink while letting the suspense build up.  


“And…” said Megan as she raised her hands in the air in mock confusion.  


“Yeah, where did you meet him? How’s it going?” chimed in Sydney.  


“I actually met him at the gym. He’s my fitness instructor,” she said sheepishly. She hadn’t planned on bringing him up tonight and cursed Ali under her breath.  


As if on cue, the girls all started giggling. “You’re fitness instructor? God I bet he has a nice set of abs on him!”  
“

Yeah does he have any friends with nice glutes?” joked Meg.  


Whit rolled her eyes and shot Ali a glare. She mouthed the words, I hate you, but Ali just joined in on the laughter. She felt momentarily guilty for throwing Whit under the bus, but was just glad that no one was focused on her and Ashlyn anymore. Still, she couldn’t shake the thought of her brilliant smile and sparkling eyes. There was something about Ashlyn’s cool confidence that made her heart skip a beat.  


“So Ali have you met this Scott fellow yet?” She was brought back from her thoughts when Kelley popped a question.  


“Uh, yeah,” she thought for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. “I met him once at the gym actually.”  


Whit caught on to her momentary lapse, but decided not to press it. The alcohol was getting to everyone and she figured it was only a moment of time before she became a bit absent minded. “Don’t be jealous that I’m dating a super sexy fitness instructor ladies. I can’t help it that I’m graced with such wonderful luck.” She winked and finished off her drink while the girls shook their heads. Typical Whit.  


The night continued on for a few more hours as did the drinks. The room was filled with outbreaks of laughter and shrill screams as they relived their college soccer years.  


“Do you guys remember when we came back from Spring Break and only three people passed the fitness test so Coach sent them home and ran us for two hours straight?” said Whit amidst the continued laughter of the group.  


As the laughter died down, Ali interjected, “Or that time when everyone was struggling to pass so he made us keeping running. And he was mad that people weren’t eating right so he kept screaming, ‘And maybe this would be easier if you weren’t all eating cupcakes and brownies!’ And then, ‘Are you glad you ate those extra cookies now?’”  


Everyone around her broke out into a fit of giggles, Ali included. This was where she was most comfortable, surrounded by friends and joking about the good ol’ college soccer days. Unfortunately, with those thoughts, came the thoughts of Lexi. How she had been at every one of her soccer games. How after celebrations she was the first one to greet her and take her out for a celebratory meals, and after a loss she would wrap her in her arms and wipe away her tears. For as many happy soccer memories that she had and joked about there were just as many memories with Lexi. She knew the alcohol was taking a hold of her and she was becoming emotional and wanted to just be at home, curled up in bed.  


“I think I’m ready to head out ladies. I’m already going to have a killer headache in the morning.”  


Everyone let out the obligatory groan. They felt the same way, but didn’t want to be the one to break up the party. Of course, Ali was the most level headed one that usually was the culprit in this department.  


“I’m going to go close out my tab. You guys good with your cab?” Ali was always to one to make sure that everyone else was taken care of.  


“Yeah there’s always a bunch parked out in front of this place. We can just grab one and take it back to my place,” said Megan.  


The girls nodded. They were all sad that the night was ending, but it was late and their eyes had become heavy as the evening went on.  


“Congrats again on the huge promotion!” said Megan as she wrapped her arms around Ali. “Just remember that you’re my first call if I ever need a lawyer.” She winked and Ali just shook her head.  


“I’m not cheap,” she replied with a grin.  
She laughed and then continued to hug the rest of them goodnight. She wished she could join them at Meg’s for the night, but knew she had to get up early and take care of some work anyways. Mornings at Megan’s always started late and usually involved some delicious breakfast, but she would have to pass this time.  
“Night!” the girls called out as they made their way out the front door and piled into a cab.  


Ali watched the cab disappear down the street before she turned to make her way back towards the bar. After a minute she was able to catch the attention of one of the bartenders. The place wasn’t as packed anymore so they had less things to distract them.  


“What can I do for you?” said the young man that was left behind the bar.  


“I’d like to close out my tab.”  


“Your name?”  


“It’s under Ali Krieger.”  


He walked over to the register and clicked the screen a few times. “You said, Krieger?”  


“Correct,” she nodded.  


“Someone already closed it out,” he said shortly. He thought she was just another drunk wasting his time.  


“I, uh, I” she was confused. “That’s impossible. I know for a fact that I didn’t close it yet. Can you double check?” she pleaded.  


Annoyed, he tapped the screen a few more times. “Nope it was definitely closed out.” He dug through a pile of receipts and pulled one out. “Here,” he said as he handed her the signed receipt. “Is there anything else?”  


The man was clearly annoyed and Ali didn’t want to waste anymore of his time. Besides, she knew exactly what had happened. “Nope. I just realized my friends paid it for me. Sorry for the mix up!”  


He rolled his eyes and turned away without another word. In his mind she was a typical, confused drunk girl and he didn’t want to bother with her anymore.  
Ali looked over the receipt and realized how many drinks they had tallied up over the night. The bill was upwards of $300 and she couldn’t believe that her friends had paid the entire thing. She made a mental note to take them out to a nice dinner in the near future. As she turned the receipt over to fold it in half, something caught her eye. On the back of the receipt, a handwritten note was scribbled.  


Congrats!


	4. The Way Home

Ali couldn’t believe that her friends had paid for all of their drinks for the entire evening. She couldn’t understand why they felt the need to do that. True they were all working nice jobs, but Ali made the most money by far and felt guilty that they covered the tab. As Ali walked outside she handed a set of keys to the valet. “It’s the blue BMW,” she said in a tired voice.  


“I’m sorry Miss but I think you’ve had too much to drink tonight,” the man said as he took the keys from her hands. “I’ll have to call you a cab.”  


Ali was shocked. She had never driven drunk before and knew that she was more than capable of making the drive home safely. “Excuse me?”  


“You seem a bit disoriented. I’m sorry, but I can’t let you drive. It’s a company policy.”  


It was absurd. This man couldn’t take her keys from her like that. It was illegal and she knew the exact legal statute that he was violating. Just as she was about to go off on him, she felt a hand on her shoulder.  


“Ben, let me have her keys. I’ll take her home and then grab a cab back to my place.”  


His eyes lit up, thankful that someone had stopped the woman right before she lit into him. “Of course, Ash. Here you go.” Another couple walked out of the building and waved him over so he turned and left Ali standing there alone with Ashlyn.  


“Thanks,” said Ali as she extended her hand to grab her keys. She was thankful Ashlyn had gotten them back and just wanted to get home.  


As Ali reached for the keys, Ashlyn pulled them back away from her. “I told Ken I would get you home safe and I meant it.”  


“Please give me my keys.” Ali was thankful that Ashlyn had gotten her keys back, but was really starting to get annoyed. There was no way that she was going to let this woman drive her car, let alone know where she lived.  


She placed her hand on Ali’s arm which sent shivers down her spine. “Listen, you just got a big promotion. Why risk it by driving drunk?”  


“I’m not drunk!” exclaimed Ali, upset that Ashlyn would insinuate she would risk everything.  


“I can tell you’ve had too much to drink because if you didn’t you would have already smacked my hand off of your arm by now,” she said with a smirk.  


Ali realized she was right and instinctively ripped her arm away. She couldn’t shake the instant empty feeling that flooded her body as she pushed Ashlyn’s warm, strong arm away. She shot Ashlyn a pleading look, but she wasn’t backing down.  


“I promise I’m not trying anything. I’ve lost a few friends to drunk driving and I’d rather not lose another.”  


She hung her head as she spoke and for the first time seemed more vulnerable. This was stark contrast to the confident woman she had originally met in the bar. Ali ignored the “friends” comment and finally gave in. “Alright. Do you know how to drive a stick shift?”  


Ashlyn’s face lit up. It seemed that she hadn’t been convinced that Ali was actually going to give in to her plea. “Of course I can! Which one is it?”  


“That blue BMW in the back corner.”  


She pointed and Ashlyn followed her finger until she noticed the flashy sports car parked by its lonesome in the valet lot. She gasped as she ran her hand over the smooth finish of the car. “This is a beautiful car,” she said as she popped the locks and scooted into the driver’s seat. She gripped the leather, wheel tightly and felt powerful sitting behind the wheel.  


“If you scratch it, I swear!” warned Ali.  


“Oh and you’re a lawyer to so I don’t doubt that I would be stuck paying off every cent of this car,” teased Ashlyn.  


That smile is going to kill me, thought Ali as she once again found herself getting lost in Ashlyn’s eyes.  


“Where too?” asked Ashlyn.  


“The Vermont Place. It’s on Wilshire.” Normally Ali wouldn’t feel comfortable giving out her address to a stranger, but with over 400 units in the building, it was a risk she was willing to take to get home safe.  


Ashlyn nodded and pulled out of the parking lot. Although she was normally more of a risk taker when driving, she made sure to abide by every traffic law so that Ali would feel more relaxed with someone else driving her car. They made small talk which would fall into lulls of silence. This wasn’t the awkward silence between strangers though. Somehow it felt comfortable, more like a silence shared between friends.  


Eventually, Ashlyn turned on Wilshire and they approached her building. “You can pull right into the parking garage there. I have a reserved spot,” said Ali as she pointed to the entrance.  


“Oh you have a reserved spot? That’s pretty fancy,” said Ashlyn. She jostled her leg and began to laugh when a slight smile crossed Ali’s face.  


Ali came alive at her touch and Ashlyn returned her slight smile with a sly grin. She caught her gaze and held it before Ali quickly looked away. It had been so long since she had been this close to anyone that wasn’t just a friend and she kept fighting her urge to break into a huge smile.  


Ashlyn returned both hands to the steering wheel and turned the car into the parking garage that was located underneath the building complex. With Ali’s guidance she was easily able to locate and guide the slick BMW into the reserved spot.  


They sat in silence for a moment before Ali spoke up. “Well, thanks for the ride. I really do appreciate it,” she said as she locked eyes with Ashlyn, who returned the stare. As she dug through her purse, Ashlyn asked what she was looking for. “I’m looking for some cash to give you for your cab ride back.”  


“Oh don’t worry about it! It was my pleasure to make sure you got home safely. Seriously it’s okay.” She put her hands up in the air to say she wasn’t going to take anything Ali handed her.  


“No, it’s the least I can do and I won’t take no for an answer. Now, I don’t have any cash on me, but if you’d like to come upstairs I can give you some for the cab ride back.”  


“I, uh,” Ashlyn was initially caught off guard by her offer, but quickly recovered. “Yeah actually I could use a restroom too if that’s alright?”  


Ali nodded, secretly praying that she hadn’t left the bathroom a mess before she tore out of there this morning. She thought back through her morning, but couldn’t remember. It seemed that every day had started to blend into the next until they all seemed the same. “Of course. That wouldn’t be a problem at all.”  


They exited the vehicle and walked toward the entrance. Ali flashed her fob in front of the scanner and when the red light turned to green, she yanked the door open. Inside the building, Ashlyn’s eyes lit up. While she hadn’t come from an impoverish family, she by no means had ever had this much money. Everything in the entire lobby was modernized and sparkling. Try as she might, she couldn’t find a speck of dust on anything. She kept her cool though as they walked toward the elevator.  


Ali nodded to the man working the front desk who winked at her when he saw she was bringing someone upstairs so late at night. “Goodnight, Henry,” she said to him with a teasing tone.  


Ashlyn plodded along behind Ali taking in the features of the place. There was a gym and Party Room, as well as signs for the indoor pool and dog park. Inside the elevator, Ali clicked the 12 button and immediately they were lifted off the ground and heading upwards.  


“These places are really nice,” said Ashlyn as they wandered down the hall of the 12th floor. She was transfixed on the sconces and artwork that peppered the walls and couldn’t wait to see the inside of one of the units.  


“Yeah I like it here. There’s a lot of units but once I'm inside it feels really private.” She turned the key and shoved open the door. Ashlyn followed her inside and Ali quickly flicked on the lights, illuminating the room. “The bathroom is down the hall to the right,” said Ali as she made her way to the kitchen. “I’m going to go grab some cash from the safe while you’re in there.”  


As Ashlyn entered that bathroom and shut the door, Ali pulled a picture of the wall to reveal a safe. She typed in the code and removed a small stack of bills before closing it and replacing the picture frame. The secret placement of the safe didn’t do much as the picture that covered it was worth more than the contents of the safe, but she liked the super-spy feelings it gave her when she needed to retrieve something from it.  


She turned around just as Ashlyn was entering the room. “This place is beautiful,” she said as she looked around her.  


“Thank you,” Ali replied, bashfully. “Here you go,” she pushed the money across the white granite counter top towards her. “This should be more than enough to get you back home.”  


Ashlyn didn’t want to take the money, but knew that Ali wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Thank you. I hope you know you didn’t have to.”  


“And neither did you,” she replied with a sweet smile.  


Ashlyn didn’t want to leave, but knew that it was late and it would be best for both of them. “Well, I’m going to head out now. Hopefully I can get to bed before the sun comes up!” She laughed and flashed that brilliant smile that drove Ali crazy.  


Ali caught herself staring at Ashlyn’s lips, but quickly looked away. “Okay, I’ll walk you to the door.”  


They walked down the hall silently, both unsure of what to say. Ali opened the main door and held it open. “Thank you again for getting me home safe, Ashlyn.”  


Ashlyn took a step past her, but stopped before crossing the threshold into the hallway. Her body was less than a few inches away from Ali and her face was even less than that. Ashlyn’s eyes looked deep into Ali’s as if she was searching for something, an answer, a reason or a warning. Instinctively she leaned in and placed her lips gently on Ali’s, giving her a soft kiss before quickly pulling away and retreating down the hall with a wink. “No. Thank you, Ali Krieger.”


	5. The Realization

Ali heard a knock at the door. She peeled the sheets off and instantly regretted it as the cool air wrapped around her body. Groggily, she made her away to the door, wondering who was at her door so late at night, actually, so early in the morning. Cursing the management who still hadn’t installed the peephole she requested, Ali carefully opened the door. Through tired eyes she saw Ashlyn, standing there with a sly grin across her face.  


“What are you doing here?” questioned Ali in a confused, sleepy voice.  


“What I should have done before I left,” Ashlyn replied as she pressed her body into Ali’s and swallowed her in a deep kiss.  


Ali’s pulse shot up as she felt the invigoration of being kissed so passionately. For a brief moment she resisted, but then gave in completely, allowing Ashlyn to take over her body. She could feel Ashlyn’s strong hands grasping her tightly as she pulled them even closer together.  


The sudden shriek of an alarm clock brought Ali out of her dream state. Part of her was glad that she had been awoken from the dream, but a small part of her was excited to see how it would have ended. She threw off the covers and smacked her alarm clock, shutting it off. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to will herself back to sleep partially because she was exhausted, but more so because she wanted to return to her dream, but the pounding headache and severe dehydration were keeping her from just that.  


“Ugh,” she hissed under her breath as she threw the covers off of her and sauntered to the on-suite bathroom. The tile felt cold and soothing underneath her feet as she stumbled in her hung-over state to the kitchen and filled up a large glass with ice cold water. Her stomach gurgled as the water mixed the alcohol that still resided there from the prior night. She decided there was only one thing that was going to help her get to work in an hour and that was a burning hot shower.  


Once in the bathroom, she dropped her clothes to the floor. It was Saturday which meant she didn’t care if the condo got messy. She turned the water up and was finally satisfied with the temperature and stepped in when steam began to fill the bathroom. Although at first it was painful, eventually her body adjusted to the heat and she could feel it soothing her muscles and pounding headache and it rolled down her body.  


The shower was where she always did her thinking and at the moment all she could think about was Ashlyn. She didn’t understand why she couldn't get her out of her head. Sure she was attractive, but she was the complete opposite of every other girl Ali had dated before. She was the complete opposite of Lexi. Yet, somehow Ashlyn was the one that was occupying her thoughts, not Lexi. What was it about her? She wasn’t sure of that, but she was sure of one thing. With everything going on at work and all the changes in her life, the last thing she needed was another distraction. She had made a commitment to the firm and right now that’s where her time needed to be spent. There was enough going on with work, her family and friends to keep her occupied, to keep her happy and she didn’t need to mindlessly throw her heart away to the next girl that made her smile a few times. No. Ashlyn had already somehow bored her way into Ali’s thoughts, she wasn’t going to let her worm her way into her life. There had been enough hurt there over the last year and she didn’t think she could handle another loss.  


Having made up her mind, Ali turned the water off. She stepped out of the shower and grabbed her towel off the towel rack. Although on the weekends she usually enjoyed air-drying in the hot L.A. sun on her patio, today she had to go into work and was running late so she quickly dried herself.  
Keeping it casual, since it was a weekend and no one would be in the office but her, Ali threw on a pair of dress jeans and a loose blouse, which she buttoned up to the third last button. Casual also meant that she could show a little more skin than usual. From her drawers she pulled out a grey dri-fit shirt, blue shorts, socks and a sports bra, all Nike. After a night of partying, she was definitely going to need to hit the gym when she got done at work. Hopefully, the massive headache would wear away by then too. If not the gym was going to be more tortuous than normal.  


A phone beeped in the other room, signaling that Ali had gotten a text message. She realized she hadn’t checked her messages since the night before so she clicked on the furthest one back so she could read them in order. One by one she read through the barrage of text messages from the night before and this morning, wishing for once she wasn’t included in the massive group message with her friends.  


Megan 1:59am: We made it home safe, Ali! Hope you did too!  


Kelley 2:02am: Yeah congrats again!  


Sydney 2:03am: Thanks for the great night!  


Whit 2:03am: Yeah let’s not wait so long next time before we do it again!  


Sydney 2:05am: And next time we’ll all bring dates. Wink wink… Nikki  


Whit 2:07am: You ladies better start looking now or it will be a while ;)  


Kelley 2:08am: I have already have someone lined up. Whit, you better bring Scott this time!  


Megan 2:10am: I bet Ali will bring Ashlyn!  


Kelley 2:14am: BAHAHAHA. YES!  


Sydney 2:16am: Can’t wait to see that :)  


Whit 8:42am: Does everyone else feel as awful as I do this morning? Hope you’re having fun at work Ali ;)  


Shit is that really the time, thought Ali. She really needed to get into work and take care of some things. She decided to ignore Megan’s prompt about bringing Ashlyn next time and texted back, “Had a great time with you lovely ladies too! Can’t wait til next time.”  


Before heading out, she made a final trip to the bathroom where she applied a light layer of makeup; foundation, eyeliner, and of course, mascara. As she turned to leave she noticed the pile of clothes that were lying on the floor. Her OCD impulse wouldn’t allow her to ignore it. She bent down and grabbed the clothes from the floor and turned to dump them in the hamper when something lying underneath them caught her eye, it was a crumpled receipt.  


Curiously, she grabbed the receipt and flattened it out. It was the customer copy of the $312.12 receipt from the bar they went to last night. Her name was on top underneath the “Name on Tab” section, but it was not a credit card number that she recognized. Hmm, Whit must have somehow slipped this in my pocket last night. That’s weird, she thought. But then something else caught her attention. After years of playing soccer and signing off on Study Hall hours for each other, she knew Whit’s signature in and out, and this signature didn’t match. She squinted until she finally realized whose signature it was; Ashlyn’s.  


Her mind was racing a million miles a minute as she analyzed what had happened. Ashlyn had actually paid for all of their drinks last night, not her friends. It made sense how she did it, she had been there when Ali ordered her drinks and said the name the tab was under. But she hadn’t mentioned it last night, so why leave the receipt in my pocket? Suddenly, the light bulb went off as she vaguely recalled the order of events from the previous night. This had been the bathroom Ashlyn used last night when she stopped up and it must have fallen out of her pocket. Ali couldn’t believe that she had done that for her and not even mentioned it, even when she drove her home. Thinking back on how she acted the night before, Ali felt slightly guilty. She had continuously rebuffed Ashlyn the entire evening even though she repeatedly went out of her way to do nice things for her. Ali wanted to chalk this all up to Ashlyn going out of her way to make up for spilling her drink, but she knew that there was definitely much more to it. Ashlyn wouldn’t have kissed her if she only wanted a platonic friendship or to make up for ruining her shirt. Still, this didn’t change anything. Just because Ashlyn had bought her and her friends a few rounds of drinks didn’t mean that she owed her a date. But she did owe her something. She owed her a thank you.


	6. The Search

After spending several minutes of trying, Ali was unable to make out Ashlyn’s last name. Her signature was a blur, probably because she had done it quickly so that Ali wouldn’t notice. She decided she would have to go about it another way. After she exited the elevator on the main floor, she strode up to the front desk. Luckily Henry was working again, and against her better judgment she approached him. Henry flashed her a huge grin, “That was quite the visitor you had last night, Miss Krieger.”  


“Enough, Henry.” She could feel her cheeks getting hot. Ashlyn was quite the visitor, but she didn’t want Henry thinking that anything had happened. “Did you call her a cab last night?”  


“Of course I did. A bit earlier than I expected though,” he said with a pause.  


Ali let the suggestive comment slide. “What cab company did you call?”  


“The same one as always. Why are you asking?”  


Damnit, thought Ali. He is not making this easy on me. “And which company was that?”  


“United Taxi. The same as always.” Although he was smiling Ali knew it was just to taunt him.  


“Henry I have somewhere to be. Do you still have the address that she requested to be dropped off at?”  


At her question, Henry’s smile grew even bigger. “Well let me look for you.” He shuffled through some papers that lay on the desk in front of him. “Actually no, I’m sorry. Someone must have thrown my note out.” He immediately picked up on the look of regret that bestowed itself on Ali’s face and quickly chimed in, “But I can call the cab company for you and request the information from them if you’d like Miss Krieger?”  


Although she appreciated his attempt at assisting her, she knew the old saying ‘if you want something done right you have to do it yourself’ was true. That’s what her father had always told her and it had gotten her pretty far in life so far. “It’s alright, Henry. Thanks for trying.”  


Henry’s smile instantly faded from his face. He loved to tease Ali, but could tell that this was actually something that was bothering her.  


On her drive in to work, Ali made a quick call. The line rang a few times before a deep voice on the other side picked up. “Hello?”  


“Hey Tim, it’s Ali,” she said with a perky voice.  


“Oh hey Ali, how are you?” he replied.  


Tim was Ali’s best guy friend. He had had a crush on her back in the day and she had let him down in the gentlest way possible. He was a great friend even though they both knew he still wished he could date her.  


“I’m alright. You have time to do me a quick favor?”  


Tim sighed. Favors for Ali were always interesting to say the least. Especially since she was a top lawyer and he was in the police department. The favors always seemed to roll in. At least he usually got a night out for drinks with her every week. “Anything for you, Ali. What’s up?”  


“I need you to find someone for me,” she said sheepishly. Tim was not the person she wanted to ask, but in a city as big as Los Angeles she doubted that she would ever run into Ashlyn again.  


“Find someone? Can you be a little more specific? I need a name or an address.”  


“Well that’s the thing. I only have a first name and no address.”  


She could tell Tim was pissed as the other end of the line was silent. Finally he spoke, “I know you’re smart Ali, but do you have any idea how big Los Angeles is? And you want me to find a single person based on the name?”  


Ali put on the sweetest voice she could muster up. It was time to bring out the big guns. “Tim, I know how good you are at your job. You find small people in big cities all the time.”  


Her charm worked and she heard Tim sigh on the other end of the line. “What’s the name?”  


“Ashlyn!” she said a bit too enthusiastically.  


"And this is another client or possible client of yours?” he asked skeptically.   


Ali hated lying, but she didn’t want to let him know what was really happening yet. “Yeah something like that.”  


“Can you give me any description?”  


Ali thought hard on the matter for a moment. She doubted that sexy blonde, with beautiful eyes, a killer smile, a sleeve of tats and a good kisser would help the matter much so she chose her wording carefully. “She’s Caucasian, got shoulder length blonde hair and a sleeve on her left. Her last name starts with an H, but that’s all I have to go on.”  


Tim paused for a moment while he wrote everything down. “And what’s she wanted for?”  


“She’s a possible witness for my client in a robbery,” Ali quickly lied. It was only a small lie. She felt like Ashlyn had already stolen her heart.  


“Alright, I’ll see what I can find for a Ashlyn H. with blonde hair and tattoos. There shouldn’t be too many of them in Los Angeles,” Tim said with a sarcastic laugh.  


“You’re the best, Tim!” said Ali. “Drinks Tuesday after work?”  


“Yeah, but you’re buying,” he said with a chuckle.  


“Deal.” Ali clicked her phone off and turned her full attention back to the road. She was excited that Tim was going to help her find Ashlyn. He was extremely good at his job, but the anxiety of waiting was killing her. For some reason she just couldn’t wait to talk to Ashlyn again.  


Work dragged by as Ali stopped to check her phone every five minutes to see if Tim had called. Unfortunately, he hadn’t. She decided that she wasn’t getting any work done so she might as well head to the gym to try to clear her thoughts. She packed up her work and closed her laptop after turning it off. Her work had a gym on the lower floor, but she didn’t feel like being there anymore. There was a gym down the street that she often used because she didn’t want all of the guys at work to check her out. Besides, she could lift heavier weights than them anyways and the last thing she needed was one of her top associates getting hurt and missing work because they tried to lift heavier to impress her. Little did they know, she was not at all interested.  


She threw her work stuff in the car and decided to walk to the gym. It was only a few blocks and the weather was gorgeous out. This was one of the perks of living in L.A., sunshine 95% of the time. She lifted her face up and let the sun wash over her lightly freckled face. As she reached the gym, someone held the door open for her. She thanked them before walking in.  


After getting changed quick she grabbed her headphones out of her bag and walked into the gym. Her phone began to ring just as something caught her eye. Without looking away she answered her phone thinking it might be something important regarding work, “Hello?”  


“Hey, it’s Tim. I found your girl. And I’ve got some news for you.”  


“I, I actually just found her, Tim” she said as she locked eyes on a sweaty, Ashlyn doing box squats across the gym. She had never seen a more toned, beautiful body. “Thanks though.”  


“Ali, I’ve got to tell you something, though.” He sounded serious, but Ali had no intention of listening at the moment.  


“I’ll call you later, Tim.”  


“But Ali-“  


She hung up the phone and took a deep breath. Well, here we go, she thought.


	7. The Question

Ali had to pick up her jaw from the floor as she looked over at Ashlyn, sweat dripping off her as she once again lowered towards the floor to bust out another squat rep with far more weight than she had ever been able to squat herself. She was wearing a grey cut off t-shirt that hugged her toned body tightly and sported a sweaty spot right at the small on her back. A long pair of blue basketball shorts and pair of Nike trainers completed her outfit. Ashlyn’s arms were well sculpted, but not too muscular that they were a turn off and Ali again couldn’t help but stare at the carefully crafted fusion of tattoos that snaked up her left arm. Part of the tattoo looked like intertwined waves and through the cutoff section of her shirt, she could also make out that the colorful tattoo continued down her side and onto her ribs. Ali swallowed hard and finally peeled her eyes away from Ashlyn’s body and leveled them. Luckily, Ashlyn had black ear bud headphones on and was very focused on her workout so she had yet to notice Ali.  


She thought she would play it cool and pretend she hadn’t noticed her as well. Much to her dismay she could feel her heart beginning to flutter and her palms became sweaty. As much as she wanted to say that she wanted no involvement with Ashlyn, her body was clearly telling her otherwise. Here we go, thought Ali as she popped her headphones in and clicked on her favorite workout playlist. She felt a bit better as heard Taylor Swift blasting through her ears and took a deep breath as she continued into the gym.  


She decided to start with some cardio, so she walked over to the treadmill for a warm-up and turned it on. She set it a bit faster than she usually would in case Ashlyn happened to come over, so she could impress her. After a few minute warm-up, she cranked the speed up, again higher than usual, hoping to get a nice glisten before she went and “bumped into” Ashlyn. She tried to focus on her workout, but was having a really hard time not staring at Ashlyn who had now moved on and was doing some bench-presses. Ali noted how the bar gently touched off her chest in a highly controlled movement with each rep, even though the bar seemed to be sagging a bit under the weight. After ten reps, Ashlyn set the weights back on the rack and sat up. Before Ali could divert her eyes, Ashlyn made eye contact. She was busted.  


A smile crossed Ashlyn’s face and she immediately stood up and made her way over. Ali was cursing herself under her breath as Ashlyn paused to wipe the sweat off of her face with a small towel. She approached Ali and removed her headphones when she was within speaking distance.  


“Hey there stranger!” said Ashlyn with a wide grin.  


Ali tried to play it cool as she kept running and shot her a brief wave, “Oh, hey! I didn’t know you worked out here?”  


“Yeah I just switched gyms a week or so ago. Have you always gone here?” she asked as she stretched her arms out behind her.  


Ali couldn’t help but look at her muscles flex when she did so. “Um, I,” she stuttered, trying to regain her composure. Although she was a high profile lawyer and a beast in the courtroom, this woman had he quite ruffled. “Yeah I’ve gone her for a few years. My firm is right down the street actually.”  


“Oh,” replied Ashlyn casually.  


“Hey, about last night,” began Ali before Ashlyn cut her off.  


“Don’t mention it. The ride was nothing.”  


Ali pushed the stop button on the treadmill. She was amazed that Ashlyn still hadn’t mention paying for the drinks and wanted to thank her properly. Her face came a bit more serious. “No, I wanted to thank you for taking care of my tab for me.”  


Ashlyn shifted uncomfortably on her feet, taken by surprise at Ali’s statement. She thought about denying it, but didn’t feel like testing the cross examining skills of a successful attorney. “Don’t mention it. I felt bad about the drink I spilled and you wouldn’t let me buy you one. It was no big, really.” She tried to downplay it, but Ali wasn’t biting.  


“You didn’t have to do that,” she said emphatically, and she meant it. This woman that she had just met, had paid for not only her drinks, but also for the drinks of her friends as well, and then said nothing about it and expected nothing in return.  


For the first time since meeting her, Ali noticed that Ashlyn appeared embarrassed as she looked down at her feet without responding. She felt guilty that Ashlyn felt that way so she gently placed her hand on her shoulder and softly said, “You didn’t have to do that, Ashlyn, but I really did appreciate it.”  


This brought Ashlyn out of her momentary state of angst and brought a smile to her face. This instinctively brought a smile to Ali’s face, but she wasn’t ready to let it go quite so easy. “Why did you do it anyways?” She hoped that the answer to this would give her a little more insight into what Ashlyn was trying to do here.  


“To be honest, I’m not quite sure.” She seemed a bit less confident than usual, still and Ali could tell she was being sincere. Hammering witnesses and clients on the stand for years had given her an eye for reading people. “I saw you over with your friends and you were all just having so much fun and I felt like I kind of put a damper on your night when I spilled my drink. I guess I just figured the world needed to see that beautiful smile some more,” she said with a shy grin.  


If Ashlyn’s confident side had turned Ali on before, this shy, vulnerable state was doing almost as much for her. “Well, thank you. And also thank you for the ride home. The way I was feeling this morning I probably did have too much to drink last night,” her words trailing off slightly at the end.  


“Well, better safe than sorry,” Ashlyn replied with a gently shrug. She paused for a moment and when Ali didn’t reply, continued with, “I’m going to go finish up my workout. It was nice seeing you.” She turned to walk away without giving Ali a chance to respond.  


Unfortunately, Ali was growing accustomed to blurting things out without thinking. “Do you want to get some lunch after you finish up? I won’t be here too long anyways.” She wanted to smack herself in the face as soon as the words left her mouth. She wasn’t completely sure that she even wanted to get lunch yet here she was blurting it out without a thought.  


Ashlyn turned around with a surprised look on her face. She squinted a bit and Ali couldn’t help but notice the cute freckles that peppered her tanned face. “Well, I actually have somewhere to be after this.”  


“Oh, okay. That’s fine!” said Ali quickly. She hoped that Ashlyn wouldn’t pick up on the disappointment that crept over her face.  


“But I’m free tonight if you’d like to get some dinner?”  


Instantly, Ali perked up. She knew she appeared too excited, but couldn’t help it as a smile plastered across her face. “Great! How does 7 o’clock sound?”  


“It sounds perfect,” said Ashlyn with a chuckle. She had definitely caught on to Ali’s eager tone. She wasn’t sure what the spunky brunette wanted from her yet, but she wasn’t going to pass up dinner with a beautiful woman.  


Ali handed Ashlyn her phone to input her phone number and turned slightly pink when she commented on her playlist. “Working out to Taylor Swift? That must be a pretty hardcore workout you have ahead of you.”  


Ali shot her a glare, but they both knew there wasn’t any real anger behind it. “I’ll pick you up at 7 and Taylor Swift will be blaring throughout the entire car ride all the way to dinner.”  


Ashlyn wanted to argue, but could tell that Ali meant business. She was getting what she wanted, a date with her, so she decided she could suffer through some Taylor Swift. “Alright then. See you later tonight.” She gave her a smile before walking away. She laughed to herself thinking about how insistent Ali had been on the Taylor Swift. She should have just kept her mouth shut about the playlist, she thought to herself.  


Ali waited for Ashlyn to turn away before doing a victorious fist pump. Although she was torn on where she wanted the night to lead, she wasn’t completely against it ending with another one of those kisses they shared the night before.


	8. The Perfect Dress

Megan was lying on Ali’s bed with a big grin on her face as Ali was perusing her closet looking for the perfect outfit to wear. Of course she wanted to look hot and classy, but without overdressing. This was hard to do seeing her wardrobe was half full of suits, business casual clothes and dresses for fancy dinners and the half was comprised of Nike sweats and athletic gear. She pulled out a dress and looked it up and down carefully before shaking her head and slipping it back onto the rack.  


“What are you smiling about?” she said, annoyed at Meg’s reaction to what she had just told her.  


She rolled over on her back so that her head was just hanging off the end of the bed, her face still sporting a wide grin. “Oh nothing,” she teased. She wasn’t going to let Ali out of this so easily.  


“We’ll you obviously having something going on in the bleach blonde head of yours,” Ali added incredulously as she hung yet another dress back up on the rack.  


“Mhmm,” was all she said in response.  


This set Ali over the edge so she grabbed a pillow that was nearby and tossed it at her head.  


“Hey!” Meg cried out, surprised at the force Ali threw it with. “What was that for?” She knew exactly what it was for, but wanted to hear it from Ali.  


“You know what it was for. Wipe that smile off of your face!”  


Ali wasn’t going to walk into her trap and Meg knew it. “I just think it’s funny how you laughed us off at the bar the other night, and now you’re going on a date with that girl!”  


“Oh stop. It’s not a date. It’s more of a thank you dinner since she bought all of our drinks last night!” She really emphasized the last six words to remind Meg that she had in fact benefited from the kind gesture as well.  


Megan simply rolled her eyes. “And let me guess, then she’ll give you a ‘thank you’ for dessert after you take her to a nice dinner?” She had a mischievous twinkle in her eye.  


“Megan!” Ali shrieked and threw another pillow at her. She didn’t appreciate the suggestive assumption her friend was making, even if her heart did skip a beat when she thought about the idea. She turned quickly to hide the smile that quickly crept across her face. “That is not at all what is going on here. I don’t even really know her!”  
Megan sat up and tilted her head to the side. “Does that even matter these days?” She couldn’t hide the sarcasm that hung on her word. “Damn. How long has it even been, girl?”  


Ali decided to ignore the comment, instead flashing a short, tight fitting black dress to her. “What do you think about this one?”  


Megan looked it up and down with a raised eyebrow. “And you’re telling me you’re not trying to get some dessert with that dress?”  


Neither Ali nor Meg could contain it anymore and they both burst out laughing. Well Meg did have a point, the dress was a bit promiscuous. Ali found herself in an arduous situation. As she dug through her closet, almost every outfit she picked up that was acceptable to wear that night reminded her somehow of Lexi. Her favorite red dress she had worn to her first Company Holiday Gala which she brought Lexi to. The steel grey one to a mutual friend’s wedding. Her navy blue one was what she wore to her cousin’s Baptism, which Lexi accompanied her to. After making a quick mental note that she really needed to go shopping for some more dresses, she settled on the black one in her mind. So what if it was a bit revealing?  


“Seriously though,” she said as her face became more serious. “Is this one okay?”  


“You look great it in Ali,” Megan said seriously. “And you know that or you wouldn’t have picked it,” she added with a wink.  


Typical Megan to never take a moment too seriously, thought Ali with a smile.  


Ali finished getting ready as Megan needlessly commented on every aspect of her appearance from her head all the way down to her toes. “Oh I like your hair like that, I bet Ashlyn will too.” Or, “Wow those are some pretty sexy earrings you’ve got on. There’s really going to set her off tonight.” With every remark Ali shot her a glare, even though she knew there was no stopping her. Besides, joking around with her helped ease her nerves before the date. Or whatever they were going to call it.  


After exiting the bathroom for a final time, Ali spun around in a few circles. “How do I look?” she asked rhetorically, already knowing the answer. “You can close your mouth now, Meg.” It was her time to wink and it brought a meager smile to Megan’s face.  


“You look gorgeous Ali. Any girl would be stupid to not fall for you.” For the first time that night, Ali could tell that Meg had dropped the goofball routine and was being completely sincere.  


“Aw thanks,” she said as she wrapped her up in a tight hug. “Even though I don’t even think that’s what I want.”  


Megan pulled away from the hug, although it took some effort because Ali had quite a strong grip on her. “What do you mean?”  


“I mean, I’m not sure if I want her to fall for me. Or anyone for that matter. I just don’t know if I’m ready, Meg.”  


“Well what does your heart tell you?”  


Ali shook her head and rolled her eyes. “You know I rarely think with that.” She tapped her temple, “I think with this guy.” Meg laughed as Ali continued, “I don’t want to rush into anything if I don’t know what I can handle or what I’m ready for. I wouldn’t even know how to know if I was ready.”  


Megan still maintained her serious tone, knowing that her friend was hurting and it wasn’t the time for jokes. “You want to know how to tell if you’re ready?”  


“How?” she responded quickly.  


“When you can go an entire night without thinking about Lexi, then you’re ready.”  


“Well that hasn’t happened since the breakup so I guess I’m not ready.” She hung her head a bit realizing that Meg was right.  


“Well then go out and have a nice dinner. You can at least make a friend out of this, right? I mean she seems like a chill girl. Hell, I wouldn’t mind if you brought her along to hang out with us, especially if she’s going to keep buying.” There she went, back into joke mode. She hoped to salvage the conversation and make Ali feel a bit better before she headed out.  


Ali nodded. Megan was right. She could still go out and have a great evening with her. “You’re right,” she said confidently, although she was mostly trying to convince herself. “Well I have to get going. I call you later and let you know how it went, okay?”  


Megan nodded as they left the apartment together. She wrapped Ali up in a big bear hug with her lanky arms. “You look gorgeous, Ali. Go have a great night. You deserve it!” She gave her a quick kiss on the cheek just as usual.  


Ali smiled as she slipped into her car. Megan was right, she deserved a fun night, whether or not she was ready to be romantically involved with anyone. And tonight, she was going to do just that.


	9. The Date: Part 1

It was a few minutes past seven when Ali pulled into Ashlyn’s driveway. Ashlyn was sitting on the front porch swing, already waiting. Instinctively Ali glanced down at her phone, it read 7:03pm. Damn, either she’s really excited about this date or she’s always very punctual, thought Ali.  


Ashlyn got up from the swing and Ali did a double take as she took in the sight before her. Ashlyn had tighter fitting black pants on, with a there quarter sleeve white button up and a tight fitting heather grey vest on. Although similar to before her hair was pulled into a tight bun, this was much different than the Ashlyn she had seen in the gym earlier. She wasn’t going to lie though, she was equally as impressed. Keep your cool, she thought as Ashlyn approached the car.  


Instead of approaching the passenger door, Ashlyn came up beside the driver’s side and pulled it open. Ali shot her a quizzical look, but Ashlyn simply extended her hand to prompt Ali to get out of the car.  


“What’s this all about?” she asked with a shy smile. Although it had been a while since she had been on a date, she didn’t think this was normal behavior.  
Once Ali was out of the car Ashlyn finally spoke. “Well you got to see me coming up to the car looking all dapper, so don’t you think I should get the same courtesy?” she asked with a wink.  


“Well then, I guess I might as well make it worth your while,” said Ali as she slowly spun around letting Ashlyn take her in from every angle. She caught Ashlyn’s eyes lingering on her butt, which Ashlyn thought was perfectly accentuated by the tight fitting black dress. “My eyes are up here,” she said and laughed while she watched Ashlyn try to recover.  


“I, uh,” she was fumbling over her words. “I think you look absolutely beautiful. You didn’t have to get all dressed up like that for me!” Although she couldn’t kid herself, she was very glad that she had.  


“Well neither did you,” Ali replied as she placed her hand on Ashlyn’s arm and jokingly looked her up and down.  


Ashlyn glanced down at her hand that was lingering so Ali instinctively jerked it away and shot her a shy look. “Well, what do you say we get this night started?” she said, careful not to use the word date. They were both certainly dressed for a date, but Ali didn’t want to confuse her while she attempted to keep their relationship platonic. She went to get in the passenger seat, but Ashlyn gently grabbed her arm.  


“I will be driving tonight. Besides I don’t trust you driving this thing in those ridiculous heels.”  


It caught Ali off guard at first, but then she remembered that Ashlyn had driven her car before without incident. “Alright, but remember-“  


“Yeah, yeah, if I crash it I’ll be indebted to you for the rest of my life,” she said mockingly. “Although I’m sure I could find other ways to work off my debt.”  


Ali coughed for a moment when Ashlyn finished her statement. That question was answered. Ashlyn definitely had intentions of being more than friends. It made Ali nervous, but she couldn’t help but be flattered by it.  


Ashlyn tried to judge Ali’s reaction, but it was too difficult. She had certainly seemed surprised she said it, but couldn’t tell much more than that. She didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable, but she couldn’t help but be turned on while looking at Ali in that form fitting dress.  


“So where are we going?” asked Ashlyn as she backed out of her own driveway onto the road.  


“Have you ever been to Spago?”  


Ashlyn shook her head no. “I’ve never heard of it actually.”  


“Well it’s this amazing bistro on North Canon Drive. Wolfgang Puck owns it and they have just about every type of food you could ever want, but he puts an amazing California twist on it! My favorite is the grilled prime rib eye. I don’t even know what they put in the sauce, but I think I could eat just that for a meal. And the cut of steak is hugeee.”  
Ali was clearly getting very excited about the food at this place and Ashlyn couldn’t help but smile. She liked a girl that wasn’t afraid to pig out, because she definitely wasn’t one to hold back either. She kept it to herself though, not wanting to offend Ali or make her self-conscious about it. They still barely even knew each other and she wanted to take the night to really get to know her. They made small talk for the rest of the ride while trying to feel each other out. There was attraction, sure, but neither knew where their comfort level lay or what the boundaries were.  


Finally, the pulled onto North Cannon Drive and Ashlyn began looking on the street for a parking space. Ali gently placed her hand on Ashlyn’s leg, “Use the valet. Looking as good as we do tonight, neither of us should have to walk.”  


Ashlyn smiled and felt giddy inside when Ali admitted how good she looked. She already knew that, but somehow hearing it from her was a million times better.  


The valet opened up Ali’s door and held her hand as she stepped out of the car and onto the curb. Ashlyn came around the car and handed him the keys. “Be careful with her buddy,” she said with a smile. “You don’t want to piss off that woman right there.”  


Ali glared at her, but the valet just shook his head and laughed as he slipped behind the wheel. Ashlyn shrugged her shoulders at Ali and then followed her into the restaurant. She tried to open the door first, but Ali was too quick and got there first.  


Once inside they were quickly seated and handed their menus. Ali folder hers and placed it on her lap, she already knew what she was getting. Besides, this allowed her to secretly study Ashlyn as she perused the menu and tried to decide what she wanted. Ali noted how cute she looked when her face scrunched up in confusion. Finally, she folded the menu and set it on top of Ali’s.  


“What are you going to get?” she asked, very intrigued.  


“I think I’m just going to have you order for me. I can’t decide.”  


Ali threw her arms up to surrender, “How am I supposed to know what you like to eat?”  


“I’m not too picky. Just order whatever. No pressure,” she said sarcastically.  


Ali was about to respond when the waitress came by. “What can I get you ladies to drink?” she asked politely. Her hand was wrapped around a pen and she was ready to write down their orders.  


“I’ll have the white peach sangria and she’ll have a…” She paused and hoped that Ashlyn would chime in with her own drink order.  


Thankfully, she came to the rescue. “I’ll have a Stella, please.”  


The waitress jotted them both down. “And are you ready to order?”  


Ali shot Ashlyn a pleading look, but she just sat back in her seat. “You can go first,” she said.  


The waitress looked to her for her order.  


“I’ll have the prime rib eye, medium rare.”  


“And for you,” she questioned Ashlyn.  


“She’ll have the same,” Ali chimed in.  


“Very well then. I’ll get those drinks right over to you ladies."  


Thanks!” said Ali in a cheery voice as she watched the waitress walk away. Her hips had her briefly mesmerized and they sashayed back and forth. Ashlyn cleared her throat and Ali instantly leveled her eyes. “Uh, sorry about that,” she mumbled.  


Ashlyn couldn’t help but let out a small laugh as Ali apologized for briefly checking their waitress out. “It’s okay. That’s what I was doing to you on the way into this place,” she said with a devilish smirk.  


Again she was about to reply when the waitress slipped in and set their drinks down. She was gone in a moment, but Ali decided to let Ashlyn’s comment go. Besides, she knew her ass looked great that night and she was glad that someone was admiring it.  


“So,” began Ashlyn as she took a small sip of her drink, “tell me about yourself.”  


Ali broke out into a laugh. “That’s the best you have? Really?” She kept laughing, but Ashlyn remained silent and waited for her answer. “Alright then,” said Ali as she sat forward in her seat, resting her arms on the table. “Well, it’s a pretty typical story I guess. I was born in New York where I lived with my parents and my brother Kyle. It was a pretty normal childhood I guess. We were a big sports family and my brother and I played soccer. Most of our family trips centered around tournaments and all that fun stuff. I got recruited early and fell in love with Notre Dame and its campus so I committed there. I did my undergrad in legal studies while playing soccer and winning a National Championship, might I add. Then I got accepted into the law school there. Graduated, passed the bar, got a job at a great law firm in Cali and never looked back. I just got promoted to a name partner so that’s cool too. Pretty typical I guess,” she added with a shrug of her shoulders.  


Ashlyn looked across the table at Ali amazed that she thought any of that was remotely typical. D1 athlete, National Championship, Law School and becoming partner at a firm by 26. The woman sitting before her was far from typical, she was absolutely amazing in so many ways, and Ashlyn was not afraid to let her know it.  


“First of all,” she said as she too leaned forward and rested her hands on the table, “you are far from a typical girl.” The sparkle in Ali’s eyes urged her to continue. “Everything you just explained to me, that’s more than people hope for in a lifetime, and you’ve achieved it already. You are a very special woman Ali.” She knew she was making her blush, but didn’t want to hold back. She had obviously found her attractive, but to find out there was so much more too her made her even more adorable in Ashlyn’s eyes.  


“Oh stop,” said Ali bashfully.  


“I mean every word.” Ashlyn sat back and took a sip of her drink, waiting until Ali spoke up again.  


“Well I appreciate it. And I bet you have just as amazing of a story.” Well, she hoped anyways or this was going to be an awkward encounter.  


Ashlyn shook her head. “You don’t want to hear about me. It’s not nearly as exciting.” The truth was, she really didn’t want to get in to her story. It was long and messy and not nearly as exceptional as what Ali had accomplished. She tried to deflect the conversation from herself, but didn’t find any success.  


“Hey I shared, so now it’s your turn. And then I get to make you blush well telling you how wonderful you are,” she said with a coy smile.  


The waiter slipped another round of drinks on the table and Ashlyn eagerly took a long sip of her drink. “Well, similar to you I grew up with both parents and an older brother. Much to his dismay, I followed him around incessantly when we were younger. He used to get so mad at me, but I didn’t care. I wanted to do whatever he did even though he always beat me at whatever it was. So his senior year of high school, he decided to forgo college and join the military.”  


“And what did you do?” Ali interjected.  


“Well like my big brother, after my senior year, I did the same.”  


Ali didn’t see that coming, but was certainly interested especially she pictured Ashlyn in a uniform. “What branch?” she eagerly questioned.  


“The army.” She kept it straight and to the point.  


“Did you…did you see any combat?” she asked with a concern filled voice.  


Ashlyn knew that was the next question that would be coming and she sighed before answering. “Yes, unfortunately. I graduated from the academy and was in the 1st Infantry Division, 4th Brigade Combat team. We were part of the 20,000 troops Bush sent into Iraq for Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2007. I served one tour and then opted to serve a second with the rest of my brigade.” Ashlyn hung her head a bit and became quieter with her responses as she thought back on it all. “But thankfully, I’m no longer active duty so I won’t have to go back.” She tried to sound light-hearted, but it was impossible with the flashbacks that were currently running through her mind. While she knew the subject would come up, she never thought she would feel so comfortable and tell Ali so much. Usually when girls asked, “the army” was the answer they got, and that was it.  


Ali sat awkwardly on the other side of the table trying to assess the situation. She could tell that Ashlyn didn’t want to talk about it anymore and she definitely did not want to push her. She was having a great night so far and didn’t want to end it on a sour note. For some reason, seeing Ashlyn there, sad and vulnerable sparked something in her that she hadn’t felt in a while. She reached out her hand and grabbed Ashlyn’s, who brought her eyes level with Ali.  


“Listen, Ashlyn. I’m not going to pretend for a second that I know what you went through over there and still go through on a daily basis here, but I want you to know that you are the special one. Not me.”  


Ashlyn smiled and locked eye contact with Ali. Looking deep in her eyes, she felt safe and comforted which was something she hadn’t felt in a while. “Thank you,” she managed to say while fighting back a small tear.  


“I meant every word,” Ali replied with a brazen smile. As much as the night wasn’t going where she had expected it to, she was feeling more comfortable by the minute. What Ashlyn had shared must not have been easy, but she let Ali see a side of her that few people ever did.  


Ashlyn drew her hand back as the waitress finally came over with their food. She slid the plates down before scuttling away and leaving them alone again.


	10. The Date: Part 2

“Shall we?” said Ali as she spiritedly plucked her knife and fork from the table. “I promise you, best sauce ever.”  


Ashlyn laughed and the tension was broken. There was no way she could stay upset when she saw the brunettes cute nose wrinkle as she grinned. She grabbed her own utensils and smiled, “You better not be lying to me!”  


“Would I do that to you?” asked Ali as she feigned being hurt by Ashlyn’s comment.  


“Oh please,” she replied with a sexy grin that was soon stuffed with steak. She let out a moan as she tasted her dinner that almost made Ali moan as well.  


“That good?”  


Ashlyn didn’t even respond and just kept eating her dinner. She didn’t want to admit it, but Ali was right. The sauce was to die for.  


After finishing up their dinners, they lingered at the table for a while. They mostly chatted about Ali’s new job and things they liked to do in their spare. Ashlyn shared some weightlifting tips which Ali pretended to be interested in and then they bonded over their mutual love of all things Food Network and HGTV related. They made sure to keep things light and stay on playful topics during the second half of the evening. Several times, surrounding tables shot them dirty looks when their laughter grew too loud, but that just set them off even more.  


As the waitress came with the check, Ashlyn reached for her wallet but Ali quickly slid the check away from her. “This ones on me, remember?”  


Ashlyn wanted to fight it, but she couldn’t argue with the woman. The truth was, she would have done anything Ali wanted at the moment.  


Ali slipped a couple hundred dollar bills into the pocket of the checkbook and then pushed her chair out, careful not to let it screech across the floor. “You ready to get out of here?”  


Am I ever, thought Ashlyn as she quickly looked Ali up and down.  


“Eyes up here,” Ali reminded her with a soft touch on her arm.  


“Hey, you checked out our waitress, so I get a free pass,” she joked.  


“Alright I’ll give you that. But that was your one shot.”  


Ashlyn mumbled something inaudible underneath her breath, but Ali decided not to push it. As they made their way out the door, the maître d held it open for them. Ali felt Ashlyn’s held on her lower back as she gently ushered her through the door. Although it took her by surprise, she couldn’t help but enjoy it.  


It had gotten a bit chilly out when the sun went down and a curt wind picked up. They waited for the valet to bring the care around and Ashlyn kept her hand there. Whether it was the few glasses of wine or the shameless flirting they had done all night, Ali felt emboldened. She leaned her weight into Ashlyn, taking in her strong scent. As it flooded her senses, Ali brought her face closer to Ashlyn’s. On her tippy toes, she whispered in her ear, “That hand better not go any lower. Remember you already had your free pass for the night.”  


Ashlyn took a sharp breath as she felt Ali’s warm breath on her ear. If they weren’t in public, there was no way she could resist ripping her clothes off and Ali’s words ran rampant through her mind. Was it an invitation or a true warning? She wasn’t sure, but she was going to find out.  


The valet whipped around the corner with Ali’s BMW. Although faster than she would like her car to be driven by a teenage boy, she decided not to press it and slipped a $20 in his palm as he handed off the keys. “I’ll drive this time,” said Ali. She added, “You drive too slow for me anyways.”  


Ashlyn’s mouth dropped. Was this woman really about to taunt her about her driving skills? She had driven Humvees in Iraq, this little BMW was nothing. “Okay and next time I’ll drive and make this car really sing.”  


Ashlyn noted that Ali accepted the challenge whole-heartedly as she sped down the L.A. strip, weaving in and out of cars. “Watch it, Alex!” she said as she zipped around a car last second.  


“Did you just call me Alex?”  


“Is that a problem?” Ashlyn asked, backtracking. "Her full name was Alexandria after all.  


“Not at all,” replied Ali with a sexy grin that Ashlyn wished would have lingered, but knew her eyes needed to be on the road when she was driving close to 90 mph.  


Much to Ashlyn’s dismay, Ali removed a hand from the wheel and placed it on her thigh. She was just about to react when her phone went off with a beep. She wanted to swear at whoever was calling her, but knew it could be important. “Hello?” she said, annoyed.  


Ali tried, but couldn’t make out what was being said on the other end of the line.  


“Ummm, I’m kind of busy right now. Is it really important?”  


She sighed. “Alright. Not a problem. No, seriously. Wait there are I’ll be right over. Promise?”  


She paused for a moment and listened to the person on the other end. “Okay, I’ll be right there. Stay put!” The last words were an order that she hoped were followed as she clicked the phone off.  


“Everything okay?” said Ali with a serious tone. She didn’t know what was happening, but she could tell that Ashlyn seemed truly worried.  


“Yeah, it’s nothing big, but I think I’m going to have to cut our night short. I’m so sorry.”  


Ali could tell she was upset, but this was something she obviously needed to do and she knew better than to ask what was really up. “It’s okay no worries. Besides you already used your free pass tonight, remember?” She took a page out of Megan’s book and tried to lighten the mood.  


Ashlyn couldn’t help but break out into a lighthearted smile at her attempt. “Right. I forgot,” she said matter of factly. “The place I need to go is right by your house, so you can just head there and I’ll walk over. It’s only a few blocks.”  


“No, I’ll drop you off. It’s not a problem.  


Ali thought she was being helpful, but that was not the case.  


“Ali, I’m telling you that it’s better if you just park your car and let me take care of this on my own. Please, trust me.”  


Ali could sense that Ashlyn was actually pleading with her in her voice and much to her surprise, she really did trust her. “Alright,” she said as she turned the car in the direction of her condo.  


After a few more minutes, Ali pulled into her parking garage. She brought the car to a stop and switched it into park before yanking the keys out. She looked over to Ashlyn, but she was already getting out of the car. “Is everything okay?” questioned Ali. She could sense that Ashlyn seemed in a bug hurry. “I can drive you there. I swear it’s not a big deal.”  


Ashlyn gave her a light kiss on the check and grabbed her hand. “I’m so sorry, Ali, but I really have to go. Thank you so much for dinner. I really did have a great night and I hoped you did too.”  


“I did,” said Ali, but she could already feel Ashlyn literally pulling away.  


Ali watched as Ashlyn jogged down the street, towards the wrong side of town. She wanted to help, but felt useless. Giving up, she grabbed her purse out of the car and made her way up to the condo.  


She felt off, so she decided the best course of action, as always, was a burning hot shower. Dropping her clothes on the floor, Ali stepped into the steaming shower. The water felt therapeutic as it washed over her body. She was still unsure of where she wanted this to go, but felt slightly upset that it had ended so abruptly. She had learned so much about Ashlyn and that there were more layers to her than just good looks and a smoking body. Though part of her really wished she could see her in uniform, the other part of her wished she could see her with nothing on. Oh my god, what am I even thinking, thought Ali.  


After half an hour, Ali stepped out of the shower and toweled off. It was chilly out so there would be no air drying tonight. She threw a bag of popcorn in the microwave and flicked on HGTV while she waited for it to pop. Hopefully, a marathon of Income Property could salvage the night. However, try as she might, she was three episodes in and still couldn’t focus.  


She kept thinking back to the part of the night when Ashlyn was simply cracking jokes and shamelessly flirting with her. After everything she had gone through, she seemed pretty well put together. Well at least from what Ali could tell. But then here she was running off without so much as a reason why. Not that she owed her a reason, but still. Ugh, women, she thought. She was so not ready for this, or was she? For the first time in as long as she could remember, an entire night had passed without her thinking of Lexi even once. Between the jokes and serious discussions at dinner, she hadn’t even thought of her ex or her past heartbreak. Going by Megan’s advice that only meant one thing. And that’s when she heard a knock on the door.  


“What are you doing here?” questioned Ali as she slowly opened the door.  


“What I should have done the other night,” Ashlyn replied as she pressed her body into Ali’s and swallowed her in a deep kiss.  


She pulled back for a moment, searching Ali’s eyes for permission. Ali’s sky rocketed and she looked teasingly back into Ashlyn’s eyes. This was just like her dream, only this time it was real and she intended to make the most out of it. She brought her lips up to Ashlyn’s ear, “I’ve got good news for you?”  


“And what’s that?” said Ashlyn heavily. She wasn’t sure she could resist her much longer.  


“Well, I checked the waitress out when we left.”  


“Oh yeah? And why is that good news for me?” said Ashlyn as she glared at her longingly. She knew where this was going, but let Ali continue to tease her.  


“Well, it means you technically get another free pass tonight. Would you like to keep it for later or cash it in now,” she said, her lips just lingering a short distance from Ashlyn’s.  


“I think you know that answer,” Ashlyn replied with a whisper.  


She wrapped her hand behind Ali’s head and pulled her in for another kiss, this one deeper and longer. Ali’s knees started to get weak and her hands quickly found Ashlyn’s broad shoulders for support. She wove her hand around her shoulders and into her hair as they locked in a passionate embrace, Ashlyn’s body pushing firmly against Ali’s , crushing her into the door.  


The broke for a breath and Ali’s hands began searching for, and quickly found the buttons to Ashlyn’s vest. With a quick flick of her fingers the vest was off, but she didn’t stop there. She undid the first few buttons of the undershirt, only to see something shiny slip out. It was her dog tags. Ali’s body trembled as Ashlyn kissed down her neck and frantically searched for her zipper. With a suggestive grin, Ali grabbed Ashlyn by the dog tag and pulled her into the apartment, slamming the door shut behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all for tonight! Enjoy :)


	11. The Morning After

As the sun began to rise, it cast a bright line of light directly onto Ali’s face. It was useless trying to fight it so she groggily opened her eyes, but turned over quickly as the sun seared into them. As she rolled over, she ran her hand on the other side of the bed. It was cool and empty, leaving just a tangled mess of sheets as a reminder of what had happened the night before. She was upset that Ashlyn hadn’t stayed the night, but at the same time it meant they didn’t have to have an awkward conversation that morning which was nice. Being a lawyer, she was a very analytical person and was glad she had the opportunity to compose her thoughts after what happened. To be honest, she didn’t know what Ashlyn wanted. Although it was obvious they both wanted and needed last night to happen, she wrinkled her face at the thought that that may be all Ashlyn had wanted. She highly doubted that was the case, but it wouldn’t have been the first time it happened and it probably wouldn’t be the last either. Not wanting to face the day and the facts, she remained in bed, wrapped in the warm sheets which still contained wisps of Ashlyn’s scent.

Finally, she turned over and threw the covers off. She shivered for a moment as the cold air wrapped around her naked body remembering that she had turned the AC up the night before as things were getting quite hot. She took a quick shower to wash off the sweat and sex that clung to her from the prior night. Her hair went up into a messy bun before she threw on shorts and a white tee. She made the bed, pausing for a brief moment to take in the scent of the pillow that Ashlyn’s head had been firmly pressed into as she laid on her back taking in Ali’s rhythmic movements. A smile crept across her face as memories from the night flashed through her mind. As Megan noted, it had been quite a while and now that the seal was broken, she couldn’t wait for round two.

In the kitchen Ali grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with orange juice. As she went to set it down on the counter, a small piece of paper had caught her eye. She shook her head when she realized it was a torn corner of the calendar that hung on the wall, but she couldn’t help but smile as she read the note.

Sorry I had to run! I loved last night and I loved waking up next to you this morning. I gave you a goodbye kiss, but didn’t want to wake you. You looked so cute sleeping there. Text me if you want to grab lunch or something this week!  
Ashlyn

Ali immediately forgot that Ashlyn had ripped her calendar to write the note as to held it to her chest. Her questions were answered, Ashlyn wanted more than just a one night fling, and for the first time in a long time, Ali knew she wanted the same. 

With a swift motion, Ali grabbed her glass from the counter and made her way over to the wall of windows that encircled her living room. She stared out, taking in the sight of the Los Angeles skyline. It was actually the main reason she had purchased the place. The inside had needed some renovations, but the view was what finally sold her. She finished her juice with one last gulp and then headed back to the bedroom to grab her phone.  
There we no messages which made her frown, but she reminded herself that Ashlyn did leave a note so maybe it was on her to make the first contact. Swiping through her contacts, Ali found and clicked on Ashlyn’s name. She pondered for a minute on what to write. What does one even write after a steamy night of mind blowing, passionate sex? Even though she knew Ashlyn was going to be expected her to call or text, she still didn’t know what the appropriate response would be. It had been a while since she had been in this situation, so she settled on a simple, “Good morning! I got your note,” text.

After a few anxious minutes of waiting, her phone vibrated and she finally got a response.

“Hey you! I hope it was a good morning ;) So what do you think?”

Ali knew that she was referring to the part in her note when she suggested meeting up for lunch. “I’m not too sure about that...”

“Oh. Why not?”

Ali couldn’t see Ashlyn’s reaction, but she knew that she was disappointed. “Well, I’m not too sure if I can wait until the weekend is over to see you. You free tonight?”

Ali didn’t know this, but on the other end of the line Ashlyn had a huge smile on her face. “Alright. But this time I’ll pick you up, I’ll pick the place and I’ll pay. Dress casual. Does 16:00 work for you?”

The 16:00 part confused her a bit, until she realized it was military time. Ashlyn was in her element, taking complete control of the situation, something that Ali loved. There was nothing more enthralling than a woman who knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to let you know it. “Yes ma’am! I’ll be ready and waiting.” And the truth was, she really couldn’t wait. She still wasn’t sure what it was about Ashlyn, but she wanted to get to know her better, deeper in more ways than one. She read Ashlyn’s response, “Great! See you then,” before clicking on her favorites list and selecting a name. The line rang and she waited until she heard a tired voice on the other end of the line, “Hey Meg! Whatcha up to?”

“Well I was sleeping until my phone rang,” she said sleepily.

“Oh sorry.” Ali was disappointed. She really wanted to dish on her night, but knew that Megan loved her sleep. “Call me later when you’re up.”

As much as Megan wanted to roll back over and fall into deep sleep again, she knew that Ali desperately needed to share. “No, it’s okay. I have to be up soon anyways,” she lied. She knew Ali would insist on calling her back later if she didn’t. “Tell me how your date went last night what that stud!”

Ali couldn’t keep it in any longer. “Well it lasted longer than the night!” she shrieked. 

“No!” said Megan, suddenly much less groggy as she listened to her friend dish the dirty details of her night. “I told you it was that dress, Ali. So let’s hear the juicy details.” She laughed and let Ali take over the conversation.

“Well I took her to Spago and we had a nice dinner. She was pretty much flirting with me the entire time we were there and oh my god she looked so hot last night. Like, damn.” She paused and heard Meg laugh on the other end. “And it wasn’t just a physical attraction, we actually had real conversations. I told her about work and my family and she told me a bit about what she does.”

Megan could tell that Ali’s voice dropped down and became quieter at the last statement. It was her tell that something was a bit off. “Well what does she do, Ali?” she said, prying a tad.

“She is in the military, or was anyways. The army to be more exact.”

“Oh damn! You got yourself a woman in uniform. You go!” she said excitedly.

“Yeah I know.” Her voice still trailed off a bit.

“Is something wrong with that?” She knew that Ali was pretty high on the social ladder and thought maybe that had something to do with it.

“I know what you’re thinking Megan and no, that’s not it. I just,” she paused and thought. “I don’t know she seemed really sad and quiet and tried to brush by the conversation really fast. You’d think something like that, like serving in Iraq, that would be a big part of her and she would have a lot more to say, right? Am I crazy over here or does that seem weird?”

“Ali, think about it for a minute. Really think.” Her friend was extremely intelligent, but sometimes lacked common sense. “You’re overseas, away from your family and loved ones for a year, maybe two. You do things, things she probably doesn’t want to relive let alone tell a girl on a date. You’re not crazy to think there’s more to the story, but it’s not your place to pry in that aspect. When or if she chooses to tell you those things, just know it won’t come lightly.”

Once again, Megan was right. She hadn’t thought about it from that perspective. “Yeah that makes sense. Tonight, should I apologize for pushing her on the matter?”

“First of all, you’re seeing her again tonight already? Damn. And second of all, I would completely avoid bringing it up if I were you. There could be some deep secrets there and you gotta let her tell it on her own time.”

“You’re right. Thanks, Meg.”  
“No problem. But I have a more important question.”

“What’s that?” asked Ali, her voice cracking a bit as she knew what her friend was going to ask.

Megan sighed, “What happened to the whole not being ready part? If you’re not, you can’t go down this road.”

“Well, I’ll have you know that I listened to your advice exactly.”

“Oh really? I highly doubt it based on this conversation,” she added.

“You told me that I would be ready when I could go out with someone and not think about Lexi for an entire night. And for the first time since the breakup, that actually happened.”

“No kidding?” said Megan with a tone of surprise.

“Yep.”

“Well good for you, Ali. You deserve someone that makes you happy and shows up for you. She isn’t going to move across the country for a job is she? I mean she is in the military.”  
Ali was a bit annoyed that Megan brought up the reason they broke up and insinuated that Ashlyn would do the same thing. “Actually, no. She’s not in the military anymore. She did her two tours and served her time.”

“Alright, alright.” Megan conceded. “Well, bring her around to meet us sometime before you two get a U-Haul.”

Ali let out a groan. “Ugh Meg you’re ridiculous. I’ll call you later after my date.”

“Should I be expecting a call Monday morning then?” she teased.

Ali blushed and couldn’t help herself, “Yeah you’re probably right. Talk to you Monday!” she said before hanging up the phone without waiting for a pointed response.


	12. The Second Date

At 3:55pm, Ali received a text, “Here,” from Ashlyn. She was still finishing up getting ready so she texted back, “Sorry I’m running a bit late. I’ll be down in a few!”  


“No worries, take your time,” was what she got in response.  


She shook her head thinking that she was going to have to talk to Ashlyn about the whole punctuality thing. While Ashlyn was used to military time, meaning that five minutes early was on time and on time was late, Ali was a bit of a dawdler. She could meet deadlines at the firm, but outside of work she was a bit more carefree with her time. She pushed her earrings in, before doing a quick glance in the mirror. Deciding she looked acceptable, she grabbed her purse off the kitchen counter and made her way out to Ashlyn’s car.  


Ashlyn was waiting in a fairly new all black Jeep Wrangler. She noted how hot her date looked sitting behind the wheel, her eyes hidden by a dark pair of Ray-Bans. Though her eyes were hidden, Ali could tell Ashlyn was checking her out by the wide grin that grew on her face as Ali sauntered over to car.  
She slid into the passenger seat and Ashlyn gave her a quick peck on the cheek. They sat there in awkward silence for a moment, looking each other up and down, before Ashlyn spoke.  


“You like cute,” she said, noting how toned and tanned Ali’s arms looked in her white tank top. She glanced down to her legs and noticed how muscular they were as they filled out the short, denim cutoffs. It was more of her body than she had ever seen in the light, and it was every bit as sexy as she remembered.  


"Thanks, you too!” she replied with a smile. “So where are you taking me?”  


“Well, I thought since last night was a little classier that we’d head to Newport Beach. We can sit on the pier and stuff our faces with fish tacos. How does that sound?”  


Ali could tell that Ashlyn was a surfer girl through and through. If her bleach blonde hair, tattoos and wardrobe wasn’t enough to blow her in, her carefree nature was. She was excited to see Ashlyn in her element and eagerly agreed. “That sounds perfect,” and it did. You can’t have me home too late though. I do have to be at work at 7am tomorrow to prep for a big case,” she quickly added. As much as she wanted to relive the events of last night, she couldn’t risk being late to work in the morning.  


Ashlyn teased her with a rugged smile, “I’ll see what I can do about that.” She put the car into drive. “And I’ll show you how to really drive,” she said as she grabbed Ali’s hand and peeled out onto the street.  


Ashlyn hadn’t lied. The trip to Newport Beach should have taken them almost an hour, yet they were pulling into the parking lot in less than 40 minutes. Ali breathed a sigh of relief as she switched the car off.  


“Oh come on. It wasn’t that bad,” Ashlyn joked as she jostled Ali’s leg.  


“Let’s just say you win this one and we’ll both be a little more cautious from now on, okay?” she said mockingly as she stepped down out of the jeep and shut the door soundly behind her.  


“All I needed to hear were the words ‘you win’ so you got it babe,” she said as she wrapped her arm around Ali’s lower back.  


It felt so natural and Ali just nuzzled her body up against Ashlyn’s, until Ashlyn’s hand was now resting on her other hip. Ashlyn looked down at her with a smile and kissed her on top of the head. “I’m glad we’re doing this,” she said softly.  


Ali wasn’t quite sure what they were actually “doing”, but all she knew is in that moment she felt full again, something she hadn’t experienced in a long time. “Me too,” she whispered back and planted a gentle kiss on her lips. 

The two walked hand in hand down the boardwalk for a few minutes, taking in the sights of the ocean as it crashed onto the beach. Even though she lived relatively close and thoroughly enjoyed it, Ali barely ever found the time to make a trip to the coast. Work had been so chaotic and after the breakup when she wasn’t working, she spent most of her time holed up in her dark condo binge watching Netflix. Finally, she was beginning to step back into the light.  


Ashlyn released Ali’s hand and bellied up to the railing of the boardwalk. She leaned forward, her body weight resting on her elbows which sat atop the railing. She was wearing a fitted black tee that hugged her back tightly and a pair of longer white shorts with flip flops. As Ali followed Ashlyn’s eyes, she could see that she was looking out at the waves and the surfers that were peppered throughout them. In one look she conveyed so much, a look of longing, longing to be out there on the waves, but also of admiration. This time, the silence did feel so awkward. It was a comfortable silence Ali was glad to stand back and watch as Ashlyn’s eyes searched the ocean.  


Finally, Ali slid up next to her and nudged her, “What are you thinking about?”  


Ashlyn paused, unsure if she wanted to share. She was about to shrug Ali off, but when she looked over she saw a pair of giant brown eyes comforting her. Turning her attention back to the water she finally spoke. “To be honest, the ocean reminds me of my time over there.” The puzzled look on Ali’s face urged her to continue. “I know it doesn’t make sense. They’re on the opposite sides of the spectrum, the ocean and the desert. But being over there, so isolated and alone and surrounded by nothing but miles and miles of sand, I thought of the ocean almost every day. I grew up here, at the beach, in the water, on a surfboard and to have something that practically defined me be stripped away, it was really hard. And don’t get me wrong, I know I signed up for it, but I really didn’t expect it to be difficult being away from the States. Everyone else had pictures of their spouses or significant others or kids, but I didn’t have any of that. I had pictures of the ocean, of my perfect wave.” She paused for a moment, thinking about what she just said. “I’m sorry to ramble. I really must sound crazy,” she said, trying to laugh it off.  


Ali shook her head, “It doesn’t sound crazy to me.” She slipped her hand into Ashlyn’s and leaned her head on her shoulder. “I like listening to you talk and seeing this side of you.”  


“Well thanks for humoring me and making me feel like I’m not insane. I appreciate it.” She wrapped her arm around Ali’s shoulder and pulled her in close, feeling the warmth of her body and how perfectly she fit against her own frame. “I’ve never actually told anyone that,” she said aloud without thinking.  


“Really?” said Ali with a surprised look.  


“Really,” said Ashlyn quietly. “I’m not a one to talk about these kinds of things, for future reference.”  


“That’s certainly understandable. If you ever need to talk-“  


Ashlyn cut her off, “I know who to come to.” She shot her an endearing look and gave her a deep kiss. “Trust me though, you don’t want to hear it. You don’t need to hear what I,” she wanted to stop, but it was too late. “You don’t need to hear about what I did over there.” Her voice trailed off as she finished her statement.  


The way she worded it took Ali by surprise. She was curious, but knew better than to push her on it. “Well I meant what I said. No matter what it is, you can always come to me.”  


“Pinky promise?” Ashlyn said managing a weak smile while she extended her pinky finger in a half-hearted attempt to lighten the conversation.  


“Pinky promise, said Ali as she returned the smile.  


Ashlyn didn’t know what it was about this girl, but for the first time since being back, she was finally starting to feel close to someone again. She was beginning to sink back into a comfort zone. Unfortunately, the more she let Ali in and the closer they became, the closer she was becoming to having to tell her the truth, all of it. She just hoped that Ali would be the girl that would make coming clean worth it.


	13. The Case

The next few weeks, Ali and Ashlyn spent most of their free time together. Whether Ali slipped out of the office during her brief break to grab lunch, or met Ashlyn out after work for dinner or drinks, or Ashlyn slipped into Ali’s condo for a late night rendezvous, they were always together. And when they weren’t together, all they could do was think about the other. Ali tried as hard as possible to focus on her upcoming trial, but found the cute and suggestive texts from Ashlyn to be quite distracting. Finally, her trial was the next day so she warned Ashlyn not to text her for the remainder of the day because she really needed to concentrate and pull everything together. At 3pm she told her it would be a late night at the office and that she would call her the following evening when she got out of court. The last text she received from Ashlyn before turning her phone to silent was, “okay” with a sad face emoticon.  


A few hours later, Ali was trying to shake off a pounding headache. She hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before thanks to Ashlyn and she was so behind on the case that she hadn’t even gone out to get something to eat all day. Still, she forged through, pouring over pages and pages of depositions and reexamining the official evidence until her eyes were beginning to cross.  


A light knock on her door brought her out of her daze. She looked up and saw her partner, Parker, standing in the doorway. He had his car keys and briefcase in hand.  


“What’s up, Parker?” she casually asked.  


“Late night last night?” he said, noting the bags under her eyes.  


Ali’s cheeks instantly began to turn pink as he winked at her. Although she wanted to deny it, she knew Parker was more perceptive than that. Besides, he meant it all in good fun as a grin crept across his face. “Yeah, I guess so,” she said with a chuckle.  


He stepped into the office, examining the pile of folders that were on her desk and noting that the clock read 9pm. “Don’t we have associates to help you with all of that? That’s what we pay them for. One phone call and I can have them all back here in half an hour.”  


“You know how I work, Parker. I can’t go in that courtroom tomorrow without knowing the details inside and out. The associates already went over this and submitted their summaries, but I have to see it for myself. They offered to stay, but I sent them all home a few hours ago.”  


Parker shook his head. This was the exact reason he had promoted Ali to name partner. Her commitment to the firm and to winning was unparalleled. His voice took a more serious tone, “How do you think it’s going to go tomorrow? Feeling confident?”  


Ali looked up from the deposition she was reading and thought for a moment. “The evidence is there, but I’m not too sure how their other witness is going to play out. I’m just looking for all the possible angles I could take tomorrow if need be. If we can nail this witness, this case is ours.”  


Parked nodded as he listened to her response. “Hey if anyone can get it done, it’s you, Ali. Just promise me you won’t stay here too late and that you’ll take a break from your lady friend for tonight. You need to get some sleep tonight.” He noticed her start to laugh at his mention of Ashlyn as her “lady friend” and tried to keep his composure. “I’m serious, Ali!”  


She kept laughing, but nodded. “Of course, Parker. I promise I will head straight home to bed after I finish up here.”  


He accepted her answer and nodded. “Alright. Good luck Ali. Let me know if you need anything, alright?”  


“You got it. Now go get home to that hot wife of yours,” she said with a smirk.  


“Watch it, Ali!” he said with a snicker before disappearing down the hallway towards the elevator.  


Ali refocused and turned her attention back to the files. She knew the answer had to be there somewhere. Her firm was representing a man who was fired by his firm soon after blowing the whistle on corporate financial fraud. Although whistleblowers were supposed to be protected by the company, they had waited just long enough to give him a few bad performance reviews and fired him not long after that. He was suing them for wrongful termination. It seemed like a clear cut case, but the company had added his manager to the witness log and she knew their whole case rested on the fact that he had received these bad performance reviews which he alleged he was never actually met with about. If there was a crack in their case, that’s where she was going to find it.  


Fifteen minutes later, Ali was pulled from deep thought again when there was another knock on her door. “Parker, I told you to go home to you sexy wife!” she said with a laugh.  


“Oh so you think Parker’s wife is sexy, huh?” The voice was not Parker’s. Ali looked up and saw Ashlyn standing in the frame of the doorway. “I can leave and have her bring you some dinner if you want,” she said with a pause and a teasing grin as she held up a bag of Chinese takeout.  


“Oh, no. I’d definitely rather have you for dinner. I mean,” she stuttered, “I’d rather have you bring me dinner.” She thought she caught herself, but Ashlyn wasn’t going to let her off so easy.  


“Oh wow. You’re just full of great lines tonight, aren’t you, Alex?”  


Ali gulped as Ash stepped towards her. She looked from the papers on her desk back to Ashlyn and then back to the papers again. She knew she was getting short on time, but to be honest, a little tension relief would probably help. Besides, the way Ash was looking at her there was no way she would be able to stop herself. She spun around in her chair and let Ashlyn slide between her legs and lower herself down to for a kiss.  


It started slow, with Ashlyn’s tongue slipping between Ali’s lips. Then it became deeper and rougher and Ashlyn’s hand snaked up into Ali’s hair gripping it so tightly that Ali cried out. She could feel herself getting wet as Ashlyn began to run her fingers slowly up Ali’s skirt, teasing her. The soft moans escaping from Ali’s mouth only fueled Ashlyn’s passion. She wanted Ali, no she needed Ali, and she needed her now.  


With one swift motion of her free arm she wiped Ali’s desk clean. Papers, folders pens and highlighters went flying in every direction. Ali wanted to object, but she wanted Ashlyn inside of her more. She brought her lips up to Ashlyn’s ear and nibbled before whispering, “Fuck me. Now.”  


That was all the encouragement Ashlyn needed and she swooped Ali out of her chair and slammed her roughly against the desk. She placed a hand on Ali’s chest and roughly pushed her down so that her back was flat against the large wooden desk. Ali quickly began unbuttoning her blouse as Ashlyn showered her now exposed neck with kisses, all while still teasing Ali underneath her skirt. She happily found that Ali was soaking and decided she had teased her enough.  


With her lips kissing, licking and nipping at Ali’s perky nipples, she moved her panties to the side and plunged two fingers into her center. Ali gasped sharply at the pleasure of feeling Ashlyn inside of her. She let out another moan, longer and louder this time, secretly praying that everyone was gone for the night. She hadn’t even locked the door, but was too excited to care. She ground herself down on Ashlyn’s hand, matching her rhythm as she slipped another finger in. She increased her motions, faster, deeper and harder and stared at Ali as she felt her insides finally contract around her. With one last high-pitched moan, Ali’s eyes rolled back and her back arched off the desk as she convulsed in ecstasy.  


Ashlyn rode it out with her until Ali’s back finally settled back down and she was gasping for air. She liked her fingers before leaning over and kissing Ali deeply.  


“I can’t believe we just did that,” she said with a laugh, still gasping for air.  


“I can’t believe you didn’t smack me when I threw everything off your desk!” Ashlyn replied. She was actually pretty amazed.  


“Well you’ll be picking all that up before you go,” she teased. Ali sat up and nestled between Ashlyn’s legs. “That was amazing.” She pulled Ashlyn’s face down and kissed her softly, biting her lip lightly as she pulled away.  


“Oh it was. Let’s just hope that no one was here.”  


Ali looked embarrassed. She had been rather loud. “You think anyone heard me?” she joked.  


Ashlyn just laughed and shook her head. “Don’t you pretty much own this place? You could just bribe them or pressure them into doing whatever you wanted, right?” She saw Ali’s eyebrow start to furrow, but she kept going, kissing Ali’s neck gently between every sentence. “Actually, I mean you are a lawyer. You can dig up dirt on anyone and wouldn’t even have to pay them. Just blackmail them really.” Ashlyn rambled on with her joke as she continued kissing down Ali’s neck heading towards her breasts.  


That was it. That was the answer. She pushed Ashlyn off and began frantically searching the floor for the files that had flown everywhere. She remembered when watching the manager’s original deposition that he seemed a bit nervous and kept shooting worried glances at his lawyer who kept reassuring him. That was their crack. If she could get him to admit that he was being pressured or blackmailed by the company to lie, they would have the case in the bag. All she had to do was find the dirt.

As Ashlyn grabbed a file folder from the floor and lifted her eyes to find Ashlyn’s unimpressed stare.

“I’m so sorry. I just, I…” she felt awful when she realized that she had stopped in the middle of everything to jump back into her work. “I kind of have to do this quick,” she said faintly.

She breathed a sigh of release when Ashlyn just smiled at her.

“You’re not mad?” she asked sheepishly.

Ashlyn laughed. “I appreciate a woman who is so committed to work that she can stop in the middle of that. Besides, I did kind of ruin your prep session,” she shrugged, although her breathing was still heavy.

“Oh trust me,” said Ali as she approached Ashlyn with a sultry stare. “Give me a few minutes to write these notes and we can pick up exactly where we left of,” she said as she pressed a deep kiss onto Ashlyn’s pursed lips.

As Ali sauntered back over to the floor and grabbed a few more loose pages of paper, Ashlyn took in her every movement. She watched as Ali’s brow furrowed and perused pages of documents with complete focus and dedication. She watched as her long fingers wrapped around the pen that she picked up and frantically began writing notes with. She heard her sigh and place the pen between her lips as she thought of the perfect words to say and the perfect order to say them in. She was so unlike anyone she had ever met and she simply couldn’t avert her eyes, or her hands.

Ashlyn got up and walked towards Ali, who didn’t even look up from her work, “What do you think you’re doing?” She asked as she kept writing notes.

“I know you said you needed a few minutes before we continued, but you didn’t say anything about needing time until I continued. Can’t I help my girlfriend out?” Ashlyn replied with a suggestive grin.  


“Oh I’m your girlfriend now?” she said with a sly grin. They both knew they were exclusive, but it was the first time either one of them said it. In typical Ashlyn fashion she told her instead of asking her, but that’s what Ali found sexiest about her. She knew what she wanted and she wouldn’t take no for an answer.  


“I suppose I’m okay with that,” Ali said with a wink.  


“Good,” replied Ash as she continued to make her way back around the desk.  


“Ash-“  


She was not going to let her protest, “You just keep doing what you’re doing, Alex. You take care of your client and I’ll take care of you.” She ran her hands over Ali’s shoulders and then down her blouse. Ali may have originally objected, but her low moan was encouraging Ashlyn to continue.


	14. The Trial

On her way into the courtroom the next day, Ali’s phone began to ring. She identified the caller and as guilt fell over her she quickly answered it. “Hey, Tim!” She tried her best to sound excited so she wouldn’t feel so guilty. “I’m so sorry I never got back to you about drinks a few weeks ago. Things have been crazy with this trial. I can’t wait for it to be over.”

Tim sighed on the other end. He was used to Ali getting caught up in her cases and disappearing. “It’s okay. How that case going?”

“I’m actually just heading into court now. Today might be our last time for witnesses and then Wednesday probably closing arguments. It’s been going well, but today I get to cross-examine the defense’s star witness.”

“And judging by how excited you sounded when you said that I’m guessing he’s about to become your star witness?”

“You bet,” she said with a smile.

“Well go get him, Ali,” he said with encouragement.

“Thanks! And Tim, I promise as soon as the trial wraps up I’m buying you as many rounds of drinks as you want. I can’t thank you enough for that last favor.” She couldn’t help but smile as thought about the many reasons she was thankful.

“About that, Ali,” he started to say before she cut him off.

“Shit, we’re starting up again. They need me in court! I have to go.”

“Ali, wait!”

But it was no use. She was being summoned by her associate who called out, “Hurry up, the Judge just got in!”

“Drinks on Thursday or Friday! I’ll call you!” With that she hung up the phone with a click.

They went through the formalities before the defense attorney began re-questioning his witness which was her client’s manager. He had begun testifying the day before, but it had gotten late so the judge requested they continue the following day. As the attorney wound down with his line of questioning Ali continued to pour through her notes making sure she had everything down. As she re-read her notes her mind flashed back to the night in her office when she had written them, the night when Ashlyn stopped in. As much as she wanted her thoughts to linger there, she knew she needed to focus.

She finally looked up when the Judge called out, “Your witness, Miss Krieger.”

Ali stood up and brushed her suit down to smooth out the wrinkles. She began her questions casually, feeding him softball questions and easing him into a sense of security. The defense attorney fidgeted in his seat as he wondered what she was really up to.

“So, my client was really doing a poor job as your performance reviews indicated, correct?”

“Yes,” he replied, a bit confused, but still confident.

“And how many meetings did you have with Mr. Sermani to discuss these issues?”

“We had three different meetings.”

“And can you please tell the jury the dates of those meetings, just so we can set the timeline right.”

“Of course,” he said, falling victim to Ali’s charming smile. He smiled as well before answering, “We had one at the end of every quarter, so June 29th, September 31st and right before the holidays, I believe December 21st.”

“And is it customary to have so many progress reports.”

“Well given the nature of the situation, yes.”

“I’m sorry,” replied Ali as she turned and faced him again. “What situation?”

“Well with what happened with the whole, whistle-blowing situation. We needed to make sure he was getting the proper mentoring and I made sure I was checking in on him.”

“Can you tell me those dates again please?”

“Of course dear.” Ali shuddered when he called her “dear”, but he was falling right into her trap. “June 29th, September 31st and December 21st.”

“And you’re sure of those dates?” This time she looked directly at him, into his eyes.

He was unsure why he needed to repeat them again, but he replied confidently, “Yes I am sure of them.”

“I find that a bit odd.” She turned on her heels and walked over to her bench, grabbing the sheet of paper that her associate held out for her.

“Can you please tell me what that is?”

“That looks like a hotel receipt,” he said indifferently.

“And is that your name on the receipt?”

“Yes it is,” he said, this time a bit uneasy.

“And the date range on this receipt? Loud enough for the jury please,” noting that his voice had become quieter and much less confident.

“June 28-30th,” he said, barely audible enough for the jury.

“So can you do me a favor because I do not quite understand something? How could you be at this hotel, in Seattle I might add, when you just told us that you were giving my client his performance review?”

“I, uh, I,” he shot a nervous glance to the defense attorney who was fuming.

“Objection your Honor!” he yelled, his chair scraping against the floor as he backed out of it so quickly.

“Under what grounds?” asked the Judge over the brim of his glasses.

“Badgering the witness,” he growled. It was useless, but he needed to try.

“Overruled. Let’s see what Miss Krieger has here. You may continue,” he said motioning with his hand.

Ali took a deep breath and looked at the jury this time while she re-asked her question. She was on the attack and adrenaline was pumping through her veins. “So can you please tell us how could you be at this hotel, in Seattle, when you just told us that you were giving my client his performance review?”

He looked to his attorney who simply shrugged. Giving up, he sighed, “I’m not sure. Maybe I had the date wrong,” he offered meagerly.

He looked defeated, but Ali wasn’t through with him yet. He was dazed, but she needed to knock him out to win this thing. “Did your wife know you were seeing your mistress in Seattle?”

The courtroom let out an audible gasp.

“OBJECTION! RELEVANCE YOUR HONOR!” screamed all three defense attorneys.

“Overruled, but noted. Get to the point Miss Krieger.”

“Very well, your Honor,” replied with a curt nod. She turned back to her victim, “Did your wife know Mr. Fresniak?”

“No. She found a receipt, but I told her it was supposed to be for a business meeting that got cancelled.”

Ali but he head back, “Ohhh, I see. So you needed an alibi for your wife and the company needed my client gone. I see how this worked out.”

“No, that’s, no that’s not what happened!” he said argumentatively.

“Well when we called that hotel, we were able to gain security footage showing you entering and leaving! Care to explain that?” Her voice escalated to its loudest point. She was on a high and feeling invincible.

“I can’t.”

“Well Mr. Fresniak I see this going two ways. Your wife is sitting over there, I actually invited her,” she paused and watched him frantically search the room and then turn white when he made eye contact with her. He shrunk down in his seat completely defeated. “So now that your wife knows the truth and you may very well lose your marriage, would you also like to go to jail?” Her tone was serious and unwavering. She had no time for cheaters or liars and this man was certainly both.

“What?” he asked. He sat up in his seat upon realization that this could in fact get worse for him.

“If you’d like you can recant your earlier statements. If not, this bailiff here is going to arrest you for perjury.”

The man looked on the verge of tears as the blood drained from his face. The Judge caught onto this and quickly called a halt to the proceedings. “Enough. Counselors I would like to see you both up here, NOW!” He added the last bit with every ounce of authority he had.

The defense attorney approached the bench with his hands in the air to signal that he had no idea his witness was lying. Judging by the look on his face, he really didn’t.

“I don’t want to hear it,” snarled the Judge. “Now Mr. Crugg, based on everything I’ve just heard, quite honestly I’d like to throw you, your team, your client and you witness in jail, but I am going to refrain from doing that. But you have one hour to reach a plea deal with Miss Krieger and her client. I will not allow you to continue making a mockery of my Courtroom.”

He wanted to fight it, but Crugg lowered his head. He knew they had been beaten and he most certainly did not want to end up in jail. As they turned to leave the bench the Judge added, “And make it a generous offer. Don’t waste this lovely young lady’s time.”  


An hour later, Ali left the conference room with a fist pump. They had settled for $25 million, almost ¾ of the original lawsuit ask. Her client was thrilled, Parker was ecstatic and Ali felt like she was on cloud nine. This was the most lucrative case of her career and she didn’t think she could feel any higher, until she saw Ashlyn leaning against a light post outside of the Courthouse, dressed in grey, ripped skinny jeans and red flannel with her hair hanging down past her shoulders and a backwards black snap-back.  


She took a sharp intake of air. It reminded her of the night they first met when she was wearing a similar thing and it also made her think how far they had come. Here Ashlyn was waiting for her after trial, for who knows how long, arms folded and a giant smile plastered across her face.  


“What are you doing here?” asked Ali with a note of surprise. She had told Ashlyn she would call her after she got out that night.  


Ashlyn wrapped her arms around Ali, lifted her in the air and squeezed her tightly. She set her down grabbed her face and pulled her into a deep kiss. Ali smiled through the kiss and then briefly pushed back. “What’s gotten in to you?” said Ali with a laugh as she wiped her bottom lip. It stung from Ashlyn biting it.  


“Well I saw how excited you were about this witness, so I took a day off and came to watch you.”  


Ali’s face dropped. “You were there in court? All day?” Ashlyn’s sexy grin was all it took for Ali to know she had been there, all day. She cozied up into her side, “Well what did you think?” she said with a wandering hand.  


“I think we need to get out of public,” Ashlyn hissed, “Now.” She couldn’t explain the intense urges that were pulsing through her body. She almost couldn’t bear to stay in the courtroom as her girlfriend ripped the witness apart because she was so turned on.  


“Your place is closer,” she said and she grabbed Ashlyn’s hand, dragging her towards the car.  


Ashlyn whipped into the driveway, clearly ignoring the rule that they would be more cautious drivers, not that either of them cared at the moment. She quickly unlocked the door and then threw her keys roughly on the counter. They were locked in a deep kiss when Ashlyn broke away briefly. “Hold on. I have to do something quick. I’ll be right back,” she said with a smirk.  


Ali wanted to grab her and pull her back, but she felt that Ashlyn was up to something. And she was right. A few minutes, long minutes, later, Ashlyn stepped back into the room, dressed in her military combat uniform. Ali’s jaw almost hit the floor as she took in the sight, noticing how her dog tag hung right between her breasts. She could have torn her body apart with her eyes all night, but couldn’t control herself anymore. As hot as Ashlyn was in her uniform, Ali needed it off.


	15. The Truth

The next day after work, Ali headed to the bar. Someone held the door open for her was she wisped by them.  


“Hey stranger!” called a voice from the other side of the room. It was accompanied by a wave.  


“Hey Tim!” she called and excitedly waved back. He had saved her a seat at the bar so she wove through the crowd. After a big hug, she settled in next to him. He had already ordered her favorite, Vodka Cranberry so she picked it up and took a sip.  


“So how was the big case? I’m guessing it went well or your probably wouldn’t be here right?” he said with a confident grin. He knew his friend very well.  


Ali couldn’t contain her smile or her excitement. She unleashed her memory and the events of the past few days came spilling out. From the trial prep to the witnesses to the look on her opponents face when the Judge told him to make the deal generous, she spared no detail. Tim listened intently, genuinely excited about her happiness. After she finished he told her some stories from the office that got her worked up in a fit of laughter. She never ceased to be amazed at the stories Tim told about the L.A. criminals. Who knew people could be that stupid?  


Finally, the conversation about work died down. Throughout the entire conversation he noticed that her smile never faded. Something was different about his friend. She was glowing. “So who’s the girl that’s got you looking so radiant these days?” he teased.  


Ali shot him a look, but knew she had been caught red handed so she decided to dish. “She’s amazing. I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s smart, super sexy and just carefree. I’ve never been with someone so fun-loving and I can’t help but smile when I’m with her. I just,” she paused and thought some more about Ashlyn. “I really like her and can see this going somewhere.”  


“Do you loooveee her,” he teased again, this time bumping her arm with his elbow.  


“No, I, I,” she stopped. Thinking about it, maybe she did. Maybe she was falling in love with her. Why else couldn’t she answer the question effortlessly? “I don’t know. It’s still early,” she added.  


Tim smiled. He was glad Ali was finally happy again. “Well how’d you two meet? What’s her name?”  


She thought back on their meeting and smiled. Though it hadn’t gotten off to the best start, she was glad things worked out the way they did. “Well I actually met her at the bar one night and she spilled her drink on me and then when I worked out at the gym the next day, she was there. I think I was on the phone with you actually!” She let out a laugh thinking about how crazy it had all went down.  


Her statement sparked Tim’s memory. “Oh that reminds me, Ali. I needed to talk to you about that favor. That girl you wanted me to look up? Ashlyn I think the name was? It was actually pretty easy to find her. She was in our system. A year back she killed someone, a man named Carlos Rodriguez. Shot him, with a gun. The files were pretty thin, but from what I could tell it was a disagreement at a party and he was unarmed. There was booze involved and there were a lot of witnesses who changed their stories. It looks like it was all covered up by the army.” He took another sip of his beer and looked up at the TV hanging above the bar. Highlights from the Clippers game was on and her seemed more interested in that than the story. “Apparently she was pretty high ranking and they didn’t want it all getting out. She was never charged, just arrested and then all of the charges were dropped. So whatever case you needed her for, she might not be the most reliable witness. Just a heads up to be careful with her,” he added nonchalantly. “Anyways, sorry to interrupt. What’s your new girl’s name?” he asked with an honest desire.

Ali’s face went white. She couldn’t believe what Tim had just told her. She couldn’t believe that she had been so stupid.  


“Come on, what’s her name, Ali?” he asked again as he looked over at his friend the first time since telling his story. Instantly he knew the answer.  


“Her name is Ashlyn Harris,” Ali exasperatedly whispered.


	16. The Truth Hurts

The life in Ali’s eyes left all at once, Tim witnessed it happen. Her glass fell from her hand and shattered on the floor around her. She pushed her barstool away from the bar and it made a shriek as it dragged across the floor. This of course brought even more attention to the well dressed, composed woman who was having a meltdown in public. “  


Ali come back here!” screamed Tim as he watched her flee from the bar. “Ali!”  


It was no use. Ali wasn’t living in reality at the moment. She had become lost in her own world of hurt, confusion and angst. How could she had let Ashlyn fool her this whole time? How hadn’t she caught on? This woman was a MURDERER and just moments before she had been telling Tim how she was the sweetest person she had ever met. Sure she knew there were secrets and things from overseas that Ashlyn had never told her, but this? This was completely different. It was on a whole other level and Ali didn’t even know how to process it. She had let this woman in. She had told spilled her own secrets and made herself vulnerable all over again. There was a pain in her heart, assuredly the feeling of her heart breaking into a million pieces. How did she get into this mess? She had set herself up to be hurt after vowing never to again. How could she have fallen in love with someone that was capable of that? Oh my god, she realized, I really am in love. Or was. She felt her phone vibrating. It was Tim and she just pressed ignore. There was no way she wanted to talk to him, or anyone for that matter. No, it was time to burrow back into the cave that was her dark condo and wait for this all to pass. To wait out the pain and the heartbreak once again.  


Ali drove straight home, trying her best to make out the road through her constant stream of tears. Her vision was blurry as she swerved in and out of cars, with much less caution than usual. She ignored the calls from Tim and a “Hey beautiful” and “I’m thinking about you” texts from Ashlyn. For the first time since meeting Ashlyn, she hadn’t smiled when she read her messages. There was no way she could get over what she had done. Part of her wanted to know specifics and find out exactly what happened, but the other part didn’t want to because she could actually picture Ashlyn doing it. She would be able to picture exactly how the argument started and when Ashlyn decided to pick up a gun and shoot the man. She would be able to picture how she held it and the look on her face when she fired it. No. She never wanted to find out the details. Nothing could explain this away.  


Once home, Ali closed the blinds, switched her phone off and curled straight into bed, tears streaming down her face. She thought she heard knocking on her door in the middle of the night, but wasn’t going to budge from the safety and warmth of her covers. She didn’t know if she was ever going to come out from them.  


The night dragged on and at 6am Ali heard her alarm clock go off. She hadn’t sleep for more than an hour and she groaned as it continued to shrill. For the first time, she switched on her phone. There was a plethora of messages and calls from both Tim and Ashlyn, as well as Whit and Meg. Of course Tim had called Whit and then Whit obviously called Megan. She didn’t want to deal with anyone of them right then. She clicked through her phone until she found the one person she needed to talk to and pressed send.  


A voice picked up on the other end, “Hey Ali,” said a groggy Parker. “What’s up?”  


“I’m not feeling well so I won’t be able to make it in today,” was all she said. Her throat was sore from crying all night so she didn’t even have to fake it.  


“Yeah you don’t sound too good. Hey you put in a lot of work on that case so take some time to yourself and get better. Do you need anything from me?”  


Yeah a girlfriend who isn’t a murderer, she thought, before simply saying, “I’m all set. Thanks though.”  


She hung up and rolled back over onto her back. Now that she had taken off of work, there was only one thing left to do, try and get some sleep. She got up and made her way to the kitchen where there was a cabinet with medicine in it. She was pretty sure there was a bottle of sleeping pills that would help her get some sleep. On her way there, she saw a white piece of paper lying in the middle of the hallway. Confused, she picked it up and saw Tim’s handwriting. He had shown up the prior night to check on her when her phone had been turned off and asked her to please call him whenever she was ready to talk. It was a sweet gesture, but she was definitely not ready to talk. She grabbed the bottle from the kitchen and washed three pills down with a small glass of water before turning and making her way back towards the bedroom. The prescription only called for one or two, but she wanted to sleep for as long as possible. She made a quick stop at the bathroom after realizing that she was still wearing her work clothes from the night before. She threw them in the hamper before settling into a comfy pair of shorts and a loose white t-shirt. Screw dry cleaning, she thought. Back in the bedroom she slowly crawled into bed and enshrined herself in the blankets again. They were still warm and within twenty minutes she was fast asleep.


	17. The Dilemma

Ashlyn paced back and forth across her living room floor. Ali hadn’t answered her calls or texts for days and she had no idea why. She knew she was okay, because she had been by her condo several times and could hear her moving about inside, but she didn’t know what had happened. Ashlyn had sat for hours and hours outside of Ali’s door waiting for her to open it or even just to tell her to go away. She would have even settled for hearing Ali’s voice yell at her. That’s how much she missed her. And the worst part of it all was that she didn’t know what was wrong all she knew was that something was wrong. Countless hours were spent thinking back through everything, their nights together, their talks, even work. Try as she might Ashlyn couldn’t figure out what she may have done or what Ali thought she did to just simply cut her out without so much as an explanation.  


When she had woken up this morning to no calls or texts back from Ali, she knew it was time to take more drastic action. In her phone Ash located Whit’s number, clicking send after a deep breath. If anyone would know what was going on it would be Whit. If not, her next option was Meg.  


“Hello?”  


Ashlyn could tell right away that it was Whit. “Hey, Whit. It’s Ashlyn. I really need to talk to you so please don’t hang up!” She wanted to get her words in quickly. Who knows what Ali had told her already.  


There was a brief pause on the other end before Whit replied. “What do you need?”  


Ash released the breath she had been holding in and sat down on the couch with a thud. “I need to know what’s going on. Ali just fell of the face of the earth without so much as a reason, let alone a goodbye. Am I the only one that doesn’t know what’s going on? Because I’m going crazy over here.”  


Whit sighed again. In truth she didn’t really know what was going on and she especially didn’t feel that it was her place to get involved. However, she hated seeing Ali so upset and maybe Ashlyn would be able to mend things are put her friend back together. “To be honest, I don’t exactly know what’s going on either Ash. She’s upset. Like really upset. She hasn’t been to work or even left her condo for three days. I’m pretty sure the only reason she let me in is because she ran out of alcohol.” Whit said the last part with a bit of a laugh, but quickly checked herself. This was no time to joke around.  


“What is she upset about? What did I do? I’m begging you, Whit. Please.”  


Whit felt for her, but there wasn’t much else she could do. Ali didn’t want to see Ashlyn and hadn’t even told Whit what she did. “Listen, all I know is that she told me her friend Tim, he’s a cop and he, well,” she paused and fidgeted on the other end of the line. How did you tell someone their girlfriend knows they have a history with the law? Quickly, she decided. “Her friend Tim is a cop and he told her some things about you that he found out. I don’t know what it is, but-“  


Whit didn’t get the chance to finish because Ash already knew exactly what had happened. She threw on a pair of shoes and jumped into her Jeep. This had been a conversation that they needed to have, but she honestly didn’t think they would be having it so soon. For the last week she had been racking her brain trying to figure out how to approach the subject. But there really was no easy way to tell someone you love that you killed someone.


	18. The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth

It was noon when Ali heard a knock on her door. This time it wasn’t a polite knock, it was more of a loud banging sort. She was sprawled out on the sectional sofa in three quarter length leggings and a baggy sweatshirt sipping on a beer and watching re-runs of Cops. She hadn’t showered in three days and her hair was just thrown up in an oily, messy mass. She looked at the cluttered mess scattered around her living room and kitchen. There was no way she was going to open up the door no matter who it was. She turned the volume down and planned to simply pretend she was out. Not that it really mattered anyways.  


“Alex, open the damn door!”  


She could easily tell that it was Ashlyn, the person she least wanted to speak to at the moment. She knew a talk would eventually need to be had so she could tell her to piss off, but she needed more time to distance herself.  


Three more loud bangs rained down on the door. “Ali, open up! Whatever Tim told you, he has no idea what he’s talking about!”  


She whipped her head around and looked towards the door. How did she know that Tim had told her anything? “Damn it Whit!” she muttered under her breath. Although she wanted to open the door and hear it straight from Ashlyn she used every ounce of willpower not to open the door. Because once the door was opened and the truth came out, all that was left was to accept it and move on.  


She turned her attention back towards the TV just as the officers were about to bring in the bad guy. This was her favorite part. Just then she heard the door open in the hallway. Startled, she turned around to see Ashlyn standing in the hallway with her hands raised, her spare key in the left one.  


“Alex, I just need a minute,” was all she said as she took a few steps closer.  


“Get out,” said Ali. Her voice wavered a bit.  


“Ali please.” Ashlyn’s eyes were pleading with her.  


It was impossible to look at Ashlyn and not feel something so she turned her eyes away. “I said get out!” This time her voice was louder and a bit more confident.  


It caught Ashlyn off guard. She didn’t like being yelled at and quite frankly wasn’t used to this from Ali. “Damn it will you just listen to me?” she yelled back.  


Ali snapped. “Or what? Are you going to kill too? Am I going to be your next Carlos Rodriguez? Huh?” She was now screaming and there was no quiver in her voice as she unleashed her true thoughts.  


Ashlyn stepped back. Ali’s words struck her like a dagger in the heart. Did she honestly think that little of her? Did Ali really fear that she would hurt her? If so, maybe she wasn’t the woman she thought she was. Maybe she made a mistake coming here. She took a step back and began to retreat down the hallway.  


Ali could tell that Ashlyn was hurt, but she didn’t care at the moment. All of her pent up thoughts and anger from the last three days was coming out and there was no stopping it now. “Is that how you’re going to play it? As soon as the truth comes out you’re going to bail? Figures.” She turned and looked away, not able to even make eye contact with the woman she thought she had fallen in love with.  


Her words fueled Ashlyn who came storming into the room in a rage of fury. “What the hell do you think happened? What do you think the truth even is? Huh? Because I doubt your boyfriend Tim knows what happened that night!” She was spitting as the words flew out of her mouth.  


Ali back peddled, but only for a moment. She had thought she was in charge of the conversation, but the tables had quickly turned. It was time for a power move. “Well maybe if you were honest with me from the start, we wouldn’t be in this mess!” she screamed in a level of rage that she had never reached before. She felt hurt and worse, betrayed. How could Ashlyn do this to her? “Did you ever think about that? You could have told me this before I fell for you! I told you things about me and my family, but you kept this from me. Why couldn’t you just be honest!?”  


Ashlyn tried to keep it down, but she couldn’t. The truth was coming up whether she wanted it to or not. “You don’t think I wanted to? You really think I wanted to keep these secrets and that I’m some sort of psychopath?” Ali’s words had cut her deep. She could see the anger flaring in her eyes. “How do you tell the woman you love that you came back from Iraq only to kill your best friend who saved your life over there? Huh? How would you have liked me to approach that conversation!” She watched as a look of shock came across Ali’s face as she thought about what she have said, but wasn’t going to let back. “Oh wow? You really thought I was some heartless killer that covered up a murder. Do you really think that low of me?” Ashlyn scoffed. She couldn’t believe this was happening.  


“I don’t know how you can just kill someone like that and act like nothing even happened!”  


“You think I act like nothing happens? You have no idea how this eats at my insides every single day of my life. You have no idea how it makes me feel And you didn’t even give me a chance to explain myself!” She couldn’t believe Ali was still attacking her.  


“Ashlyn you killed a man! You can’t just explain that away! You murdered someone!”  


Ashlyn lost it. Tears were streaming down her face and she unleased more venom. “What the hell do you think I did in Iraq, Alex? Are you that stupid? You think they sent me over there to holds hands with people? No! I was there with a job to do and my job meant that thirteen other people didn’t get to go home because of me. So you’re right. I am a murderer in so many different ways. And that shit eats at me every single day of my life. I can’t sleep at night because their faces haunt me. Even the terrorists because you know, they had kids and wives too that are missing them. So don’t you dare sit there and pretend that you didn’t know that I had this side of me. Maybe you tried to block it out of your mind because I looked hot in a uniform, but deep down you knew. Don’t act like Rodriguez changes anything.” She had quieted down at the end, but mostly because she wasn’t feeling angry anymore, she was simply just broken.  


Ali’s eyes diverted to the floor. She didn’t know what to think or what to say. Why couldn’t Ashlyn have just been honest with her? “I, well,”  


“You know what, Alex? You ever think this is why I didn’t tell you?” Her voice calmed a bit, but there was still spite behind it. “Why wouldn’t you just let me explain myself instead of jumping to these wild assumptions?”  


Ashlyn had her on that one. “I don’t know. Do you want to tell me what happened?”  


“I think it’s too late for that,” said Ashlyn as she turned to leave.  


“Ashlyn, please,” Ali reached out her arm, but Ashlyn pulled away.  


“I’ll tell you this so you know all the facts, but them I’m out, Alex. Carols Rodriguez saved my life in Iraq. We were under heavy fire and I took a bullet. It mostly caught my bullet, but I was stunned. He dragged me a quarter mile to safety and sat with me until help came. We lost five of our team that day, but he saved me.”  


Ali could see that Ashlyn’s eyes had become glassed over. She had never told anyone this and wasn’t even really sure what to say. Her voice was choked up as she continued.  


“We came home and things were okay. I got close with his family, he had a wife and a beautiful little girl. Things happened over there though; things that we can’t explain because they would sound so crazy. Rodriguez didn’t adjust back to life. He couldn’t handle it. One night I got a call from his wife. She was screaming and crying and I could hear Carlos in the background yelling and hitting things. He was suffering from PTSD and depression and he just snapped. He grabbed a gun and came at his wife. She ran, locked herself in the bathroom and called me. When I got there, I approached him and tried to talk him down. It worked for a bit, but when I tried to take his gun from him, he lost it. He came after me after I disarmed him with a Sabre they had hanging on the wall. He started running at me and I didn’t, I didn’t know what to do. So I did was I was trained to do and I took down the threat. The army took care of me and covered it up because that was before they were really ready to accept that PTSD was an issue. They swept it under the rug and that was that. Except I have to live with the fact that I killed my best friend. I killed him. I did.” She began to sob as she kept repeating the words. “I killed him.”  


Ali was shocked. She felt so many emotions at once. Anger and rage had turned into guilt and sympathy. Ashlyn was right to be angry that she didn’t let her explain and Ali had been naïve to think Ashlyn was capable of killing in cold blood. How had she been so wrong about all of this?  


She reached her hand out, and softly touch Ashlyn’s arm. She waited for her reaction and when Ashlyn didn’t pull away, Ali wrapped her arms around her tightly. “Come here, baby,” she cooed as Ash set her head on Ali’s chest. “I got you now. I promise.”  


They stayed in that position for hours. Ali just held Ashlyn as she went from crying to silence and back to crying. Ali wasn’t sure what to say, so she said nothing.  


Truthfully, her silent resolve was exactly what Ashlyn needed at the moment. She had finally come clean. It wasn’t in the way she had hoped, but it was out there. Now that Ali knew everything, it was up to her to decide if she could still love her. The fact that she hadn’t ran away when Ashlyn blurted out the truth spoke measures, but she still couldn’t be sure that after Ali had time to analyze everything, that she would still be there in the morning.


	19. The Call

Ali held Ashlyn until she fell sound asleep in her arms. Finally, she had cried herself out and had drifted off to sleep. The sniffles and soft wails had ceased, and she was no longer whispering “I killed him” repeatedly. Her chest was rising and falling in a calm, rhythmic motion; in sharp contrast to how it had been a few hours ago. Ali scooted off the couch out from underneath her and slipped a pillow under her head. Thankfully, Ash didn’t stir and Ali gently laid a fleece blanket over her, making sure to tuck her toes into it. Ashlyn hated when her toes were exposed.

She couldn’t even imagine going through what Ashlyn had. More importantly, she couldn’t believe that she had made her relive it due to her mistrust. The woman that she cared so much about had literally hit her breaking point thanks to her speculative nature. She had been so sure that Ashlyn was hiding things from her, but in reality, Ash was trying to hide things from herself. To go on and live every day with the secrets she was forced to keep must have been nearly impossible and quite frankly emotionally draining. How was she able to appear so carefree and happy while she was keeping these demons at bay? Before this, Ali would have told anyone that Ashlyn was the happiest person she ever knew and she would have meant it wholeheartedly. My how things had changed so quickly.

With a gentle kiss on Ashlyn’s forehead, she left the living room and headed to the bedroom to grab her phone. As was the usual for the past few days, it was loaded with calls and texts from her friends, work and of course Ash. She scrolled through the text messages, missed calls and voicemails. One voicemail caught her eye as she flipped through. It was from Whit from a couple hours ago.

“Hey just an FYI, Ashlyn may or may not have called me and then hung up as soon as I mentioned Tim. Also, she may or may not be on her way to your house and I may or may not have mentioned where your spare key was once. Sorry! Call me if you need. You know I’m always here no matter what.”

Well that would have been nice to get that before Ashlyn showed up, thought Ali as she deleted the message. Of course she couldn’t blame Whit. Her phone had been locked away for the better part of three days and she was the only one to blame for that.

Ali quickly changed out of the tear soaked clothes that she had been wearing. She took a quick shower, her first one in three days and let everything stew for a bit. Once out, she exchanged one set of sweats for another. She was in no mood to spend time on her appearance even though Ashlyn was with her. Besides, after the conversation from that night she figured they had already seen each other at their worst. She clicked redial and waited for Whit to pick up.

“Hey Ali!” she tried to sound excited, but Ali could tell she wasn’t actually expecting her to call.

“Hey Whit. Thanks for the heads up on Ashlyn.”

“Did she show up?” she pried.

“Oh you could say that,” mumbled Ali as she took a seat on the edge of her bed.

“And?” Whit paused waiting for her response. It was a longer one than anticipated, but she waited it out.

“We had a talk. A pretty long and emotional talk. Well it more yelling and screaming than talking,” she added as she remembered that there was in fact very little talking. Just lots of yelling and crying.

“Oh, Ali I’m so sorry. I obviously didn’t know it was going to end up like that. So she just left after you guys fought?” Whit assumed.

“No, she’s actually still here. She fell asleep on the couch so I let her lay there. I didn’t know what else to do.”

She could hear Whit’s confused gasp on the other end of the line. Ali was not one to go through an ordeal like this and have it end, nicely so to speak. The girls before and after Lexi only ever got one chance and once they blew it they were done for. “She’s, she’s there still? Are you sure you’re up for all of this?”

“Yeah, Whit. I couldn’t make her leave after all that. I can’t even explain what happened and what she’s been through and I’m sure there’s a lot more still to come. She’s broken and needs me.”

There was a quiet laugh on the other end. “Wow look at you. Who would have known that you’d be the one saving her now and not the other way around?”

“What do you mean?” asked Ali, a bit aggravated that her friend thought she needed “saving.”

Whit paused. Their group of friends had never told her this, but it was time someone did. “Ali, do you remember after you broke up with Lexi and you wouldn’t talk to any of us, your friends, for almost a month? And it took you how long to start seriously talking to someone else after that?”  
“Yes,” she muttered in response. She wondered what Whit was getting at.

“Well Lexi broke you, Ali. She ripped your heart out, she abandoned you and we could all tell that you were damaged. You were less trusting of people, less happy at the little things that would make you smile before. You weren’t yourself anymore.”

“And?” she said defensively.

“Well you needed someone to fix you. You needed someone to put those pieces back together and then Ash came around. And you were happy again. You were always smiling and you were finally you again. We all noticed it. She saved you Ali, and now it’s your turn to return the favor.”

“I know.” Ali’s voice trailed off.

That was not good enough assurance for her friend. “Whatever happened to her, whatever happened between you two, you need to be there for her one hundred percent or you need to get out now. There can’t be a back and forth pull. Neither of you can take that and neither of you deserve that. I’m not asking you to tell me the details, I just need you to promise me that you can handle this? Promise that you can handle everything you learned today.”

“I get it, Whit. I’m in. I’m in one hundred and ten percent. I’m not going anywhere. I can’t do that to her. I love her.” Ali finally admitted it. Maybe it had taken this big mess for her to realize that, but the way she felt about Ashlyn hadn’t changed. It had only grown stronger through it all. And that, was love.

“Alright, good. I’ve got to get going, but call me if either of you need anything, okay? Love you girl!”

“Okay. Thanks, Whit. Love you too.”

Ali hung up and sat there for a few moments thinking through everything Whit had said. Her advice was spot on. Ali couldn’t linger or weigh her options. She needed to commit whole heartedly. It terrified her and after Lexi she never thought she would be able to bring herself to love unconditionally like that ever again. Only after thinking she had lost Ashlyn did she realized how much she cared for her. She was the complete opposite of Lexi and every other girl she had ever dated for that matter, but maybe that’s what made her special. That’s what made it worth sticking around and fighting for. Now she just needed to figure out how to smooth things over, get her back and tell her she loved her.

A text message from Parker popped up so she clicked on it in an attempt at procrastination. She read it over and was just about to click through to her work email when she heard slight movement behind her.

It was Ashlyn, who whispered in a hushed voice, “I love you too, Alex.”


	20. The Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of the comments everyone! I appreciate that you all take the time to read my story and am so glad that you're enjoying it! It definitely keeps me motivated to keep churning out more chapters :)
> 
> This is the only update for today, but there should be another one tomorrow night sometime! Enjoy :)

Ali was caught off guard as Ashlyn approached the bed where she was sitting. Her eyes were red and swollen from hours of crying and wisps of hair stuck out from her bun every which way, but Ali couldn’t deny the natural beauty that she was still radiating.  


“Did you hear that entire conversation?” Ali asked nervously.  


“Enough of it,” she replied as she bent down on her knees before Ali, shifting her weight back on her heels. “Enough of it to be reminded of how absolutely amazing you are.” A small tear escaped from the corner of her eye. “I’m so sorry I kept the truth from you-“  


Ali cut her off. She ran her hand along Ashlyn’s cheek, wiping the stray tear. “Ash, stop.” She paused and looked deep into Ashlyn’s eyes, into her soul. Tucking a wisp of blonde hair behind her ear, she continued. “You have nothing to apologize for. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions and I shouldn’t have just shut you out like that.”  


Ashlyn fidgeted as Ali continued on.  


“You were right to be angry with me in there earlier. I said some awful things without knowing the facts. I’m so sorry.”  


Ashlyn sat forward on her knees, closing the distance between their faces. “And I should have been honest with you. It’s not that I didn’t trust you, I just,” she hesitated to gather her thoughts. “I just didn’t know how to tell you. I’ve tried to bury everything so deep for so long and it’s taken a toll on me.”  


“I’ve noticed,” Ali said with a slight smile. “And I just want you to know that you can share anything with me. Anything at all. I don’t care how deep or gruesome or terrible you think it is.” She took Ashlyn’s face in her hands, feeling the warmth radiating from her skin. “You’re not alone in this anymore, Ash. You don’t need to share this burden alone. I promise.”  


A small smile crept across Ashlyn’s face as she looked into Ali’s deep brown eyes. There were red from crying as well, but she couldn’t help but feel comforted as she locked eyes. This woman had just learned the deepest of her secrets and was asking for more. She was asking to take on more of her burden. “Anything?” she questioned quietly, wanting to be reassured once more.  


“Absolutely anything,” Ali said as she lifted off the bed and planted a kiss on Ashlyn’s salty cheek. “I promise.”  


Ashlyn smiled, feeling the comfort of her girlfriend’s words. For the first time she honestly felt like the weight of the world was no longer solely on her shoulders. Although the weight of her sins still weighed heavy on her, it was easier knowing there was someone to share the load. She stood up and nudged Ali with her elbow. “I need to get cleaned up.” She strode across the bedroom and into the on suite bathroom.  


Ali could hear the water begin running as Ashlyn poked her head out of the bathroom, “Care to join me?”  


Eagerly, Ali stood up from the end of the bed. Although she had just taken a shower, this one was going to be of a different nature. She quickly dropped her clothes on the floor and then sauntered into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her to keep the steam in.  


Lifting her eyes from the floor, she almost let out a gasp as she saw Ashlyn standing before her with a pile of clothes at her feet. Ali took in the sight before her, Ashlyn’s tanned, muscular frame riddled with tattoos that spelled out the history of her life. She took a step towards her and with her fingers traced the flowers from her side up to the quote that sprawled across her broad, freckled shoulders.  


Ashlyn let out a small sigh as the hair on her arm began to stand up and Ali’s touch. She knew she was in deep when just a simple touch could set her off so easily. She grabbed Ali’s hand and pulled her gently into the shower after her, making sure to shield her body from the scalding water until she was able to adjust. They stood there together, wrapped in an embrace surrounded by silence, except for the water. It had been three days since they had felt each other’s touch and were simply content to allow their bodies to press together in the steaming shower.  


Ali broke the silence, muttering, “I missed you,” before pulling Ashlyn in for a deep kiss. Invigorated, Ashlyn pushed Ali against the wall of the shower and pinned her hands above her head. Ali let out a whimper as the cold wall touched up against her skin, but her attention was quickly diverted when Ashlyn’s warm body pressed into hers. She hungrily kissed Ali’s lips, devouring them in a sense of extreme desire. Keeping Ali’s hands pinned, Ashlyn made her way to her neck with deep kisses and the occasional bite, trailing down to her perky nipples. She interchanged between kissing and nibbling them, knowing full well that she was driving her wild.  


Ali wanted to rip her hands down and attack Ashlyn, but she had such a firm grip and for the moment being dominated was really turning her on.  


After a minute, Ash ran her kisses further down and finally released Ali’s hands to do so. Dropping to her knees, she laid gentle kisses between her breasts and down her flat, tanned stomach, to her navel. Glancing up, she realized that Ali was watching her intently so she shot her a wink that almost sent her over the edge. After a few teasing bites on Ali’s inner thigh, she thrust her hips forward and Ashlyn happily obliged to her request. Slipping her tongue into Ali’s folds, she let out a moan as she tasted how wet she was. Ali’s legs began shaking as Ashlyn took her into her mouth and flicked her tongue over her clit, while massaging her ass firmly in her hands. She continued to rhythmically work her tongue over Ali’s clit, picking up speed and apply more pressure as she felt Ali tighten up. She thrust her hips forward once again, this time as a scream escaped her lips, “Oh fuck Ash!”  


Ashlyn pulled away from the inside of Ali’s legs and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before standing up and leveling her eyes with Ali who was sporting a rather large grin.  


“Yeah I think you did miss me,” Ash added with a wink.  


Ali rolled her eyes, but silently agreed as she pressed her lips against Ashlyn’s. They exchanged a few lighter kisses before the water began to get cold.  


“I guess we can finish this in bed,” said Ali with a shrug. “I think we still have to see how much you missed me, right?”

Ashlyn happily turned the water off as she caught on to Ali’s suggestive comments. “I think you’re right,” she said as she reached underneath Ali’s legs lifted her off the ground so that Ali was straddling her waist. Ali wrapped her legs around Ashlyn and allowed herself to be carried, still soaking wet, into the bedroom. Tangled together, the two spilled onto the bed locked in a heated embrace.


	21. The Morning After

The next morning Ali opened her eyes as sunlight began to stream into the room. She was curled up next to Ashlyn, tucked into her side with Ashlyn’s arm wrapped tightly around her. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt this secure and nuzzled in closer to Ashlyn’s warmth, resting her head on her chest. Her heart had returned to normal after their night of sexual escapades and was beating in a slow, calm rhythm.  


Ashlyn stirred next to her and smiled when she realized that Ali was still tucked in her arms. Normally, Ali was a rough sleeper and would distance herself throughout the night so she wouldn’t kick her. Ash realized how tired she must have been to have staying cuddling close all night. She squeezed her tight and planted a kiss on her temple before pulling away so she could look into her eyes.  


“I guess we both missed each other,” she said with a grin, reminiscing about the night before and the many times they showed each other how much they had been missed.  


Ali smiled back as she started into Ashlyn’s glistening eyes. She peeled the sheets back and rolled over to take a sip of water from the glass next to her bed. She extended it to Ashlyn who propped herself up on her elbow and accepted the glass. With a few quick chugs she had downed the entire glass and handed it back to Ali, who was staring intently at her shoulder.  


“What’s on your mind, Alex?” she questioned. She knew her pondering look too well.  


Ali set the glass down and then turned back towards her. She ran her finger over a raised scar taking in its ridges intently. “Is that,” she paused not sure if she could continue before realizing that they had promised no more secrets. “Is that where you took the bullet in Iraq?”  


Ashlyn reached over and placed her hand on top of Ali’s, holding it tight to her. “Yes. It didn’t go in deep though because thankfully it caught my vest. A lot of people in my squad weren’t so that lucky that day.” Her voice trailed off as she flashed back to the day in the square. In the terms of full disclosure, she decided to share more than she originally would have liked. “My squad was assigned to a mission to clear the western segment of a town called Al Qaim. It’s where the U.S. thought foreign fighters were entering the country and we needed to do a weapons sweep of it so we could keep dangerous weapons out of our enemies’ hands. They had gotten quite a bit of evidence to substantiate it and shutting that import area down was critical to our success.”  


She took another deep breath to try to settle her heart beat which was starting to skyrocket.  


“As a Sergeant I was in charge of a squad of ten people and there were two other squads that were accompanying us. It was our second day and I led my squad into one of the sectors we had mapped out. We cleared the first few buildings with no issues. In fact, we didn’t even come across any resistance. Everyone seemed to be almost…helpful. They tried to lull us into a sense of false security, but we were still on high alert. A few streets in we came under heavy fire. Sudden gun fire erupted and men were dropping all around me. They had snipers on the roof tops and even a missile launcher. We had walked into an ambush, a massacre.”  


Her eyes went blank as she recalled the events, which she had tried to bury deep, in such detail. Ali’s eyes grew wide as she tried to comprehend everything that Ashlyn was explaining to her. She couldn’t imagine the fear that must have occupied her during such an ordeal.  


Ash continued after swallowing hard. “It was a bloodbath. I called for us to retreat, but caught this bullet,” she pointed to the scar, “and blacked out after a few minutes. I don’t remember much, but everything was a blur. Rodriguez was standing over me checking the wound one minute and then I remember waking up in a stranger’s house with him and a few others hovering over me. I would find out later that we were the only survivors. Out of three squads, four of us survived and only thanks to a few civilians that hid us in their basement while we radioed in for help. Can you imagine that? I am only alive because a few women, whose town we were occupying, risked their life to save me.”  


She shot a look at Ali through pooling eyes. Ali shook her head no in disbelief, but secretly thanked those women in her mind.  


“I lost a lot of good people that day and this is my reminder of that.” She traced the scar with her own fingers and sighed. “The rest of my reminders were locked deep away in my brain. Until now,” she added with a sigh.  


Ali sat up and pushed the hair out of Ashlyn’s face. “I’m sorry, Ash. I didn’t mean to push you on this. I can’t believe you went through all of that.” It was true, she couldn’t fathom it and she hated that she hurt so badly. “How long were you over there again?”  


“I did two, one year tours,” Ashlyn said matter of factly. “First was Al Qaim and then the second we were stationed closer to Baghdad. My second tour wasn’t quite as…eventful,” she remembered with a chuckle. “Everything was mostly secured by then and we were just there to keep things in line.”  


“That’s incredible. I don’t think I could ever be away from home for that long. There’s no way I could live without Chipotle for a year!” Ashlyn laughed at Ali’s naivety and she quickly backtracked. “Not that Chipotle was on your list of things to worry about.”  


“It’s okay, Alex. I know what you meant.” She smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek to reassure her.  


“What was the worst part about being over there?” Ali was glad Ash was finally opening up and wanted to give her an outlet to tell her the gory details she had kept locked away for so long.  


Ashlyn sighed and thought for a moment. “Honestly, there were few good things being over there. I was away from home and alone.” She paused and sat back against the pillows. Although Ali was there to comfort her, the softness and warmth of the pillows and blankets wrapped around her helped calm her as well. “I think the worst thing was being around all of the death and destruction. There was that constant fear that you were either going to be killed or have to kill someone yourself. The sound of gunfire was everywhere and when it wasn’t happening, it would be a car backfiring and you would think it was gunfire. There was no escaping it.” Her voice trailed off at the end as she waited for Ali’s response.  


“How do you do it? I mean I know they train you, but how do they do it? How can you just kill someone?” She was genuinely curious, but hoped she wasn’t pushing too far.  


Ashlyn didn’t want to continue, but appreciated Ali’s genuine interest in trying to get her to open up. No one had ever tried before and she did feel the weight slowly being lifted off of her shoulders. “It depends on the person or situation. Sometimes there’s a guy running at your squad with a bomb strapped to him and you can easily take him down. I never thought twice about those situations, and there were several of those. But then, I remember this one time there was a kid and his coat was bulging a bit. We had intelligence from our scout on the rooftop that he was carrying a bomb and it turns out he was. But still, he was maybe eleven years old and just doing what he was told. He came toward us and I just wanted to hang my head when the call came in. I didn’t think I would be able to do it, but I didn’t want to have to make anyone else in my squad take that shot. I waited until the last possible second, hoping and praying that he would just turn away and run home, but,” her voice quivered a bit, “but he didn’t and I couldn’t let him hurt anyone. That was the worst one for me. His face still haunts me some nights. He was just a boy…”  


Her tone had become much more serious as had her face. Ali wrapped her arms around Ashlyn’s back and scooted closer. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring all this back up. I didn’t mean to pry…” Once again she felt guilty.  


“No, it’s okay. It’s better to talk about it than keep it all inside. I appreciate that you’re willing to listen. It’s different with you, Alex. It doesn’t feel like you’re prying. Every time I share something with you, I don’t know, it’s weird…” Her voice became quieter as she searched for the right words. “It feels like every time I share something, we become closer. Almost like were being bound closer together. I don’t know if that make any sense but I feel safe with you, something that I’ve never felt before. When I look into your eyes, I’m home. You’re the most amazing, compassionate person I’ve ever met, Alex. Most people would have left by now.”  


Ali’s eyes welled up as Ashlyn poured her heart out to her. She knew exactly what she meant because in that moment, she had never felt closer to anyone in her entire life. She met Ashlyn’s eyes. “Well I told you I’m not going anywhere and I meant it. Ill always be your home. Besides, I kind of need to ask you for a favor.”  


“And what’s that?” replied Ash with a raised eyebrow to portray her slight skepticism.  


“Well it’s my father’s birthday next month,” she trailed off and waited for Ashlyn’s response, but none came so she continued. “So, I’m flying home for it. I may have mentioned last week to my brother that I was seeing someone and he blabbed to my mom. Sooo, I kind of am expected to show up with a date now.” She flashed Ashlyn a smile, hoping she would agree.  


“Oh and you’d like me to accompany you?” she questioned with a grin. She wanted Ali to say it.  


“Pretty please will you be my date?”  


She couldn’t deny Ali when she flashed her big brown puppy god eyes and stuck out her lip. They both knew she was wrapped around Ali’s finger, but she wanted to play it out a bit more. “Am I walking into some crazy family trap?” she asked with a laugh. It wouldn’t have been the first time.  


Ali laughed and shook her head. “No, my family actually gets along pretty well.”  


Ashlyn nodded. “Well then I guess I have nothing to worry about, right? I just have to convince your dad that I’m the perfect woman for you.”  


Ali erupted into a fit of giggles so Ash shot her a confused glare. “What?”  


“It’s not my dad you have to worry about. That would by my mother you have to win over.”  


Ashlyn rolled her eyes. “You know how good I am at charming woman, right? I mean I did woo you pretty easily. I bet it can’t be that hard.”  


“Yeah sure. Good luck with that,” she said with a wide grin.


	22. The Trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter for today! Let me know what you guys think. Trust me it's about to heat up soon over the next few chapters ;)

"You sure you’re okay?” questioned Ashlyn as she looked at Ali’s worried face with concern.  


“Yeah I will be fine,” she replied as she took another sip of water. “I just hope this Dramamine kicks in soon.”  


“You don’t look it.” She tried to hide the grin that was breaking across her face, but wasn’t able to sneak it by Ali who shot her a disgruntled look.  


“I just think it’s cute that you’re so terrified of flying,” she said with a soft smile that was meant to calm Ali, but simply irritated her more.  


“It’s not cute, Ash. I’ve always hated flying. I don’t understand how these planes can just stay in the sky. I think it’s weird that everyone isn’t more skeptical.”  


Ashlyn couldn’t help but laugh as Ali’s face wrinkled like a little kid on the verge of a temper tantrum. “Ali, I’ve made a living jumping out of planes. They don’t scare me.”  


“True,” huffed Ali as she turned her attention to what was happening outside on the tarmac.  


The baggage carriers had finished loading up the plane and we quickly pulling away. As the plane pushed back from the gate, Ali shuddered. Ashlyn reached over and slipped Ali’s hand in her own, giving it a tight, reassuring squeeze. “I promise that everything will be okay and I’ll be right here holding your hand the entire way.”  


Ali looked up at Ashlyn and could tell that she was being sincere and no longer teasing her. She squeezed her hand back and smiled through droopy eyes. “Promise?”  


“I pinky promise,” she responded with a grin.  


Ali shifted back in her seat a bit in an attempt to relax. She could feel her eyes becoming heavy and knew that her plan was working. “Alright. I’m going to close my eyes now. Okay?”  


Ashlyn looked over at her girlfriend with adoration as Ali laid her head gently onto her arm. Her brown hair was swept over her shoulders and she had pulled a pink eye mask over her face to block out the light. Since agreeing to fly home for her father’s birthday dinner she had been freaking out about flying. To Ash, it was just another trip in another airplane, one of hundreds of flights she had taken during her time in the service, but she could tell that Alex was honestly freaked out.  


She couldn’t tell if she was asleep or not due to the eye mask, but thought she felt Ali squeeze her hand a bit tighter as the airplane began to pick up speed. After placing a sweet kiss on Ali’s forehead, Ashlyn shifted back into her seat. This was her favorite part, the takeoff. She loved the rush of being kicked back in her seat and feeling the world float away underneath her. After a moment, she leaned forward to peek out the window. The buildings and palm trees were quickly becoming smaller, and less recognizable as the place ascended into the air.  


Although different than Ali, plane rides always made her a bit uneasy as well. It wasn’t the whole aspect of flying, it was that usually when she flew, it was to some god forsaken hole in the desert, away from her family and loved ones. This time was different though, she was with the one person that really mattered and that was more than enough to calm her nerves.  


After taking in the sights for a moment, she reached over a passed out Ali to close the window shade. She sat back in her seat and adjusted until she got comfortable. With Ali’s head still resting on her arm she reclined her seat and closed her eyes. All was right in the world. She was in her element.  


A few hours later a voice came over the cabin speaker system.  


“Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking. We’re beginning our descent now into Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport. It’s nice and sunny with temperatures hanging around 65 degrees for the better part of the day. Just sit back and relax and we’ll have you there in no time. Thank you for flying with us.”  


Ashlyn opened her eyes as the captain began to speak. She had tried to sleep during the flight, but it was no use. There was generally no rest or relaxation on military flights and her mind had become programmed to always be on high alert while in the air.  


Ali, on the other hand had had no trouble falling asleep, thanks to the Dramamine, eye mask and headphones. As Ashlyn glanced down at her, she could see that a small circle of drool had accumulated on her sweater. She smiled to herself as she thought how beautiful Ali looked, even when she was drugged and drooling on her. She didn’t want to wake her since she was sleeping so peacefully, but knew that they would be landing in a few minutes. Slowly, she pulled her arm out from underneath and wrapped it around Ali’s other side. She hugged her with one arm and gave her a kiss on top of the head. She pulled out one of her ear buds and laughed as the sound of Taylor Swift came from it. “Alex, it’s time to wake up. The plane is landing.”  


When she didn’t stir, Ashlyn took a slightly more aggressive approach. Arm still wrapped around her other side, she slid Ali’s eye mask off, pulled the other ear bud out and gave her a shake, hissing a little louder, “Alex, you need to wake up.”  


Sluggishly, she began to stir. As she lifted her head off Ashlyn’s shoulders she instantly turned bright red when she saw the drool that had accumulated. She put her hand over her mouth. “Ashlyn, I’m so sorry!” she said quickly.  


Ashlyn simply responded with a laugh. “It’s okay beautiful. Luckily for you, I brought more than one shirt for this trip.” She gently kissed Ali on the nose to reassure her that all was well.  


Ali turned away and wiped the drool from the corner of her mouth. Only Ashlyn would find that endearing, she thought with a small chuckle to herself. She unzipped her purse and threw her headphones and eye mask into it. She rubbed her eyes trying to shake off the effects of the Dramamine that was lingering in her system. Her parents were going to be waiting for them and it had been a while since she made a trip home. After everything with Lexi she had gone into a hole and shut most everyone out. This was the first time since the breakup and she was so excited to see them again.  


“That’s quite the smile you have on your face for someone who just got caught drooling and with Taylor Swift music blaring through their headphones,” Ashlyn teased.  


Ali playfully slapped her arm. “Oh quit it. I’m just excited to see my family again. And I’m excited for you to meet them too! They’ll love you,” she added, remembering that Ashlyn might be nervous to meet them.  


Ashlyn nodded her head and looked over at the window. She lifted the shade as she felt the plane begin to descend more rapidly. They were a few hundred feet off the ground so Ashlyn grabbed her hand to comfort her before the plane touched down. Trying her best to distract Ali she questioned, “How can you be sure they’ll like me?”  


“Is that a serious question?” said Ali as she shot Ashlyn a look. “Trust me, if I love you, they’ll love you. I wouldn’t bring someone home that they wouldn’t love.”  


Ashlyn thought on that before responding. “Am I the only girl you’ve brought home to your parents?”  


Ali briefly looked away, but knew there was no way to avoid the conversation. “Well, they’ve met Lexi before. But she was always at my soccer games and so were they so she just…fit right in I guess.”  


“Ah I see,” said Ashlyn as she maintained her gaze on the landscape that was quickly flying by them.  
“Ash-“ Ali began. She felt bad that she brought up Lexi and wanted to reassure her, but she was cut off.  


“Alex, relax. I just have to make them love me more than Lexi, right?” She smiled and looked into Ali’s eyes. “I never back down from a challenge,” she said with a confident grin.  


Ali laughed and shook her head. She knew that truer words had never been said. “I know you don’t. Trust me, they’ll love you.”  


Ashlyn pulled Ali close to her just as the plane hit the ground. It was a bit bumpy and she could feel Ali tense up and push tightly into her body. Ashlyn didn’t mind as she held her close until the plane finally came to a stop at the gate. “Now was that so bad?” she asked.  


“I’m alive so I guess it could have been worse, right?” she teased back.  


Ashlyn didn’t answer her with words, she simply grabbed her face and brought her in for a deep kiss which momentarily took her breath away. “I’m with you. So yes, everything is perfect.”


	23. The Pickup

“ALEX!” There was a scream from the other end of the pickup area.  


Ali yanked her head in the direction it came from, immediately able to tell who it came from. “DEB!” she yelled back. She looked at Ashlyn who nodded her head for her to go ahead. Ali took off running and jumped into her mother’s outstretched arms.  


“Your father and I missed you so much,” her mother cooed as she held Ali tightly in her arms. She grasped her daughter’s arms in her hands before pulling away and looking her over. “You look thin. Have you been working out? Have you been eating right?” She peppered her with questioned as she squeezed her arms.  


“Yes, mom I’ve been eating.”  


“I can vouch for that,” came a chuckling voice from behind them. “You should see how fast your daughter puts down a 16 ounce steak.”  


Ali and her mother turned around to see Ashlyn standing there. She set down all of hers and Ali’s bags before being wrapped up in a hug of her own from Ali’s mother.  


As they turned around and stood next to each other, Ashlyn could tell that she was a spitting image of her mother. They had the same short, small frame and the same long brown hair, only Ali’s was a bit longer. It was the eyes that caught her attention the most though. She could tell immediately that Ali got her deep brown eyes from her mother. At the same time, she knew exactly why Ali always said her mother got her way with her husband. Eyes like that did wonders. She knew that when Ali flashed those big puppy dog eyes that she was rendered helpless and figured that Ken Krieger was most likely in the same boat. These Krieger women, she thought with a silent chuckle.  


“You must be Ashlyn?” Ali’s mother said, giving her the same once over that Ali had just received. She shot a look back at Ali, “See, Alex, you should be working out more. Look at how strong Ashlyn looks. You need to get some muscle on you. Have you felt her arms?”  


Ashlyn and Ali made eye contact and tried to will each other not to break out into a fit of giggles. They couldn’t believe what was coming out of her mouth at the moment.  


“Well Ashlyn was in the military mom. That’s probably why she looks so strong. And yes, I have felt them. She’s very strong,” she said with a slight snicker as she thought back to how easily Ashlyn had swept her out of the shower and carried her to the bed.  


“Well I just worry about you, Alex. That’s all. You had to go and move all the way across the country from us. I don’t like that I can’t check up on you. We’ve barely seen you since you moved out there, you know?”  


Ali sighed. Her mother hated that she moved away and was never going to let her live to live it down. “Well I’m under 30 I’m a name partner in my firm, so I think the move was the right decision, don’t you?”  


She turned the tables on her mother who was forced to nod. “Yes, I guess so. At least you have Ashlyn now to make sure you’re getting along okay. I’m going need to take down your number in case I ever can’t get ahold of Ali. Is that alright, Ashlyn?” She dug through her purse and pulled out her phone, holding it out expectantly to Ashlyn.  


“Oh, um, yeah,” she stuttered for a moment before catching herself. Giving her girlfriend’s mother her phone number wasn’t usually in the cards, but she couldn’t say no as Deb imploringly looked at her with her phone in her outstretched hand. “That’s no problem at all.” She took the phone and quickly entered her digits into it before handing it back.  


“Thank you so much. Now when Ali decides to ignore me at least I have another way of getting in touch with her.” She shot a warning glance at Ali, “Just last month you didn’t return my calls for a week! What if there had been an emergency, Alex?”  


Ali and Ashlyn both knew the few days she was referring to. Those were the days she was holed up in her apartment and had shut out the world. Ali was about to speak, but Ashlyn chimed in first.  


“Actually, that was completely my fault. I was using Ali’s phone and I dropped it. The screen cracked so I had to get her a new one, but it took a few days for me to get to the store.” She shifted on her feet, waiting for a reply from either of the women.  


Ali was relieved that Ashlyn took the bullet for her, but gave her a look to tell her that it wasn’t expected.  


“Oh I see what happened. You should have told me, Ali!” She smacked Ali’s arm gently which made Ali groan. Even when it wasn’t her fault, it was still her fault.  


“It wasn’t a big deal, mom,” Ali concluded.  


“Well that was nice of you to get her a new one, Ashlyn.” She placed her hand gently on her arm. “When Ken broke my phone last year he handed me the credit card and sent me on my own.” She quickly changed the subject. “Speaking of you father, we better get going. Your father is meeting us at dinner at 6:30. He got held up at work as usual. His game ran into overtime so he couldn’t come with me to pick you two up. He’s very excited to see you though,” she turned to Ash, “and he’s excited to meet you as well.”  


Ashlyn returned her smile with a wide grin as she placed a hand on her lower back. “Well thank you for allowing me to be a part of this family dinner, Mrs. Krieger. I really appreciate it. Ali has told me nothing but wonderful things about your family.”  


Ali’s mother beamed ear from ear to ear. “Oh stop it Ashlyn. Call me Deb, please. And it’s our pleasure to have you. Anyone that can make Ali smile like that is certainly welcome around our family. Here let me help you with that,” she said as she grabbed one of the bags that Ashlyn had set down. “Have you ever made it out to Virginia? I take it you’re a Cali girl?”  


“No actually, I was born in Florida and lived there until I enlisted. We had a place right near the beach and that’s where I would spend most of my free time when.”  


“Oh that sounds wonderful, dear. I love the beach. That’s my favorite place to go on vacation. When Ali was little we used to travel the whole East coast for soccer tournaments. Whenever possible we would extend the vacation if there was a beach nearby. Her brother Kyle and her would play in the ocean for hours. We would have to pull them out when it started to get dark and they would both cry and complain! I remember the one time she was in her little red polka-dot bikini when we were in Miami. Poor little Ali was all pruny and her fingers and toes were be all wrinkled, but she still tried to convince Ken and I to let them go back in for a few more minutes. She was definitely a beach baby.”  


Ashlyn laughed as she imagined baby Ali frolicking through the waves in a tiny polka dot bikini. “Yeah my brother and I were the same way. It sounds like you guys had some great family trips.”  


“Oh they were the best. I remember this one time…”  


As Deb droned on and led them to the car, Ali shot Ashlyn a scowl and raised her hands up in confusion.  


“I thought your mom was supposed to be the hard one to win over?” she said with a laugh. “She seems to really like me. I told you I’m a charmer,” she concluded as she flashed Ali a cocky grin. “Maybe she just likes me for my strong arms,” she added with a flex of her free arm and a wink.  


“You’re impossible.” Ali tried to pretend she was upset, but to be honest she found it endearing that her mom was already so smitten with Ashlyn. It had actually taken quite a bit for her mother to warm up to Lexi in the beginning and this was a stark change.  


“Don’t be mad that your mother gave me a bigger hug than you. No one likes a sore loser,” she teased.  


“You’re going to pay for that comment later,” Ali said with a glare.  


“Oh I can’t wait to take whatever punishment you dish out to me later.” She reached down with her free hand and squeezed Ali’s ass.  


Her hand was quickly slapped away as Ali’s mom turned around, but she couldn’t help but look at Ashlyn with a sultry smirk. “I swear you’re going to get it later.”  


“I can’t wait.”


	24. The First Impression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be one more post tonight, if not then definitely tomorrow!

Ashlyn sat in the back seat of the Black Escalade listening to Ali and her mother banter back and forth, making up for lost time. Ali filled her mother in on the work events and her most recent courtroom victory. Her mother beamed with pride and it made Ashlyn begin to miss her own family. It had been a while since she had seen them and she made a mental note to plan a visit. They were getting older and she didn’t want time to slip by before it was too late.  


Ash tried to follow the conversation, but was tired from getting up so early. Ali had napped on the plane, but she had not been so fortunate. She had been the one organizing everything and making sure that Ali was actually up and functioning when she needed to be. If they had fought constantly about one thing, it was Ali’s propensity to be late. Many nights would begin with Ashlyn standing by the door, tapping her foot as she waited for Ali to finish getting ready or getting her things together. Although she was often annoyed at it she knew that most times Ali just wanted to look absolutely perfect for her. That morning their flight was at 8am which meant having to be at the airport by 6:30. Ashlyn of course was ready with bags packed and the car loaded, but Ali struggled in the morning and Ashlyn had to almost carry her out of the door before she was able to apply her makeup. She laughed as she thought back to the morning and how Ali shot her a warning look when she mentioned that she would carry her out if she wasn’t ready to leave in five minutes. Still thinking back on the morning events, her eyes slowly closed and the excited voices in the front seat began to fade out.  


In the rear view mirror Ali glanced back at Ashlyn who was being very quiet for once. She saw her eyes were closed and her head was lying against the window. She was out cold and Ali knew that was a good thing. It was always a late night when the Krieger family got together. That wasn’t even counting the time she needed to invoke her punishment from earlier either.  


Twenty minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. The bump woke Ashlyn up and she looked around frantically. Realizing that she was in a car and not an Army Humvee, she relaxed, though her heartbeat was still fluttering above normal. She slipped out of the car and opened the door for Ali who smiled and took her hand to help herself down.  


“You ready for this?” she whispered as their eyes met.  


“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Ash said with a smile. “Like I said, I’m a charmer.”

She took Ali’s hand and began to follow Deb into the restaurant where the rest of the clan was waiting.  


“There are my favorite girls!” said a voice from the corner of the restaurant. Ali’s father stood up to greet them as the three women approached the table. He gave his wife a gentle kiss on the cheek before wrapping Ali up in a bear hug. “How’s my favorite daughter?” he asked with a smile as he released her.  
Ali grinned and replied, “I’m doing great dad. This is, Ashlyn.”  


“Ah, Ashlyn. Well it’s a pleasure to finally meet you!” He extended his hand to Ashlyn who shook it. “Not that Ali has told us much about you,” he finished as he shot Ali an accusatory glance. His daughter had been rather tight lipped about this girl which was not customary for her. When she had been with Lexi she had gushed about her all the time, but this seemed different and he was intent on figuring out what was really going on.  


“I’ve been busy dad,” she replied quietly.  


Ashlyn caught on slightly to her tone, but tried to brush it off. She didn’t have long to process it though because she was being wrapped up in another hug that completely blindsided her.  


“Kyle!” scoffed Ali. “What are you doing?”  


Her brother grinned ear to ear as he squeezed Ashlyn in a tight hug. “Alex, I live in L.A. and I had to fly into Virginia for Dad’s birthday dinner to finally meet her.” He made a face at her that drove Ali mad. "At least let me hug her and welcome her into the family right," he concluded with a wink.  


Ash could tell immediately that she was going to like Kyle and wanted to step in to save him from Ali's verbal thrashing, but she decided to let their sibling rivalry play out.  


“We were busy!” she said, again making an excuse for hiding Ashlyn from her family.  


It wasn’t that she was ashamed; she was just trying to protect Ashlyn and shield her from her invasive family. Ash didn’t see it that way and was beginning to think the same questions in her mind. Why was Ali so hesitant to tell her family? Did she not want them to know she was dating someone? Or did she not want them to know who she was dating? The questions were running through Ashlyn’s mind, but she pushed them down. This was a joyous family occasion and she was going to enjoy herself.  


“Well Ali has told me a lot about all of you. Thank you for letting me join you. Happy Birthday, Mr. Krieger.”  


The older man smiled as he looked over at Ashlyn. She was clearly trying to make an effort and definitely wasn’t shy. That won her bonus points.  


“You are welcome anytime, Ashlyn.” He pulled out a few chairs for the women and then concluded, “Now let’s everyone sit down and I’ll order us a round of drinks!”  


When Ken spoke, the family listened. Everyone grabbed a seat. Ashlyn took a seat between Ali and Kyle, with Ken and Deb opposite them. The waitress came over and took their drink orders before scurrying away to fill them.  


“So, Alex, how’s life in Los Angeles?”  


Ali smiled. At least they were easy questions for now. “Things are great! The weather is fantastic. It hasn’t rained in months. And work is great. I won that big case I’d been preparing for months so Parker and Dunn were obviously thrilled!”  


Ken sat back in his chair with his hands folded in his lap. There was still no mention of the woman sitting next to her that had flown across the country with her. He was going to have to push a little harder. This time he looked at Ash, “And Ashlyn what do you do?”  


She took a deep breath and swallowed hard. She had thought that Ali would have told her parents something, but now she was caught in the wind. “I am actually in the military, sir. I’m a Sergeant in the IRR, or inactive reserves as civilians call it.” She left it there hoping that the conversation would steer elsewhere. Unfortunately, this peaked Ken’s interest.  


“Oh wow,” he shot a glance to Ali, “Why didn’t you tell us that, Alex?”  


It was a rhetorical question so Ali kept her mouth closed and fiddled with the napkin on her lap.  


“Did you serve any of that time overseas?” he questioned.  


“Actually, yes. I was sent over with my squad as part of Operation Iraqi Freedom. I served two tours over there.”  


“That’s tremendous. Very admirable. Thank you for your service to our country,” he added with a smile.  


“It was an honor to serve, but to be honest I couldn’t be happier to be back home for good.”  


Kyle chimed into the conversation, “So you won’t have to go back ever?”  


“Nope,” Ashlyn shook her head. “My eight years is up so I’ll be stationed stateside if I choose to continue. I get to stay here with, Alex,” she said with a smile as she rubbed her hand underneath the table.  


“So how did you two meet?” questioned Ken. It seemed that Ashlyn had an impeccable military record, so what else was Ali hiding? He was ready to get into the good stuff.  


The women looked at each other and finally Ali spoke up. “We actually met at a bar and Ashlyn spilled half of her beer on me. Then she tried to buy me a drink, but was flirting with the bartender right in front of me!” she said with a laugh.  


A shocked look fell across Ashlyn’s face as Ali's words took her by complete surprise. “I was not!”  


She looked at her knowingly, before adding, “But she did secretly cover me and my friend’s tab that night so it made up for it.”  


“And that’s it?” Kyle eagerly questioned. He knew there had to be more to the story.  


“Well no.” She decided it was best to leave out the ride home from the bar part. “Then we ran into each other at the gym the next day. And I asked her out that night to thank her for covering my tab.”  


“Oh right, I bet you just wanted to thank her,” said Kyle teasingly with a smirk.  


Everyone at the table began laughing and some of the tension eased up.  


“So how long have you two been together now?” The question came from Ken.

Ali didn’t know why her dad was grilling them. Usually he was the easy going one. Ash had sailed right through the Deb trap, but now seemed to be getting caught up in Ken’s.  


“It’s been a few months now.”  


“Well, we’re glad to have you both here.” Ken concluded as the waitress came to drop off their drinks and take their food orders. His sincerity was evident which helped relax Ash a bit. “Now Kyle," he said as he turned towards his son, "why don’t you tell us how you’re business has been doing? And what is it with this Instagram thing? What even is Instagram?”


	25. The Father Daughter Talk

The rest of dinner went off without a hitch, as the group continued to chat about everything from work to old family vacations. The Krieger’s wasted no time in filling Ashlyn in on Ali’s most embarrassing moments. Thankfully, besides turning a bit red, Ali didn’t seem to mind. She could see in the endearing looks Ashlyn gave her that she had nothing to worry about.  


As Mr. Krieger paid the bill, against everyone’s insistence not to, they stood up to leave.  


“I’ll see you all back at the house, then?” he asked as they stood in the parking lot. Ashlyn, Ali and Kyle nodded in response so he followed up with, “Girls why don’t you come with me. We’ll let Kyle and his mother catch up.”  


They all agreed and piled into the two cars. Ali took the front seat and once again Ashlyn was relegated to the back. She didn’t mind though as Ali and her father shared stories about her old soccer days. Occasionally she would interject, but for the most part let them carry on the conversation by themselves. She was more than happy to listen to the intense stories about the championship games they won and even the anger filled ones as they discussed close losses.  


Back at the house, Ashlyn again scooted out of the seat and opened the door for Ali. As the turned to go inside, Ken spoke up. “Ashlyn why don’t you have Deb show you to yours and Ali’s room. I’d like to talk to Ali for a minute if you’d like.”  


For a moment she was shocked and then tried to backpedal. “Mr. Krieger, I don’t mind sleeping on the couch. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable in your own house.”  


He smiled softly as he made eye contact. “Ashlyn, I am under no pretense that you and my daughter don’t share the same bed.” Both girls blushed as he continued. “I appreciate your offer, but I’m okay with you and Ali sharing a room. I know that you’ll respect me and the house rules. And please, call me Ken.”  


Ashlyn blushed a bit, but nodded, glad that Ken trusted them enough and she smiled back. She turned and made her way over to where Deb had just parked her car. Helping Kyle, she grabbed the bags out of the trunk and was led away into the house.  


Once Ashlyn was out of ear shot, Ken spoke up again. “She seems really nice Alex.”  


It wasn’t phrased as a question, but Ali knew he was looking for some sort of answer from her. “She is, dad. I’m really happy with her.”  


He nodded, but didn’t seem convinced. “Why didn’t you tell us about her? It’s been a few months so why haven’t we heard a word about her? She seemed a bit shocked too when I was asking what she did. I don’t think she realized it either.”  


“Realized what, dad?” Ali replied with a bit of attitude as she was feeling off-put by his line of questioning.  


“Are you embarrassed of her?” he asked flat out.  


“WHAT?” she replied. Now she was seriously pissed off. And all this time she had thought her mother would be the difficult one to please. “Why would you even say that?”  


“I’m not the only one thinking it, Alex. You’re a high powered attorney and she’s in the military. Her service is commendable, but maybe you think she’s not in your league?”  


At first Ali was stunned, thinking that her father thought Ashlyn wasn’t good enough for her. But listening to his words play in her head again, she realized that he thought she didn’t think Ashlyn was good enough for her. “Where is this coming from?”  


Ken looked much more stern than usual. His wrinkles became more pronounced as his face hardened. “Alex, your brother said it best. He lives in L.A. and hasn’t even met her. Your mother and I knew nothing about her until you accidentally let it slip. So what’s there to hide? She seems like an amazing person so I just don’t get why you’d hide her from us.”  


“It’s only been two months and I wasn’t hiding her. I love her.”  


Ken shook his head in confusion. “Then why not tell us?”  


Ali thought for a moment, unsure of how to respond. “Look, dad, she’s been through a lot. She had a tough go in the military and once she came home and I guess I was just protecting her from all of the questions. You know how you guys get, always prying into things you shouldn’t. I didn’t want to scare her off.”  


His face lightened a bit as he looked off in the distance at a passing car. “Alex, you could have just told us. We respect you enough to listen to you. I’m happy you found someone, I really am. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t mess it up.”  


“What’s that supposed to mean?” she retorted. She knew her father was trying to reconcile with her, but couldn’t ignore the comment he slipped in at the end.  


“Things got a bit crazy with you and Lexi. When it got hard, you kind of bailed…”  


Ali quickly cut her father off. “You think I bailed?” She was infuriated and the tone and level of her voice showed it.  


“Alex, please don’t make a scene. All I’m saying is that from the outside looking in, things got hard and you left. Ashlyn has obviously been through a lot and I hope no matter what you two tough it out. I see the way you two look at each other. It’s different. You two are on another level. That’s the way I used to look at your mother…” his voice trailed off.  


“Gross dad,” groaned Ali. She quickly recovered. “Listen, I appreciate your concern, but I’m telling you we’re good. I love Ash and she knows that. We’ve gone through the worst of it and neither of us are going anywhere, okay?”  


Ken wrapped his arm around his daughter. All he wanted was for her to be happy and it seemed like that’s what was happening. “Alright, Alex. I just want to see my baby girl happy. Is that too much to ask for?” he said with a slight laugh as he kissed the top of her head.  
She leaned into him, glad to finally be back with her family. “It’s not too much to ask. And I’m happy. I promise. Now let’s go inside and get some of the delicious cake mom made, okay?” Although she was excited for cake, she was more excited for the alone time she was going to get with Ashlyn later. If she recalled correctly, she had some punishment to deliver that they were both going to enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's a story without a little more drama? As always, comments/suggestions/ideas are always welcome :)


	26. The Talk

As soon as Ashlyn closed the bedroom door behind them after saying their goodnights, Ali pushed her up against the wall. “I have to punish you for earlier,” she purred sexily as she slipped her hand down the front of Ashlyn’s pants.  


Ashlyn wanted to give in, but knew they needed to have a talk first. She pulled Ali’s hand out of her pants and sighed. Ali caught on right away and turned her attention to Ashlyn’s face, which was not displaying a look of lust.  


“What’s wrong?” asked Ali as she pushed away from the door.  


Ashlyn exhaled loudly, making sure she had Ali’s full attention. Although she had stopped for the time being, she was still sporting a suggestive grin and clearly hadn’t caught on. Finally, her face adjusted and she seemed concerned.  


“Ashlyn, what’s wrong? Did someone say something to that offended you?” She tried to think back through the entire night, but couldn’t remember anything that might have been misconstrued.  


Ashlyn walked over to the bed and sat down roughly on the corner of it. She looked up at Ali with sad eyes. “It’s more like what wasn’t said that offended me.”  


Reflecting back to her conversation with her father earlier, Ali now had some idea where Ash was going with this, but she didn’t want to be wrong. She sat down next to Ashlyn and patiently waited for her to continue.  


“Why didn’t you tell your parents anything about me? And why hadn’t I met Kyle until now?”  


“I don’t know,” was all that Ali offered. She didn’t want to dredge everything back up and ruin the moment that she was trying to start.  


However, Ashlyn wasn’t buying it. “You don’t know? Alex, you told me you loved me. Do you not love me enough to tell your family about me? Are you ashamed of me?”  


The words struck Ali right in the heart. Her father had been right just like he always was. She jumped up and grabbed Ash’s hand to comfort her. “Ash, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I swear everyone is blowing this up out of proportion.”  


“Everyone?” she asked quizzically with a raised eyebrow.  


Without thinking Ali muttered, “Yeah my dad was asking me the same thing when he wanted to talk earlier.”  


Ashlyn ripped her hand away. “Your father thinks you’re ashamed of me too? You talked to him about this?” Her voice had been quiet before, but now it was raised slightly.  


Ali quickly realized her mistake and wanted to ask her to quiet down so her family didn’t overhear them, but knew that wasn’t the best response to have. She had learned that when a woman like Ashlyn got fired up, telling them to quiet down was probably the worst thing to do. “Ash, that’s not what I meant. He was just asking me the same thing you are right now.”  


“So your father was asking you if you’re ashamed of me? Are you serious, Alex? Do you not see how messed up that is?” Her voice had raised another octave even though Ali’s eyes were pleading with her to lower it.  


“Ash, stop. I am not ashamed of you. How can you even think that?”  


Ashlyn stood up from the bed and began pacing. “Well let’s see, first your brother mentions the fact that he LIVES in L.A. and I haven’t met him. Second, your father didn’t even know what I did, as if it’s hard to explain that I was a soldier. And to top it all off, he flat out asked you if you’re ashamed of me. You always say your family knows you best, Alex. So you tell me…”  


She paused and waited for a response, but when none came promptly enough she ripped her jacket out of the backpack she had brought. “I’m going for a walk.”  
“Ashlyn, wait.”  


Ali stood up and tried to grab Ashlyn’s hand, but it was no use. Ashlyn ripped it away while throwing her jacket on. The look in her eyes showed how truly hurt she was and it broke Ali’s heart. She couldn’t believe she let Ashlyn think that she was ashamed of her. This whole time she was trying to protect her and her secrets, but now it was all crumbling down around her.  


“Just let me go, Alex. I’ll be back later.”  


Ali wanted to call out to her again, but the look in Ashlyn’s eyes told her that she needed time and some space. Chasing after her would only escalate things. She flopped roughly onto her bed and covered her face with her hands. She let out a groan, and was quickly jerked from her thoughts by a voice.  


“Trouble in lady land?”  


She sat up and saw Kyle standing in the doorway. She didn’t want to bring her brother into it, but he was the best at giving advice and she could definitely use it right now. Besides, he had obviously seen Ashlyn storm off so there would be no turning him away now. She nodded and waved him into the room. After a few minutes of filling him in on the basic details, Kyle gave Ali a quick hug and then stood up.  


“I’ll go get her.”  


“Kyle,” Ali replied in a warning tone.  


He put his hands up as if he was surrendering. “Alex, I promise I won’t say anything dumb. She obviously doesn’t want to talk to you right now and if I was her I wouldn’t want to either. So let me go check on her, okay?”  


She nodded. Kyle was good at these kinds of things. “Alright. I’ll have my phone so just let me know if either of you need anything.”  


“You got it, sis,” he said with a wink. When he saw her hang her head he added, “Don’t worry about it. It’ll all work out. I promise.”  


She forced as smile as he exited the room, hoping that her big brother could work some magic.


	27. The Big Brother

Ashlyn wrapped her jacket tighter around her as she finally came to a dead end street. It had gotten a bit chillier after the sun ducked down below the horizon and she wished she would have grabbed a heavier coat. She halted her walk and plopped down on the metal road barrier that separated the road from the vast expanse of woods behind it.  


So many thoughts were swirling through her mind and it was taking everything to keep the tears tucked inside. Why was Ali so afraid of telling her family anything about her? She knew that she wasn’t the only one thinking it either, Ali’s family definitely shared the same sentiment. Hell her dad had even flat out asked if she was embarrassed of Ashlyn. As she thought some more, she came to an answer and it broke her heart. She had always known that Ali was in a class of her own, but never once had she made Ashlyn think that was an issue. Until now. It killed her to know that the woman she thought she would spend forever with wanted to keep her a dirty secret. Come to think of it, she hadn’t even met any of her friends or been to any of her work functions either. If Ali was really serious about them, isn’t that something she would be excited about? After all, Ashlyn had wasted no time showing her off to all of her friends. But then again, why would she have brought her to her family party? Then she remembered that she had let it slip to Kyle and she was expected to bring her. Strike three.  


Her heart was beating fast and she couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. How had she been so stupid? She loved Ali and after meeting them, had quickly fallen in love with her family too. With the sleeve of her jacket she roughly wiped the corner of her eye. Why did she always find herself in these messes? As hard as it was to admit, maybe life was at least simpler overseas.  


She was pulled from her thoughts by the crunch of gravel behind her. “Alex, I really don’t want to talk right now,” she mumbled softly.  


The footsteps kept approaching, so she spoke again. This time louder, “I said I don’t want to talk to you!”  


“How about a big brother talk instead?”  


Ashlyn turned and saw Kyle closing the distance between them. His hands were raised to show that he came in peace. That was the last thing Ash wanted, but she decided to simply shrug and allow him to take a seat on the partition next to her. They sat in silence for a few minutes, taking in the scene around them. It was the first time they had ever been alone, but she was thankful that the silence felt comfortable.  


Finally, Kyle broke the silence. “Ali didn’t tell me what happened between you two, but if you want to talk I’m really good at keeping secrets.”  


She didn’t want to, but somehow Kyle’s presence had a calming effect on her. “Well I guess your sister has a propensity for not telling people things,” she said harshly under her breath.  


Kyle threw his head back, “Ahh I see what’s going on.”  


“Glad I’m not the only one that realized it,” she retorted. She was still angry and even though Kyle was Ali’s brother, she felt comfortable enough to be honest. Besides, it seemed that he was well aware of how difficult his sister could be.  


Kyle thought for a moment before responding. Ali had trusted him enough to try to mend things so he chose his words carefully. “Ash, you and I both know Ali is…a difficult woman.” He cracked a commiserating smile that Ashlyn couldn’t help but reciprocate.  


“I just don’t understand it. I haven’t met her friends, I haven’t met you, and I walked into a god damn ambush at dinner because she hadn’t even told your parents I was in the army! The only reason I’m even here is because you went and blabbed to Deb!”

“Hey now!” said Kyle with a grin. “Someone has to keep them up to date. Since you came around Ali hasn’t really talked to any of us.”  


“Really?” Ashlyn perked up. “Why’s that?” She probably didn’t want to slip up and mention me, she thought.  


“I think maybe it’s because,” he paused and grinned, “maybe she was a bit too busy doing other things.” He concluded with a chuckle that did wonders to lighten the mood.  


“Yeah I guess. But why is she hiding me from everyone? I introduced her to my friends as soon as I could. She’s amazing and I wanted the world to know it. I guess she doesn’t think the same of me.” Her voice trailed off and shoulders slumped as uttered the last sentence.  


Kyle could tell how much she was hurting and she had every reason to. “Listen, Ash. I don’t know everything behind Ali’s reasoning, but I can tell you that I’ve never seen her happier than at dinner and in the house tonight. The way she looks at you,” he paused. “Well, I wish I had someone look at me like that.”  


Ashlyn glanced over and saw Kyle’s face harden. It seemed that he wasn’t fully the happy guy he portrayed. “I’m sure you’ll find someone, Kyle,” she offered. She didn’t want to assume his situation so she kept it short.  


Kyle forced a smile. “Thanks, Ash. But enough about me, more about you. You know Ali loves you, right? Like more than anything.”  


“I know she does. But you can love someone in private, public is a different thing.”  


“True,” he offered. It didn’t help Ali’s case, but her statement was true and he knew it all too well.  


“Can I ask you a question?”  


“Anything,” he replied quickly.  


“Did she talk about Lexi a lot?” she cautiously asked, unsure if she really wanted to know the answer.  


Kyle’s demeanor changed. His shoulders slumped, face lowered and he broke their eye contact .That was enough of an answer for Ashlyn, but he tried to salvage it. “That was a totally different situation, Ash. I mean they were in college.”  


It didn’t work. Ashlyn felt another outpouring of tears coming on. She quickly looked away and wiped them from the corner of her eye. “Yeah, they were in college which meant no one cared who you were or what you did. But out here in the real world, things are different I guess. I should have known that I would never be in her league.”  


“Whoa, no. I don’t think that’s it at all.” He placed his hand on hers, and offered a gentle smile.  


Ashlyn had to look away. He looked so similar to Ali when he smiled that she couldn’t bear to look at him.  


“I think, in Ali’s weird way she’s trying to protect you.”  


She looked back at him, confused. “Protect me from what? I served two years in Iraq!” Her voice was becoming louder and she could see Kyle’s eyes go wide. She was relaxed around Kyle and felt she could be honest with him so she continued. “I think I can handle meetings friends and a family dinner, don’t you?” She knew she was putting him in a bad situation, but she didn’t care at the moment.  


“I think that’s what she’s protecting you from. She’s trying to shield you from the questions. Did you see her shooting daggers at my father when he started asking about your military service?”  


Ashlyn thought back to dinner and did remember that Ali didn’t look pleasant. She had thought she was just upset that they were finding out the truth about. “Yeah I saw that.”  


Kyle release Ashlyn’s hand, this time wrapping his arm around Ashlyn and pulling her close. His warm, caring touch comforted her so she leaned her weight into him. “Look Ashlyn, I’ve just met you and already figured out how awesome you are as a person and for my sister. Alex isn’t a dumb person. She knows it too. I don’t know what happened to you over there and I don’t ever expect you to tell me, but I think Ali really is trying to protect you. If you haven’t noticed, Deb and Ken can be quite nosy,” he added with a smile intended to ease some of Ashlyn’s worries.  


It worked a bit as Ashlyn mulled it over. It made sense, but she didn’t understand why Ali felt she needed to protect her. She was more than capable of fielding and deflecting questions. She had already been doing it for years. She wasn’t completely calmed, but her talk with Kyle had definitely helped and she made a mental note to call her own big brother and have a talk.  


They sat for a few more moments in silence before Ashlyn spoke. She wasn’t ready to forgive Ali, but she knew they needed to have a real talk. If Ali wasn’t going to commit one hundred percent, then she needed to get out while she still could. “Thanks for coming to check on me, Kyle. I appreciate you being a big brother,” she said with a wink as she jabbed an elbow lightly in his ribs.  


He jokingly groaned and shot a look back at her. “Anything for my little sis,” he said.  
At first she assumed he meant Ali, but his grin told her otherwise. To Kyle, Ashlyn was already a part of the Krieger family.


	28. The Punishment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter for today. Should have some more for tomorrow!!

Ali awoke to a light knock on the door. After Kyle had left, she had briefly closed her eyes, but the weight of the day finally took its toll on her and she had quickly fallen asleep. Quickly, she wiped the sleep from her eyes and sat up, peeling the warm covers off of her body, cursing as the cold night air found its way in. “Come in,” she quietly said.  


The door swung open and Ashlyn entered. Her head was hanging down, hands stuffed in her pants pockets. Ali couldn’t help but see that she looked defeated before the talk even began.  


She stood up and rushed over to her side, prying her hands out of her pockets. “Ashlyn, I’m so glad you came back.”  


She shot her a callous look. “What did you think I was just going to take a plane ride home and leave you here with the mess?” She couldn’t believe Ali would think that low of her.  


Shocked by her words, Ali quickly replied, “No, that’s not what I thought at all. I’m just glad you’re back…with me now.”  


She waited for a response, but Ashlyn simply stared blankly back at her. Ali was going to have to run the show for the time being.  


“Ash, I don’t want you to ever think that I am embarrassed by you. You are amazing and I can’t believe you honestly think I don’t know that.” She tried to make eye contact, knowing it would held, but Ashlyn refused and looked past her.  


“Thinking or knowing something is different than actions, Alex. Can you just cut the crap and be honest with me? Don’t worry about my feelings, they’re already hurt enough. I just want the truth.”  


Ashlyn was truly hurting and Ali knew it. She wouldn’t make eye contact, but at least she was still holding her hand, even if it was loosely. She led her over to the bed and they sat down. Ashlyn kept her distance though she still allowed Ali to hold her hand.  


“Okay you want the truth?” It was a rhetorical question but Ashlyn still nodded. “Ashlyn, I’m not ashamed of you. I never have been and never will be. You are an amazing woman and have gone through things that I cannot even fathom. It took so much for you to finally tell those things to me and I just wanted to protect you.”  


At that, Ashlyn ripped her hand away from Ali’s. “That’s bullshit.”  


Her words stung, but Ali kept going, though she didn’t reach for her hand again. “It’s not. Ashlyn I didn’t tell people or show you off to people because I didn’t want them asking questions. I didn’t know how you would handle them. My friends and family are nosy and I didn’t want you,” she trailed off as she searched for the right word, “breaking down or something.”  


As soon as the words left her mouth she knew it had been a poor choice of words. Ashlyn’s eyes enlarged and her jaw tightened. “Don’t you dare.”  


Ali was grasping at straws trying to smooth over her words, “No that’s not what I meant…”  


“Don’t you dare sit there and say you’re keeping me locked up and away from the world because you don’t want me breaking down.” She enunciated the last words to reinforce how absurd she thought Ali’s statement was. “You think you come in to my life and get me to share a few stories and automatically are my protector? Alex, I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but I spent a lot of years keeping those secrets from my own friends and my own family. Yours are no different than anyone else’s. I don’t need protection. That’s bullshit!”  


Ali fumbled with the corner of her bed spread. She hadn’t thought about it like that. Once again her trying to do what she thought was the right thing was quickly backfiring on her. While she tried to organize her thoughts her lack of response angered Ashlyn more.  


“Oh please. You’re a smart girl, Alex. Don’t sit there and tell me that you hadn’t thought about it like that. I don’t need you to coddle me and act like my therapist. I need you to act like my girlfriend. ” Her words were harsh, but she was hurting and needed Ali to understand that. Although it had felt good to share things with Ali, she was a strong, smart, mentally tough woman and she didn’t need her girlfriend coddling her.  


“You’re right,” came a quiet mumble from Ali’s mouth.  


“What?” said Ashlyn as her head shot around to look at Ali.  


“I said you’re right, Ash. I didn’t think about it like that. I just, I,” she stuttered, but quickly recovered. “I saw how hurt you were that night when you were telling me everything. I saw the pain in your eyes and heard it in your voice. I wanted to spare you from that. I didn’t think about it from your viewpoint and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed.”  


Ashlyn could instantly tell that Ali was being sincere. She felt a bit guilty for yelling at her, but needed to drive the point home. “Just ask, Alex. I’m not a crazy, emotional monster. I’m not going to break down at the mere mention of something. I just need you respect me enough to be honest and come to me if something is bothering you. I can handle it. Okay?”  


Admitting her mistake, Ali nodded. “You got it. I’m sorry,” she said as she grasped Ashlyn’s hand.  


She innocently looked up and smiled at Ash, who melted at the sight of her. Wisps of tear soaked hair was plastered to her face and her eyes were red from crying, but in that moment she couldn’t help but smile back. No one was perfect, even Ali, and she was going to need to learn to give and take.  


“I accept your apology,” said Ash quietly as she continued to take in the sight of her beautiful girl.  


Ali picked up on what Ash was doing and put some more distance in between them, allowing her to take in the full scope of her body. Ash’s look didn’t waver, so Ali slowly began to unbutton her blouse, button by button as she licked her lips and maintained their eye contact. A small smile broke out across her face as she sat back against the headboard, legs straight out, and arms folded behind her head. After the last button, Ali slowly slipped the sleeves of her blouse off of her shoulders, exposing her bronze skin. Leaving her bra in place, she quickly shimmied out of her skirt, letting it drop to the floor around her ankles.  


Ash licked her lips as she stared at the magnificent sight before her. Every inch of Ali was perfect and she couldn’t believe that she was all hers.  


“Come here,” Ash commanded.  


Ali eagerly obliged and climbed on top of the bed until she was straddling Ash with her weight on top of her. “Want to help me the rest of the way?” she innocently questioned as she glanced down and played with her panty line.  


Ash gulped and quickly leaned forward to pull Ali into a deep kiss. Their tongues intertwined as Ash made quick work of Ali’s bra and pulled her underwear of, tossing it across the room. Ali reached down and slipped Ash’s jacket and shirt off as well. Just as she was about to unzip her pants, Ash grabbed her hand.  


“What about your father,” she questioned as Ali continued to kiss down her neck. It was the last thing she wanted to worry about, but she had promised him.  


“Please don’t talk about my father right now,” Ali breathed out in between kisses.  


“But we-“ Ash began but was cut off by an uncontrollable moan that left her mouth as Ali slipped her hand down her pants again.  


“What my father doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Besides, I thought you were a bad girl?” she added with a grin.  


Ash couldn’t even form a complete thought, let alone a full sentence as Ali began rubbing her clit between her fingers. “I ammm,” she was able to mumble.  


“Then show me,” Ali seductively whispered into her ear as she slipped a finger inside her.  


Ash let out a moan and was instantly brought to life by the loaded statement that Ali had just hotly whispered to her. She grabbed Ali quickly with both hands and flipped her over so that she was now on top of her. Ali let out a shriek so Ash quickly covered her mouth and shot her a warning look. The last thing she needed was Ken Krieger knocking on their door while she was showing Ali just how much of a bad girl she was. That thought quickly dissipated as Ali hungrily brought Ash down and locked in another deep kiss.  


Ash broke from the kiss and moved to the crook of Ali’s neck, her favorite spot. Ali let out a soft moan, heeding Ash’s earlier warning as she ran her hands up her leg. Ash still had her pants on and she wanted to keep it that way. She was going to take her time on Ali first, making sure she got exactly what she needed.  


She worked her kisses down Ali’s breasts, with licks and kisses. Ali was beginning to breathe heavily and Ash rubbed over her center. She made her way down past her navel, but skipped over where her hand was rubbing, instead kissing down her legs.  


After a few minutes of teasing, Ali was practically beginning for it. “Ash, please.”  


As if on cue, Ash gave in, sliding a finger deep into her. Ali bucked her hips and again Ash was forced to cover her mouth again as another loud grown escaped. She winced when Ali bit down on her hand, as she slid another finger into her. She ignored the pain, only motivated more by the seductive look Ali was shooting her.  


She kept moving her fingers in and out, picking up speed, until she could feel Ali begin to tighten around her fingers.  


“Oh fuck baby I’m going to come. Don’t fucking stop,” Ali hissed softly between moans.  


Knowing exactly what she needed, Ash took her in her mouth sucking gently on her clit while rhythmically working her fingers in and out.  


Ali could feel that she was on the brink of an orgasm. Her back had arched of the bed and she pulled Ash's head deeper in between her legs while pulling a pillow over her mouth to muffle the sounds of euphoria that were inevitable.  


Ash kept her pace as she felt Ali’s body slowly relax. She pulled her fingers out and licked them clean while grinning at Ali who was laying on her back panting.  


“That good?” said Ash.  


“You are quite cocky today,” Ali said as she pulled her down and hungrily kissed Ash’s lips.  


They laid there for a few moments, Ash on her back with Ali’s head on her shoulder and her arm wrapped around her side. This was Ash’s favorite way to hold Ali. She held her tight like she was never going to let her go. And it was true, she was never going to.  


Ali broke the silence as she ran a hand up Ash’s leg, making her shudder. “I just remembered I still had to punish you for that little stunt you pulled earlier at the airport.”  


“Oh is that right?” replied Ash, pretending to seem indifferent.  


“Oh that’s right,” said Ali as she climbed on top of her again. “You’re mine now.”


	29. The Lesson

“You sure you’re ready for this,” questioned Ali with a serious face. She wanted her to feel safe, even though she was slightly terrified herself, and didn’t want to push her into anything.  


A wide grin spread across Ashlyn’s face. “I’m ready for anything as long as you’re by my side. Now let’s go!”  


Ali stood for a minute with her feet in the warm sand as she watched Ashlyn run with her surfboard tucked under her arm into the crashing waves. She couldn’t help but smile as she watched her girl enter back into her element. Ash hadn’t been back surfing since she had come back from her last tour and Ali thought it was time that changed. She saw how longingly she would look out at the waves and the surfers whenever they would walk the beach. Ashlyn had gone with her last month and seen her in her element with her family, and now she wanted to see her where she was most comfortable, which was floating in the ocean. Grabbing her new board from the sand, Ali chased after Ashlyn with a giddy smile.  


As the first wave approached, Ash easily jumped over it when it trickled onto the shore. The next wave was a bit bigger and this time she jumped over it and landed on her stomach on top of the board. The next was even bigger and this time she ducked underneath it, feeling the weight of the wave on her body as she dove under the water. As soon as she came up for air, another wave was rolling it and she submerged again to avoid it, this time not as smoothly. She was knocked off her board, but only for a second as her instincts kicked in. After battling a few more waves, she finally got to calm water. She sat up and looked out at the tranquil scene in front of her and couldn’t help but smile.  


As she sat there she couldn’t help but think how crazy it was that one minute she could go from battling fierce waves to complete calmness and silence. It was almost like Iraq. Gunfire would erupt and bombs would go off, but if she kept pushing through it, she always emerged on the other side. A scream ripped her from her thoughts. In her moment of bliss she had forgot that Ali was with her.  


She quickly whipped her head around only to see Ali’s board sticking in the air and her flailing beside it. Ash laughed and turned her board to paddle over to her. She forgot she was supposed to be teaching her how this whole surfing thing went. “Oops,” she said under her breath with a chuckle.  


When she reached Ali she offered her a hand and helped her get back onto her board. Another wave was rolling in so there wasn’t a lot of time for her to explain. “Watch what I do and duck!” she said as she slipped effortlessly under the wave.  


Ali, unfortunately, was not so lucky. The wave plastered her, knocking her back into the water. Ashlyn waited for her to surface before helping her get back on the right side. This time there was a little break in the waves so she could explain a little better. “Alright this time you go when I tell you to,” Ashlyn instructed as she carefully calculated the speed at which the wave was approaching them. “NOW!” she yelled and Ali instinctively dove under the wave, this time actually surfacing, still on the board, on the other side. The smile on her face was priceless, especially as she watched that same wave slam into Ashlyn. She had been paying too close of attention to Ali and hadn’t reacted quickly enough.  


“Oh you think that’s funny?” said Ash with a laugh as she climbed back on top of her board, this time easily ducking the next wave that Ali had also gone under.  


“Well I mean I seem to have this down pretty well so if you need any pointers just let me know.” Ali flashed her a smirk and patronizing look.  


Ashlyn slipped her hand into the water and splashed Ali when she got within striking distance. “If you’re so good then how about I paddle back in and you can teach yourself how to surf? I think I would be quite amused watching that,” she retorted.  


Ali’s smile quickly faded as she thought about being stuck out there by herself. “But…but there are sharks out here! You can’t leave me,” she said worriedly.  


Ashlyn let out a hearty laugh at the terrified look on her face. “We’re fine, Alex. Trust me, you’re too bony for them anyways. I think they’d go for one of those guys instead,” she said as she pointed to a group of larger men who were riding waves about 100 yards down from them.  


Ali followed her finger and then quickly nodded when she saw the men she was referring to, but her eyes shot open when Ash added, “But you probably look more like a wounded seal than me by the way you’re flopping around in those waves.”  


“Ashlyn!” she said with a laugh. “This is my first time!”  


Ashlyn paddled over to her and grabbed her hand, pulling her in until the back of their boards were touching. She planted a kiss on Ali’s lips and then pulled away. “Well I guess I better start teaching you because I don’t want any sharks over here snacking on me either,” she said with a grin.  


Ali couldn’t help but think how hot Ashlyn looked at the moment. She was wearing white and blue board shorts and a black string bikini top which all showed off her tan body and blend of tattoos. The sun was reflecting brightly off the droplets of water that had pooled on her shoulders and the strings of blonde hair that had escaped her tight bun, but that was all outshined by her radiating, gleeful smile.  


“What are you smiling about?”  


“You,” Ali replied. “Just thinking about you and how hot you look sitting over there.”  


Ash put her hand up to signal Ali to stop. “Excuse me, but I have a girlfriend. I know a lot of people hit on their surf instructors, but I have a girlfriend that I love very much so I’m sorry to break your heart.”  


She feigned being offended, but Ali just laughed at her.  


“Oh stop!” Ali said as she splashed Ashlyn and her board with a wall of water. “You’re so corny!” Ashlyn just laughed and quickly paddled away as Ali continued to barrage her with water. She was glad that Ashlyn was taking this well. It had been years since she had been in the water, but it was like she had never left. “Now are going to teach me or what?”  


“That depends,” Ashlyn replied with a cheesy grin, “are you going to stop hitting on me and listen to my professional opinion?”  


Ali shot her a displeased look, but nodded her head and threw her hands up to surrender. “I’m all yours. Teach away. And don’t worry I won’t tell your girlfriend that I think you’re smokin’ hot,” she teased.  


Cautiously, Ashlyn paddled back over to Ali. She was half expecting to be splashed some more, but she was pleasantly surprised. Ali simply floated there in silence waiting for some instructions. “It’s okay if you think I’m hot. Just don’t tell her that I think you’re pretty sexy too and I kind of want to see what’s under that bathing suit of yours.” She winked and Ali shot her a foolish grin.  


The next few hours, Ashlyn worked on teaching Ali how to surf. There was a lot of failures and laughs, but eventually Ali caught on and was starting to get closer to standing up on a wave. As coordinate as she was, she couldn’t believe how difficult this was. Finally, she made it through an entire wave, albeit a small one, and didn’t fall off until the very end when the wave trailed off and she wasn’t sure what to do. Ashlyn chuckled as she paddled into to her girlfriend who came up sputtering for air. She didn’t seem too pleased that Ash was laughing at her, but smiled nonetheless when she excitedly congratulated her on riding her first full wave as she floated in the water, arms draped over her board.  


“You know it takes people years before they can do that right?” she said seriously.  


“What can I say,” Ali replied with a shrug and casual shrug. “I guess I’m just a natural.”  


“Oh is thattt what it is?” Ashlyn nodded. “I see. And here I was thinking you just had a great teacher.” Ash pretended to be sad as she sheepishly glanced over her shoulder and off into the distance.  


Ali grabbed her arm and ripped her down into the water. Ashlyn let out a shriek as she was quickly immersed in the cold water. “What was that for!” she yelled as she caught her breath upon emerging.  


Ali didn’t answer right away, but looked at her with a sultry grin. Grabbing Ashlyn’s hand she pulled her in close and wrapped her legs around Ashlyn’s waist. Ash was no longer complaining as she felt Ali’s warm body push up against her. “You’re right,” she whispered hotly in Ashlyn’s ear. “I think it was all because I had a great teacher. Who also happens to be super hot.”  


Ashlyn shuddered as the words filled her ear and swirled into her thoughts. She placed her lips on Ali’s neck and worked her way down to right where her bathing suit met her breasts.  


“What about that girlfriend of yours?” Ali moaned as Ash squeezed her ass roughly with her other hand.  


“I won’t tell if you don’t” huffed Ashlyn without breaking out of her kisses.  


“Deal,” said Ali who threw her head back and breathed in sharply as she felt Ashlyn’s finger slip underneath her bikini bottom.


	30. The Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up! We're about to get some of that craziness that I promised you! ;)
> 
> Let me know what you think!!

Ali slowly awoke to her blaring alarm clock. She lazily hit snooze and rolled over in bed to cuddle Ash, only to find her side of the bed cold and empty. She sat up and looked around the room, but she was nowhere to be found. Ali found it weird since she almost always had to be at work before Ashlyn, but figured she had just gone out to get breakfast or work out. She opened her phone and scrolled through her messages, finding none from Ash.  


She wiped the sleep from her eyes and made her way to the bathroom when something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. There was a small slip of paper lying on the bedside table on Ashlyn’s side. She walked over and picked it up, slowly reading what it said.  


Got called into work early and I didn’t want to wake you. I have a big surprise for you so I’m taking you out tonight somewhere really nice to celebrate. I’ll swing by your work around 5:30 to pick you up! Can’t wait to see you later beautiful.  
XOXO Ash

Ali smiled as she set the note down and headed into the bathroom to get ready for work. She stayed in the shower for a few extra minutes as she thought about everything that had happened the last few months and what this big surprise could be. Was Ashlyn going to propose to her?  


They had been dating for about four months and although it seemed like such a short amount of time, she had never felt closer to a single person in her entire life. She felt safe with Ash, but it wasn’t a boring, comfortable safe. They still had that fire that made them passionately crave each other both emotionally and physically. Just one look could set them off, no matter where they were or who they were with. There were no secrets between them and Ali honestly felt she could tell Ashlyn anything without being judged. 

Once everything had been put out into the open, their relationship flew to the next level.  


Even though it was only four months, Ali didn’t even have to think about it. She knew she would say yes in a heartbeat.  


She stepped out of the shower and dried off. After searching her closet for the perfect outfit she pulled out a form fitting, knee-length red dress. For work purposes she slipped a black blazer over it, which she would leave in the office and packed up her makeup so she could apply some touch ups later before she got picked up. Tonight, she wanted to completely blow Ashlyn away.  


Half an hour later she walked into the office and her beaming smile must have been evident to everyone.  


“You’re looking pretty good today, Ali,” said her secretary with a wink as Ali was passing by on the way to her office. “And you’ve got quite the smile to go with it. What’s the occasion?” she asked with a quizzical glance.  


Ali didn’t even try to hide her smile, in fact she smiled even bigger. “I’m just in a good mood Carli!” Ali answered. “Then she bent down and quietly whispered, “And I’ve got a hot date tonight.”  


Carli laughed and shook her head. “Well have fun tonight. And just a heads up, the new legal intern started Friday when you were off and will be in later to meet you and go over some things.”  


Ali nodded as she sorted through a stack of mail that Carli had handed her. Without glancing up she replied, “Sounds great. Just give me a little to get everything situated and then you can send them in. What’s the intern’s name, again?”  


“Jordan,” she replied as she accepted the envelopes that Ali had shoved back towards here.  


“Alright. Thanks, Carli.”  


She turned on her heels and pushed the door to her office open. As she closed the door gently behind her, she looked up to see a bouquet of red roses on her desk. Picking up the note tucked in the middle, she read:  


You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met inside and out. I’m never leaving your side.  


The hand writing was Ashlyn’s and she smiled as she picked up the vase and smelled the roses that were neatly arranged inside. After she set them down she grabbed her phone and dialed Whit’s number. After a few rings she picked up.  


“Hey, Ali!” she said excitedly. “What’s up girl?”  


Ali tried to contain her excitement. The roses were definitely the icing on the cake and she needed to spill to someone before her big date that night. “Are you free for lunch today? My treat.”  


There was hardly a hesitation on the other side. “Of course I am. And I would be even if you weren’t buying,” she added with a laugh.  


“Alright, I’ll pick you up from the bank around noon. Does that work?”  


“Yep I’ll see you then!”  


Just as Ali was hanging up the phone, there was a light knock on the door.  


“Come in,” she called as she looked back at the gorgeous roses that Ashlyn had sent her.  


“Hi, I’m Jordan,” came a voice from behind her.  


“Oh hey, Jord-“ Ali wasn’t even able to get the words out as she turned around to meet the new intern. In front of her stood one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen. She was taller and had dark, tanned skin with long black waves of hair. Everything about her was inviting from her eyes to her smile to her slightly revealing outfit. This was definitely not the dorky male intern she had expected. She wanted to kick herself for not reading through the intern profiles that Parker had given her last month. She quickly recovered as Jordan began to slightly blush and was able to mumble, “It’s nice to meet you Jordan.” She stretched out her hand and shook firmly, noting how soft and warm her hand was.  


“Oh the pleasure is all mine,” she replied with a small smile.  


Ali fumbled for her words for a moment before she was able to form another coherent sentence. She was certainly caught off guard seeing as last summer their intern looked like he had never been kissed. “So how do you like Law School?”  


“I love it. But honestly, the best part is being able to do these summer internships. I still can’t believe I landed an internship at the top Los Angeles firm.”  


“Oh well thank you. We are certainly glad for the help around here. Things have been a bit hectic with Dunn planning his retirement and all. Who knows, maybe there’ll be an associate job opening when you finish up school.”  


She was trying to be polite, but couldn’t deny that she wouldn’t mind working with someone so beautiful. They would be a quite a team, especially if the prosecutors couldn’t get their jaws off the floor after they walked into the Courtroom.  


Jordan smiled, this time not so innocently and took a few more steps into the room. “I would love that. I’ve actually been reading up on your career. Being a partner at your age is incredible, especially for a woman. It’s definitely admirable and if I’m half as successful as you at that age, I’ll be more than happy. You truly are exceptional.”  


Now it was Ali’s turn to blush as Jordan continued on with her admiration.  


“Well us girls have to stick together, right? If you ever need anything let me know and I’ll be more than happy to help.”  


“Anything at all?” she said with a raised eyebrow and suggestive grin.  


Ali cleared her throat, flustered by the woman’s forwardness. She decided the best course of action was to ignore what she was insinuating. “Yes anything at all. If you need help on a case or career advice or even just to talk, just let me know.”  


“I will definitely do that,” Jordan responded as she gently combed her hair through her fingers and held Ali’s eyes.  


Ali knew she was in trouble by the way this woman was eyeing her and needed to get herself some time to gather her compose. Before Ashlyn, she hadn’t even looked twice at blondes. Her type was tall dark and gorgeous and Jordan checked every single one of the boxes. She forced herself to tear her eyes away from the beautiful woman sitting in front of her and pretended to sift through some files on her desk. “Well it was very nice to meet you Jordan,” she quipped. “I have to take care of a few things this morning, but how about right after lunch I’ll go over this new case with you? I know Parker wanted you on this one because he said you have experience in International Law. Sound good?”  


Jordan could tell exactly what she was doing, but didn’t mind. It meant she had her exactly where she wanted. “Oh that’s not a problem at all Miss. Krieger. I’ll be here all summer. You just let me know when you need me.” Her tone was sultry as she gave Ali a final glance before making her way out of the office.  


Ali couldn’t help but notice the way her hips rocked back and forth as she exited the room. Oh boy I’m in trouble, she thought as she rested her face in her palms.


	31. The Lunch Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go :)

“Are you going to tell me what that grin on your face is for?” she asked with sincere curiosity. It was the same grin that she had sported after her first date with Ashlyn.  


Ali didn’t even know where to begin. As soon as they had taken their seats on the patio of the restaurant, Whit was already grilling her.  


“Where do I even start?” she said with a laugh as she took a sip of the water that the waiter had just brought over to them. “So many things have already happened and it’s only noon!”  


Whit stared back at her blankly, waiting for an answer. “Well something has you all giddy and I talked to you last and you were fine soooo let’s start with this morning?”  


Typical Whit, thought Ali. She was always so logical. “Well this morning I woke up and Ashlyn was gone, but she left me a note. It said something about having a big surprise and taking me out for a nice dinner.”  


“That’s all it said?” questioned Whit as she leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table.  


Ali knew she was looking for exact wording so she began fishing through her purse. “I think I have it in here actually,” she said as she dug through old receipts and makeup to finally produce what she was looking for. She knew she could always count on Whit to over-analyze everything with her. That’s how they had become best friends on the soccer team in the first place.  


Whit carefully read the brief note word for word. She set it down on the table and paused for a minute as she thought through it. “Wow. You think…you think she’s going to propose?”  


Ali breathed a sigh of relief that Whit thought the same thing as her. At least she wasn’t just going crazy. “I don’t know what other surprise there would be? I mean last week she joked about us getting a puppy, but I wouldn’t see that as being a reason to have a big, fancy celebration dinner. Do you?” She glanced over at Whit and anxiously waited for her response.  


“I mean, no, I wouldn’t think you would celebrate getting a puppy,” she said with a laugh. “What kind?”  


“She loves French Bulldogs, but that’s not what it is Whit!” She needed her friend to focus.  


“I know. Well the only other thing I could see is that she wants to move in together or something. Isn’t that a logical next step?”  


Ali shook her head no. She had already thought about this. “Ashlyn is kind of old-fashion. She always said she wanted to get engaged before she ever moved in with someone. And besides she sent me a huge bouquet of roses to work and there was a note saying that she was never going to leave my side! I mean what else could that even mean?” she asked excitedly.  


Whit sat back in her seat and pulled her elbows off the table to allow the waiter to set her food down in front of her. “Well then I guess next time I talk to you, you’re going to be an engaged woman, huh?” she asked with a chuckle. She could see how much Ali and Ashlyn loved each other, but wanted to make sure her friend knew what she was getting into. “You think after only four months though that you’re ready?”  


Ali spooned some more pasta into her mouth. She knew the question was coming and had the cliché answer already prepared. “Whit, it’s like we’ve known each other forever. We’ve been through so much already and none of it has pushed us away, it’s just brought us closer together.”  


With the corner of her napkin, Whit wiped her mouth. “Well good for you, Alex. I’m really excited for you guys.”  


Through a mouth full of food Ali added, “And you’ll of course be my Maid of Honor, right?”  


“Oh I already have my dress picked out! Hope the other bridesmaids will like it.” She shot Ali a grin and watched her friends face light up with a smile.  


“Funny, Whit. Real funny.”  


Whit watched as Ali’s eyes shifted back down to her plate. She knew her friend too well. There was more to the story that she was leaving out. “So is that all that happened today then?”  


Ali was momentarily confused by the question until she remembered her encounter with Jordan. All the talk about getting engaged had thankfully pushed it from her mind. She tried to shrug it off, but Whit picked up on her sly smile and pried.  


“There’s something you’re not telling me!” she scoffed. “Come on!”  


Ali set down her fork and sat back in her seat. “It’s nothing. There’s just this new intern at work.”  


Her attempt to downplay it didn’t have the desired effect on Whitney. “And?” she replied a bit impatiently.  


“Well she’s pretty hot and I’m pretty sure she spent the better part of our first meeting hitting on me.”  


“Oh my god!” said Whit as she spit the water she was drinking out of her mouth, spraying it across the table. “Are you serious? How old is this girl?” she said with a laugh. Leave it to Ali to find herself in these compromising situations.  


“I don’t know in her early twenties probably,” she replied. “She’s my type too-was my type, before Ashlyn.”  


“Tall, dark and gorgeous?” said Whit with a speculative look on her face.  


Ali gave her an indifferent shrug, “I guess.”  


“Ali Krieger I swear…if you fuck this up with Ash I wil-“  


Ali’s eyes shot up. She was hurt that her friend would even think she was capable of that. But then again, she did speak from experience. “Whit, I would never! Give me some credit, please. The last thing I need is a sexual harassment lawsuit at my firm.”  


Whit rolled her eyes. “Oh it’s just about the sexual harassment suit?” The grin plastered across her face told Ali that she was still skeptical.  


“Whit, I love Ash and that’s that. Nothing is going to happen, okay?”  


“Alright, alright. I believe you.” Her best friend was about to get engaged and she just wanted to test the waters and make sure she was truly committed.  


After a few more minutes of chatting, the conversation turning back to getting engaged later that evening, the waiter brought their check over. Ali left a few twenties on the table and then they made their way back to her car. She dropped Whit off out front of the bank where she worked before continuing to her office. After speaking with Carli for a few minutes and going over the messages that were left for her when she was out to lunch, she turned and walked into her office, shutting the door quietly behind her.  


She flicked the lights on and her papers slipped out of her hands when she was startled that someone standing in the room. Her jaw dropped at the sight before her. Before she could respond she was pushed up against the door roughly with firm hands on her waist and lips crashing on hers.  


“Jordan, wha-“


	32. The Real Surprise

Jordan’s hands held Ali’s body tightly against the door. Her hands were wrapped firmly against Ali’s waist with their bodies melded together. Her lips were warm and soft as they controlled and dictated the kiss.  


It took Ali a second to process what was happening, but even less than that to put an end to it. While her body screamed for it to continue, turned on by the way she was being dominated, her brain told her Ashlyn was the only one. She instinctively lifted her hands up and firmly pushed Jordan away from her. Jordan bit her lip and looked innocuously back up at her.  


Ali wiped her mouth with the back of her hand while trying to compose her thoughts. “What the hell was that?” she finally hissed. She wanted to scream it, but her secretary was right outside and she didn’t want to make a scene.  


The look on Jordan’s face quickly changed from one of desire to one of confusion as she stared back at her obviously upset boss. “What do you mean? I thought…I thought this is what you wanted?” she stammered while taking a step back as well.  


Ali took a few more steps away, creating more distance between them and adding her desk as an extra layer of separation. “What would make you think that?” she said with an exasperated glare. Her voice was still hushed, but there was no mistaking her true feelings based on the tone which she said it with. A million thoughts were flowing through her mind and she couldn’t believe what had just happened.  


“The way you were flirting with me earlier? I thought…I-“  


An incensed Ali quickly cut her off. “You thought based on that interaction that I wanted you to throw yourself on me when I came back from lunch?” She felt bad as the look on Jordan’s face now changed to one of embarrassment, but couldn’t control herself. “Are you out of your mind?”  


Jordan’s head dropped to the floor, her eyes settling on the tips of her pointy high-heeled shoes. “I’m sorry. I obviously misread the situation,” she said quietly, before becoming a bit bolder. “But to be honest the way you were looking at me wasn’t completely innocent either. And can you really blame me? You’re a gorgeous, powerful woman.”  


Ali was taken aback by her brazenness, but knew there was no use in arguing it. She hadn’t chosen her words as carefully and her eyes had done quite a bit of wandering. Although she clearly hadn’t expected her slight flirting to lead to this, she did play a part in leading her on a bit. Mentally, she accepted her role in the misunderstanding and decided to go a bit easier on her. Her face relaxed a bit and she eased up on her harsh tone. “It’s alright. You’re very attractive too and if the circumstances were different, then maybe it would have worked. Let’s just pretend this didn’t happen alright?”  


She said it as if she was helping Jordan out and just willing to sweep it under the rug, but in reality she knew that this couldn’t get out at work or she would be in big trouble with Parker and Dunn. The last thing she needed was a sexual harassment lawsuit or to have this spread through the rumor mill.  


Jordan smiled shyly and nodded, glad that her boss seemed a bit less angry. Although her body was still throbbing with want, she was glad that Ali was going to let it slide. “Thanks,” she mumbled quietly. “Whoever gave you those flowers is a very lucky woman,” she said sincerely before turning and walking out of the office.  


As Jordan pulled the door closed behind her, Ali plopped down in her chair and held her face in her palms. Her heart was still beating fast and her dress had become wrinkled. How had she gotten herself into this mess? Although she had almost immediately stopped it, she knew that she would have to tell Ashlyn exactly what happened. The thought of that made her want to crawl up in a ball under a desk, but there was no way around it. An honest relationship meant no lies, no matter what. She just hoped that Ash would understand and wouldn’t take it the wrong way.  


Ali picked up her work phone and quickly dialed Whit’s number. It was probably best to talk it over with someone before she confessed to Ashlyn.  


“Hey what’s up, Ali? Did I leave something in your car or do you just miss me that much already?” she said in a teasing tone.  


“Whit, I have something serious to talk to you about.”  


Whit immediately picked up on the fact that this was not a playful phone call. “Tell me what happened.”  


For the next five minutes Ali filled her in on exactly what had happened. She spared no details, even how aroused she had become when Jordan had her pinned to the door. Whit had let out an audible “gross”, but continued to listen without interrupting. When Ali finally finished and paused, Whit offered a response.  


“And you’re calling me because you want to know how to tell Ash?”  


“Exactly” Ali breathed out. She sat back in her chair and put her feet up on the desk. With her eyes closed she waited for an answer.  


“Well you can’t tell Ash tonight. You know that right?”  


Ali sat forward in her chair. She hadn’t thought about holding off on telling Ashlyn. Honesty meant being honest no matter what, right? “What do you mean?”  


“Alex, the woman is going to propose today and you want to tell her right before that that some intern threw herself on you? She could have gone through a lot of planning for tonight and you don’t want to ruin the night.”  


Ali thought on it for a moment. Whit certainly had a point. On one hand, she could hold off and tell Ashlyn in a few days so that the proposal wouldn’t be ruined. On the other hand she could be completely honest and get it all out in the open before she proposed. Both sides had pros and cons and she hemmed and hawed between both options.  


Whit quickly picked up on that. “She’s not going to decide not to marry you because of this Ali. It was a misunderstanding and Ashlyn loves you and forgive you for it. But ruining the proposal that she could have spent a lot of time and thought on could prove to be more detrimental. Whatever you choose is up to you, but I just want you to see both sides.”  


“Thanks, Whit,” she said as she pulled her feet off the top of her desk. “I’ve got to get back to work, but I’ll definitely think about it.”  


“Call me later?” Whit offered.  


“Of course. I’ll let you know how everything goes. Love you,” she added as she placed the phone gently down on the receiver.  


She sat there for a few minutes processing everything. Whit was right, she couldn’t tell Ashlyn about what had happened with Jordan right before she was about to propose. She made a mental note to tell her in a few days before clicking on the computer monitor and reading through some emails that had come through while she was out at lunch.  


After a few minutes a reminder popped up:  


Go over case files with Jordan  


She let out a muted, but audible groan and clicked the intercom button. “Carli can you send Jordan in in five minutes?”  


“Of course,” came a muffled voice from the other end. “I’ll give her a call right now.”  


Ali swiveled in her chair and rolled over to a tall, wooden filing cabinet. She pulled out a stack of file folders and began to dig through them. This was a case she had been working on or quite some time and would be handing off some of the responsibility to Jordan for the summer. At the moment she was the last person she wanted to be working alongside, but Parker had hired her and knew that she was a valuable addition to the team.  


A few minutes later, there was a light, almost inaudible knock on her door.  


“Come in,” she called, setting the files down on the table in her office.  


Jordan sauntered into the room with a polite smile, acting as if nothing had happened. This made Ali happy and they were able to quickly cut through the awkwardness as they dove into the case files. Ali was pleasantly surprised at the knowledge that Jordan possessed and how well they worked together and made a note to tell Parker how well she was doing already. Her notes were thorough and detailed and Ali felt confident in handing off the files to her.  


Around 5pm her phone vibrated and they were pulled out of their intense work state. Ali excused herself and pushed away from the table. Her phone was still in her purse, so she pulled it out and checked the messages. There was one from Ashlyn that read, “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” Ali thought that Ashlyn had said she would swing by after she called and told her she was leaving work, but figured it must have been part of her plan. Even though she wasn’t at a good spot to leave off on the work with Jordan, she didn’t want to ruin Ashlyn’s plans, if that was the reason. She quickly typed back, “Okay I’ll meet you downstairs in 15 minutes.” She didn’t want to sound overly excited so she left off the smiley face emoticon that she usually added to the end of her texts.  


She turned back to the table, with a big smile on her face. Jordan caught on, “Who was that?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.  


It didn’t faze Ali that the intern was asking about her personal life. After the intimate moment they had already shared, she felt like they were well past that phase. “That was the woman who sent me these flowers,” she said with a grin. Hopefully if Jordan saw how happy she was with Ash she would realized the need to back off. “I actually have to call it a day for today because I have big plans with Ashlyn tonight.”  


Jordan sweetly smiled and nodded her head. “Do you mind if I finish reading these in here when you leave? It’ll be easier than carrying all the boxes back to my desk.”  


Ali shook her head, “Of course not. It wouldn’t make sense for you to pack them all up and move them. Feel free to stay as late as you want.”  


“Thanks,” said Jordan with sincere kindness. “And I meant what I said earlier, I’m really sorry I acted like that. Ashlyn’s a lucky girl.”  


Ali smiled in return as she quickly packed her things up in her purse. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she called over her shoulder as she exited her office.  


Everything had worked itself out. Jordan had backed off and seemed sincere in her well wishes, she was going to talk to Ash about it later and she was about to get engaged to the love of her life. It couldn’t get any better.  


The smile that was plastered on her face, grew even larger as she saw Ashlyn standing outside her building, leaning against a stone statue, dressed in her military fatigues. Her jaw almost dropped and her heart began to race as she took in the sight of Ashlyn standing before her. Her toned muscles were on full display with the tight fit of the uniform. Ashlyn knew how crazy she drove Ali in her uniform and it had the desired effect that night as it always did.  


Ali dropped her purse beside and ran into Ashlyn’s arms. Ash had about two seconds to react to the hurling ball that was coming at her and she quickly opened her arms to catch Ali.  


She planted a kiss on Ashlyn’s lips, and before she was able to speak whispered hotly in her ear, “You know what that uniform does to me, right? I think you should take me to your place before we head out tonight.”  


What was usually met with fire and an equal desire, was instead met with anguish and hurt. Ashlyn pulled away from Ali with a serious look falling across her face.  


“Alex, stop I need to talk to you.” She stared deep into Ali’s eyes and the pain was unmistakable. Not that Ashlyn was able to hide her feelings from Ali to begin with, but this was different. The pain and hurt was evident from the look in her eyes to her slumped posture and sagging shoulders.  


“What babe? What happened?” Ali grabbed Ashlyn’s hands and held them tight. Her mind immediately flashed to Jordan and thinking about how she could have possibly found out about them. She wanted to immediately jump in and tell her what happened, to set the record straight, but before she was able to speak, the words that left Ashlyn’s mouth shattered her heart into a million tiny pieces.  


“They’re sending me back, Alex,” she said through tear soaked eyes and a cracking voice. “They’re sending me back to Iraq.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd you guys think??


	33. The Fallout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And to think Jordan is the least of their worries right now!  
> Warning: there's more heartbreak to follow, but you guys can handle it ;)

Ali crumpled, tears streaming unconsciously down her ghostly white face. This time Ashlyn wasn’t fast enough to catch her and she dropped to the ground, landing soundly on her knees, covering her face with her palms in utter shock. The words that Ashlyn said had completely sucked the life out of her in a matter of seconds. Gasping for air that refused to fill her lungs, her mind was running a million miles a minute as she tried to process everything. One by one she repeated the words in her mind, but still couldn’t grasp it. How had this happened? She was supposed to be inactive, having already served her time. Was there even going to be a proposal? How long would she be gone for? What did this mean for them? She knew there was no way to find the answers inside herself, so she finally brought her gaze up and met Ashlyn’s dark, saddened eyes.  


Seeing Ali in that state broke Ashlyn’s heart in so many ways. This was never what she intended and to be honest, she hadn’t quite been able to wrap her mind around it either. She wanted to speak and reassure Ali that everything was going to be okay, but she knew that wasn’t the case and that’s not what she needed to hear at the moment. She needed to hear the truth, no matter how painful it was to take.  


She lifted Ali’s face gently with her hand and locked eyes. The glimmer in her eyes was gone, Ali looked so empty inside. Without a word she lifted her off the pavement and carried her in her arms to the corner where her Jeep was parked. She set her in the passenger seat and gently pulled the seatbelt across her lap. Ali was too stunned to speak yet, but Ashlyn knew it was best to get her away from work where they could talk in private. Luckily, no one had been outside when she collapsed and hopefully she would be spared the prying questions at work the next day. The last thing she needed on top of all of this was rumors flying around at work.  


Ash drove in silence, occasionally looking over at Ali who still had a blank look across her face as she lifelessly stared out the window. She wanted nothing more than to reach out and comfort her, but she needed time to process and Ashlyn respected her and the situation enough to give her all the time she needed. She flicked her blinker on and exited the freeway heading towards her house. She had expected that Ali would fight her and want to go back to her own house, but she remained silent, tear still cascading down her hollow face. After a few more turns Ashlyn pulled into her driveway. She put the car in park and sat back in her seat, unsure of the next course of action. Ali still hadn’t said a word since she had told her and with every moment of silence, Ashlyn could feel her slipping further and further away.  


“Come on, Alex. Let me get you inside, please.”  


Ali didn’t respond with words, but simply pushed open the door and stepped down onto the pavement. She walked to the front door and waited for Ashlyn to open it before strolling in and plopping down on the couch. Ashlyn sat down across from her on the opposite couch, waiting.  


Finally, the tears slowed and Ali wiped the remaining ones from her face. She pushed the loose strands of damp hair behind her ear and turned to face Ashlyn. Her thoughts were composed, but her voice wavered. “How did this happen? You said you never had to go back…you said that…” She trailed off and dropped her head down, seemingly defeated.  


The pain and confusion in her cracking voice sent yet another wave of hurt surging through Ashlyn’s veins. “Alex, I don’t even know where to start. I wasn’t completely honest about something, but I did it to protect you. I wasn’t completely up on my eight years of service. Today was actually supposed to be the last day of eligibility, but they decided to send me back to help clean up some things over there. This wasn’t supposed to happen. They told me I wouldn’t have to go back. I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry.”  


What started as sadness and confusion quickly turned to anger as Ashlyn finished her confession. Ali’s eyes darted up and this time they were red not from crying, but red with anger. “What? You mean this whole time you knew you could go back? Why the hell would you lie about that?”  


Ashlyn was caught off-guard by how quickly Ali’s demeanor had changed. She struggled to find the right words and managed to stutter, “I…I…I didn’t want you to worry! This wasn’t supposed to happen, Alex! You think I did this on purpose to hurt you?”  


“Ashlyn, how could you?” she screamed as she swiftly stood up from the couch. There was no containing the emotions that were surging through her. She was broken inside and Ash was the only one to blame. “How could you not tell me this?”  


“It wasn’t supposed to happen, Alex. I didn’t want you to worry about something that wasn’t going to matter!” Her voice was raised now too as she took the defensive. She wished Ali would see that she was hurting too, but knew that she needed her time to vent before she could look at both sides.  


“WELL IT FUCKING HAPPENED! And thanks to your brilliant judgment I had no warning. Jesus, Ash, is this what your big surprise was? Because let me tell you, there’s going to be no celebrating tonight!” She began pacing back and forth across the living room trying to gather her thoughts. With so many emotions circling through her, there was a struggle to sort them all out. She couldn’t believe that after everything they had opened up about and shared, that she would choose to keep this to herself. They were supposed to share the burden, but Ali felt she was the only one carrying it now.  


“Obviously this wasn’t the surprise. We were supposed to celebrate being officially over with my service…” she became quiet and sunk lower into the couch with slumped shoulders.  


“Are you joking me? I thought you were going to propose tonight, Ash! Could I be any more on an idiot?” She couldn’t even look at Ashlyn as she said it, but laughed to herself at the ridiculousness of it all. How could she have been so naïve?  


Ashlyn perked up a bit, her face scrunched in confusion. Had she heard her right? “You thought…you thought I was proposing?”  


“Yeah, well I’m an idiot I guess.”  


Ash stood up and closed the distance between them. Thinking back on the events of the day she realized how Ali could have come to that conclusion. While she wanted nothing more than to marry Ali, it wasn’t the time now. There was so much uncertainty and confusion at the moment. She gently grabbed Ali’s arms, expecting her to pull away. When she didn’t, Ashlyn continued, “Ali I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you and I didn’t mean to lead you on like that. I would love to marry you one day, but things are obviously a bit complicated right now. I don’t leave for another week so there’s time to work through this.”  


With every word that left her mouth, Ali’s resolve dropped another level. Ash was admitting that with her going away, there was too much uncertainty in their relationship to fully commit. “One week?” she muttered underneath her breath with a chuckle.  


“Yes, next Monday I ship out. And you're not the only one who's upset about this, Alex! How do you think I feel?” She was getting angry that Ali couldn't see it from her perspective. She was hurting and scared too.  


Ali lost it and ripped herself free from Ash’s grasp. “You think all of this can be repaired in one week? You’re out of your god damn mind, Ashlyn! I can’t believe you did this to me, to us. You knew this could happen. You had time to prepare yourself for the possibility, You knew all along that this could happen, but no I just get this huge bomb dropped on me out of nowhere.” She cringed at the pun that escaped her lips, but was too fired up to backtrack. The anger was back again and this time it showed in both the tone and the level of her voice. “Ash, we said no more lies! We opened up about everything and I told you things that I hadn’t told anyone before. I opened myself up to you and you still kept a part of yourself hidden! If you didn’t think I was strong enough to handle this then I don’t know why you even bothered with me. I thought you respected me and this relationship enough to not keep secrets, but obviously I was wrong!”  


Now the tears were sliding down Ashlyn’s cheeks. She could tell that Ali was hurting and it killed her to know that she was the cause of it. All of her attempts to protect the woman she loved always backfired and she already felt defeated. She had only wanted to shelter her from any hurt or worry, but it had made everything so much worse. Even though she didn’t expect to go back, she knew in the back of her mind that there was a sliver of a chance they would send her back. Ali on the other hand was left completely aloof, and now she was crushed and it was all Ashlyn’s fault. Maybe Ali was better off without her as a burden. “I’m sorry,” was all she was able to get out, quietly.  


Ali became even more incensed that Ashlyn had just given up so easily. She wasn’t even going to fight for her and try to put the pieces of their relationship back together. She tried to find Ashlyn’s eyes, but she refused to make eye contact. That was it. She was done. “Yeah me too,” she retorted as she stormed out of the house, slamming the door soundly behind her.


	34. The Dilemma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter goes back and forth between Ali and Ash to give both sides of the story!

Ali woke up the next morning in her bed. Her puffy eyes and the empty space next to her reminded her that last night’s events hadn’t just been a bad dream. She pulled herself from the warmth of the covers and dragged her feet into the shower. With the case she was working on going to court soon, she couldn’t miss any time. As much as she wanted to curl up in her dark condo forever, she had to pull herself together. After a quick shower, she stepped out and toweled herself off. The skin on her back was tinted red due to the heat of the shower, but she felt nothing. She wasn’t sure whether being numb or feeling the actual hurt and pain was worse.  


As she pulled her outfit on, she thought back to last night’s events. When she stormed out, there had been part of her that wished that Ashlyn would have chased after her. She hoped that she wanted to fight for it, to reassure her that they would be just fine. However, when she didn’t she knew her assumptions had been correct. If their relationship was worth fighting for Ashlyn would have done something, anything, besides sit mutely on the couch. She had walked around for a bit before finally calling a cab to take her back to her car. Every two minutes she would check her phone, but there were no calls or texts from Ashlyn. Defeated, she had simply slumped into bed and cried herself to sleep.

The ride to work seemed slower and more painful than usual. She couldn’t help but listen to a tape of their conversation playing over and over again. She analyzed every word, every statement, but still couldn’t wrap her head around it. Ashlyn was a fighter and always had been. But where was that fight when she needed it the most? The image of Ashlyn sitting on the couch, dejected and defeated made her cringe, but the Ashlyn she knew would not have been beaten so easily.  


She hurried into the office, a bit later than usual, and quickly locked herself in her office after telling Carli not to forward any calls that weren’t strictly work related. Carli nodded, but couldn’t help noticing that the cheery Ali that was at the office yesterday had been replaced by a solemn, somber one. Still, she made the note not to allow any personal calls through and went back to her work.  


Ali tried to forget about it all by burying herself in her work. After a few hours she decided to check her phone and groaned when she saw one from Whit. With everything that had happened she had completely forgotten to call her last night. She opened the text and it read:  


How’s my newly engaged best-friend? I’m not even going to be mad that you didn’t call me because I’m sure you were pretty busy last night ;)  


She slammed the phone down on her desk and felt like she was going to throw up after reading Whit’s text. Unsure of what to tell her, she simply ignored it and turned back to her work. Another few hours of pouring through case files did her well and for a brief moment she was able to push the thought of Ashlyn and the previous night from her thoughts.  


A light knock on the door peeled her eyes up from the document she was reading. “Oh hey, Jordan. I take it you’re ready to go through your notes on the case?”  
Jordan smiled and nodded, “Is now a good time? I can always come back.” She was a bit taken aback by the shortness of Ali’s answers. She thought they were past the awkwardness of their earlier encounter.  


Immediately Ali realized that her tone had been very curt and she softened her face and voice, “Now is as good a time as any. Why don’t you pull up a chair?”  


____________  


When Ashlyn woke up the next morning she wanted to kick herself. She couldn’t believe that she had just let Ali walk away without a fight. On top of that, she also knew she owed her a better explanation of everything. After a quick shower she took a seat outside on her front porch and dialed her number. It rang and when there was no answer, she sighed and hung up. What she wanted to say needed to be done in person, not over a message.  


____________  


She spent the next few hours poring over notes with Jordan. Again she was pleasantly surprised by the detail and thorough analysis she had done in such a short time. Putting their first and second meeting aside, Ali couldn’t help but think how easily they conversed and worked together Now that they had established some boundaries, the tension between them was gone, although glances would occasionally linger longer than warranted. She was just finishing up her explanation of a witness deposition when her cell phone began ringing. Even though Jordan was in the office, she quickly walked over to her purse and rummaged around to find her phone in the messy contents.  


It was Whit. Accidentally, she clicked “accept” when she had been floundering around for the “ignore: button. She sighed and held the phone up to her ear, only to hear her frantic best friend chirping on the other end. “ALI KRIEGER HOW HAVE YOU NOT CALLED ME BACK YET?”  


Ali could immediately tell that Whitney was not at all pleased with her and rightfully so. The night before Whit had been so excited for her and Ali had promised numerous times that she would call her after. But that was before the bomb dropped; before her heart had shattered in a million pieces. She didn’t want to get into it right then, but Whit was not going to take no for an answer. Her silence only egged Whit on more. “Alex? Alex, can you tell me what the hell is going on?”  


She shot a look at Jordan who pretended well enough to be looking over files and not eavesdropping. Still, Ali turned her back towards her and faced out towards the window. “Whit, I can’t really get into it right now, but last night was not at all what I expected.”  


She could tell instantly by Ali’s voice that things had not gone well. “You can’t leave me hanging like this, Alex. What happened? I’ve been worried about you all day!”  


As much as Ali didn’t want to rehash the events she owed Whit an answer, no matter how short it was. “She didn’t propose and she’s getting deployed back to Iraq in a week. Apparently she lied about being done with active duty.”  


Her words were met with silence on the other end. She could hear Whit breathing, but no immediate response came. Finally, Whit composed her thoughts and offered, “Oh shit, Ali. I’m so sorry.”  


“Yeah well so am I.” She glanced back towards Jordan who was jotting down some notes. Satisfied, she turned back to the window and continued whispering. “We got in a huge fight. I left and she didn’t come after me. We haven’t spoken since.”  


“Holy shit,” Whit sighed heavily. “You left after she told you she was being deployed again?”  


“Yes.” She didn’t like Whit’s tone or where she was going with this.  


“Alex, I know the whole night kind of flip-flopped on you, but think about it from her standpoint. Regardless that she lied, she’s going to war next week and you just left her. 

Don’t you think she’s just as upset and scared as you are if not more?”  


Ali sighed. As always, Whit had a point, but she still needed to stand up for her actions. “But I left and she didn’t come after me. She just said she was sorry and sat there, watching me leave. Why wouldn’t she come after me?” As hard as she tried, she couldn’t fight the tears that were forming in the corner of her eyes.  


“Alex, they’re not alwaysss going to chase after you.” She was referring to Lexi and they both knew it, but Ali decided not to comment on it. “Ashlyn loves you and just wants you to be happy. Maybe she thought the best thing was to let you go before it got worse.”  


“Shit,” she said in a hushed tone, “What did I do? I think I blew it, Whit.”  


“Just go talk to her, Alex. You guys have been through worse. Just talk to her and get everything out in the open.”  


Ali breathed a sigh of relief. Whit was right, they had been through worse. “You’re right. I’m going to head there after work. I promise I’ll actually call you after I leave.”  


“You better,” said a stern voice on the other end. “Goodluck, Alex.”  


With her thumb she ended the call and then turned around. Jordan glanced up from the pages she was reading over, but didn’t say anything. Ali hoped she hadn’t heard too much of the conversation. Unfortunately, she was wrong and Jordan couldn’t ignore the tears in her eyes.  


“Are you okay?” she asked. The sincerity in her voice was evident as she leaned in closer and placed an arm around Ali’s shoulder.  


____________  


“Excuse me, I’m looking for Ali Krieger? Could you tell me where her office is?”  


Carli looked up from her computer to see a blonde haired woman smiling brightly back at her. She set the coffee mug that she was holding down and smiled back. “I’m sorry, but Miss. Krieger has asked me not to allow any personal calls or visits today. I can take a message for you if you’d like.”  


The blonde's face dropped and Carli couldn’t help, but feel for her as she simply replied, “No it’s alright. I’ll just try her cell again I guess.” She turned around and began to slump back towards the front door.  


The hopeless romantic in Carli couldn’t send her away. She knew exactly who this woman was and figured it had something to do with the sour look on Ali's face that morning. “Miss?”  


The blonde turned around and looked at her hopefully.  


“Her office is the last one on the right. I’m going to get up and go to the bathroom.” She winked at her and stood up, vacating the guard post Ali had assigned her for the day.  


___________  


Ali stayed sitting straight up, not allowing herself to sink into Jordan’s arms. Although her touch was comforting, that’s all it was going to be, a comforting touch. No matter what happened between her and Ash, she wasn’t going to let herself go down that road with Jordan. “Yeah, I’m alright. I apologize for getting upset like this. It’s very unprofessional of me.” She tried to discreetly wipe her falling tears away, but she wasn’t fooling anybody.  


Jordan scooted her chair a bit closer, concerned about Ali’s upset state. Her boss wasn’t melting into her, but she also hadn’t pulled away either so she figured she hadn’t stepped over any lines. After their talk the prior day, she knew not to push her luck, but still couldn’t help but feel for Ali as she sat in her office crying. “You can’t always be a rock, you know? It’s okay to lean on others for help. You can tell me what happened if you’d like.”  


____________  


Ashlyn waited until the secretary had scurried into the bathroom before heading down the hall. Her heart was beating out of chest and she was more nervous than she had been in a long time. She needed Ali to listen to the full truth and to understand everything. After that she could make whatever decision she wanted, but she needed to know the truth and how Ashlyn felt about her first. She needed to let Ali know how much she loved her and that if she wanted, she would do anything to keep them together. She wasn't sure if Ali would listen, but she would always regret it if she didn't try.  


She approached the door and was just about to knock when she heard two voices inside. They were both female voices and Ashlyn was afraid she was about to interrupt a meeting so she held off for a moment hoping the woman would leave in a few minutes.  


____________  


“Wow that’s awful,” Jordan replied as Ali finished telling her the story of the previous night. She hadn’t wanted to tell her, but couldn’t control herself and Jordan seemed genuinely interested. “You had quite the day yesterday,” she added apologetically. She knew she had been part to blame for the bad turn her life took the day before.  


Ali nodded and wiped the stray tears away with the corner of her sleeve. She could feel Jordan begin to rub her back and wasn’t sure if it was completely platonic. While it was something Whit could do without her giving it a second thought, was this different? She looked up and gave Jordan a slightly discerning look, slightly distancing herself.  


Jordan shook her head and threw her arm up to surrender. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to kiss you again like yesterday,” she said with a shy giggle that made Ali laugh at the awkwardness of the day before as well. What had her life come to?  


____________  


AGAIN? Did that woman just say, I won’t kiss you again? LIKE YESTERDAY? Ashlyn discreetly peered through the blinds. And why the fuck is her arm wrapped around Ali?


	35. The Box

“So what are you going to do to get her back?” asked Jordan as she sat back in her seat.

The question caught Ali off guard at first. She wasn’t sure if that was due to the content of the question or the fact that it was coming from Jordan. Her face wrinkled as she looked back at her in confusion.

Jordan could immediately tell where her look was coming from and rolled her eyes. She was clearly going to have to spell it out for her boss. “Look,” she sighed. “I know things got a bit crazy yesterday between us, but I can obviously tell that you love her. I’m not heartless you know?”

Ali’s eyes dropped to the floor and she found herself fiddling with the corner of the paper she was reading. There was no denying that Jordan had a point. She had just sat there for half an hour listening to her cry about her girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend and was truly trying to comfort her. Ali didn’t even know what side was up anymore. Somehow, talking to Whitney and Jordan had helped her work through everything in her mind. She realized that although she was right to be upset with Ashlyn, she had clearly not handled the situation the right way. Ashlyn had to be scared too and Ali had just turned her back on her.  


“You should go talk to her,” she said assuredly, yanking Ali from the pity party going on in her mind.

Jordan grabbed the file folders sitting in front of Ali and pulled them away from her. “You should go talk to Ashlyn. I can finish up here.”

At first she shook her head, but Jordan wasn’t taking no for an answer. “Seriously. GO,” she said, practically pushing Ali out of her chair.

She was out the door and into her car within five minutes. Although she was unsure of how Ashlyn would react, she was the only woman she wanted to be with and she needed to set things straight with her before she left for good. A smile broke out across her face as she hit the freeway, the bright sun shining in through the windows. Tonight, she was going to erase all the wrong doings of the prior night.

Her phone vibrated and she excitedly picked it up to see a text from Ashlyn. She smiled as she opened it, glad that Ash had been thinking about her and was reaching out. That smile was torn from her face very quickly as she read the contents of the message.

"You can come get your box of things. I’ll leave it on the porch for you so we don’t have to bother seeing each other."

Ali swerved off the road, sliding to a stop on the gravel shoulder inches from the barrier. She read and re-read the text over and over and still couldn’t figure out why it sounded so hostile. How had it gotten to this point? Ashlyn didn’t even want to see her anymore, let alone try to repair their relationship.

Ali couldn’t believe that Ashlyn would just give up like that. So many emotions were swirling through her mind. She wanted to scream and cry and at the same time, she wanted to give Ashlyn a piece of her mind. They had fights before so why was this so different? 

Carefully, she pulled back on the freeway. The sun was still beaming into the car and she put the top back and let her hair down so she could feel it whipping in the wind. Up until the exit she was still unsure of where she was going, but when Ashlyn’s exit came up she quickly swerved to the right. The car behind her blared on their horn, but she didn’t care. Her day was already ruined and this asshole was the least of her worries, so she flipped him the middle finger and turned her music up even louder.  


She pulled into Ashlyn’s driveway hoping to see her Jeep sitting there so she could make her talk. Her smile faded when she saw it was empty. As she was pulling back out, something caught her eye. There was a large box on the porch. Ashlyn had actually left her box of things on the porch. Ali slammed the car into park and stormed up onto the porch. There was no note or explanation on the box and inside was everything of hers, strewn about haphazardly. Not just the sweaters and clothes Ashlyn had borrowed or Ali had aimlessly left over, but every article that could possibly remind Ashlyn of their fleeting relationship. There were movie ticket stubs and the teddy bear Ali had won her at the fair. She dug to the bottom and pulled out her favorite Notre Dame hoodie that Ashlyn had snuck out of her closet one night.

_“Um excuse me. What do you think you’re doing?” Ali shot Ashlyn an accusatory glare as she noticed Ash slinking out of her closet with a sly grin._

_Her warning glances only made Ashlyn snuggle tighter into the hoodie she had commandeered, wrapping the end of the sleeves tight around her hands and swinging her arms freely about like a cheerful child. “Nothing,” she replied innocently as she batted her eyelashes at Ali. She knew it was Ali’s favorite hoodie, but she had no intention of giving it back to her./ ___

_Ali took a few steps closing the distance between them. “I think you have something of mine…” Her voice trailed off, insinuating that she was waiting for answer./ ___

_“Your heart?” Ashlyn teased with a wide grin splashed across her face and crinkled nose._

_Ali couldn’t help but smile at Ashlyn’s corniness and childlike personality. She looked back at her trying to maintain a stern face to keep up her facade, “Besides that? I think that’s my Women’s Soccer National Championship Notre Dame hoodie you’ve got on there. The one that took four years of blood, sweat and tears to finally win. And by the looks of it, you think you’re actually going to take it home with you.”_

_“Well maybeee.” She grinned even bigger, flashing her brilliant smile at her girlfriend._

_Ali couldn’t take it anymore and her firm face melted, replaced by a smile stretching ear to ear as she looked at Ashlyn with complete adoration. “I’m never going to get that one back am I?” she asked with a laugh as she rubbed Ashlyn’s arm and felt the familiar softness of her favorite sweater._

_Ashlyn shook her head from side to side with complete exaggeration. “Nope,” she said, making a point to pop the p sound, but then turned and shot Ali the eyes. “Unless you can take it from me.” The look she was giving now was no longer teasing, it was sultry and her hooded eyes matched that sentient._

_“Oh I don’t actually think getting you out of that would be too difficult,” Ali teased as she took a step forward and pulled Ashlyn in for a deep kiss, wrapping her arms loosely around her._

_“Oh yeah?” Ashlyn didn’t break away from the kiss as she teased her back._

_“It wouldn’t be too difficult at all,” she replied, moving her hands lower down Ashlyn’s back, down to her butt and pulling her in tight to her._

_Ash leaned in and whispered hotly into Ali's ear, “Prove it.”_

The tears began rolling as Ali reminisced on that night together. She had been right and stripped it off Ash in less than a minute, but somehow she had still managed to smuggle it out of her place and wore it almost every night before bed. The stray tears picked up even more when Ali stood on her tip toes and peeked in the front window of Ashlyn’s house. Inside the front hallway was a large, camo duffel bag, stuffed to the brim. A similar looking backpack was lying next to it, with HARRIS embroidered into it in bold, black lettering above the equally bold U.S. Army logo. It was just another painful reminder that Ashlyn was leaving her in more ways than one. 

Feeling defeated, Ali slinked back to the car and sped off. She couldn’t believe it was going to end like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little fluff in this one, but I promise it's setting something up for the next chapter!


	36. The Last Hurrah

Ashlyn pulled into her driveway four days later. She had flown out to visit her parents and brother before being deployed. After the whole Ali fiasco she had decided to leave her phone at home. Her family was the only ones who really mattered at that point and she didn’t want to waste the little time she had with them being tormented by Ali over the phone. It had been a few years since she had visited them in Florida and the comfort of home and the familiar beaches were just what she needed to get her mind right before she shipped out.

________

“She’s leaving in two days, Whit.” Ali sat forward in her chair, clearly upset.

“I know Ali. Have you been able to get a hold of her?” Whit replied as she took a bite of her sandwich.

“No, she hasn’t answered or returned any of my calls or texts. I’ve gone by her house every day after work and she’s never there. And I’m pretty sure she either blocked my calls or just turned her phone off because now they’re all going straight to voicemail.” She hung her head and pushed the plate away. Since her fight with Ashlyn she had had little appetite and the results of that were evident. Her face had thinned out and skin was paler than usual considering the amount of time she spent in the Californian sun.

Whit pushed her fries around on her plate while biting the side of her cheek. She felt for Ali, but didn’t know what else she could even do. Her friend was slowly sinking back into her shell and she felt hopeless to help her. She had noticed Ali wasn’t eating and rarely smiled the past week. Even Whit had tried to call Ashlyn, without telling Ali, hoping she would answer the unknown number, but she didn’t have any luck. “I’m sorry, Ali. I wish there was something I could do.”

“Yeah well,” replied Ali with crossed arms. “I wish there was something I could do too.”

Seeing the hurt in her eyes, Whit knew she needed to do something to draw Ali out before it was too late. It was becoming the downfall after Lexi all over again and that couldn’t happen. “Hey, Meg and I are going to hit up the bar tonight. I really think you should come. It’ll be good for you to get out.” She shrugged and gave Ali a “what would it hurt” look before chomping on her sandwich again.

Ali rolled her eyes as a thin string of cheese stuck to Whit’s chin. In her momentary lapse of happiness, she nodded. “Alright, I guess.”

Whit briefly choked on the bite that was in her mouth. She was shocked by Ali’s answer. “Oh…um…okay. I’ll tell Meg!” She quickly recovered and whipped out her phone, wanting to confirm with Meg before Ali had time to change her mind.

_________

As Ash climbed out of her Jeep, the first thing she noticed was that the box of Ali’s things had been removed from her front porch. All except for one thing, her championship hoodie. Ashlyn stepped towards it and grabbed it off the ground, running the soft fabric over her skin. The screen print on the front was slightly faded and she noticed the small rip in the hoodie pocket from when Ali had grabbed her and pulled her down on top of her in bed. She pressed it to her face and took a deep breath. It even still smelled like Ali. She flashed back to the night where she had stolen it from her and had to force the smile off of her face. How she wished things had ended differently, but Ali had made her decision.

_____

“How does this look?”

Ali glanced up and examined Whit. She was wearing skin-tight black jeans with a form fitting red, low cut top. “It looks good. Are you going to wear it with your black heels?”

She shook her head. “No, I’m going to wear it with your black heels. Those strappy ones I love.”

Ali rolled her eyes and walked over to her closet to dig out the heels Whit was looking for. As she found them in her heap of shoes she laughed, thinking that Whit might as well keep them since she wore them so often. She handed the shoes to Whit who gave her a quick up and down.

“Is that what you’re wearing tonight?” she asked skeptically.

“I’m not really in the mood to impress anyone tonight.”

Whit knew she was lucky that Ali had even agreed to come out with them so she shrugged and slipped on the heels. After examining herself in the mirror she decided she looked great and turned back to Ali. “You ready?”

“Ready when you are,” Ali retorted as she grabbed her keys and purse off the bed next to her.

________

After unpacking and a quick shower, Ashlyn trudged over to the couch and kicked her feet up. Since she was heading overseas in two days she figured she might as well get her fair share of primetime junk TV in before she was deprived for nine months. As she fumbled around the couch looking for the remote that was likely buried there, her eyes fell on the sweater that Ali had left her. With the memories that it brought back there was no way that she could stand to look at it for the rest of the night. Leisurely she pulled herself off the couch and walked over to where it was lying on the table. She yanked it off ready to throw it into the back of her closet when something slipped out of the front pocket. A tiny piece of newspaper fluttered like a feather, gracefully dropping to the floor.

Ashlyn bent over and plucked it off of the floor. A note was scrawled in Ali’s handwriting,

“I hope this keeps you safe and reminds you of home when you’re overseas. I love you.”

After reading it a few times she figured she had slipped it in before they had gotten into their fight. But as she looked closer, she noticed the date was from four days ago. Ali had slipped it in when she grabbed her things after the fight. She couldn’t handle it anymore and wiped away a few stray tears as she searched for her phone. Dialing a number she waited until someone picked it up.

“Hey it’s me. Yeah you want to go out tonight? I need to get out of this damn house.”

A voice on the other end responded.

“I’ll pick you up in an hour.”

Ashlyn waited for an answer.

“Yeah it’ll be my last hurrah. Something like that…” she muttered under her breath.

__________

“Slow down there, Ali,” Megan uttered as she eyed her friend down another drink in a matter of minutes.

Ali simply rolled her eyes and signaled for a waiter to bring her another round. She really wasn’t in the mood to have someone tell her what to do at the moment and liked the buzz she was beginning to feel. “So how’s work going, Meg?” She was trying to change the subject and for the time being it worked.

“It’s alright. Still dealing with my supervisor who is an ass, but nothing I can really do about it, you know? I love what I’m doing so at least that’s a plus.”

Meg turned to Whit, bringing her in on the conversation, “How about you? How’s that bank life going?”

Whit glared back in response, “Let’s not talk about it,” she said with a laugh. “Who wants to do a shot?”

Ali’s arm shot straight up in the air. “I’ll go get them. I have to use the restroom anyways. Patron or Grey Goose?”

Meg shriveled her nose and made a grossed out face at Ali. “Can you just get me something fruity, please?”

“Okay princess,” Ali snorted before heading out into the crowd in search of the bar.

_________

“Where to?” asked Niki as she sat back in the passenger seat.

“Where do you think?” replied Ashlyn with a bit more attitude than normal.

“Woah,” replied Niki as she threw her hands in the air. “I guess it’s the usual place.”

Ash felt bad and knew she needed to relax a bit. “Sorry, Nik. It’s been a pretty awful week.”

Niki reached across the car and squeezed Ashlyn’s shoulder. “That’s what I’m here for! To loosen you up a bit and get you back on your game! We can’t send Ashlyn Harris off to war without getting some first, right?” She flashed her friend a wide grin that Ashlyn knew spelled trouble.

Ashlyn groaned. With Niki, there was no saying no. It didn’t happen often, but when her partner in crime was in town she always knew that the night was going to get real rowdy real fast.

“Now wipe that frown off and let’s get ready to party!” she yelled as they swerved into a parking spot outside of their usual bar.

____________

Ali had been standing at the bar for almost ten minutes after she returned from the restroom and still hadn’t been served yet. She still wasn’t sure why Whit and Meg loved this place. It was always completely packed and the service was terrible. The alcohol was already flowing through her which definitely didn’t help with her patience. The person in front of her had been leaned over the bar with her friend talking with the waitress for almost five minutes and finally Ali snapped and gently jabbed her shoulder.

“Excuse me, but I’m pretty sure there’s other people here that would like to order drinks if you don’t mind.”

The woman in front of her turned around with a bit of a shocked face. Ali couldn’t deny that she was cute, but the words that left her mouth were definitely off-putting. “Why don’t you go find another bar then? I’m a little busy here. Freaking L.A. princesses,” she muttered under her breath as she turned back to her friend and the cute bartender who was pretending to ignore the confrontation.

Ali’s jaw dropped. While she usually would have let the comment go, she was in a mood that night. “You’d probably have better luck with one of your drunk booty calls later tonight. That bartender is too hot to go home with you.”

The girl whipped around and stepped towards Ali, “What did you just say to me?”

The bartender turned red and quickly walked away, wanting nothing to do with the fight.

“Can you believe this chick?” she said and tapped her friend on the arm to get her attention.

Her friend whipped around to see what was going on now that the bartender no longer had her attention. With a shocked face she stammered, “A…Ali?”  


“Ashlyn?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnnn ;)


	37. The Reconciliation

Ali found herself face to face with a stunned Ashlyn. She was looking hot as ever, dressed in all black with a three-quarter sleeve button up shirt and a gold bangle on her arm to complement the array of tattoos. They stared at each other in a wordless silence unsure of what to say or what was even happening, until Niki finally broke through the quiet.

“That’s Ali?” she questioned with a surprised face as she looked her up and down, a wide grin spreading across her face. “Well you sure know how to pick ‘em Harris.” She grabbed Ashlyn’s shoulder and squeezed it tightly. “I guess I’ll leave you two to talk…” her voice trailed off as she shook her head at the women and slipped away into the crowd.

They maintained their awkward eye contact until Ali finally gained the courage to ask, “Did you get my note?” There was so much more that she wanted to know and ask, but she was trying to ease into it. The question itself was loaded, if Ashlyn said yes then it meant she really was ignoring her.

“I did, but it seems like I need more protection stateside than I will overseas.” Her voice was laced with passive aggressive anger as she turned back to the bar and signaled for the bartender to bring her a shot.

Ali leaned up next to her, allowing body contact, but not much. “Make that two,” she called out as the bartender rolled her eyes and slid them over two shots. She turned her attention back to Ashlyn. “What was that supposed to mean? Look Ash, I know I totally overreacted and said things that I didn’t mean that night, but I tried to call and I stopped by every day and you never reached out to me. I tried to fix it-“

Ashlyn slammed her shot glass down on the bar and wiped the liquid from her mouth with the back of her hand, cutting Ali off in the middle of her sentence. “Well excuse me for thinking you didn’t sincerely want to try to fix things when you’re hooking up with you damn intern already!” Her eyes were dark with anger and Ali immediately felt a twinge of guilt in her stomach.

“Wh…what?” she stammered. “How did you find out about that?” She was so curious as to how Ashlyn could even know about it, that she didn’t even deny the false statement.

“Oh so it did happen? Jesus, Alex you are a piece of work! Another shot please,” she waved to the bartender, refusing to make eye contact with Ali.

Ali could feel Ash slipping even further away, if that was even possible. She placed her hand softly on Ashlyn’s arm, trying to calm her down. “Ash, nothing like that happened. She tried to kiss me that day and I pushed her off of me and told her nothing could happen. Nothing happened between us.”

“Bullshit,” said Ashlyn as she kicked her shot back and jerked her arm away. “I saw you two together in your office the night after. I came to talk to you, stupidly thinking that you wanted to resolve this, and she had her arm wrapped around you. You don’t have to lie to me Ali. You didn’t sign up to date a soldier so I don’t expect anything from you. Do whatever you want.”

Ashlyn turned and pushed away from the bar to head over to where her friend was waiting. Ali wasn’t about to go down without a fight. She roughly grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards her so that their bodies were pushed together and their faces were almost touching.

Ali could feel Ashlyn’s breath on her lips through the stillness of the air. The tension was thick and she could feel Ashlyn trying to lean back and create more distance between them. Ali maintained her tight grip, refusing to let Ashlyn run from her. “Ashlyn, I need you to listen to me and hear what I have to say and then you can do whatever you want after that. But I can’t have you go out there without knowing how I really feel.”

“And how exactly do you feel?” muttered Ashlyn as she dipped her head, breaking the eye contact. She wasn’t sure she was ready for the words that were about to leave her mouth and mentally prepared for the worst.

Ali released her grip on Ashlyn’s waist and raised her hands slowly up to her cheeks, which she took firmly in her hands. Her fingers wrapped around Ashlyn’s neck intertwining in her hair and she tenderly lifted her head so their eyes were once again level. She could see the pain that still resided there and spoke from the heart in her best attempt to repair some of the damage that had been done. “Ash, I’m so sorry. I hope you know that I love you with every part of my being. I made a mistake when I left the other night and I can’t even express with words how sorry I am for that. I was upset and scared and didn’t know what it meant for you or for us. I was angry that you didn’t come after me because I thought you were giving up on us. But I know now that none of that mattered. I should have been there for you first and foremost. I should have stayed right where I belong, which is by your side.”

Tears were slowly rolling down Ashlyn’s warm cheeks and Ali carefully wiped them off with her sleeve.

“Alex, I’m leaving for nine months.” Ashlyn spoke quietly, cutting Ali’s apology off. The last thing she wanted was for Ali to endure nine months of not knowing. Not knowing where she was, who she was with or what was happening to her. She never would have started a relationship if she knew she was going away and had always broken things off whenever she left in the past. Nothing had been close to this serious, but it was a last ditch effort to spare Ali from the pain she was sure to endure.

Ali knew she was trying to talk her out of it, but wouldn’t have it. Ashlyn was endgame for her no matter what, it just took her a little longer to realize. “It doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care about the distance, I don’t care that you kept this from me, I don’t care about the time and I certainly don’t care about that stupid intern. All I care about is my soldier.”

For the first time all week, a smile slowly crept across Ashlyn’s lips. They curled up, revealing the lone dimple that Ali always teased her about. As they maintained eye contact, Ali could see some light return to her soft hazel eyes. Instinctively, Ashlyn’s hands wrapped themselves around Ali’s lower back, pulling her in even tighter.

“Are you sure?” she asked, lips hovering a hair away from Ali’s.

“Ma’am, yes ma’am,” Ali replied, still revealing a smile as her lips crashed against Ashlyn’s.

The world seemed to stop as they locked in an embrace that wiped out all the hurt from the past week. Ali felt herself melt into Ashlyn and was glad when her strong arms wrapped tighter around her waist. A soft moan escaped from Ali’s lips as she felt the warmth of Ashlyn’s lips and the intense passion behind the kiss. Ash pulled away only for a moment to look down at Ali whose gorgeous brown eyes had turned fiery with desire. The sexy grin that swept across her face almost sent Ashlyn over the edge, but when Ali leaned in and nibbled her ear, whispering, “I think you should take me home right now so I can fuck you enough to last for the next nine months,” she lost it.

Without a word, Ashlyn grabbed Ali’s hand and dragged her away from the bar. She slapped a $20 bill in Niki’s hand, uttering, “Here’s twenty bucks for a cab,” with a wink. A shocked look spewed across Niki’s face, quickly to be replaced with a smirk as she shook her head and called out after them, “Have fun tonighttt!”

While there was so much to talk about before Ashlyn left, tonight wasn’t the time for talking. Ali couldn’t keep her hands off Ashlyn and despite the fact that she was trying to drive and already speeding home, Ashlyn didn’t have any desire to fight her wandering hands. As Ash sped down the street Ali wrapped around her, one arm draped around her neck as her lips delivered passionate open mouthed kisses, the other wandering up and down her leg. She shuddered as Ali’s fingers traced the area of exposed skin just above where her pants ended. As the streetlights and windows flew by outside her window in a foggy blur, Ashlyn tried her best to focus, thankful that her house wasn’t too far away. She wasn’t sure how much more of Ali’s teasing she could take.

Ashlyn barely turned the car off before Ali was pulling her out of the other side. Her center was throbbing after Ali’s little escapades in the car and she couldn’t wait for her to finish what she started. Ali shrieked as Ash came around the car and quickly lifted her off of her feet, gripping tightly underneath her butt. She wrapped her legs around Ashlyn’s waist, allowing herself to be carried to the door only after she buried her lips into Ashlyn’s. 

Their breathing was getting heavy as Ashlyn slammed the door behind them and stumbled to the bedroom with Ali still wrapped around her. Roughly, she threw her down on the bed, landing solidly on top of her. The roughness didn’t faze Ali, it only drove her wilder. Wasting no time, Ali wove her fingers into Ashlyn’s shirt and ripped it off, exposing her bare skin. Shen ran her fingers all over Ashlyn’s chest, taking her nipple in her mouth which made Ashlyn gasp, as she flicked her bra off with the other hand. Ashlyn hungrily pulled the shirt over Ali’s head and didn’t even bother removing her pants before slipping her hand down.

Ali moaned as she felt Ashlyn’s fingers rub over her clit, but wasn’t ready for it yet. Ashlyn was the one leaving and she promised that she would make her remember. Taking Ashlyn by surprise, Ali flipped her over, mounting her sturdily. Ashlyn’s eyes went wide, but Ali sexily smiled back and whispered, “You first baby girl.” 

Hearing her sexy voice made Ash hungrier and she simply laid on her back intensely watching Ali devour every inch of her body with open mouthed kisses, bites and licks all while pinning Ashlyn’s hands firmly above her head. 

“Fuck baby don’t tease me anymore. I want you inside me,” Ashlyn cooed as she gripped the sheets tightly in her fist. “I’m going to war, I don’t have any time to waste.”

Ali had wanted to take her time and savor the moment, but hearing Ashlyn urge her on was all she needed. Before another word could escape her mouth, Ali plunged two fingers deep inside her, as Ashlyn let out a gasp, eyes shooting wide open. Ali took her time, rhythmically moving her fingers in and out in a twisting motion while grinding down on Ashlyn’s center. She intently watched Ashlyn’s face mirror the euphoria she was feeling as their bodies melded together and moved as one. With a couple of short, deep breaths, Ali could tell that Ashlyn was about to climax and she slipped her thumb onto Ash’s clit, rubbing it gently to send her over the edge.

“Fuckkk, Alex,” she cried out into the crook of Ali’s neck as everything went black around her and her body contracted around Ali’s fingers.

Ali slowed her pace, but remained inside her as Ashlyn rode out the orgasm until her arched back dropped suddenly back on the bed and a high pitched moan escaped her lips. 

They laid silently for a few minutes with only the sound of their hurried breaths cutting through the air. Ali was still laying on top and felt Ash’s arms wrap around her after a moment. She laid her head on Ashlyn’s chest listening to her escalated heartbeat. They were so content in that moment that they could have easily fallen asleep, but there was no time to waste.

Ashlyn was aroused moments later as Ali turned her head and her hair glided gently across her neck. This time she was the one who took the top position, laying Ali flat on her back. “You think you can handle a whole night of this, champ?” she teased as she looked down at her tired girlfriend.

The sleep that had evaded, quickly left Ali’s eyes. She felt Ashlyn’s knee pressing into her between her legs and at that moment, sleep was the last thing on her mind. She grinned and shot back, “Oh please. Show me what you got soldier.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All better!!


	38. The Last Day

The next morning Ashlyn slowly woke up as beams of light filled into her room. It was a soft light as the sun hadn’t fully risen, but enough to cast rays of light into the room. She took a deep breath and stretched her legs, before taking in the sight before her.

Ali was wound tightly in her arms, peacefully sleeping, her long brown hair haphazardly strewn over her shoulder. She planted a light kiss on her exposed temple and smiled down at her. Knowing she only had one more day to form memories, Ashlyn wanted to take a moment to memorize every inch of her beautiful body. She noted how Ali’s chest was slowly rising and falling, her breaths long and calm. Ash traced her fingers along Ali’s strong arms, feeling every inch of toned muscle wrapped around them and observing each tiny freckle that dotted her sun kissed skin. Her skin was soft and smooth as she ran them down Ali’s back, tracing every rise and fall of her physique. As her fingers worked their way towards Ali’s front, running over her hips to her navel, Ali began to stir. She left out a soft moan and Ashlyn hugged her tight in her arms. She wanted to hold her every chance she could get and engrain the feeling of her touch into her memory.

The first thing Ali felt when she woke up was Ashlyn’s firm arms wrapped snugly around her. The warmth exuberating through her body was a feeling she never wanted to let go. Even though they both knew the other was awake, they laid there silently, taking in the tranquility and bliss of a moment that wouldn’t happen for the next nine months.

Finally, Ali broke out of Ashlyn’s grip turning so that they were facing each other. She cutely burrowed into the crook of her neck, letting her body melt into Ashlyn’s as her arms wrapped tight and brought her in closer. A few light kisses planted on Ashlyn’s neck made her giggle and Ali pulled back, hoping to catch a glimpse of her lone dimple. Ashlyn tightened her grip, trying to pull Ali in close again, but she squirmed from her grasp.

“You know that spot drives me crazy,” said Ashlyn with a small smile which displayed the dimple Ali was looking for.

“Oh I definitely learned that over and over again last night,” she grinned.

Ashlyn shot her a glance that feigned being mad, but couldn’t help but laugh again as Ali lightly poked her in the ribs. “Stop, I’m ticklish!” she shrieked.

“I am well aware of that,” Ali replied with a devilish grin as she climbed on top and straddled Ashlyn, continually tickling her and laughing as a flailing Ash cried out underneath her.

After a momentary lapse of weakness, Ashlyn was able to gain enough composure to wrap an arm around Ali. In one swift movement she whipped her off and laid her firmly on her back against the bed, pinning her arms above her head while assuming a similar position to the one Ali had just held. Ali looked up at her with wide eyes, immediately turned on by the aggressiveness that Ashlyn had just displayed. Ashlyn stared back at her with hungry eyes, before leaning down and giving her a few sweet kisses; on her forehead, her nose and then her slightly parsed lips. 

Ali’s forehead wrinkled as Ashlyn pulled away. “What are you thinking about babe?” I wasn’t like Ash to back down when she had given her “the eyes”.

“A lot,” huffed Ashlyn as she flopped over on her back beside Ali.

“Like what?” Ali propped herself up on her elbow with one arm and ran her hand over Ashlyn’s bare back with the other.

“Well we didn’t do much talking last night…” her voice trailed off, waiting for a response.

“I think we said everything we needed to last night.” Ali winked which forced a smile from Ashlyn.

“Alex, you know what I mean. I know you love me and I love you, but do you even know what any of this means?”

With an innocently shake of her head, Ali suddenly realized she was actually quite naïve about the whole thing. She knew Ash was going back to Iraq, apparently for nine months, and was leaving tomorrow, but that was about it.

Ashlyn sighed as she looked at Ali’s blank stare. “It’s not going to be easy, Alex,” she offered.

“The best things never are.” The reply was quick, quick enough for Ashlyn’s liking so she continued.

“And I’m not going to be able to talk that often. Maybe once a week or so. Sometimes video calls, but most likely not.”

“I don’t like talking on the phone anyways,” Ali teased. She was trying to lighten the mood, but Ashlyn wanted her to take it seriously.

“Alex, this isn’t a joke.”

Quickly realizing that Ashlyn thought she wasn’t taking it seriously, Ali straightened out her face and intertwined their fingers. “I know. I’m sorry, Ash. But like I said last night I don’t care about the distance or the infrequent phone calls. All I care is that you come home safe to me and I will be right here waiting when you do.” She shimmied closer and planted a kiss on her cheek. “That’s what really matters right?”

“I guess so,” she quietly agreed. “I just want you to know how hard it’s going to be. I don’t think you realize that.”

Ali sighed before taking Ashlyn’s face in her hands and meeting her gaze. “Please stop trying to convince me to run. I don’t know if this is what you’ve done to all the other girls, but it isn’t going to work on me. I’m not naïve enough to think it’s not going to be hard, but I’m also smart enough to know that you are more than worth every second of the wait. I will be right here waiting to continue our life together the second my soldier gets back. I’m not going anywhere, Ash.” She could tell that Ashlyn’s eyes lightened a little and some wrinkles dissipated from her forehead at her insistence that everything was going to be okay.

Her reassuring statement worked and Ashlyn let a small smile creeps across her face as her shoulders relaxed. “Alright,” she replied shyly, breaking the eye contact.

Ali was still unsure how to act around this shy, vulnerable version of Ashlyn so she quickly switched the subject. “So what would you like to do on your last day of freedom?” she casually asked.

Ashlyn leaned back on her pillow, arms tucked behind her head as she thought. Before last night, she figured she would just go surfing and hang out with Niki, but things were different now. She didn’t want to let Ali out of her sight, or her bed for that matter. “Well I wouldn’t be completely opposed to spending the entire day in this bed, with you.” She cast a sideways glance at Ali and tried to gauge her reaction.

A small laugh erupted from Ali who rolled her eyes. “Although that does sound fantastic, we should get out and do something fun today. Tonight is another story…” she concluded with a smirk. “What were you planning on doing today beforeee last night happened? Let’s do that.”

Now it was Ashlyn’s turn to laugh. Ali frowned and shot her a suspecting grin. “What?” Her tone was terse, but it didn’t knock the wide smile from Ashlyn’s face.

“Well if Niki had her way, I probably would have gone home with that bartender last night for my ‘last hurrah’ so to speak. So I probably would have woken up next to her this morning and taken her to an awkward breakfast. But you kind of ruined that one for me last night.” She paused and sheepishly grinned, waiting for Ali’s response.

A scowl dropped on her face as she animatedly smacked Ashlyn in the arm. “Ashlyn Michelle Harris! Are you serious?” It was more shock than anger. She actually couldn’t blame Ash for wanting to get some before a nine month dry spell.

She simply smirked and shrugged innocently, rolling over onto her side. “Does it help that I am much happier I woke up next to you this morning?”

The puppy dog eyes Ashlyn was giving her quickly melted any animosity Ali was harboring. “Only if you take me out for that awkward breakfast now,” she retorted with a grin of her own as she rolled off the bed, smacking Ashlyn’s exposed bare ass on her way to the bathroom.


	39. The Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was actually really sad to write! I hate goodbyes :(

The shrill of the alarm clock tore through the quiet morning air at 6am on the dot. Ash rolled over and smacked the clock, wanting nothing more than to ignore it and disappear back under the covers with Ali, but knew that she couldn’t risk being late. They were due to report to the airport at 9am and she didn’t even want to consider what would happen if she missed the flight. A vision of hours of pushups and wall sits in the hot Iraqi desert flashed through her mind and forced a shudder. She rolled over and planted a kiss on Ali’s forehead and then went to roll out of bed, but Ali had other ideas. Her arms wrapped around Ashlyn’s naked body and pulled her in tight.

“Ten more minutes,” she sleepily whispered as she cuddled warmly up against her.

Ashlyn sighed, knowing that she couldn’t resist her request. She nuzzled back into the bed slipping both arms around her sleeping girlfriend. However, unlike Ali whose eyes had closed, hers were glued to the clock. With each passing minute, her heart began to beat faster as she came closer to being torn away from the love of her life. It had never been this hard before and there was a distinct reason for that.

When she was on active duty, she would keep the girls would keep coming and going, never settling on one for an extended period of time. It made the goodbyes so much easier on both ends and it made her a better soldier. When she was out in the field, she didn’t have to worry about getting herself home to a family, just about protecting the family that was at war with her. That’s probably why she had taken a bullet the first tour, but it was worth it when it meant saving someone else’s life. This time was going to be different though, much different. With the threat of Ali filling up every inch of her thoughts, she knew she would need to focus and work harder to stay safe. She needed to make it home, and not in a casket. She made a mental promise that she would do everything in her power to make that happen.

The snooze went off ten minutes later and this time Ashlyn knew that she needed to get up. She slowly pried herself out of bed, taking a few moments to savor the sight of Ali’s strong physique sprawled out on the bed and wound around the sheets before she headed to the shower. That’s what she would miss the most over the next nine months, the pure beauty and tranquility of waking up next to her love. With a screech, the shower came on and Ash stepped into the warm water, making another note of what she was going to miss; hot showers.

She was just about to step out when she felt two lanky arms wrap around her. Turning around, she found herself face to face with Ali. “Hey you,” she said as she pulled her in tighter.

Ali sighed and let herself sink into Ashlyn’s arms, settling her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder. “I’m going to miss this,” she whispered into Ashlyn’s neck, which she peppered with a few light kisses.

Both fought back the tears that were inevitably filling their eyes.

“Me too baby girl,” Ashlyn said as she hugged Ali tighter. “Nine months will fly by though, right?”

“Right,” Ali lied. Nine months seemed like an eternity, but she didn’t need to make it any harder on Ashlyn. She lifted her eyes, settling them on Ash’s gaze. “And I’ll write to you every week.”

“And I’ll write you back,” she replied with a smile and kissed Ali’s nose. “Just don’t be discouraged if you go for a while without hearing from me. Sometimes it takes weeks, even months for mail to get to where we are, depending on how deep we’re in.”

“And you can’t even tell me where you’ll be?” Ali naively questioned, even though she knew the answer.

“I can’t babe. They won’t even tell us until they brief us on the plane. But I can promise you this,” she laid a light kiss on Ali’s lips and smiled softly, “Wherever I am, I won’t go a minute without thinking about you.”

Ali shook her head. “No. Don’t think about me,” she insisted. “Think about staying safe. Think about whatever you need to do to get home. That’s what I want you thinking about because that’s all I care about.”

Ashlyn was taken aback by the seriousness of Ali’s voice. For the past few days she hadn’t thought that Ali really understood what was happening, but she had been very wrong. Ali knew exactly what was going on and had just told her exactly what she needed to hear. “I’ll do my best, Alex. Because that’s all I want too.”

The look between them displayed so many emotions. They were filled with sadness and anxiety, but also love and adoration. Ashlyn scooped her up off her feet and carried Ali to the bed with her legs wrapped around her waist. Gently, she set her down on the bed, covering her body with her own. With gentle kisses and passionate touches, they made love. It wasn’t the crazy, rough, animalistic type of sex that had consumed them before. This time it was filled with all the affection and devotion they possessed; a perfect send-off for Ashlyn.

The ride to the airport was solemn with neither of them doing much talking as Ali steered her car down the highway. As much as they were in agreement that they were doing the right thing and that everything would be okay, it was a feeling that neither of them had experienced in full before. Sure Ashlyn had been to war before, but she wasn’t leaving behind someone she cared so deeply for. And Ali had done long distance with Lexi, but Lexi hadn’t been in a war zone with enemy combatants lingering during that time.

What they lacked in comforting words, they made up for as their fingers remained interlocked the entire ride, with Ashlyn gently rubbing her thumb up and down Ali’s hand to calm her. She shifted her glances between Ali, who looked somber as she drove, to the window where she could take in her last glimpses of the life she had grown so accustomed to. Occasionally, Ali would squeeze her hand, reminding her that she was ready to take on whatever came their way.

Ali swerved into a parking spot and quietly switched the car into park before removing the keys from the ignition. “Ready?” she sighed as she shot a tired gaze at Ashlyn.

Ashlyn nodded and climbed out of the passenger side, grabbing her bags from the backseat. They walked slowly to the check in counter, wanting to take every second possible together. With one hand Ashlyn carried her duffel bag while the other was draped over Ali’s shoulder, holding her tightly to her side.

Ashlyn handed her ticket to the woman at the desk, who smiled warmly when she looked up and saw Ash in her army fatigues with Ali wrapped tightly around her side. She quickly checked her in and handed her information back to her, offering a good luck to Ashlyn and a sympathetic smile to Ali. Through her ten years working at the airport she had seen many military couples and families come and go, and they all had the same proud, but somber look on their faces as they sent their loved ones off to war.

Turning away from the counter Ashlyn checked her watch. It was 8am and after hazarding a glance at the snaking security line, she knew she needed to get going. Ali could tell too, from the way her shoulders instantly dropped that this was going to be it. There was no more stalling. It was really time for Ashlyn to leave her. After this there would be no more stolen glances, no more warm embraces or reassuring smiles. After this, she was gone.

Ashlyn released her arm from around Ali’s shoulder, letting it fall to her side. Her head dropped slightly as she turned and took Ali’s hands in her own. She ran her thumb over the backs of them, taking in every inch of her soft skin, trying desperately to engrain the sensation of her touch into her mind. She was at a loss for words and could feel the knot forming in her throat as she raised her chin and met Ali’s worried glance. She coughed, trying to hide the fact that she was getting choked up and quickly pulled Ali into a strong embrace so she could hide the tears from her. She needed to be strong for her.

Once wrapped up in Ashlyn’s arms, Ali had to fight the tears back as well. Her arms instinctively wrapped around Ashlyn’s muscular back, pulling herself in even tighter and hoping Ashlyn wouldn’t notice the tear stains on her uniform after they pulled away. She took several deep breaths, not only to calm her spiking heart rate, but also to gather the last traces of Ashlyn’s scent that would have to last her nine months.

They wanted time to rewind, or even just freeze in that moment as they stayed deadlocked in their embrace. With a final tight squeeze, Ashlyn finally pulled away and forced her eyes to meet Ali’s. The corners of them were wet, but she gave Ashlyn a reassuring smile, which melted her heart. Even in the worst circumstances, Ali never failed to manage a smile.

“I love you so much,” Ashlyn whispered. The airport was flooded with people and her words for only for Ali, not the gawkers watching the military families say goodbye to their loved ones.

Ali’s smile grew a bit, flashing Ashlyn her customary dimples. “Words cannot even explain how much I love you Ashlyn Harris. Come home to me safe okay?”

Ashlyn confidently nodded, hoping that she was being reassuring. “You got it babe.”

Ali’s eyebrow raised, “Promise?”

Ashlyn fought the gloomy expression that was trying to fight its way onto her face. She couldn’t actually promise, because there was no telling what would happen over there. Not wanting to upset Ali though, she smiled back. Wrapping her arms around Ali’s waist, she lifted her off the ground and crashed their lips together in a warm, passionate kiss. “I pinky promise, Alex.”


	40. The Letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is letters that Ash and Ali write back and forth to each other while Ash is away the first month. Thanks to jjones1254 for the idea! Let me know what you think!

A rough jerk ripped Ashlyn from her sound sleep as she groggily rolled over on her cot, pulling the blanket tighter around her. “Rise and shine sunshine,” said a male voice as she felt her shoulder being roused.

“Fuck off, Danny,” she hastily replied. “I don’t have patrol duty until this afternoon.” She had been up late, unable to sleep and just wanted some peace and quiet. Danny, one of her squad members and long-time friend loved giving her a hard time, but she was irritable and not in the mood.

“Alright,” he replied matter of factly. “I guess I’ll take these letters for you back to the mail tent and tell them you’re not interested.”

At his words, Ashlyn jolted up from the bed and her blanket spilled onto the dusty, sandy floor. Normally she would have cared, but not at that moment.

“Give them to me, Danny!” she said as she leapt out of the bed.

Never passing up and opportunity to tease his squad leader, he used his height advantage, holding the letters above his head and backed away. Ashlyn, shrieking chased after him, “I swear to god Dan if you rip those letters I will kill you.”

She chased him around for a few minutes, finally wrestling him down to the ground and prying the letters from his hands and playfully punching him in the arm.

“Should have just gotten up when I told you too,” he teased with a smile. Life in Iraq was dull and anytime he could liven up the mood he always tried to.

Ash shot him a glare, but couldn’t really stay mad at him as her eyes flashed a slight twinkle. “And next time I may think twice about watching your six out there Danny,” she joked back.

He threw his hands up in the air, “Oh I see how it is now.” A small chuckle left his throat, “I guess I’ll leave you alone with those letters, Sarg.” He turned and exited the barracks shaking his head and laughing. 

As soon as Danny had stepped out of the room her eyes immediately tore to the address listed on the letters. It was from California, from Ali. There were two letters so she knew Ali had followed through on her promise to write every week. For the first few weeks mail wasn’t allowed in so it was the first time she would be reading her words. Quickly but carefully she ripped open the envelope with the earlier date listed as she sunk back into her bed and began reading. 

_Ashlyn,_

_I hope you’ve settled in and everything is going well over there! I know you can’t tell me where you are, but I hope it’s not somewhere too dangerous and I hope there’s not a lot of bugs because I know how much they creep you out. I also hope it’s not too hot, because you hate being really hot too. Although you are in the desert so I think you’re kind of stuck with the heat for a while._

_Nothing too exciting has happened over here while you’ve been gone. The weather has been nice and I think I might make Whit go surfing with me sometime soon. I feel surrounded by you when I’m in the ocean and that’s something I so desperately need to feel. As long as neither of us gets eaten by a shark I think she’d have a fun time. She might even be worse than me at surfing so that would be funny to watch. I’ll try to get someone to take some pictures and send them next letter so that you can get a good laugh in over there. Speaking of laughing, I hope you’re able to have some fun over there because the world is a much more beautiful place when you’re smiling. Some days I wake up and it’s extra sunny and I tell myself it’s because you’re over there smiling and having a good time. It’s probably just a silly thing to make myself feel better about you being over there, but I suppose it’s working so far. So keep smiling because you know I love my super sunny California days!_

_I’ve got a big case coming up soon so I’ve been on overdrive at work. Out of the last week I think I’ve been at the office for a combined total of seventy-five hours. It’s crazy, but I think this is going to be a big one! I just wish you would be there to watch me argue the case because I know how much that turns you on._

_I haven’t stopped thinking about you, Ash. I have a countdown on my phone that tells me how many days until you get home. I think it’s broken though because it still says there too many days left. I should probably get that checked out, huh?_

_Anyways I just wanted to write to you to tell you how much I miss you and that I can’t wait until you come back to me. I hope things are good with you. I can’t wait to hear back from you. My phone is always on loud so if you ever get a chance to call, no matter how late or early, please doesn’t hesitate. I think I’m slowly dying without hearing your voice. I love you more than words can describe. Stay safe, my soldier._

_With all my love,_  
 _Alex ___

Small tears began to form at the corner of Ashlyn’s eyes as she read the words that her girlfriend had taken the time to right. She hugged the note tight to her chest for a moment, feeling closer to Ali than she had at any point the last two weeks. After a moment her impatience got the best of her and she tore into the second letter. She wanted to save it for when she was feeling down again, but she couldn’t let the feeling go. 

 

_Ash,_

_I still haven’t gotten a letter from you yet. I know you said sometimes it takes a while to get letters out, but I hope you’ve been able to get mine though because I know how much you must be missing home. Things are still going well over here. If you can believe it or not, it actually rained this week! People thought I was crazy, but I just stood out there in the rain letting it soak me. I had to get my suit dry cleaned, but it was pretty liberating actually. Does it ever rain over there? I would suspect not because that’s probably why it’s considered the desert. Still, it has to rain sometimes, right?_

_Whit and I set a date to go surfing this week. It’s going to be ridiculous. I can just imagine her wiping out like I did the first few times and she totally does not deal well with getting water up her nose. Come to think of it, I’m not even sure if she is a good swimmer. I might need to get her a life jacket! She says she misses you and that when you get back we need to have a get together with Meg, ASAP. I told her that it might be a while before I let you out of the house when you get home. Hope you don’t mind…._

_Work is still good. Opening arguments start tomorrow so I’ve been going over that a lot with the intern, who actually is pretty cool aside from that one time she tried to seduce me lol. She asks about you a lot and laughs at me since I always tell her how many days it is until you come back to me. I think Parker might offer her a full time job after her last year of school. That chick knows her stuff._

_I ran into Niki randomly the other day too. She was in town for work she said. We talked about you and I gave her your contact info so she can write you too. I hope that’s okay, but I figured you wouldn’t mind getting mail from your partner in crime. She better not send you nudes of hot chicks though… At least she apparently doesn’t hate me so that’s good. I’m guessing you talked to her about me and apologized about me telling her the bartender was too pretty for her. I can’t believe I did that. Being away from you just drives me crazy I guess!_

_I can’t wait to hear from you baby. I miss you so much and think about you all the time. I’m going crazy back her without you. Even the simplest things are better when you’re here. My phones still on the loudest volume setting and I’m pretty sure at this point I would even answer it in the middle of a court session. I might get arrested for contempt of court, but it would definitely be worth it just to hear your voice for a minute. I’m almost forgetting what you sound like. They say that’s the first memory to go, someone’s voice. I hope I never get to the point where I forget your face. I don’t think that will ever happen though. Those gorgeous eyes and sexy smile are pretty deeply ingrained into my mind._ _As always, I love you more than words can describe Ashlyn Michelle Harris. Stay safe and come home to me as soon as possible soldier._

_With all my love,_ _Alex_

This time Ashlyn couldn’t hold back the tears that were falling from her face. She knew this was going to be hard for her, but through her letters Ash could tell how terrible it was for Ali too. Although she was trying to sound upbeat in her letters, the sadness and loneliness couldn’t help but creep into the letters. She dug through her bag and pulled out a pen and pad of paper. As she began writing she hoped that they would be able to send out letters soon because she wanted nothing more than to answer all of Ali’s questions and to tell her how much she was missed.  
_________

As Ali whipped into her parking spot she quickly pulled the keys out of the ignition and grabbed her purse, rushing to get back to her apartment to change. She was supposed to meet Tim for drinks, but had gotten held up at work prepping their key witness and was already running twenty minutes late. She shot him a text that she would be there soon and just had to change out of her suit. Although she just wanted to curl up in bed in her sweatpants with some ice cream and Netflix, she was trying her best to continue having a social life while Ashlyn was gone. It was good for her to get out and see people. 

She made her way into the lobby, passing the mail room. Just as she was about to push the call button for the elevator, she turned and shot a glance back to the room filled with all of the mailboxes for the complex. She had almost given up on getting any mail from Ashlyn after almost a month, but today she had a weird feeling that was drawing her to the mail room. It wouldn’t hurt to check again.

Once inside she flipped through the keys on her keychain, finally settling on the little silver one. With a shaking hand she inserted the key into the lock and opened the door. Inside was one letter, slightly crinkled and dirty. She ripped it out and sprinted to the elevator, in such a hurry that she forget to close the mailbox door behind her.

She got back into her apartment and dropped her bags at the door before hurling herself into bed and wrapping the covers around her. With her nail she tore through the envelope, and pulled out the contents. Tears welled up in her eyes before she even began to read the words that littered the page. Just seeing her handwriting and knowing that she was okay was enough to open the floodgates that held been holding her emotions in since Ashlyn had been gone.

_My Beautiful Alex,_  


_Sorry it's taken me a while to get back to you. They weren't letting any mail in or out for first few weeks while we got settled in and even though I tried to bribe a few people with my extra dinner rolls I had no luck._

_Things are good here! Although nothing amounts to the days that I spend with you, it’s as good as it can be considering I’m in the middle of the desert with a bunch of crazy soldiers. If I have to watch another pushup contest between these privates I think I’m going to throw up. Maybe next time I’ll just have to challenge them and finally put themselves in their place! They probably wouldn’t like that very much though._

_It’s so hot though and I would give anything to have it rain. I think if it rains I would do exactly what you did and stand there arms outstretched just letting it soak me. I can picture you doing that actually, in your fancy suit without a care in the world. My gorgeous, confident, carefree girl. I’m actually jealous of the rain that fell upon your skin. It’s closer than my hands have been._

_I got your first two letters on the same day and that was honestly the best day I’ve had here. It made me feel close to you, something that I’ve been desperately missing. You invade my thoughts and my dreams and I’m not going to lie, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I would give anything to be by your side. To hold you, to kiss you, to touch you, even just to talk to you. You told me that you think the sun shines brighter when I smile, so I’ve been trying to smile a lot more. It’s hard because things are so depressing around here, but I’d do anything for you. Is it working?_

_I can’t wait to hear about you surfing with Whit. If there can be picture evidence delivered I think that would make my week next time! Make sure you get some good ones of her getting eaten by the waves. I would definitely get a kick out of that. And maybe if a few of you in that sexy black bikini of yours could make it into the letter as well, I wouldn’t be opposed to that…_

_God I miss you and your sexy body and sweet smile. I’m going crazy here without seeing you. I can just picture you in the courtroom ripping those assholes to shreds in that tailored, designer suit. You know the pinstripe grey one that I love? Mmmmm. That suit does things to me woman! You should definitely wear that one to court because I don’t think the Judge would turn down a single objection you have. I know I wouldn’t be able to. I can’t wait to hear about how the case turns out. I’ll keep my fingers crossed, but you know you don’t need it. You’re the best lawyer out there and I have no doubt that you’ll come out victorious. I just wish I would be there to congratulate you. Over and over and over… I think you’re right about not leaving the house for a week once I get back. I don’t even know if I’ll let you leave the bed to be honest._

_Hopefully I will be able to call soon. They usually filter the radio around a month or so into the tour so people can check in on loved ones. I just need to hear your voice. If reading your words can make me that happy, I can’t even imagine what hearing your voice is going to do for me. I have a countdown as well, but like yours I think mine is also broken. It definitely says there are too many days left before I come home. We should definitely get those checked out because it already feels like I’ve been away from you for a lifetime._

_I just keep thinking about how amazing it is going to be to come home. I am going to wrap you up in my arms and never, ever let you go. I hope you’re okay with being stuck with me forever because I’m in too deep baby girl. I can’t imagine a life without you in it and I am doing everything in my power to get home safe to you. Always counting down the days until I see your gorgeous face again. Until I can touch your silky skin and kiss your warm lips. You are the most amazing woman I have ever met in my life and I’m head over heels for you. Nothing can change that. I’m yours, all yours._

_I miss you and love you so much, Alex. Keep smiling baby because things are good over here. Stay beautiful. See you soon._

_Love,_  
 _Ashlyn_

The warm, salty tears were freely falling down Ali’s cheeks as she her body involuntarily shook. She clutched the pages tightly to her chest and sobbed into them, letting the tears spill over onto the pages. It was good to know that Ashlyn was okay and even able to joke around with her, but it wasn’t enough. She longed to hear Ashlyn’s voice. She longed to hold her. She longed to fall asleep wrapped tightly in her arms or to hear her sweet words whispered into her ears. She longed to touch her and kiss her deeply. She longed for the simple things like sleeping in and waking up next to her on a Saturday morning or the cute mid-day text messages that would often arrive on her phone from Ashlyn. But she couldn’t have any of it and it was slowly breaking her inside. All she wanted was Ashlyn home safe, but it was the one thing she couldn’t have. The tears poured down her face as she continued to uncontrollably sob and pull the blankets tighter around her for comfort, forgetting all about drinks with Tim. This was hard. This was harder than anything she could ever have imagined.


	41. The Call

“I’ll be right back, Whit. I need to get a drink quick and check my phone. Parker is supposed to be calling me about the closing arguments I sent over to him last night.”

Whit nodded as she watched Ali paddle back in to shore, gracefully avoiding the waves that threatened to topple her. It was their fourth or fifth time surfing and even though Ali was no expert, Whit had immediately felt like a novice when they entered the water for the first time almost a month ago. She wasn’t sure if Ashlyn’s skilled had rubbed off on Ali or if she was just a natural, but she seemed to effortlessly float through the water. She hadn’t seen Ali so comfortable or at peace over the last few months. It was the happiest she had seen her friend since Ash had left, which was why she always agreed to go surfing with her even though she would have much rather suntanned on the beach like they used to. Still, seeing Ali finally smile was worth every minute of getting pummeled by the waves. She knew the distance was wearing on her and had promised Ashlyn before she left that she would do whatever it took to keep Ali going.

Back at the shore, Ali stuck her board end up in the sand and walked over to where their towels were laid out. After wiping her hand on her towel she leaned over and dug through her bag, finally finding her phone in the chaos of things inside. 

“Shit,” she yelled. She had missed a call just a mere second ago, from an unknown number. Ashlyn. She couldn’t believe that she missed it and quickly tried to call the number back, but it didn’t go through. Her insides felt like they were being squeezed shut, she couldn’t believe she had missed it and prayed that Ash would try the number again. Thankfully, she did.

As soon as her phone lit up again with a similar number she hurriedly accepted it. “Ashlyn? Oh my god baby I’ve missed you so much!” Her voice was cracking, barely able to contain the emotions that were surging through her body. “Baby?”

After a moment, a voice broke through the subtle static on the other end. “Ali? Is that my Ali girl?”

Ali dropped to her knees, tears falling from her face onto the sand beneath her. “I can’t believe it’s you baby! I’ve missed hearing your voice! How are you? How is everything?” Her voice was shaking and hands trembling. “I miss you so much.”

Ashlyn was trying to hold it together on the other end of the line. “I’m good, Alex. I’m doing really well over here. Just keeping myself out of trouble and my squad out of harm’s way. I miss you too baby, so much.”  
Ali stayed on her knees, her body slumped over as she cried into the phone. Hearing Ashlyn’s voice was exactly what she needed. It may be breaking her at the moment, but inside she could feel her heart filling back up with every word that left Ash’s mouth. “Good, Ash.” She couldn’t say her name enough. “I’m so glad to hear things are going well. I think about you every day. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“I know me too babe,” came Ashlyn’s reply. “God I can’t believe it’s already been two months. It feels like forever without you though. Your letters are what keep me going, Alex. I’m serious. If I didn’t have you I don’t know what I would do over here.”

“I’m glad, Ash. I love hearing back from you. I’ve gotten three so far-“

Ash cut her off. “Only three? Wow they must be really behind delivering them. I’ve written six or so.”

Ali smiled. “Well I can’t wait to get them. I keep them all tucked underneath my pillow and re-read them every night before I go to bed.”

From the other end of the line Ali could hear Ashlyn laugh. “What’s so funny?” she asked as her lips curled up into a smile of her own. It felt so good to hear Ashlyn laughing again.

“I do the same thing!” Ashlyn replied with a laugh. “Every night.”

There was a brief silence that hung over the line as the two woman paused, simply taking in the sound of each other’s breaths. It was calming and something they so desperately missed.

“So what are you up to today?” Ashlyn finally broke the silence. She wanted to make sure that Ali was keeping her promise and not just holing up at home every night.

“Can you hear that?” Ali said as she held the phone out in front of her.

“Is that…is that the ocean?” questioned a giddy Ash as she listened to the distinctive sound of the waves crashing on the beach and the shrill of the seagulls circling overhead.

A full smile wove across Ali’s face. “It is baby girl. I come here whenever I get the chance. It’s the closest I get to feeling like you’re with me. It’s weird and I can’t explain it, but I just feel so alive out here.”

Tears were now rolling down Ashlyn’s cheeks, but she quickly wiped them away not wanting to get teased by any of the guys. “That’s so amazing, Alex. I would give anything to be there with you right now.”

“I know, beautiful. Once you get back it’s the first place we’ll go. I promise.”

“That’s if I ever let your hot little body out of the house ever again!” Ashlyn teased, bringing a smile to both of their faces. 

“Yeah I’m refusing to take any vacation time while you’re gone so I can take about a month off when you come back,” Ali retorted in a joking, but still serious tone. “I think a month might be enough to make up for all the times we’ve missed, right?”

“Right baby,” Ashlyn breathed out as her mind filtered to her last night with Ali and the passionate love they had made. “God I can’t wait to touch you and hold you again.”

Just then Ali heard a voice behind her. “Ali, are you okay?” Whit called out as she tossed her surfboard down and sprinted over, dropping to her knees beside her. She had looked up after riding a wave to see Ali collapsed in the sand, holding her face in her hands and was thinking the worst had happened.

“Is that, Whit?” Ashlyn shrieked over the phone in an excited voice.

“Yes, Ashlyn. Whit is right next to me. We went surfing today!”

A sigh of relief washed over Whit’s face, soon to be replaced with a wide grin. “Oh my god, Ashlyn! How are you?” yelled Whit into the phone.

Ali reluctantly put the phone on speakerphone and held it between them. While she wanted her alone time with Ashlyn, she knew both of them were excited to catch up. 

“I’m good, Whit. Real good, actually. I definitely got a good laugh out of those surfing pictures that Ali sent me a few weeks back. It seems like it’s a good thing you decided to be a banker and not a professional surfer,” she managed to get out before breaking into a fit of giggles.

Whit glared at Ali pretending to be mad at her while whispering, “I can’t believe you sent those pictures.” Turning back to the phone, she played along with Ashlyn and laughed. “Oh yeah well maybe if I had a hot teacher like you to teach me I could be as good as Ali is.”

On the other end of the phone Ashlyn spit out the water that she was taking a sip of, spraying it all over the bed in front of her. “Well when I get back we’ll leave Ali behind and I’ll take you out myself Whit.”

Whit was beaming as Ali muttered without thinking, “Yeah if I ever let you leave the bedroom.”

“Ewwww,” Whit groaned as the other two broke out in uncontrollable laughter at her reaction. “Well it was good talking to you, Ashlyn! I’ll let you two love birds finish up your conversation.”

“Bye, Whit! Thanks for taking care of my girl while I’m gone!” said Ash from the other end.

“No problem, Harris!” she replied as she stood up from the sand. She jogged back down to where her board was laying and called out over her shoulder, “See you out there, Ali!” as she splashed back into the water, board tucked under her arm.

“You two seem good,” said Ashlyn as a soft smile crossed her face. Someone had just walked into the tent so she lowered her voice a bit. She was glad that both women seemed good, especially Ali. Originally she worried that Ali would shut everyone out and just hibernate for the nine months, but this was a pleasant surprise. She was doing just fine and it made Ash breathe a bit easier. “Almost two months down, baby.”

“That’s what my broken count down says too,” Ali managed with a small chuckle. “I can’t wait beautiful.”

“Me either. I’ve got to get going though, babe. We’re heading out in an hour and I have to get some things packed up.”

Hearing about Ashlyn heading back outside of base brought all of Ali’s worries rushing back in. “Is it a dangerous trip?” she questioned, even though she knew Ashlyn wouldn’t be able to give specifics.

“No, not too dangerous, babe. We’re just doing a sweep of a few streets in this town. It’s already been cleared out by the other units so all the bad guys should be gone.”

Ali knew that Ashlyn was trying to reassure her, but her thoughts hung on the words “should be”. Should meant that there was still a chance they weren’t gone. Not wanting to worry Ash, she simply replied, “Good babe. Please be careful. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Ashlyn’s head dropped a bit as she fiddled with a fray at the end of her blanket. She knew that Ali had caught on to her words and was trying her best to sound okay. It had been so great hearing her voice and for a moment it had almost felt normal again between them. Trying to salvage the conversation and bring Ali back she added, “I can probably call when we’re back if that would make you feel better baby?”

“Really?” Ali replied excitedly, her gaze lifting up from the sand below her at the thought of hearing Ash’s voice twice in one day. 

“Yeah it wouldn’t be for too long, but I can probably sneak a call in. And it’ll be right around when you’re going to bed so I can say goodnight to your for the first time in almost two months. How does that sound, princess?”

“That would be great, Ash. Anytime I can hear your voice and know that you’re safe I’ll take it. I wish I could hear from you every day.”

“I know, Ali.” Ashlyn replied. She wished the same thing too. “But guess what?” she prodded.

“What, beautiful?” replied Ali in a mocking tone to tease her.

“It’ll be worth every second of the wait. I can promise you that.” Her voice sounded confident and reassuring. 

“Oh ya?” said Ali, her voice escalating a bit higher.

“Oh yeah. When I finally let you out of bed we’re going to make chocolate chip pancakes and macaroni and cheese and basically eat entire jars of Nutella. And then we’ll go to the beach and surf and then lay on a towel and look up at the stars all night. Just you and me baby girl. How does that sound?”

“That sounds absolutely perfect. And then we can get married and have babies and move to the suburbs,” she teased back.

The thought brought a huge smile to Ashlyn’s face. Sure she had thought about those things before, but to hear Ali say it was something completely different. She felt relaxed and calm for the first time since being overseas and all it took was one phone call with her to ease the tension she felt. “That’s exactly what I was thinking,” said Ashlyn softly as silence fell before them and they both thought about their amazing future together. Truth be told, neither couldn’t wait for that day to come.

Ashlyn heard someone poke their head into the tent and call her name. “Harris we’re moving out at sixteen hundred!”

“I’ve got to get going, Alex. I love you so much. I’ll call you as soon as I can, okay?” she said reassuringly.

“Be safe out there, okay babe?”

“Of course. I know what my number one mission is.”

“And what’s that?” Ali asked with a hint of curiosity.

“To get home to my princess, duh!” she said with a laugh.

Finally the frown that hung on her face had turned back into a smile. “And Ashlyn Harris always completes her missions, right?” said Ali with a tone of authority.

“Haven’t failed one yet, baby girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that a little less heartbreak for you all? lol ;)


	42. The Lie

"Heading out already?” questioned Jordan over the brim of her round glasses. She had been working in her office on some depositions and saw that Ali was packing up her things in her purse already.

Ali looked up to meet her gaze and smiled in return. “Yeah, I have to get home and do some packing. My flight is early tomorrow morning and on Christmas Eve the airport is going to be packed. I’m going to have to get there at like 6am for my flight.” She made a mental note to set a super early alarm when she got home so that she wouldn’t miss her flight.

“How much packing do you possibly need to do for three days? It’s only 5pm!” Jordan joked back as she set the paper down that she was reading and looked up at the sheepish grin on her bosses face.

Ali finally cracked. “Well Ashlyn is supposed to be skyping me later and I wanted to have all my packing done and…um…clean up nice for her.” She tried to look away, but couldn’t hide the blush that swept over her face after her confession.

Jordan laughed and rolled her eyes. “You two are disgustingly cute,” she said as she shook her head. “What’s the countdown now?”

Ali shot a look over at the giant countdown scribbled on her large desk calendar before turning back to Jordan. “Just a little over two months now,” she said with a smile.

“Wow that went fast,” said Jordan as her voice trailed off and she returned her glance to the files in front of her.

“Maybe for you it did!” Ali joked as she threw her phone and keys into her purse. “It’s felt like forever.”

“Distance will do that to someone,” Jordan replied without looking, a pen tucked into the corner of her mouth between her teeth.

“You speaking from experience?” Ali shot her a knowing look.

“Nope, but I could imagine,” she sympathized. Turning back to her work she added, “Have a good Christmas with your family, boss. And enjoy your skype date tonight. If you want to blow her out of the water,” she paused before meeting Ali’s gaze and deciding to continue with a sly grin, “wear that red dress of yours. That’ll get her for sure…”

Ali’s jaw dropped as she looked at her laughing intern. “That’s enough from you, Jordan,” she said with a grin of her own. The two had gotten quite comfortable and Ali enjoyed that they could joke back and forth with each other. It was a breath of fresh air considering they were surrounded by stuffy lawyers and judges most of the day. “I’ll see you Monday. Have a great Christmas yourself!”

Half an hour later, Ali was home and unlocking the door to her place. She set her purse down on the bed while she went searching for her suitcase. She mumbled to herself about having too many closets in the condo when it took four tries to finally find the one where her suitcase had been hiding. She dragged the black suitcase out and tossed it on the bed next to her purse. Now came the tantalizing process of trying to decide what actually go to go into the bag. 

Slowly she strode over to her closet and yanked open the doors as she thought through all of the different types of outfits she would need for the trip. She would be flying out tomorrow obviously wearing leggings and a hoodie of some sort. Then she would have Christmas Eve dinner out with her parents so she selected a nice pair of pants and a sweater with a cashmere scarf. On Christmas Day they would open presents in the morning, she tossed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt into the bag, followed by Christmas dinner with the rest of the family and cousins from out of town. While she wanted nothing more than to wear sweats the entire time, she selected a few nice dresses and a couple other pants and sweaters to throw into the bag. When family was around she always wanted to look her best. Especially since everyone in her family probably thought she had fallen apart after Ashlyn left. 

Once she had thrown in enough socks, underwear and bras to last the trip she headed to the bathroom to grab her toiletries. She zipped them into her black makeup bag and tucked them into the side of her suitcase.

After printing out her boarding pass and making sure her I.D. and everything she needed was in her wallet, she looked at the clock. It was 6:30pm and that meant that Ashlyn should be calling in the next half an hour. 

Excitedly she headed back to her bedroom to get ready for the call. For the first few months their conversations had mostly been confined to letters. After her first call when she was at the beach with Whit, Ashlyn had been able to call a little more frequently, almost every other week. They still sent letters back and forth every week, but the phone calls were really getting Ali through the distance. The first time she ever got a video call from Ashlyn though, she felt like she was going to die. Her heart had nearly stopped when she saw her gorgeous, smiling face on the computer screen. 

Since then, at least twice a month she would get video calls and she always made sure she looked great when Ashlyn called. Of course she never told her that was the distinct reason she had gotten dressed up, Ashlyn knew and adored her even more for it. 

Back at the closet, Ali looked through the clothes that remained after she packed. She pulled a few things out, but decided they weren’t right. Her eyes finally settled on a dress and she shook her head as she pulled the red dress Jordan had mentioned out of the closet. As she slipped it on and marveled at herself in the mirror, she couldn’t deny that the girl had good taste. 

In the bathroom, she undid her bun watching as her hair fell down in long waves. She applied a bit of hair spray hoping that the natural curls would hold and quickly reapplied her makeup that had faded over the course of the day.

She grabbed her computer and sat down on the bed, checking her watch every minute. Making a quick phone call, she ordered a pizza for delivery. Her talks with Ashlyn usually lasted a while, but she was starving. There was no way she would give up her time with Ashlyn to make dinner so she just ordered the easiest thing that came to mind and set twenty bucks by the door so she could effortlessly deal with the delivery boy while still on Skype.

Seven o’clock came and went and her shoulders sagged a bit as the thought that Ashlyn wasn’t going to actually call crossed her mind. Often they had set times and something would come up to sidetrack or keep Ashlyn from the call. It had become a reality in their relationship and though Ali knew she couldn’t fault her for it, that didn’t mean it still didn’t hurt her. 

As 7:30pm rolled by, she stood up and dejectedly went to change into her sweatpants. As she was about to unzip her dress, her phone rang and she sprinted over to it. It was an unknown number. Ashlyn.

“Baby?!” said Ali, her voice unable to contain her excitement. 

“Hey beautiful!” came Ashlyn’s voice from the other end of the line. “I’m sorry it’s not a video call like I promised, but the computer is down so you’re just going to have to deal with my voice tonight,” she said apologetically. She herself wanted nothing more than to see Ali’s smiling face, but this was still better than nothing.

Ali tried her best to hide the disappointment in her voice as she replied, “Oh it’s okay. I’m just glad to hear from you at all.”

Ash picked up on the momentary sadness in her voice and did her best to make up for it. “Only two months left until I’m home for good babe! Wooooo!” she yelled through the phone loud enough the Ali had to hold the phone away from her ear for a minute.

She laughed and a smile crawled onto her face. “I cannot wait to see you baby. Oh the things I am going to do to you when I finally see you…” she trailed off.

Ashlyn wasn’t going to let it go that easy. “Oh yeah? Like what?”

Ali blushed, knowing exactly what Ashlyn was asking for. “Oh you know what I mean!”

“Come on, Alex. Think of it as my Christmas present,” she teased from the other side of the world. “I promise no one is listening.”

Ali took a deep breath and sighed. “Well let’s just say I’d start by wrapping my arms around you and just holding you tight to my body, taking in your scent, listening to your steady heartbeat and feeling your tight, warm body wrapped around me.”

Ash let out a breath from the other end of the line. “Yeah, baby? And then what?”

“And then I would start kissing you. Softly at first and maybe I would even bite your bottom lip a little bit because I know how that drives you wild. Then I would kiss you deeper, more passionately and show you how much I really missed you. 

Ashlyn’s breathing was becoming heavier. “And what would you be doing with your hands baby?” Ashlyn guided her.

“Well my hands will probably slip lower down your back, pulling you in even tighter to my body while I softly grinded on you, getting you so wet for me baby.”

Ashlyn softly moaned which turned Ali on even more. She was just about to continue when there was a knock on the door which ripped her from her thoughts. “Shit my pizza is here,” she quickly said, hopping from the bed.

There was a groan from the other end of the line as Ali realized she had just chose the pizza over her very bothered girlfriend. “Are you serious, Ali?”

“One sec babe I just have to pay him quick and I’ll get right back to you,” she said apologetically as she quickly yanked open the door.

The phone dropped to the ground as did her jaw when she looked up to grab the pizza. “ASHLYN?!”


	43. The Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay you guys convinced me to put another one up tonight! Enjoy ;)

On the other side of the door stood her tall, strong, sexy soldier. She was still in her fatigues and looking exhausted, but Ali had never seen a more beautiful sight. She leapt into her arms, barely giving Ashlyn a second to react. Luckily she caught her and carried Ali into the condo after dropping her bag inside the door as she wrapped her legs around her waist. 

Shocked, Ali couldn’t even get out words as Ashlyn gathered her lips into a deep, hungry kiss as she slammed her back into the wall opposite the door. She felt her body melt into Ash’s as she was carried into the bedroom and they spilled onto the bed, Ashlyn straddling a very confused Ali. A smile crept through her face even during their kiss as she looked down at the puzzled look on her face. For a moment she pulled back, even though her body was screaming to touch every inch of Ali’s body.

Ali took the brief pause as an opportunity and began to stutter, looking from the phone in her hand to Ashlyn and then back to the phone. “I…how’d…what…. How are you here right now, Ash?” she finally got out exasperatedly.

A huge grin swept across her face, “We got a four day leave for the holidays so here I am. Merry Christmas, beautiful.”

Ali couldn’t even form another sentence as she just look wide eyed at Ashlyn, like she was seeing a ghost. Her heart was racing a million miles a minute and Ashlyn just looked adoringly down at her.

“Now, why don’t we picked up where we left off,” she said as she scooted herself back on top of Ali, laying more of her weight on her this time. “You were just about to tell me what you were going to do once you got me wet, baby. Care to show me instead?” she asked with a sultry voice and coy smile as she looked down at Ali’s full and tempting lips. 

Without another word, Ali crashed their lips together. Her fingers wound into Ashlyn’s hair as they intertwined behind her neck and dragged her in closer for an even deeper kiss. Their bodies seared with desire as their hands explored every inch of each other’s bodies.

“I missed you such much it hurt,” Ash whispered into her ear as she began sucking on Ali’s neck with open mouthed kisses. A soft moan escaped her lips, sending her heart racing and urging Ashlyn on. She slipped her hands behind Ali’s legs and roughly pulled her down so that her back was lying flat against the bed and no longer propped up on the pillow. Ali let out a yelp, but didn’t break the kiss that she was interlocked in. 

Ashlyn began to grind down on her as her hands flashed to Ali’s breasts tracing every curve of her body that she had missed so deeply. She groaned when she realized Ali was wearing a dress that wasn’t easily able to be ripped off, but didn’t let that stop her. With her free hand, she slipped it down further, running her fingers gently up Ali’s exposed leg and taking full advantage of the fact that she wasn’t wearing pants.

A low whimper escaped Ali’s throat as she felt Ashlyn brush her fingers up her leg. She needed more, was craving more and wasn’t afraid to let Ashlyn know it. “It’s been seventh months baby. I need you.” She was already short of breath, but every nerve in her body had come alive and she was tired of waiting. Her thoughts had been consumed with fantasies like this for far too long and now she finally had it. Tonight was not about making love, it was about making up for the lost time.

That was all the encouragement Ashlyn needed and with one motion she ripped Ali’s black lace panties off without even taking her lips off the crook of her neck. Ali didn’t even object, she just kicked them off the end of the bed and opened her legs wider, heat spreading throughout her entire body. Ashlyn wasted no time and quickly slipped two fingers in her, moaning as she felt how much Ali really had needed her. Ali bucked her hips up against Ashlyn’s hand and threw her head back against the pillow, fists tightly clenching the sheets.

“Oh fuck Ashlyn. You feel so good,” she moaned through pursed lips as Ashlyn slid her fingers in and out, her thumb rubbing in just the right place to send her quickly spiraling over the edge. 

It only took a minute before Ali had released her grip on the sheets, grabbing a pillow to muffle the screams that would have been heard in the lobby as her body convulsed against Ashlyn while waves of pleasure rippled through her entire body. Her arched back quickly sunk back onto the bed as she came down. Ashlyn licked her fingers clean and smiled coyly at Ali. “I guess you did miss me,” she said as she looked at Ali’s rapidly rising and falling chest, taking note that her heart was beating in a similar fashion. “God I missed you.”

“I just can’t believe you’re really here right now,” said Ali as she looked up into Ashlyn’s eyes, her hand rubbing the small of her back gently to convince her mind that she was in fact still there as they lay next to each other, chests rising and falling in a furious, but unified pace. “I missed you so much. I feel like I’m looking at a ghost,” she continued, lifting her hand up and running it down Ashlyn’s cheek, leaving it to rest on her chest right above her heart that was still beating from the intense and steamy session they had just shared. She was in bliss looking into Ashlyn’s soft brown eyes and feeling her warm touch against her body. Her heart was still skipping a beat from the surprise and she wanted the moment to last forever. She wanted to stay that way forever.

“Well believe it baby,” she replied with a soft smile. “I’m all yours for the next three days.”

Neither could take their eyes off the other, the full weight of their separation finally realized as they finally felt whole for the first time in almost seven months. Ashlyn traced the rise and fall of Ali’s body with her fingers which seemed to remember her body better than her mind did as they maneuvered over every muscle and curve of her perfect physique, her eyes taking note of every freckle that dotted her toned shoulders. She caught on to the change in Ali’s face as her gaze dropped to the sheets.

“What’s wrong babe?” she said as she propped herself up on her elbow and scooted closer to Ali, lifting her chin so their eyes met.

“I…I have plane tickets,” she stammered while biting her bottom lip. “I had no idea you were coming and I didn’t want to be alone for the holidays so I got a ticket to go home to see my parents. So did Kyle.” She felt awful, wanting nothing more than to stay in bed with Ashlyn the entire time she was home.

Ashlyn hopped up from the bed and began digging through the small duffel bag she had brought with her. Finally she pulled out a piece of paper and Ali looked quizzically at her goofy grin. “Did you hear me, Ashlyn?” she asked, ignoring the paper she was holding and wondering why she was grinning so widely. “I have to fly out tomorrow morning.” Thinking about it, she realized she didn’t actually have to. She was sure her parents would understand. “Actually, I mean…I’m sure I can cancel. I think everyone would be okay with it given the circumstances and I don’t want to miss one minute with you.” She pulled Ashlyn in and gathered her lips in a passionate kiss.

Finally, Ashlyn pulled away, still sporting her wide grin. “Well it turns out that I happen to have a ticket for tomorrow morning to Virginia as well. Flight 342 at 9am? Isn’t that weird?”

Ali quickly sat up, catching on to Ashlyn’s surprise while her jaw dropped. “You…how…what?” she finally got out. After a brief pause she groaned, “Ughhh I’m going to kill Kyle! He knew you were coming this whole time, didn’t he?”

Ashlyn started laughing which earned her a playful smack in the arm. “You can’t be mad at him! I made him promise!” squealed Ashlyn as Ali leapt on top of her began tickling her sides. “Stopppp!”

“How long did he know!” she demanded as she straddled Ash, dropping her full weight down with a take no prisoners attitude.

“I called him about a month ago when they told us we got a few days leave. I wanted to make sure you were actually here when I showed up!” She was trying to defend herself from Ali’s tickle advances, but was not finding much luck blocking her wandering hands so she decided to use words. “Besides, I had to be sure you weren’t going to be gallivanting around here shacked up with some other chick,” she stated, her face turning serious to match her tone.

Her plan worked and Ali immediately stopped her tickling, her gaze falling intently on Ashlyn’s. “What?” she said, with a hint of ubiquitous sadness. She couldn’t believe Ashlyn would think that.

Taking advantage of Ali’s momentary lapse, she made her move, flipping Ali over and pinning her down on the bed, arms outstretched above her head. Ali’s eyes were wide open realizing that she had been played and though she tried to fight against her restraints, she was no match for Ashlyn’s strength.

“So what time are we leaving in the morning, darling?” Ashlyn’s smile was big and though Ali pretended she was mad that she tricked her for a moment, she couldn’t fight the smile creeping across her own face. She had missed that smile too much to even pretend to be mad and relaxed her body, letting her back settle on the bed as she gazed up innocently, a small smirk falling across her lips.

That small act of submission aroused Ashlyn, as she slowly grinded down on Ali’s center, eyes not leaving her face. “I have a feeling we’re not going to sleep tonight are we?” she asked with a grin.

“Nope,” Ali replied as she grabbed Ashlyn by the dog tags and pulled her in for a hungry kiss.


	44. The Christmas Present

“There’s my favorite girls!” came a loud call from across the terminal.

Ali and Ashlyn both looked up to see a very excited Kyle sprinting towards them, backpack slung over his shoulders and bouncing with every giant bound he took. He enveloped them in a giant bear hug, crushing them all together and almost knocking their heads together in the heat of the moment.

“Looking good, stud” he said as he playfully punched Ashlyn’s shoulder when they separated. “The desert looks good on you girl!” he teased as he pointed to her face and looked back to his little sister, “Have you seen this girl’s tan?” He turned back to Ashlyn, squeezing her arm and raising one eyebrow, “Damn have you been working out, girl?” 

Ali rolled her eyes and smacked her brother. “I’m still mad at you for keeping this a secret!” she said with a laugh. Truth was, she couldn’t be mad at either of them, but she could at least pretend.  
“Aww come on. How could I ruin her surprise? Isn’t that the best Christmas gift you could’ve gotten?”

Ali couldn’t deny it and nodded in reply. “Yeah I guess you’re right.”

“Good,” he said, his gaze resting on Ali’s face, forcing a smile. “And I’m sure you looked fantastic as always.”

“Well I pulled the skype trick so she didn’t look like a hot mess when I got there!” Ashlyn chimed in, teasing Ali as she shot a grin at Kyle.

He doubled over laughing with Ashlyn as Ali kept walking, leaving the two goofballs to laugh at their own jokes. She was not amused with either of them at the moment. “You two are impossible,” she called out over her shoulder, keeping her face forward trying to hide a smile of her own.

They finally composed themselves and ran to catch up with Ali, Kyle with his arm draped around Ashlyn’s shoulder. When they caught up with Ali he wrapped his other arm around his sister, pulling her in tight. “Come on, Alex we’re just teasing.” He gave her arm a squeeze and kissed on top of the head. “I’m sure Ashlyn didn’t really think you would look like a hot mess,” he added, trying unsuccessfully to conceal a laugh.

“Of course not!” Ashlyn replied through clenched teeth, holding back a giggle of her own. Even in her sweats Ali was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen, always radiating no matter what. Still, Kyle always got her riled up and she couldn’t resist teasing Ali some more. “You always look gorgeous babe,” she said as she pulled Ali in and planted a kiss on her cheek. She had tried for her lips, but Ali had successfully evaded. 

As much as Ali tried to hold onto her fake grudge while Ashlyn and Kyle took turns teasing her, as soon as they had boarded the plane she was wrapped around Ashlyn’s arm in fear. Ashlyn smiled down at her adoringly, remembering how scared she had been the first time they flew together. She snuggled closer in and squeezed Ali’s hand in assurance as the plane kicked into gear and roared down the runway. Kyle shot her a glance and rolled his eyes, seemingly embarrassed by his little sister’s fear of flying. Ashlyn shook her head in reply and shot him a stern grin over Ali’s head, warning him not to say anything. Kyle heeded the warning and sank back into his seat and pulling on his headphones as Ashlyn hugged Ali tighter when the plane took off from the ground.

She couldn’t even express in words how amazing it felt to hold her baby again. When they had first found out about the leave her whole squad had planned to catch the first plane to London and spend to holidays partying there. They had tried to convince Ashlyn to join them, but the thought hadn’t even crossed her mind. Even when they told her she would waste half the days traveling back to the States, she didn’t care. Ashlyn would have still made the trip even if it only meant a few hours in Ali’s arm. With only two months left in her tour, all she needed was a little boost to get her through the finish line. Two months was short enough that she wouldn’t forget Ali’s scent, her warm touch or her sweet voice and adorable smile. As she planted a kiss on Ali’s head that was resting on her shoulder, she knew that she was exactly where she was supposed to be. This was just the first Christmas of many that they would spend together and the first of many surprises that Ashlyn had in store.  
______  
“This is the last present everyone! The last one has your name on it,” said Kyle as he dug underneath the tree and handed Ali a present. “That one’s from Ashlyn,” he said with a wink.

Ali turned a bit red, unsure if it was safe to open in front of her family. She shot Ashlyn a worried look, but she simply laughed and nodded in return to let her know it was safe. Furiously she ripped the ribbon off and tore through the wrapping paper to reveal a small box. She slowly opened it to reveal a gorgeous diamond studded watch. Her eyes shot up to Ashlyn giving her a surprised look. “Ashlyn this is beautiful. I love it,” she said as she threw her arms around her neck and pecked her on the lips.

She simply shrugged and blushed a bit as Ali fawned over the watch. “I got it at the airport,” she said meekly. “I didn’t have time to really go shopping.” Her cheeks turned a bit red, embarrassed that she hadn’t had time to fill the Christmas tree with presents, even though she knew Ali didn’t mind.

“Well this is perfect baby. I can’t wait to wear it! And besides you didn’t have to get me anything. You being here is all I could .ever wish for,” she said with a genuine smile and her eyes glistened as she looked up lovingly

Ashlyn was glad that Ali liked her present. She had bought it on their way to Virginia, sneaking into the Guess store when Ali wandered into the Coach store and got stuck there looking over all the purses. It wasn’t the only present she had though. Before she had found out about leave, she had set another plan into action.

“Well I think everyone got a pretty good haul,” said Ken with a laugh as he stood up and begun shoving wads of crinkled wrapping paper into a large, black garbage bag.

“Who’s ready for breakfast?” chimed Deb as she handed some more wrapping paper to add to the garbage bag. “I just heard the oven timer going off so the Cinnamon buns are ready.”

“I am!” shouted the three kids in unison as they pushed their way into the kitchen, hip-checking and pushing each other out of the way to get there first.

Just as they were about to sit down there was a knock on the door. Their ears perked up, unsure who would be out knocking on doors on Christmas morning. “Can someone get that?” called Ken from the living room. He had his hands full with wrapping paper and tape stuck all over his shirt.

“I’ll get it,” called Kyle, laughing on his way past his father. He opened the door to see their neighbor, an old high school friend standing there. “Oh hey, Scotty! How’s it going? Hey Ali come see who’s here!” he called out over his shoulder.

Ali rolled her eyes, setting down the gooey Cinnamon bun that she was about to devour and trudged over to the door with Ashlyn in tow. “Hey, Scott!” she said as her voice got an octave higher. She hadn’t seen him since high school and they had been pretty close growing up next to each other. “You back home for the Holidays too?”

“Yeah I am! Good to see you too Ali,” he said cheerfully.

“And who is this?” said Ali as she ruffled the fur of the cute puppy he was holding. “This little guy is adorable!” she cooed in a mothering voice.

“I was actually going to ask you guys if you knew. I found this little dude wandering around our yard and no one was around.”

Ali’s brow furrowed, “Aw well that’s not good. Did you check the tags?”

Scott didn’t answer and just shrugged as Ali searched his collar for tags. “Ah here we go,” she said as she grabbed the silver tags in her fingers and began to read. “Ali Krieger, 310-589-9985.” Her face dropped in shock. “That’s…that’s my name and phone number?” Her face turned from Scott back to Ashlyn and Kyle were doubled over holding their stomachs laughing. “What? Are you serious!?” Her voice was higher than all morning as she looked at Ashlyn who was beaming.

“Merry Christmas, baby. He’s all yours,” she said with a huge grin.

Scott stretched out his arms and Ali plucked the puppy from it. “See you guys later. Merry Christmas!” he called out as he headed down the steps and back to his own house.

“He’s so stinkin’ cute!” shrieked Ali as she hugged the fluffy black and tan German Shepherd puppy close to her, nuzzling her face into his warm fur. “Oh my god I can’t believe you got me a puppy!” she shouted again.

“Someone has to take care of you when I’m gone,” Ashlyn teased. “Isn’t that right buddy?” she said as she got eye level and ruffled his ears before planting a kiss on his big, wet nose.

Ali was beaming as her parents filed into the room to see what all the fuss was about. Ashlyn had of course filled them in on the whole thing. Kyle had picked the puppy out when he visited the month before and her parents had picked the puppy up and set up the surprise plan with Scott the previous night.

“What’s his name?” she turned and asked Ashlyn, but was met with a shrug.

“He’s all yours baby. Whatever you want to name him.”

“Hmmmm…” she moaned as she thought on it, all while squeezing him against her chest. “I think I’m going to call him Bandit because he stole my heart just like his mama did,” she said with a cute smile. “What do you think about that, boy? You like the name Bandit?” He let out a little yip, showering her face with puppy kisses.

“Bandit it is,” Ashlyn concluded with a smile.


	45. The Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got one more chapter coming tonight too!! Thank you all for sticking with the story. Your comments are very much appreciated and definitely keep encouraging me to keep posting chapters every night. There's only a handful left so I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them! :)

“You realize how luck you are, right?” asked Kyle as they sat on the front porch steps, watching Ash frolic through the snow with Bandit. When she didn’t answer him, he looked over at his sister.

She was snuggled into a thick wool sweater with tight black leggings and a scarf wrapped snugly around her neck. Her hands were wrapped around a coffee mug that was still steaming and the smile on her face was unmistakable as she looked adoringly out at Ashlyn who was now shrieking as she was being chased back across the lawn by the little puppy who was winding through her legs. Kyle couldn’t help but smile as he saw how focused Ali was, eyes not leaving her newly formed little family. He was proud of her for everything she had overcome and glad that she had found someone to share that kind of love with. “Hey you,” he said as he gently nudged her with his elbow.

“What? Did you say something?” asked Ali, eyes still glued on Ashlyn and Bandit. She let out a small chuckle when Bandit nearly tripped Ash.

“I asked if you realized how lucky you are, but seeing how you haven’t taken your eyes off of her, I think I already know that answer.” He wrapped an arm around Ali and she leaned her body back into him, glad for the warmth he was sharing.

“I’m the luckiest, Kyle,” she replied before taking a sip from her coffee. “Just two more months until she comes home safe to me for good.” She tried to sound confident, but there was always a hint of doubt that crept into her thoughts and this time in manifested itself in a long sigh.

“She’ll be fine, Alex. There’s no way she wouldn’t make it home to you.” He pulled her in tighter and held her close for a moment. “And I would honestly feel bad for the guy who tries to keep her from you,” he added with a shameless smile. “She’d go through a brick wall for you. You know that right?”

Ali smiled sarcastically back at her brother. The thought was actually pretty amusing if the circumstances had been different. “Yeah I know,” she said a bit dismissively. It felt like everyone kept reminding her how amazing Ash was to warn her not to mess it up. She already knew Ashlyn was it and although she was glad everyone loved her, sometimes it felt a bit much. There was no way she would do anything to mess things up between them.

“I mean it, Alex.” This time Kyle’s voice was a bit firmer. “The girl gets a four day leave after spending SEVEN months in Iraq, and what does she do? She sends her team off to Paris or London or wherever and then spends two days on a plane just so she can see you for two days, both of which are spent with your family and she’s not even going back to L.A. she is flying out from here. Even though it’s gross and I don’t want to think about it, you really think after being away from you for seven months she wanted to be around your family and not have you alone?” Although Kyle’s tone had hardened, his face never did. His eyes still had their familiar twinkle that made everyone in the world feel like they could trust him.

Ali sighed and thought pensively for a minute. She had obviously immensely appreciated that Ashlyn had surprised her for Christmas, but hadn’t quite thought about it like that. “I know, Kyle. Good thing I have my own surprise up my sleeve.”

“And what’s that?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. He knew his sister was up to no good. Ali began whispering her plan to him, when they were quickly ripped from their secret exchange.

“What the?” said Ali as she looked down at the dispersed snowball that had just pelted her shoulder a moment ago and the wet spot that it had left. Her eyes whipped up to Ashlyn who was standing there with a shrug and innocent grin, wisps of blonde hair poking out of the hat she had borrowed from Ali. “It was Bandit,” she quickly said with another childlike shrug, pointing down to the puppy that was sitting at her feet, cutely propped up against her leg.

“Oh is that so?” questioned Ali as she carefully set her coffee mug down on the step next to her. “Kyle want to help me out here?”

He threw his hands up in the air, “I’m a California boy now. You know I hate snow! I’m so not getting involved in this little war,” he said as he pointed back and forth between the girls. “Besides, Ash is a Florida girl. It shouldn’t be too hard to shut her down,” he said with a small chuckle.

A second later he was no longer chuckling as a snowball whizzed by his ear, exploding on the wall behind him. “Oh hell no! Game on!” he said as he leapt up from the stairs to join Ali at her side. “You don’t want to mess with the Krieger siblings,” he said with a smirk, bending down to furiously start forming snowballs of his own. “Especially when you’re all by yourself!” He threw a snowball which Ashlyn easily evaded by stepping to the side.

“Is that the best you got?” she teased him, before throwing one back. “And I’m not on my own, I’ve got Bandit!” She shrieked and took off running to avoid the barrage of snowballs that were hurling towards her, Bandit staying close to her heels, playfully barking as chaos ensued. After a few minutes of running, screaming and dodging, one rather large snowball struck her solidly in the back as she tried to duck another one. She quickly turned around to see Ali give her a shrug and wide grin which riled her up even more. She ran towards Ali and before she could even react swept her off of her feet, tackling her into the fluffy snow pile behind her. Her eyes went wide in disbelief that Ashlyn would really do that as the cold and wetness quickly soaked through the sweater and leggings she was wearing. “You’re going to get it, Ashlyn Michelle!” she screamed as she pushed her off and began to shake the snow off of her already freezing cold hands.

Kyle doubled over as did Ashlyn while Ali threw her exaggerated temper tantrum, all while still sitting in the snow. He dropped the snowballs that were clutched in his hands as his whole body shook with laughter.

“I’m serious!” she said. She was not at all amused and their laughter wasn’t helping. Just then Bandit ran over to her, stumbling over his own big feet and placed two paws on her chest. With a rough push he shoved Ali back down into the snow and showered her with puppy kisses. Ashlyn and Kyle began to laugh even harder as his wet tongue seemed to find every inch of Ali’s face. Eventually her scowl had dissipated and she was now giggling and trying to pry her extremely excited puppy off.

Ashlyn whistled, “Here Bandit. Come here boy!”

He picked his head up, momentarily giving Ali a break from his ruthless attack. When he saw it was Ash calling him, he leapt of Ali and bound over to her, jumping up on his hind legs when he reached her. Ashlyn scooped him up in her arms and while receiving several puppy kisses of her own, walked over to where Ali was sitting in the snow. She extended her hand and an apologetic smile and Ali cautiously accepted.

“How’s my favorite boy?” she cooed, peeling Bandit from Ashlyn’s arms as he wriggled his entire body. As soon as Bandit left Ashlyn’s arms, with a quick shove Ali toppled Ash over into the same snow pile and quickly sprinted inside unleashing a plethora of giggles in her wake.

“Hey!” she called as she quickly picked herself up and sprinted into the house after her with Kyle right behind.

“Whoa, whoa, whoaaaaa,” said a very surprised Ken as he was almost trampled by the herd of people sprinting through the hallway. “What are you three doing?” He laughed as he took in the spectacle before him. Ali and Ashlyn were both soaking from head to toe, Bandit was covered in snow wriggling his whole body, his long pink tongue hanging out of the corner of his mouth, and Kyle’s sweater was peppered with splotches of snow. All three of them were sporting mischievous grins and everyone, including the dog, was panting.

“We just had a little snowball fight. No big,” said Ali with a giggle that was reciprocated by the rest of the group as well.

“Kids will be kids,” Ken said as he shook his head and continued into the kitchen. “Just make sure you wipe up these floors before your mother finds out,” he called out over his shoulder. “And don’t forget we’re all going out to breakfast tomorrow before you fly out!”

“Dad I told you Ali and Ash had to leave tonight,” said Kyle.

Ken popped his head back in. “I thought Ashlyn was flying back out tomorrow morning and Ali was heading back to L.A. then too?

Ashlyn and Ken were both confused when Kyle shook his head, “No they have to fly out tonight. Ali has to be back at work tomorrow morning because of that big case and Ashlyn has to report back tomorrow by 6pm. I told you this, remember?”

Ken shook his head back and forth. “I don’t remember, Kyle. Must be old age,” he said with a laugh. “Do I at least get you all for dinner tonight?” he added, his gaze settling on Ali and Ashlyn. Luckily, he didn’t pick up on the blatantly confused face Ashlyn was wearing and Ali simply nodded.

“Of course you still get us for Christmas dinner!”

As Ken left the room again, Ash turned to face Ali and Kyle who were both grinning like mischievous children. “What was that?” she asked. She wasn’t mad, just very perplexed at what was going on.

“You don’t think I was going to share you with my family the last night before you head back to Iraq and leave me again do you?” she purred coyly as she set Bandit down and ran her hand down Ashlyn’s chest.

“Gross,” said Kyle as he quickly exited the room, making a beeline for the stairs.

“Wh…what?” stammered Ash.

“I got us a hotel room for tonight. My parents don’t need to know that we’re really not flying out until tomorrow morning.” With her left hand she pulled Ashlyn’s chin down for a kiss, her right arm wrapping smoothly around her waist.

“Really?” Ashlyn exclaimed with a dimpled grin as a twinkle fell into her eyes.

“Yep. You’re all mine tonight, Sergeant.”


	46. The Future

Back in Los Angeles, Ali felt a renewed sense of security and readiness to take on the world. Ashlyn’s weekend visit was exactly what she needed to help her recharge and she had returned to L.A. feeling invincible. Her firm had won their big case by a landslide and their client had been awarded over $20 million in damages causing more clients to sign on to a class action lawsuit which was looking to now go after the company for hundreds of millions. Parker had put her in charge of spearheading the entire case and she had hand selected her own team. Bandit had settled right into her condo and Ali loved taking him out after work for long walks and visits to the dog park, allowing him to run wild while she was able to decompress. And Ashlyn. Only a little over one month until Ashlyn finally came home for good. If the night she surprised her or the night before she left was evidence of what was coming, she couldn’t wait.

“So you’re really looking to sell your condo?” asked Whit with a hint of surprise and a raised eyebrow.

Ali just shrugged, keeping her eyes on Bandit who was rough housing with a Husky-Shepherd mix at the park. “I guess so. Maybe it’s time I got out of the city.” With the eminent fact that Ashlyn and her would most likely move in together when she got back and now with Bandit, she figured it made sense to move out of the city. Plus with her firm’s recent success and largely increased paychecks, she could easily afford a nice house to settle her little family into.

Whit just shook her head. “Wow I never thought I would see the day!” she said with a quiet chuckle to herself.

“What are you talking about?” said Ali. She shot Whit a gaze over her furrowed brow.

“My little city girl is all wifed up and wanting to move out to the burbs!” She laughed and shook her head. “I remember after everything with Lexi when you moved here you swore off women and said you would live in your bachelor pad in the city for the rest of your life. What happened to that Ali?”

Ali snorted as she recalled the conversation, her mind flashing back to their heart to heart on the patio of her favorite coffee shop. She rolled her eyes, “Whatever.” She couldn’t even deny it because that’s exactly what was happening and she loved every minute of it. “Things change,” she added with a small grin.

“So how does Bandit like your place? I still can’t believe Ashlyn got you a puppy. He’s adorable. Check my bag when I leave because I might try to sneak him out. Right, Bandit? You want to come home with Auntie Whitney, don’t you buddy?” she cooed in a high pitch voice as Bandit rubbed up against her legs and she bent down to ruffle his fur.

“He loves it actually. It’s crazy though because as soon as I got home after our flight I put him down and went to the bedroom to get into bed since it was so late. He didn’t even check out the place. The little guy just followed me and hopped up on the bed, making himself real comfortable on Ashlyn’s side of the bed. It’s like he knew or something,” she concluded, watching Bandit sprint to the other side of the park to chase the ball Whit just threw.

“Yeah dogs are intuitive like that.” Bandit dropped the ball at her feet and she picked it up, unable to deny his pleading puppy eyes, chucking it to the far end of the park again.

“I guess so. The poor thing follows me everywhere. He won’t let me out of his sight. I have to leave the bathroom door open now when I go in because he will just sit outside of it and cry!” She laughed as her mind flashed back to Bandit crying at the top of his little lungs when she had taken a shower, only to stop when she had opened the door and allowed him to nestle into her robe that she dropped on the ground.

“Well Ash taught him well I guess,” said Whit with a smile, realizing that now Ali had yet another protector to keep her safe.

“Yeah. She is so good with him. Even though it was only a day before she flew out, he was crazy about her and would only fall asleep in her arms.” She smiled warmly and Whit just rolled her eyes.

“You two disgust me. That’s how cute you are. Ready to head back to your place? We can change and then meet Meg for dinner.”

Ali nodded and whistled for Bandit who reluctantly looked over at her and trotted over. He wasn’t done playing, but his human was ready to leave and he couldn’t let her out of his sight. She clipped the black leash back onto his collar and the three of them made their way over to the car. Bandit thankfully hopped in the backseat, allowing Whit to sit in the front next to Ali. On the way there, she had not been so lucky.

“Where are we meeting everyone again?” asked Ali as she pulled her aviator sunglasses over her eyes, flicked on her turn signal and pulled out into the road, merging with the quickly moving traffic.

“I’m not sure. I’ll text Meg the address of the place. Are we going to get to see crazy drunk Ali tonight?” she asked with a laugh. Since Ashlyn came around, Ali had been a lot less uptight and lot more carefree, something their groups of friends had tried desperately to do since college.

She rolled her eyes, switching lanes so that she could take her exit. “Who knows? If you guys keep feeding me Tequila shots again there is a good possibility.”

“Oh I’m going to get a lot of cash out then. Drunk Ali is the best and this time you’re not picking up the tab. I don’t care if you’re a billionaire now,” she added as she turned around in her seat and rubbed Bandit’s scrunched face.

“I’m not a billionaire,” Ali was able to get out through her laugh. “Millionaire, maybe. Billionaire, no,” she teased. The line earned her a swift punch in the arm. “Ow!” said Ali. As she rubbed her arm, Bandit poked his head out from the back seat and a low, playful growl escaped his mouth as he looked up curiously at Whit.

“Oh my god. He is your little guard dog!” Whit laughed.

“That’s right. So don’t mess with me!”

Ali guided her car into her parking space and waited for Whit to gather Bandit from the backseat. She carried him in her arms through the lobby, not wanting him to get into anything. As soon as they reached her hallway he wriggled free of her grasp and sprinted towards the door. Ali let the leash go and he sat in front of the door, looking up at her with big puppy dog eyes as she unlocked the door and stepped inside. Bandit quickly roamed the house and upon finding that there were no intruders, he promptly made his way back to Ali’s side.

“You’re not showering, are you?” asked Whit as she flopped down on the couch.

“Nope, I just need to change.” Ali grabbed a beer from the fridge and tossed one to Whit. “I’ll only need like fifteen minutes.”

“I’m sure that’s all you’ll need,” replied Whit sarcastically. “I’ll just make myself comfortable.” She grabbed the TV remote from the table and nuzzled into the couch, draping a blanket over her legs. They had been friends long enough for Whit to know that fifteen minutes in Ali time was more like half an hour to forty five minutes.

Ali rolled her eyes and headed down the hall to her bedroom, Bandit right on her heels. She had finally settled on an outfit when there was a knock on her door.

“Ali, someone is here!” yelled Whit over her shoulder, not wanting to get up from her comfy spot on the couch.

From the bedroom, Ali sighed. Typical, Whit, she thought as she zipped up her pants and made her way down the hallway, absentmindedly swinging the bathroom door shut behind her. She opened the door and stood there in silence.

“Who is it?” Whit called out. When she received no response, she turned around and saw what had silenced Ali. Standing in the doorway were two men, their Army uniforms decorated with an impressive array of colorful medals and badges. That wasn’t what caught Whit’s eyes though. It was the grim looks they held on their faces and the reaction her friend had. She watched as Ali dropped helplessly to her knees, already sobbing uncontrollably into her hands, knowing exactly what they were there to tell her.

“We’re so sorry, ma’am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me! I'll have another update tomorrow night, possibly two!


	47. The Explanation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hang in there!

Every nerve in Ali’s body seared with fire and burned through her skin with an excruciating rage. Her lungs screamed for the air that had been sucked out to return, desperately fighting to breathe again through her despondent sobs. It was useless. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t control her own body and the searing pain that had briefly held her captive had imminently faded to be replaced with a dull, numbing pain. Her body felt empty, hollow like there was nothing left inside it anymore as all of the blood drained from her face leaving her a ghostly sight. The men didn’t need to speak another word. She knew the news they brought was what she had been dreading this entire time. The nightmares that had clashed with the wild fantasies in her dreams at night had finally won out. She just wanted to disappear.

Whit tore herself from the couch and ran to Ali’s side, dropping to her knees beside her. Her arms instinctively wrapped tightly around her, noticing how she was uncontrollably shuddering. “Shhhh, Alex. It’s okay. I’m right here. It’s going to be okay,” she whispered into her ear, clutching her head close to her chest. It was a terrible lie, but the only thing that came to her mind. If this was what she thought it was, nothing was ever going to be okay again. Truth be told, she didn’t know what else to say. “Come in,” she offered to the men who were standing respectfully in the hallway, politely allowing Ali to take whatever time she need. “Please, come in and have a seat in the living room.” She pointed down the hall, directing them to the couches as she tried to hold back her own tears. Ali needed her now more than ever and she was doing her best to be strong for her.

The men nodded and removed their hats before stepping over the threshold of the door and into the house. Neither of them wanted to be there, but it was their job and they tried their best to make these things as easy as possible and show respect for the families. They headed down the hallway and took a seat on the couch in the living room, waiting for Whit to gather an inconsolable Ali from the floor and bring her over to speak with them.

“Come on baby,” she said as she used her strength to dead lift Ali from the floor. “Let’s go see what they have to say.” She tried to hang on to hope, but knew these men wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t the case. She half carried Ali’s limp body to the couch and set her down, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders and pulling it tight around her before draping her own arm over.

After a few minutes Ali had composed herself enough to bring her teary eyes up to meet the men’s gaze. “What happened?” she whispered, almost inaudibly through a cracked voice, her eyes red and desperately searching for answers. “Please tell me what happened.”

The taller of the two men sat forward and reached out to place his hand on top of Ali’s. It was calloused, but warm and almost reminded her of how Ashlyn’s felt when she had come back from Iraq. It was meant to comfort her, but had the exact opposite effect. Still, Ali didn’t pull her hand away, and looked up to meet the man’s gaze. His eyes were soft and warm, but she still found no comfort there. He cut straight to the facts, trying to spare Ali from the pain of waiting for answers. “Ma’am, Sergeant Harris was leading her team through a standard check through one of our occupied areas. There was intelligence that some insurgents had tracked back into the area and they were sent there to drive them out and secure the corridor. It was supposed to be a routine check, a quick in and out. Unfortunately, they never actually made it into the city. The insurgents had heavy artillery with them and shot down the helicopter that was carrying her and her team.” He dipped his eyes, unable to continue meeting her gaze as he continued, “There were no survivors, ma’am.”

That was all Ali needed to hear as she once again collapsed to the floor. “Are…are you sure?” she managed to get out through her sobs as her worst nightmares had been realized.

“Yes, ma’am, we’re sure. The helicopter was destroyed. We did find these though.” He stretched out his hand and Ali looked up, to see a dirty, tarnished dog tag and chain dangling from between his fingers. “These belonged to Sergeant Harris and she wanted you to have them. I hope you know that Sergeant Harris was a hero and you should be very proud of her,” he concluded, holding the chain out to Ali with a steady hand.

Ali reached up with a shaky hand, slowly taking the cold, metal necklace from the man’s palm. Tears fell down on the tags as she ran her fingers over every bump and ridge that had been forged throughout all of her years in the service. It was dented, scratched and scoured with dirt, but it was all she had left of Ashlyn. After three tours in Iraq, after the blood, sweats and tears she had given and bullets she had taken, after the towns she had liberated and countless lives she had saved, this was all the Army had left to give of her. This was all she had to show for it. It wasn’t enough for Ali. She didn’t want a necklace and a folded flag to commemorate her hero’s sacrifice, she wanted her soldier back. She clutched it tightly in her hand as another wave of tears began to fall down her pale cheeks, noting how cold it felt against her fingers. Cold like an anguished goodbye.

“Thank you for telling me in person,” she said coldly as Whit hugged her tightly, trying unsuccessfully to wipe her tears away. It wasn’t an easy conversation for anyone in the room, but she couldn’t help but feel slight resentment towards these men. They were here and her soldier wasn’t. They got to pack up at the end of the day and go home and Ashlyn was never coming home again. They got to see and care for their families, while hers had been completely devastated with a few short words and a promise that she died a “hero”.

“You’re welcome, Miss Krieger.” The other man finally spoke, taking some of the burden from his counterpart. “Would you like us to take care of all of the funeral arrangements?”

The word funeral rang through her ears, echoing throughout every fragment of her consciousness and piercing through her heart. She hadn’t even thought that far and wasn’t even sure if that was her place. Wouldn’t Ashlyn’s family be in charge of that? She hadn’t even met them yet and wasn’t sure how any of that was going to work. Would they want the funeral in Florida or closer to where she had lived the latter part of her life? So many questions were flying through her mind and as she tried to sort them out it only led to more confusion. No matter the answers, she was in no shape to think about it now and spewed her answer accordingly. “How can you even ask me that right now?” she said, this time her voice had risen well above a whisper, her words hot with anger.

Whit put her hands up to silence Ali and looked to the two men. “How about you give us some time and we’ll be in touch with you shortly,” she offered, looking between Ali and the men.

Her attempt to diffuse the situation before it escalated had worked and they nodded, before standing up from the couch and straightening out their uniforms. “Please feel free to call us whenever. Again, we’re sorry for your loss, ma’am.”

Ali didn’t speak, just simply nodded and watched them retreat from the living room. The door swung closed behind them, echoing through her home with an eerie sense of finality. Her head dropped down to the floor again, unable to look Whit in the eyes or even think about forming coherent sentences at the moment. Ashlyn was gone. Just like that, just as quick as she had entered her life, she had been taken out of it. Ali didn’t even know how to process that. There would be no more cute texts, no more morning cuddles against her warm, strong body. No more lazy nights lounging on the couches watching silly movies or warm kisses shared after a nice dinner out. There was no more future, no moving in or starting a family together. Everything was gone, stolen from her by nameless faces across the world that would never answer for their actions. She had never felt so empty in her entire life. Although the thoughts had always lingered deep in the back of her mind and she knew the realities of war, nothing could have ever prepared her for these feelings. Nothing could have ever made hearing the news that the one person she loved most in the world, was never coming back to her.

Picking up on the fact that Ali wasn’t ready to talk, Whit stood up from beside her and wandered into kitchen. She set a pot of water on the stove in a kettle to brew her some tea and was about to phone her brother Kyle when she heard a whining noise coming from the bedroom. When Ali had left the bathroom moments ago to answer the door, she had accidentally shut Bandit in. As Whit cracked open the door he didn’t even look at her, just barged his way out and bolted to the living room. Whit followed him, this time unable to hold back the tears as she took in the sight in front of her. 

Bandit was already nuzzled in Ali’s lap, her face buried into his side with her arms wrapped tightly around his little body. As tears wet his soft fur and Ali’s sobs flooded the room, Bandit whined as well, his head settled gently on her arm, sad eyes looking down at the floor. 

“Shhh, it’s okay buddy,” cooed Ali, her face still melded into his damp fur as she squeezed him tightly for comfort. Though her words were spoken to Bandit, she was just desperately trying to convince herself.


	48. The Pain's Worse The Day After

“Wake up.”

Her tired, swollen eyes didn’t seem to want to open and her body was unexplainably sore. The events from the previous night felt like a dream, more so a nightmare and waking up meant she had to admit that they had really happened and her worst fears had been realized. She rolled over, eyes still closed, unsure of who was still with her as the voice hissed again.

“Wake up.”

This time there was a slight jab in her side which made her groan. 

“God dammit, Harris. Wake the fuck up before they come back!”

Her eyes immediately shot open as everything came flooding back to her. The mission. The helicopter. The explosion. And then the capture. Though there were only brief flashes of fragmented memories, she now remembered exactly where she was. Looking to her right, she saw Danny propped up next to her on his knees, checking over her wounds. His worried face was bruised and covered with dirt and soot from the explosion. It was also covered with blood, a lot of blood. She didn’t know whose it was, but shuddered when she narrowed down whose it could be. His, hers or the blood of their fallen comrades.

“Thank god, you’re okay,” he got out as he peeled her sleeve up a little. She grimaced and looked down at the gash that ran from her wrist up to almost her elbow. It wasn’t terribly deep, but in conditions like this it didn’t take much to get an infection. 

“Where are we? What happened, Danny?” Ash demanded as she finally sat up, pushing her back against the wall as every muscle in her body screamed, and looked around. It seemed like they were in a house or building of some sort. The only furniture that adorned the room was two pencil thin mattresses that looked like they had seen their fair share of occupants and a rickety wooden chair. Filth and dirt covered the floor and walls, and a solid metal door seemed to be the only exit as the lone window was covered by thick, iron bars. Clearly this was not an occupied area which only meant one thing, they were being held captive.

“Do you remember the chopper ride?” he asked, now lifting up her tan shirt to display a rainbow of color on her ribs. “Oh you definitely have a few bruised, if not broken ribs there Sarge” he said. He ran his finger gently over the area, pressing harder at the darkest spots to check it out.

She yelped and smacked his hand away. “Enough, Danny. I’m fine.” She met his stare with a firm gaze and he obliged, sitting back on his heels. “I don’t really remember specifics, just snippets of last night. Fill me in.” Ashlyn rubbed the back of her head and winced as pain shot through her head, down her neck and throughout her spine curling to a stop at the nerve endings. Looking at her fingers after she touched her head, she found traces of blood there.

“Yeah your head took a beating last night, Harris. Most likely a concussion, but also a pretty bad gash. I did my best to clean it, but as you can see,” he spread his arms out wide and looked around the room, “There’s not many sanitary things in here.”

Ash shook her head, a single curt laugh escaping her lips. Leave it to Danny to make a joke even in the direst of situations. “Well thanks,” she offered. She was grateful that she had Danny by her side, but just wanted to know what happened so they could start developing a plan. “So what happened?”

“We were coming into the city, just starting our descent to the rooftop when we came under heavy fire. We returned it at first and went to pull back, but they got a missile launcher on the roof before we could get our distance. You and I were nearest the door because we were supposed to be exiting first. I just…” his voice trailed off as he remembered the gruesome details from the day before. “I just launched myself and threw both you and I out of the chopper. We hit the roof and then…” his eyes fell onto the floor. He couldn’t bear to meet Ashlyn’s daunting stare. “Then they hit the chopper. The whole thing went down in flames. It just exploded.” Tears began to flow down his cheeks as his voice cracked. “They’re all gone, Sarge. All of them.” He hung his head in shame, knowing that he wasn’t able to save them.

It broke Ashlyn’s heart to see Danny like this. She knew he felt bad, but was so grateful at her own second chance at life. “Danny you did all you could. You saved me. Without you I would have gone down with that chopper. But YOU saved me and I can never thank you enough for that. I owe you my life.” With her sincere words she tried to show Danny that he had done well, but it did little to assuage his feelings.

“Yeah I saved you so now we can sit in this hell hole together,” he scoffed.

“How did we even get here?” After hitting the ground from her fall, she remembered nothing although she was unsure if it was the concussion or her brain trying to block out the trauma.

“They found us when they were checking the helicopter remains out. The whole thing was smoking, charred mess and you couldn’t even make out any bodies. It was a direct hit. We couldn’t move because you were unconscious so I tried to hold our ground, hoping we would get reinforcements, but there were too many and help never came. They grabbed us, threw those hoods over our heads and dragged us here I guess,” he concluded with a shrug, his eyes hollowing a bit.

Ashlyn saw how dark Danny’s eyes had become as he recalled the events while fiddling with a rock from the ground and a fresh pang of guilt wove through her. He couldn’t run because of her. Not only had he saved her, but he had been captured because of her. She truly owed him her life. “Have you seen any of their faces or did they just dump us here last night?”

With a look of surprise, Danny dropped the rock he was playing with and met her gaze. “You don’t remember?”

“Remember what?” Ash asked with a tone of confusion.

“They tortured you for hours last night,” he said quietly, averting his gaze. “I could hear it from the other room.”

“What?” What had been blocked out of her memory began to seep in. Her gaze fell as she recalled slivers of it.  
“I could hear them water boarding you and hitting you. You didn’t give up a thing though. I don’t know how you did it. You kept laughing at them and asking if that was all they had. You even called them a bunch of pussys a couple times which I really think pissed them off even more.” He chuckled, thinking back to her telling them off and looked up at her, this time his eyes filled with traces of wonder. Danny had always respected his Sergeant, but hearing her laugh in the face of terrorists had definitely upped that to complete admiration.

Ash laughed as well, remembering some of the things she had said to them as Danny jogged her memory further. “How did we get ourselves into this mess, Harris?” she said, shaking her head and looking over to Danny who was also sporting a small grin.

“We just always seem to find trouble,” he said with a chuckle. He sat back, letting his shoulders lea against the wall next to where Ash was posted up. “Man what are we going to do about this?” he sighed.

Ashlyn thought for a moment before responding. “We’re going to get out of here, Danny. We’re going to get home to our girls. I promise you that.” Her voice was strong and confident which perked Danny up a bit.

“And how are we going to do that?” he retorted. “We don’t have our weapons and last time I checked they didn’t leave the door unlocked for us. I’m not sure how much more of an ass kicking I can take, Ash.”

She was caught off guard by him using her first name. It had always been Sergeant, Sarge or Harris, never Ash or Ashlyn. But things were different now. They were equals, friends stuck in the mess together and there was no need for formalities. Everything he said was true, but Ash had a feeling that this wasn’t over yet. There was no way she was giving up so easily as evidenced by her rebellious actions the previous night. She hadn’t been given a second chance at life just to lose it again and she was going to do everything in her power to make sure Danny got home to his wife and she got home to Ali. For the first time, her mind flashed to Ali and sent shivers up her spine. There was no doubt in her mind that the army had likely pronounced them dead, especially if the helicopter looked the way Danny had described it after it exploded. Her heart sunk as she thought of Ali being told she was gone, knowing this sliver of fear had been kept deep down inside her since Ashlyn had left. Ali, the love of her life, being left all alone, thinking that she was dead. The physical pain she felt from the beating was nowhere near the emotional and mental anguish she was suffering. The beatings and torture she endured were nothing compared to what her own mind was going to put her through as she thought back to everything they had done together and now everything she was losing. She wished there was a way to let Ali know that she was okay, to let her know there was a chance and that she was still coming back to her. There was nothing she could do though. There was no warning signal she could send out, no call for help she could usher. All that was left to do was wait. Wait with a steely resolve until a chance for escape came and refuse to break at the hands of their captors. No matter what, she was going to get back to Ali and she was damn sure it wasn’t going to be in a flag covered coffin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little better??


	49. The Mourning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning this might be the only update until Monday! I'll try, but I can't guarantee anything. Hope you enjoy and as always, thanks for reading :)

Ali heard the crunch of gravel behind her, but didn’t turn around as she took another swig of the Jack Daniel’s bottle. She had gone there to escape and didn’t feel like making small talk with anyone. Unfortunately, her wishes weren’t granted as she felt someone sit down next to her.

“Hey, Alex,” said a voice. It was Kyle.

She ignored him, keeping her jaw tight as she looked out at the cityscape in front of her and took another sip.

Kyle hung his head, sad to find her in such a state. “I thought I’d find you up here,” he said quietly, folding his hands in his lap as he took in the beautiful scene. This was her spot whenever anything went wrong. When she lost a big client she would go there. When she broke up with Lexi she had gone there. When their grandmother had passed away, that’s where she went. And now, after Ashlyn’s funeral a week after she found out about the explosion, that’s exactly where he found her, at Griffith Park, sitting on the same rock with Bandit sprawled out at her feet, looking out over the city as the sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon. On any other occasion it would have been something to marvel at, but tonight that wasn’t the case, especially when his sister was halfway into a bottle.

“If you notice the expansive wilderness surrounding me, you’d get the hint that I kind of came out here to be alone, Kyle.” Her tone was vicious and words were laden with anger. She was frustrated that he had come when all she wanted was to be alone with her thoughts.

“You don’t have to face this alone, Alex. We’re all worried about you.” His voice was firm, but still with a hint of comfort.

Unfortunately it fell on deaf ears as Ali wanted nothing to do with his attempts to console her. “Kyle, I don’t need everyone babying me! I really just need to be alone right now! Why doesn’t anyone understand that?”

Kyle looked down at his feet where Bandit had begun to chew on his shoelaces. “Well why does Bandit get to stay and I don’t?” he asked nonchalantly, rubbing the top of Bandit’s head after moving his foot so his shoelaces were out of reach of the little puppy’s jaws.

“Because Bandit doesn’t talk, Kyle,” she quickly retorted.

She had a point, Kyle realized. “Well how about if I don’t talk then? I’ll just sit here quietly with you,” he added.

“Fine,” she huffed. She knew there was no way Kyle was leaving so the least she could do was get him to shut up while he sat there. Being mean wasn’t her intention, but she wasn’t ready for any more of the probing questions and weak attempts to tell her everything was going to be okay. Because it wasn’t going to be okay. Ashlyn had been taken from her and that was that.

Fifteen minutes went by with an eerie silence settling between them, the only noise being the light wind rustling through the foliage around them and Ali occasionally taking a gulp of her drink. The sun had finally set and the magnificent pinks and oranges that had back dropped the city, had given way to a deep purple, and eventually a black sky peppered with a brilliant array of stars. Out here there were no engines running or horns blaring. There were no people, no distractions, no blinding lights, and none of the crazy bustle of city life. It was the perfect place to get away, to think and to mourn.

It had finally sunk in that Ashlyn was gone at the funeral. With every shot fired off during the salute, she could feel another bolt of piercing pain shoot through her heart reverberating through her body and putting yet another nail in the coffin that held the last shreds of her hope. The folded flag that they had handed her, was tear soaked within minutes as she clutched it to her chest, the last piece of her soldier that they army could give her. One by one as guests paid their respects to her and Ashlyn’s family before leaving, they all offered words of comfort and testaments to how proud she should be of Ash and what she accomplished. If only she could trade the amount of times she heard the word “hero” that day for Ashlyn’s safety. If she could trade every time she heard the phrase, “you’ll be okay,” for one more day with Ashlyn, she could have bought years more with her. If only it worked like that. If only.

Kyle noticed that Ali’s shoulders were beginning to shake and could see the glisten of tears rolling down her cheeks. He wrapped his arms around her and forcefully pulled her in close to him, holding her tight against his chest with her head tucked into his neck as he took the bottle from her hand and set it down next to them. She didn’t try to fight it and just melted into him, tears spilling down the front of his shirt as she was unable to control her sobs. He held her firmly, not letting go and still maintaining his promised silence. If Ali wanted to open up and talk, he knew it would be on her time. Since she had found out about Ashlyn, she had clamped up and shut everyone out. He knew it was her defense mechanism to become numb, but he also knew that when she came out of that state it was not going to be a pretty sight.

“Why did she leave us, Kyle? I loved her so much and now she’s just gone,” she finally mumbled into his chest through her garbled cries.

“Ali baby, she didn’t leave you. She’s still with you. In your thoughts, in your memories, in your heart. She’s still there, Alex,” he said as he pointed to her chest. “It’s just maybe not in the way you wanted her to be.”

“It’s not about wanting her. It’s about needing her. I don’t think I can go on with this. I really don’t think I can.”

Kyle looked at his sister, riddled with distraught. Her tired eyes were red and tear soaked strands of hair that had escaped from her messy bun were plastered to her face. Her breath smelled strongly of whiskey and she was subconsciously swaying gently back and forth. He could tell that she had lost some weight during the week and had it on good authority that no one had seen her eat anything of substance since the night she found out. Her face was hollowed and pale and the light had left her eyes, not to mention the empty bottles that had been piling up on her counter over the week. If he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t sure himself that she was going to make it through this. His sister was the strongest woman he knew, but he had never seen her this bad. He was genuinely worried about her.

“Ali, you have to get through this. Do you think Ashlyn would want you to shut down and give up?” He asked her, lifting her chin up with his hand so she would meet his gaze.

“No,” she said almost inaudibly as she shook her head and then dropped her gaze back to the ground where Bandit was peacefully curled up at her feet.

“Exactly,” Kyle encouraged. “She loved you more than I’ve ever seen someone love someone else, Alex. And because of that I know that she would want you to be happy. She would want you to move on and live your life. Ash would want you to go on and live the most fantastic life filled with family, friends, laughter, love and amazing memories.”

Another round of tears rolled down Ali’s cheeks at Kyle’s words as she pushed from Kyle’s grasp. “But how can I do that without feeling guilty? I don’t think I can have fun or laugh and smile knowing that she’s not there to enjoy it with me. I feel guilty moving forward and living life when she doesn’t get the chance to do it with me. She doesn’t get to live in my new house in the suburbs. She doesn’t get to see Bandit grow up, doesn’t get to raise my children. How can I live with myself if I just forget her and move on?”

“Ali you can’t think about it like that. You’re not moving on without her, you’re moving on for her. And you don’t have to forget her baby.” He slung his arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head before whispering. “You never ever have to forget her.”

A silence fell between them again as Ali sighed and thought on his words. Everything he said made sense, but she still couldn’t bring herself to do it. She hadn’t been to work in a week. She hadn’t left her house in a week besides the funeral and she hadn’t really eaten anything for a week either. Her family had come and gone, checking in on her every morning and every night to make sure she hadn’t withered away and to feed and walk Bandit. She knew what she was supposed to be doing, but her mind couldn’t bring her body to do it. Her insides still felt empty and numb and her thoughts were solely consumed with Ashlyn. She could feel her body slowly deteriorating along with her mind, but didn’t know how to get back on track. “I don’t even know how to try.” She whispered it mostly to herself, but Kyle picked up on her words.

“We’ll do it together, Alex. Everyone will help. We’ll all get through this together. You just need to let us help. Let’s all do it for Ashlyn and make her so proud,” he further prodded, looking down at his little sister with a warm smile.

“Okay,” she whispered through a sigh. “We’ll do it for Ash.” In that moment she realized that some things hadn’t change. She would still do anything for Ashlyn.


	50. The Plan

“Today’s the day,” said Ashlyn, trying to sound confident though finding little success. 

A disgruntled Danny looked back up at her with a condemning stare. “Oh yeah? After, what, six months in this shit hole you think today is magically going to be the day? Good to know,” he scoffed as he whipped a small rock against the wall. 

Ash knew his skepticism was warranted. The last six months had been hell for both of them. The irregularity of food and water, the fact that they were trapped in a small room together with just two beds and a metal bucket to relive themselves in and the lack of any sign that the U.S. government knew they were there left little room for hope. The frequent beatings for information did little to help, although eventually those became less common. Their captors had resigned themselves to the fact that they weren’t going to get any information out of the soldiers and were solely keeping them as bargaining chips. Though they couldn’t pass up the occasional chance to reaffirm to the soldiers who was in charge, it was usually just fists and boots causing the pain, no longer water boarding or sharp instruments.

She looked up at Danny and into his eyes. They were dull, colorless because long ago the life had left them. Every opportunity they had the first few months they searched for ways to escape. They studied the guard patterns, peered out the barred windows to try to scout positions and sat listening for countless hours a day trying to gain any intel what-so-ever; names, numbers of guards, troop movements, anything at all. For so long they had been diligent, relentless in finding a way out, a way back to their loved ones, but these men were good. The guard checks were infrequent and they always came in numbers and heavily armed. There had been no openings and as every day went by, they became less and less attentive, slowly losing their resolve and becoming shells of their former selves. 

Ash as always, tried to stay positive, but even she was having a hard time. Six months had gone by as displayed by the array of marks they had made on the wall every day the sun came up. Six months without anyone coming from them. Six months without their families knowing the truth. Six months without being able to feel the sun on their faces or the cool taste of water on their tongues. Even though they were refined to a box to sit and wait, Ashlyn had never felt more exhausted. Her frame had hollowed as had her face, her muscles all but disappearing. Part of her wanted a mirror, but the other part of her knew she wouldn’t recognize the person on the other end of it. Part of her wanted to get home, back to Ali, but the other part of her was scared that Ali wouldn’t recognize her either, both physically and mentally. She was a different person, hardened by what had happened to her. Though she was trapped with Danny, over the last few months they had spoken less and less, both becoming more recluse as they individually accepted their fates. 

Yet despite their failures, today she felt different. Today she felt a glimmer of hope return to her. Maybe it was because the rays of sun were beaming through the cracks in the window again after a week of being absent, or maybe it was the fact that they had actually been fed dinner the night before, but she felt fuller, spiritually and physically, than she had in a while. She looked at Danny and mustered a smile and said assuredly, “Yes, I do think today is going to be the day.”

Danny rolled his eyes and looked away. He had had enough of Ashlyn’s blind optimism already and the sun had just risen. The fight had left him long ago and he had given up on getting home to his wife. Danny knew the stories all too well about the soldiers who got captured and never seemed to make it home. Though he wanted desperately to believe Ashlyn, he couldn’t bear to get his hopes up only to have them be crushed again.

Ashlyn saw the defeated look in his eyes and something flared up inside of her. She needed him, needed his support and most likely needed his assistance and she would be dammed if she was going to let him sulk anymore. Her thin muscles tensed up as she stood up, grabbed Danny and slammed his back against the wall. His eyes went wide in disbelief, but he was too weak to fight it. “Listen to me, and listen to me real hard, Danny. I am getting out of this hell hole tonight with or without you. Now I don’t want to have to explain to everyone when I get back why I made it back, but you couldn’t seem to pull your head out of your own ass or your pity party or whatever the hell it is you have going on, but I will. You know why? Because I have someone to live for. I have someone that is worth fighting for, worth dying for to get back to them. And I thought you would feel the same way about your wife, but maybe you don’t really love her. Maybe you just wanted someone to write you letters and tell you that they miss you.” She could tell her strategy was working because the darkness had left his eyes and now they were becoming red, incensed with anger. Finally, he starting to feel again. She kept pushing him. “Hell maybe you just wanted a pretty girl waiting for you when you got home to screw! I don’t know your story, but I know that my girl is worth fighting to get back to and that’s what I’m going to do, with or without you.”

Danny shoved Ashlyn back as she finished her tirade. His eyes were glowing read and a scowl had fallen over his face. “Fuck you, Ashlyn! You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!” He spewed his words at her with clenched fists.

“Oh there you go. Now you’re starting to feel something. Look at those fists,” she prodded, pointing down to his balled up hands. “Now you look like you’re ready to fight. Now you look like a soldier again. How does it feel?” she jeered at him with a taunting smile. “How does it feel to act like a U.S. soldier again?”

“Fuck you!” he screamed, louder this time than his voice had risen in months. “I’ve always been and always will be a U.S. soldier!”

“Then act like it!” she angrily yelled back, shoving his shoulders until he was backed up into the wall. “Fucking act like it!”

Just then two guards rushed into the room, guns drawn as Ash had Danny pinned up against the wall, still screaming. She paused and cast a glance behind her at the men whose guns were pointed at her back before looking Danny in the eye and whispering, “Time to prove it,” before socking him in the face with a right hook out of nowhere.

Danny dropped to the ground and clutched his face, looking up through cracked eyes in disbelief at Ashlyn who was standing over him. “Yeah that’s what I thought!” she taunted as he laid there, hoping he would catch on to the plan.

Before she could take another step, Danny had leapt into the air, throwing all of his weight at her as he tackled her down to the ground. They wrestled for a moment for top position, which Danny due to his size and strength, easily gained. He looked down at Ashlyn with a doubtful gaze as his fist clenched up. 

“Admit it, you’re a fucking coward,” she shrieked while flashing him a wink after looking over at the guards who had momentarily lowered their guns to watch their captives go at it.

Danny took a deep breath and began reigning blows down on Ashlyn’s already bruised and battered body. The first few stung, even though she knew he was holding back a bit on his punches. It wasn’t enough for them not to hurt, but it was enough that they were still believable. She fought back, trying to get Danny off of her, but didn’t put too much effort into it.

After a few more punches, the guards could see that he had gone mad and wasn’t going to stop. Blood had sprayed out from above her eye with the last blow he landed and the guards quickly jumped in. The last thing they needed was two dead P.O.W.s. Both guards grabbed one of Danny’s shoulders and ripped him back, tearing him off of Ashlyn while screaming at the two of them to stop. She laid there for a moment before jumping up and going after Danny again, laying down her own barrage of blows, desperately hoping the guards would separate. They needed one on one type of numbers. It worked, the second guard let go of Danny and launched himself at Ashlyn, trying to pin her to the wall. The biggest mistake the men had made was dropping their guns and simultaneously their guard. 

With one swift action, Ashlyn spun around and swung her leg, getting her attacker, who was caught off guard, to topple to the ground. At the same time, Danny spun and grabbed his assailant’s gun plowing two rounds straight through his gut. The man dropped to the ground as a pool of blood began to form around his body. Danny bent down to remove the gun strap from around the man’s next, before casting a glance at Ashlyn who was struggling on the ground. Before he could react, Ashlyn had freed a gun from the man’s hand, and sent a few rounds of her own into his side. Instantly his body relaxed, sagging back onto the floor.

“Welcome back!” she smiled at Danny. “Now let’s get the hell out of here.”

Danny slung the gun around his neck and nodded with a reaffirming glance as Ashlyn followed suit. They knew the other guards would be there soon after hearing the commotion and they needed to get out as quickly as possible. He peered out the door and saw two more guards sprinting down the hall, guns raised. Danny ducked back out of the door way, his back up against the wall, as Ashlyn did the same. The made eye contact and Ashlyn mouthed “one, two, three,” before both jumping out on the third count and sending a barrage of bullets hurling down the hallway. The two guards slumped to the floor as they ducked back in to wait and see if anymore were coming.

Ashlyn’s heart was racing a million beats a minute and although she felt weak from the lack of food and water, adrenaline was raging through her veins. They were so close. So close to breaking out. So close to freedom. So close to home. She took a deep breath and then looked up at Danny, “Ready?” she whispered under her breath. He nodded in response and she added, “Follow my lead,” before ducking out of the doorway.

Ash kept her gun raised, trained on the area in front of her. She felt Danny stepping close behind her, his gun pointed at the other side of the hallway. They moved stealthily down the hallway. Quietly so that they didn’t make much noise, but quickly enough to close the gap to the door way. After stepping over the bodies of their fallen enemies, they reached the main door. Ashlyn raised a fist in the air and Danny halted next to her. “Listen, we’ve seen what’s out there.” She was referring to the intel they had gained from peering out of the windows. The building they had been trapped in was in the middle of the city and they could see people carrying about the normal lives on a daily basis. Hidden in plain sight, it was the perfect ploy. “There are civilians out there so we need to be careful and find some way to contact base. A radio, a phone, anything. Keep your eyes open, no civilian casualties and watch your six, kid,” she concluded.

“Got it,” whispered Danny, his heart also rushing after the events that had just occurred and were about to occur. “Let’s get out of here, Sergeant Harris,” he added with a smile. 

Ashlyn smiled back, taken aback by the humility of the moment. They were on the same team again and were finally catching a lucky break. With a smash, she broke off the lock with the butt of her gun and then slid the latch over to open the door. “Here we go,” she breathed out as she swung the door open.

As the sun flared into the hallway and seared into their eyes it took a moment for them to adjust. Ashlyn shook the burn out of her eyes, narrowing them a bit before stepping out into the street. With her gun down, but at the ready, she took in the sight before her. The street was relatively empty, spare a few people that were making their way down the street, purposely ignoring the two Americans who were wielding weapons. It seemed quiet, like there were no reinforcements coming, so Ashlyn signaled for Danny to move out. He came up next to her, eyes trained on the other side of the street looking for any threats. They moved down the street in unison, keeping their heads on a swivel as they did. 

After slipping down an alley they came to a more secluded, residential street. “Let’s head into one of those houses,” she whispered over her shoulder. 

Danny followed her lead, sticking close to her gun raised; his back turned towards her to protect their six. Ashlyn approached a door and shoved her ear against it. She could hear a few voices talking inside, both male and female. With a swift kick, she buckled the door in and they raised their guns. Immediately the man and woman, who were in their forties or fifties, dropped their glasses and raised their hands in the air.

Ashlyn rambled off a few words, explaining they meant them no harm as she guided them to have a seat on the couch while Danny tore through the apartment in search of a phone or radio. “Got one!” he yelled, retreating from the bedroom with a small cell phone in his hand. “Here,” he extended the phone to Ashlyn who quickly grabbed it from his hand.

As she flipped open the phone, feeling the cold plastic in her hand, she could feel the freedom it gave her. One call and the U.S. military would be flooding the area to retrieve them. 

“Remember the number?” Danny teased as Ashlyn looked down at the number. 

Ash smiled back up at him, “How could I forget?” she retorted, remembering how it had been drilled into them day after day in meetings and training sessions. “Let’s go home.” She intensely dialed the numbers and whipped the phone up to her ear, listening as it rang.

“Identification number?” came a voice from the other end of the line just as an onslaught of bullets flew through the room. 

Ash ducked down to avoid the barrage as the phone flew out of her hand, landing across the room. Ashlyn screamed Danny's name to tell him to take cover, but her eyes didn't leave the phone that was lying on the ground. "Harris, no!" she heard Danny yell frantically, but she wasn't listening. It was their only option she thought as she was about to leap up and make a mad dash for the phone. It was their only option, until being smashed into pieces by the heel of a sneering man. Six militants flooded into the room behind him, guns raised, as they began shouting at the Americans to put their weapons down and stay on the floor. Ashlyn’s glance flew to Danny and could see the fight instantly leave his eyes again as he put his hands in the air. They were outnumbered. They had been so close, but fighting now would be a suicide mission. Ashlyn dropped her head, sliding her gun away as the men rushed over and ripped her to her feet, slamming a hood over her head. They had been so close. So close, but yet so far.


	51. The Healing Process

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and kudos! I definitely appreciate you guys and I promise I won't let you down. Have some faith ;)

“You’re what?!” bellowed Whit, spraying her drink across the table as the statement caught her off guard. At first she thought she had heard incorrectly, but judging by the reaction, she had heard it exactly right.

Ali sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. She knew this was going to be a difficult conversation. “You heard what I said, Whit. She’s moving in.”

Whit furiously shook her head back and forth, her eyes drawn to Ali’s defiant glare. “Ali, do you really think that this is a good idea? I know it’s been six months, since, you know,” her eyes dropped to the table, not wanting to mention Ashlyn, “since Ash left, but do you really think you’re ready for that?”

Ali sighed. There it was. She had known it was going to come out, but didn’t think Whit would go there so soon. “Whit, I’m doing better. Really I am. I’ve gone back to work, I’ve put in plenty of time with a therapist and I’ve been feeling like myself again. Well, as much myself as I can be,” she added as she fiddled with the napkin her drink was resting on. “I know I’ll never feel full again, like there’s a part of me that will always be missing, but I need to put myself back out there and start living again. I think I can do that.”

“Ali, you honestly think it’s going to end well with Jordan moving in?” She glared at her friend with pursed lips, knowing full well that this was going to blow up in her face.

“It’s not even like that,” she replied a bit agitated. “Her landlord is kicking out all the tenants in her building to convert them into condos and she just needs a place to crash until she gets back on her feet. It’s not what you think,” she tried to add convincingly. “She’s a cool girl, but nothing has happened between us and nothing will. Besides, you know it’s going to be a short term thing so what’s the issue?”

Whit wasn’t buying it, “I’m sureee that’s all this is.” The issue was that Ali was about to move in with a hot girl that hadn’t been shy about hitting on her in the first place and her friend was still lost, emotional and lonely, all of which made a terrible combination, no matter how short the duration. Her tone was a bit cynical to convey this which caused Ali to lash out.

“Cool it, Whit. I’m a big girl and can make my own decisions.” Breaking eye contact, Ali took a sip of her drink, savoring the cool, yet burning sensation it left down her throat.

There was no use arguing the matter anymore. Ali had changed since Ashlyn and was a lot more likely to lash out and a lot less receptive to logic. Even the type of logic that told her it was an extremely bad idea to let a gorgeous, 23 year old, newly hired associate move in with her. She just shook her head and shrugged. “Hey, whatever. Do what you want I guess.”

Rolling her eyes, Ali took another swig of her drink. “It’s just for a little bit, Whit. A temporary thing, okay?”

Whit hummed, accepting defeat for the moment, but knowing she would be there when it all fell apart. She always was. “So when is she moving in?” she threw out before taking a sip of her beer.

“She has to be out by the end of the week,” said Ali with little emotion. “So probably as soon as she can pack her stuff up. She said something about moving in bit by bit this week. I gave her a key so I guess whenever.” She shrugged and her tone was casual as she tried to downplay the situation.

“You’re killing me, Ali,” She said with a shaking head and sly grin. Although Whit was smiling at her, she really wanted to jump across the table and shake some sense into her. It was true what Ali had said, that she was coming back to her old form, but there were subtle differences in her personality. She was still fun to be around most times, but she didn’t seem to smile and laugh much. Fun drunk Ali had turned into a little less fun, a little more emotional drunk Ali. And even though she had returned fully to work, she never talked about cases anymore. She never really seemed excited or passionate about work anymore and didn’t seem to put much effort into her appearance either. She was, in a sense, herself again, but a shell of herself and Whit was afraid that she was never going to emerge from that shell ever again.

“So how’s work?” She tried to prod the conversation a bit and get Ali to open up.

“Eh, it’s alright.” She shrugged and tipped her head back, finishing off her drink in one gulp before signaling the waitress to bring over another.

“Anything new going on? Any good cases you got?”

She shook her head. “Nothing really. Same old, same old. And you?” She tried to volley the conversation back to Whit, who luckily obliged.

“It’s good. I’m working on training the person that’s taking my old position. I move into my new promoted position at the end of the month so that’s exciting.”

“Nice,” Ali replied nonchalantly as she looked down and fiddled with her napkin some more.

She seemed disinterested and Whit was getting annoyed. She had gotten used to this distant version of Ali, but sometimes wished that she could do something about it. She had tried everything, but the only time she genuinely saw Ali smile is when they would go surfing. Even then she was still recluse. She would paddle out and sit on her board, often with her eyes closed and just float there for hours, with a soft smile spread across her lips. The rest of the day Ali would still be smiling, but the next day would return to her shell, removing herself from the world. If Whit had left her there, she would bet that Ali would never leave the water.

She sighed and called the waitress over to ask to close out the tabs.

“I got it,” Ali slurred as she tossed her credit card towards Whit, watching it slide across the bar top.

“It’s fine, Ali. I got this one,” replied Whit as she pushed the card back towards her. When the check came, her eyes went wide. Ali had had five drinks in the hour and a half they had been there. Guess I’m taking you home, thought Whit as she slipped a hundred dollar bill in the book and set it where the waitress could easily grab it. “Ready?” She shot a glance at Ali who just nodded in return, her head drooping a bit from all of the alcohol. “I’ll drive.”

Ali tried to stand up, but stumbled a bit before Whit caught her. It broke her to see her best friend like this. She wished there was more she could do, but had tried everything. She had moved in with Ali for the month after the funeral. She cooked, cleaned, did laundry and made sure Bandit was taken care of. Every night she would hold Ali as tears streamed down her face. The first few weeks were bad, with the constant crying, but honestly it was what happened after that was worse. At least when Ali was upset, she was speaking, she was feeling and she was letting Whit in. One day, that all changed. The walls went up and Whit hadn’t been able to get them down since. Ali never cried anymore, never spoke about Ashlyn anymore, she just didn’t feel anymore. She would rather be numb than deal with the pain anymore and it was like she had just shut down that side of her. It was sad to see her like this, and Whit still hadn’t given up hope yet. “Come on babe,” she said as she slipped her arm against Ali’s waist, taking some of the weight for her friend. “Lets’ get you home.”

Whit took the long way home, hoping the Ali would sober up a bit. The cool night air that crept in through the cracked windows definitely helped and by the time they pulled up to her place, her head was a bit less foggy and she was a bit more coordinated. “Thanks for the ride and sorry about earlier,” Ali offered as she stepped out of the car. “I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me and I hope you know that.”

She sighed and looked up at her friend with a sympathetic smile. “It’s okay, Ali. You know I’ll always have your back, girl.”

“I know,” she smiled back. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“You got it,” said Whit as Ali closed the door behind her and made her way into her building.

She was confused when she saw her condo door cracked. At first she thought her tipsy mind was playing tricks on her, but as she got closer she could tell that the door was definitely ajar. With a bit of caution Ali pushed open the door and stepped over the threshold out of the hallway, her cell phone in her hand ready to make a call. “Hello?” she called out, unsure of what she was expecting.

“Oh hey, Ali!” came a chipper voice from the hallway. “Sorry I’m just moving some boxes in. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Ali saw Jordan’s face appear from around the corner and she breathed a sigh of relief, glad that it wasn’t an intruder. “Oh it’s no problem at all,” she added with a smile. “I’m going to hop in the shower and then head to bed probably.”

Jordan looked up at her with a suggestive grin, “Can I join?”

Her eyes twinkled a bit and Ali’s eyes dropped to her lips for a moment as her mind swirled before she stammered, “I uhh…I…um…”


	52. The Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feedback so far! To be honest I had this whole story line mapped out and was about 15 chapters in before I started reading a lot of other stories on this site and after I read Keep Us Together (which was a great story btw!) I had to go back and change things because it was pretty similar. That being said, I promise this has a different ending and doesn't follow that one too closely over the next few chapters. Hope you enjoy and thanks to everyone who's stuck with me :)
> 
> P.S. This chapter has the back and forth viewpoints again.

“Did you just get an emergency call, Clark?”

“Yeah I did. They didn’t say anything though. There was just a bunch of shouting and gunfire and then the line went dead.”

“Did you run GPS on the call?”

“Of course I did, Miller,” he said curtly. “It came out of the 6th quadrant. We haven’t had anyone there for weeks. You think it was a freak call? A wrong number?”

“I don’t know,” said Miller as he listened to the call that Clark played for him. “Let’s get the translator in here.”

______________

“I…uhhh…”

Jordan immediately picked up on Ali’s sheer confusion and let a small laugh escape her lips. “I was just kidding, Ali!” she said, shaking her head back and forth. “But glad to know you didn’t shut me down right away,” she added with a wink.

Ali rolled her eyes, hoping that Jordan was really just joking. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea after all. “You know me, Jordan. I never bring my work home with me,” she replied with her own coy wink which was followed promptly by a giggle. Two could play that game.

“Ohhh that’s how it’s going to be?” she asked as she began pushing her boxes back down the hallway towards the guest bedroom. “Well, I might just forget to pay rent this month!” she called over her shoulder.

“I’m not charging you rent!” Ali yelled down the hall to her as she rolled her eyes. On the other hand, maybe this would work out just fine.

_____________

“What do you think? Just a wrong number dialed?” questioned Miller as the translator removed the headphones and looked over at them, his face puzzled.

“Play it again, please,” requested the translator. “But slow it down a notch.”

Clark responded, and adjusted the speed of the call for him.

The translator slipped both headphones snugly over his ears again, his face wrinkled as he concentrated intensely. Suddenly, his eyes went wide as the call finished. “Get the Lieutenant in here, NOW!”

________________

After stashing the boxes she had brought over into the spare room, Jordan plodded back down the hall, taking in the art work that hung on the wall. “This really is a beautiful place you have. Thank you again for letting me stay with you. I really appreciate it and promise it won’t be long until I find a new place.” She gave Ali a genuine smile that set her at ease.

“No problem at all. Want to grab some dinner quick? I’m actually not that tired anymore.”

“Sure,” replied Jordan. She wasn’t sure what caused Ali’s sudden turn around, but she wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to keep her company. Even as just friends she enjoyed being around Ali, especially since they could easily banter back and forth, not to mention the occasional flirting. She wanted more, but hadn’t pushed anything after everything Ali had just been through. She just wanted to see her smile, to see her be happy again. Just friends was okay, for now. “Let me grab my sweater and then we can head out.”

Jordan returned a minute later, with her light cardigan wrapped around her. “Ready hot stuff?” she said with a laugh as she slipped Ali’s arm through her own.

_______________

“Did you hear that?”

“That call just came in, Miller?” came a gruff voice from the oldest man in the room.

“Yes, Lieutenant. We just received it on the emergency contact line a few minutes ago.”

“And we had no agents in that area today?” said the Officer standing closely to the Lieutenant.

“No, sir. Haven’t had anyone in that area for weeks.”

“And you said they were yelling, ‘put your weapons down and get on the ground?’ to the caller?” He turned now to face the translator to the left of him.

“Yes, sir. They repeatedly yelled for them to put their weapons down and put their hands behind their heads. That’s all I could make out before the call cut out. I would say with certainty that those are Americans they’re yelling at.”

“Play it again,” the man in charge demanded as he grabbed the back of Clark’s chair tightly. “Those are our soldiers in there.”

With a few keystrokes Clark had rewound the recording and played it again, this time turning up the volume. They listened closely as they asked for the identification number, which was promptly followed by a spray of bullets and a bunch of men frantically yelling in Arabic. Just before the line went dead, there were a few more muffled screams.

“Pause it right there, Clark. Now go back a few seconds.”

He responded, doing as his Lieutenant ordered and playing the recording again.

“Can you isolate that background noise?”

“Of course, Lieutenant.” A few more keystrokes and he had enhanced the background noise. Hitting play again, they all listened intently.

“Did you hear that?”

“I did, sir,” replied Clark and Miller in unison with wide eyes as they glanced over their shoulders back at the Lieutenant, Officer and translator, whose eyes were just as wide.

“Make the call,” he instructed to the other man standing next to him.

________

Ali was at first taken aback by the contact Jordan initiated, but didn’t pull her arm back. She did this with all of her friends and figured there was no harm in it and she especially liked the warm feeling that was lingering there. They made small talk all the way down to the parking garage. Ali went to dig through her purse to grab her keys, but Jordan gently grabbed her hand.

“Let me drive. I’m taking you out tonight as a thank you.”

“You don’t have to,” she responded, gently shaking her head as she met Jordan’s gaze. She felt guilty allowing the younger woman to pay for their night out.

“I know I don’t have to. You also didn’t have to let me move in with you,” she teased with twinkling eyes. “Please. It’s the least I can do.”

“Alright,” said Ali with a shrug. “Just this once!” she said with a smile.

“Alright, next time we’ll go to the most expensive place in town and I’ll let you pay.” She winked at her again before unlocking her Mercedes.”

Ali looked the sexy, black coupe up and down a few times before sliding into the passenger seat and settling into the plush black leather seats. “How much are we paying you if you can afford this car?” she laughed, shooting Jordan a teasing grin. Jordan didn’t answer and just rolled her eyes, to which Ali muttered under her breath, “Maybe I will charge you rent.”

“Hey!” said Jordan as she turned and poked Ali gently in the ribs. It made her laugh and squirm and she tried to block her continued attack as Jordan leaned over from the driver’s seat. Just then her phone began ringing and they stopped in their tracks, meeting each other’s gaze. Their eyes lingered there for a moment before Jordan pulled her hand back from Ali’s waist, “You going to get that, boss?”

As she stared into Jordan’s captivating eyes, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to get the phone. She had felt something in that moment that she hadn’t felt in a long time. She couldn’t pinpoint what the feeling was, but was more surprised that for the first time in months, she had actually felt _something_. “No, I’m not,” she said, leaning back in her seat and keeping her gaze locked on Jordan who just stared back at her shocked, unsure of whether or not to make a move.

_____________

“No answer, sir. Should I try it again?”

“Yes. Give it one more try.”

_____________

After a moment of awkward silence, Jordan slid her hand across the center console and gently grazed Ali’s arm. Her roaming touch left a trail of goose bumps down Ali’s arm. Meeting her gaze, she could see that Ali was looking at her with hungry eyes, but there was something holding her back. Behind the hunger there were deeper feelings of confusion, fear and pain. Those feelings were starting to shine through and Jordan desperately wanted to keep them down as she witnessed the internal struggle that Ali was going through at the moment being played out in her soft brown eyes. She pulled her hand back, not wanting to push it any farther. Ali’s breath hitched as the emotions swirled throughout her trying to battle each other to come to a resolution on her next course of action. 

Just then her phone rang and startled Ali as Jordan pulled back with a light sigh. “You should get that,” she said with a serious tone. 

Ali peeled her eyes away from Jordan’s face and quickly dug through her purse. She pulled out her phone, confused at the number. Quickly, she accepted the call, figuring it was work. “Hello?”

“Hello ma’am. Am I speaking to Alexandra Krieger?”

“Yes you are,” she said with a hint of agitation. Her mind was still reeling from the situation she had just found herself in and if she was being honest with herself, judging by how fast her heart was beating she still wasn’t sure that answering the phone had been the best choice. “May I ask who am I speaking with?”

“Oh yes, of course. This is Office Schuler from the U.S. Army. We have some new information on Sergeant Ashlyn Harris. Would you be able to come down to the base and meet with someone?”


	53. The Explanation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one for tonight. Hope you enjoy!

Ali stood anxiously in the room she had been ushered to, leaning up against the wall fiddling with the zipper on her purse as she waited for someone to come speak to her. Her mind was racing, flashing through all of the different things they were about to tell her. Was it details of her death? Was it that she was being awarded a medal or something of that nature? Was it that they found her body? It could be so many things and impatience was slowly eating away at her insides.

After what felt like an eternity, the door swung open and a tall, muscular middle-aged man walked into the room, with a smaller scrawnier man following closely on his heels. He provided and warm smile and handshake as he introduced himself, “Hello, Miss. Krieger. I am Officer Schuler. I spoke to you on the phone earlier and this is Deakin. Thank you for taking the time to come down and speak with us right away.”

“Of course,” Ali sputtered before quickly taking a seat across the table from the two men. “What is it you needed to discuss with me?” She wasted no time on formalities.

“Well, ma’am we’ve received some news on Sergeant Harris.”

“News?” she prodded, leaning forward on her elbows which were resting on the table. She could feel her heart fluttering in her chest as she waited for him to continue.

“Yes ma’am. We have reason to believe that Sergeant Harris may in fact be alive.”

Ali’s breath hitched before coming to a halt altogether as the world froze around her. Did he just say that they thought Ashlyn was ALIVE? Shivers shot up her spine and reverberated throughout her entire being, her hair standing up on end at this words. She wasn’t sure if he was telling the truth or if this was some sick joke they were playing on her. “A…alive? What?” she replied frantically with wide eyes when she was able to catch her breath and regain the ability to speak.

“Yes,” he promptly replied while sifting through some documents laid out on the table in front of him. “A call came in on the emergency line earlier this morning. The caller didn’t speak directly to the operator as it seems they were interrupted by what we’re assuming was their captors. There was a lot of screaming and gunfire, but we have reason to believe that there were two American soldiers on the other end of that call, one of which is Ashlyn.” He paused for a minute and gauged Ali’s reaction. She had turned ghostly white and he could make out the slight hint of tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

“Wha…wh…” Ali couldn’t even form words. She felt like there was a rock in her throat and still couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t real. “You’re telling me that Ash is alive? My Ashlyn is alive?” she finally whispered, almost inaudibly. It was a question that Schuler answered, but she had more so asked herself in disbelief. 

“As of this morning, yes she was alive. We specifically heard the other soldier, who we believe to be Daniel Kirsch yell her name in the recording.”

“Danny’s alive too?” she breathed out. Remembering how Ashlyn used to talk about him and his wife Heather all the time. At least Ash wasn’t alone through all of this.

“We believe so. Another Officer is debriefing his wife in the other conference room.”

For a moment Ali’s thoughts had briefly gotten off track, but as it really sunk in what this all meant, she looked back up with fiery eyes, ready to confront them. “How did this happen?”

“Well their helicopter was shot down and they were captured,” he said mater or factly, not catching on to the real meaning of the question.

“No how did all of this happen,” she said spreading her arms out wide, insinuating that her question had a bigger meaning.

“We’re sorry, but…Well these things happen sometimes, ma’am,” Schuler added, getting a bit defensive for the first time during the conversation.

Enraged, Ali pushed back from the table, her chair dragging against the floor with a high-pitched screech that made the two men cringe. “These things happen? That’s your answer? Are you fucking serious? Don’t give me that bullshit! You told me that she was dead!” she scoffed, the clear irritation showing through her tone. She continued to spell it out step by step for the men as her emotions overshadowed logic. “Your men came to my home and told me that they had been shot down. They told me that she was dead and reassured me that there were absolutely no survivors. They planned a funeral and handed me a pretty folded flag and shot off the guns over and over again. I grieved and cried and felt like I died myself for six god damn months. And finally I come to terms with the fact that there was always going to be a huge hole ripped through my heart and here you are to tell me that it was all for nothing? That it turns out that she was alive the entire time and you just don’t know how to do your job well enough to figure that out?!” Her voice was cracking and echoing through the room, but she couldn’t hold it in anymore as the tears flowed in waves down her flushed cheeks. The two men didn’t respond and simply looked up at her sympathetically, allowing her to continue her tirade. “Are you kidding me? She’s been alive and alone out there this whole damn time and you did nothing! Nothing! So don’t just sit there in your fancy uniforms and shiny boots and apologize to me because guess what? I’m safe. Heartbroken, but safe. But Ash isn’t. She’s out there,” she added, pointing off into the distance, “still fighting for this country, still fighting to get home. So stop wasting time! Go get off your ass and bring the love of my life home!” She collapsed in the chair exasperated after her outburst and looked at the men with angry, daring eyes.

The man cleared his throat after realizing that Ali was done for the moment. He was actually a bit surprised that so much anger and passion had come out of such a little body. Ali had been listed as Ashlyn’s emergency contact on her military intake forms, but the man hadn’t known the status of their relationship until her outbreak. As he looked the feisty brunette over, he noted to himself that Ashlyn, if she made it back, was one lucky woman. “Please calm down m’am. We’re doing everything we can to ensure Sergeant Harris’s safe return, Miss Krieger,” he said with a curt smile.

“And how are you doing that,” Ali demanded, her face still hot with anger, cheeks still wet with tears.

“We scouted the area and have determined their location. We actually have a team assembled and getting into position to move in as we speak,” he said calmly, not wanting to ignite the spark again. It didn’t work.

“You’re going in now?! What?” She couldn’t believe everything was happening so quickly and her emotions quickly turned from anger to confusion and worry. Her heart was sent racing as she realized that Ashlyn was going to come home to her.

“Yes. It should be a fairly quick in and out, but you never know,” he added with a hint of warning. He had seen extractions go both ways and didn’t want anyone’s hopes to get up.

“When will I know?” she inquired, again up and out of her seat, unable to contain herself as the tears pooled in her eyes. “When will you tell me what happened?”

The man cast a glance sideways at his partner who had yet to speak. He felt bad that the situation had arisen and wanted to help calm the distraught brunette. The other man read his mind and shrugged. “If you’d like you can listen in. We have the audio set up in the command center.”

Ali’s jaw dropped and her face displayed her true disbelief at the man’s statement. “Where?” was all she was able to get out as the man stood up and led her down the hallway. He opened a door to a dark room filled with computer screens and TV’s. “Have a seat there and stay quiet,” he pointed to an open seat against the back wall next to another woman who looked similarly shocked. “That’s Kirsch’s wife,” he added before turning and walking towards the front of the room. “Let’s get this show on the road, boys!” he yelled with authority as the men around him sprang into action, readying the equipment they needed to listen in.

As she approached Danny’s wife, Ali offered a small smile. “Hi, I’m Sergeant Harris’s, um girlfriend,” she mumbled, suddenly realizing how awkward it seemed labeling herself as just a girlfriend when they had felt like so much more.

The woman politely smiled and scooted over to make room. She tried to give Ali a reassuring nod, but the fear and uncertainty in her eyes couldn’t be overlooked. “I can’t… I can’t believe this is happening,” she said as calmly as her nerves allowed. “I can’t believe this is real,” she whispered under her breath, although loud enough for Ali to catch.

“I know. Six months…” her voice trailed off as she looked around the room at all the men who were hard at work.

“Do you think it’s going to work? Do you think they’re going to come home?” she said, looking worriedly up at Ali, suddenly unable to conceal the tears as her eyes searched for assurance.

Ali mustered a smile and slid her hand onto the other woman’s, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Yes I do.”

“How can you be so sure?” she whispered, her head sagging as she dropped her gaze to the ground.

Using her fingers, Ali lifted Heather’s chin so that their eyes met again. This time her gaze was sound and her tone was confident. “They’re coming home, Heather. I just know it. They’re coming home to us.”


	54. The Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has a little back and forth between locations. Anything in italics is the audio from the men on the mission/overseeing it.

After a few moments of patiently waiting, Ali stood up from her chair and wandered down to the front of the room, ignoring Heather’s remainders that they were to remain seated and quiet. She had waited long enough and just wanted someone to fill her in.

“Excuse me Miss. Krieger, you need to go back and have a seat,” said Schuler, briefly glancing up from a file he was reading.

“I just want to know what’s going on. You said we could listen, but didn’t give us any idea of when or what was even happening. Those are our loved ones in there. Don’t you think you owe us at least that?” She added the last few sentences with a bit of sass while raising her voice to get her point across.

Schuler lowered his papers and looked up incredulously at the fiery brunette standing in front of him, arms crossed, scowl strewn across her face. As much as he felt for her, he couldn’t have her challenging him in front of all of his men. “Miss. Krieger, I know you are not in the army and probably aren’t used to doing what people tell you, but here, on this base,” he said pointing down to the ground they were standing on, voice raising a bit, “when I give and order, people listen! I don’t owe you anything. I owe Sergeant Harris and Private Kirsch my full attention right now. So please go back to your seat, sit down, shut up and if you interfere with my mission once more I will have you thrown off the base.” He turned back to reading his file before registering Ali’s reaction.

Her jaw dropped at the way the man had just talked to her, and luckily the men around her were good at pretending they weren’t listening or they would have seen her face turn a bright shade of red. She dipped her chin and scurried to the back of the room, quickly sitting down next to Heather who offered her a quick, “It’s okay.” Ali kept fiddling with her zipper, keeping her eyes low as she waited for something to happen.

She heard someone walking towards them and a pair of boots stop beneath her gaze at the floor. Lifting her eyes she met a younger woman’s gaze. She was dressed in uniform and offered a small, polite smile. Leaning over, she placed her head between Ali and Heather. “Right now our troops are getting into position. We have snipers on the roof and 6 men about to breach the building which is a warehouse located in the middle of the city. They’re just waiting for final orders. It shouldn’t be too long now.” She gave them each a gentle squeeze on their shoulders before retracting and heading back over to her chair in front of a brightly lit computer screen.

As promised, in a few minutes the giant television screen before them lit up, showing a thermographic map of the building which was much more expansive than Ali could imagine. Ali could make out blobs of bright orange and red surrounding the building, as well as another group inside the building. Off to the far left, top corner, were two slightly less illuminated blobs that appeared to be lying on the ground and there were other blobs making their way through the premises as well.

_“This is Staff Sergeant Fisher. My team is in place and we are ready to breach. Waiting for final orders. Repeat, we are ready to go.”_

Ali jumped when she finally heard a voice come over the speaker system. It was loud and a bit static, but she could still make out the words fairly easily.

_“Copy that Fisher. This is Major Navarro. We have the images up here back at base. It looks like the two targets are in the southwest corner of the building and there is a group of hostiles in a room to the right of the entrance. We can make out 6 in the one room and two roaming throughout the building. Breach from the front entrance, take out the guards in the right room and then proceed with caution. Let’s get everyone home safe.”_

Ali followed the man’s instructions, while her eyes searched the map to validate all of the information he was giving them. She knew they were good at their jobs, but the suspense was agonizing. She just wanted her Ashlyn home safe. She listened as Fisher began whispering.

_“I copy that. Rodgers, Smith, Markey and Daniels will take the right room and eliminate the group of hostiles. Jones and I will head to the back room and secure the targets.”_

Ali wasn’t pleased that there were only going to be two men initially going for Danny and Ashlyn, but there was nothing she could do about it. She sighed and listened closer, waiting for the little blobs on the screen to rush into the building and get her baby out.

_“Copy that. You are clear to move Fisher. Good luck, soldier.”_

_BANG!_

_“Move! Move! Move!”_

Ali heard Fisher scream and saw the team flood through the door that had just been broken through. Gunfire rang out through the speakers making Ali cringe as she saw grainy blobs dropping to the ground.

_“We’re under heavy fire! They knew we were coming! It’s an ambush!”_

Ali’s skin began to crawl as the words reverberated through her mind followed by more barrages of gunfire. It wasn’t going to work. She heard a gasp and wrapped her arm around Heather, pulling her in closer, as Heather buried her head into Ali’s shoulder, unable to watch anymore as the mission failed. She hugged her tight, needing the comforting touch herself as well as her eyes stayed glued to the two blobs in the southwest corner that were now pinned against the back wall.

_“Smith and Rodgers are down, Fisher! We need to fall back!”_

_“Get them out of here, Markey! Daniels, Fall back!”_

Neither woman could fight the tears that were streaming down their cheeks as they heard Fisher order his men to fall back and they saw their chances slipping away. Two blobs, the bodies of Smith and Rodgers, were being dragged out the front door by fellow soldiers who posted up on the side of the building, allowing the snipers to take over protecting them from anyone that followed.

_“Jones watch your six!”_

Another barrage of bullets rang out and the audio screen went black.

“Shit get that back up, NOW!” demanded Schuler who had been pacing the room the entire time. He ran to one of the computers, and pushed the man away, frantically typing himself. When that still didn’t work he called out over the noise of screams and bullets, “SOMEONE GET THIS SATELLITE FEED BACK UP!”

_“Jones left side! Left side!”_

Another bevy of bullets followed by more screams.

_“Right side, Fisher! One on your right!”_

The silence was only momentary as another wave of gunshots blared through the speakers, echoing through the room they were anxiously waiting in.

_“What the? Grenade! GET DOWN!”_

_BANG!_

The audio immediately cut out, leaving only the sound of Schuler’s swearing and the hysterical sobs from Ali and Heather to fill the room. The two women were draped over each other, frantically gasping for breath after all the air had been sucked out of the room. Ali felt her heart being punctured with every gunshot fired during the encounter, finally exploding inside in rhythm with the detonation of the grenade. She didn’t think it was possible to ever hurt that bad again, to hurt the way she had when she had been told Ashlyn was dead, but she had been wrong. She had lost the only person she truly loved not once, but twice now. The pain was unbearable as she clutched Heather tightly, sobbing into her tangled, messy brown hair.

“Dannnyyyy,” wailed Heather as she shook uncontrollably in Ali’s arms, her voice wavering. “My Danny!”

“Shhhhh. It’s okay,” Ali cooed through her own tears as she buried her face into the top of Heather’s head.

“Get them out of here!” yelled Schuler as he pointed to the two inconsolable women in the back of the room. He had been confident in the mission before and never would have let them sit in if he thought it wouldn’t go their way. There was going to be hell to pay when word of this got to the higher-ups, but he had more to worry about at the moment. “Hill, get them out of here!” he ordered, as a man jumped up from his seat and approached the women with an apologetic look on his face.

They obediently stood up, Ali having to support a nearly collapsing Heather, and began to head out of the door. The man gently opened it and ushered them out, whispering, “I’m so sorry. I’ll take you back to the waiting room.” They exited the room and just as he was closing the door behind them, the audio came back online.

_“FISHER! FISHER! WHAT’S YOUR STATUS? THIS IS MAJOR NAVARRO. FISHER COME IN. FISHER, DO YOU COPY?”_

The man continued to try to guide Ali and Heather down the hall, but Ali pushed him off, turning and rushing back through the door into the Control Room as soon as she heard the audio click back on and Major Navarro’s voice fill the air.

_“FISHER DO YOU COPY? FISHER!”_

The radio silence was unbearable. Heather stumbled back into the room and wrapped herself around Ali as Hill shot an apologetic look to a glaring Schuler.

_“Fisher do you copy? Fisher come in. Do you copy?”_

The Major’s voice lowered a little, his tone less rushed and more somber, as if he was giving up on receiving a reply. Ali’s face dropped, still tear soaked but there were no more tears coming out. That was it. All of her hope had drained and once again she was left numb. The radio silence was the loudest thing she had ever heard as she felt the fight rush out of her. She could feel nothing inside or outside of her body, save the movements of Heather who was still sobbing into her side, her arms wrapped tightly against Ali’s now weak body. After a few minutes of no responses and listening to Major Navarro repeatedly ask for Fisher to copy, Ali had heard enough. Her shoulders slumped and she turned back towards the door, guiding Heather with her as Hill once again led them out of the room.

_“This is Fisher. Major Navarro do you copy? This is Sergeant Fisher. Does anyone copy?”_

Fisher’s voice once again pierced through the speakers and Ali immediately whipped her head around to listen.

_“YES WE COPY! WHAT’S YOUR STATUS, FISHER?”_

_“We’re on route to base. The convoy just picked us up. Smith and Rodgers need immediate medical attention, but are both breathing on their own and conscious. Jones took a ricochet bullet to the shoulder, but it only grazed him. No casualties on our end, Major.”_

_“Great work getting your boys out of there safe, Fisher! What’s the status on the targets?”_

Everyone in the room collectively took a deep breath and held it, waiting for the answer.

_“Both targets are secured. We’re bringing them in now. They’re coming home, sir.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew... that was an intense one to write! I hope you enjoyed it.


	55. The Weight Has Been Lifted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to post earlier today, but then I got mad at the USA game and was pouting for a bit lol. Sorry and I hope you enjoy!

When her alarm began blaring the next morning, after a very restless night of sleep - if you could call lying in bed staring up at the ceiling for six hours – sleep, Ali tore the covers off of her body allowing the cool air to wash over her. For once she relished the feeling, knowing that there was absolutely nothing that could bring her down from the high she was feeling. She strolled into the bathroom with Bandit following close behind before taking a quick shower and slipping into something comfortable, skinny jeans and a flowy blouse which hung loosely over the natural curves of her body. She threw her hair up in a messy bun before making her way out of the bathroom at towards her phone.

There were about one missed call from every member of her family and close friends, and an average of three text messages of similar sentiment. 

_Damnit, Kyle_ , she mumbled under her breath. She had called him on the way home from the base the night before to fill him in and apparently he didn’t remember the stipulation she gave him NOT to tell anyone. She clicked into the messages tab and began to read them one by one, glad that she had turned her phone on silent the night before.

Mom: Honey we just heard about Ashlyn! Call us as soon as you get this? I also left a voicemail. We love you and want to know that you’re okay!

Dad: Your mother is worried sick, Alex. Give us a call. We’re thinking of flying in after Ashlyn gets settled.

Whit: AHHHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL! CALL ME RIGHT AWAY, ALI!

Mom: Still haven’t heard from you yet. Hope everything is okay. We’re so happy that Ashlyn is safe and coming home to us all.

Dad: Seriously please call your mother. She is going crazy over here, pacing back and forth. I’m going to have to buy new rugs if she doesn’t get some answers soon.

Kyle: Soo I may have told mom and dad about Ashlyn. Can you please call them because Mom calls me every time after she calls you and you don’t pick up!

Megan: WTF DUDE! I can’t believe this. So happy for you Ali :) you two deserve each other

Jordan: Hey I know you said you’d call, but I’m guessing you’ve got a lot going on so no worries. If you need to talk, good or bad, I’m always here!

Whit: All I’m saying is CAN A BEST FRIEND GET A CALL AROUND HERE? Hope you’re okay babe!

Niki: Kyle just called me. Please keep me in the loop and let me know when a good time is to come by and see her! Oh and I’m definitely going to need a bros night out with her when she’s feeling better to celebrate. I promise to have her home before the sun comes up ;)

She smiled as she read the last messages, thinking how nice it felt to be supported by such loving and caring people who loved not only her, but Ashlyn as well. The genuine care they showed and level of investment they had taken in making sure Ali didn’t let herself go coupled with the unwavering enthusiasm they displayed that Ashlyn was coming back was enough to bring a few small tears to her eyes. Everyone had been so great to her and after falling off the wagon a few times, she knew she had some making up to do once she was back to her old self. Even though Ashlyn wasn’t with her yet, she could still feel the weight of the world lifted off of her shoulders. She set the phone down on the bed, vowing to respond to their messages and calls after she got some coffee into her system. The lack of sleep had left her drowsy and she needed her morning pick-me-up. 

As her mind flashed to coffee, her nose began to pick up the ever familiar scent. She ruffled Bandit’s ears, receiving a few playful licks from him in return and then stepped out into the hall, toes resting on the cold granite tiles, as the scent of coffee wafted from the other room. She made her way down the hallway, sniffing as she got close to the kitchen. Blinking a few times as the sun blared through the large glass windows, she saw Jordan posted up on a stool, cozied up to the breakfast bar. Her long, wavy brown hair was flowing, untamed for once, over her dark, tanned shoulders, which were bare except for the thin straps of the loose tank top she was wearing which hung tightly in just the right places. She lifted her gaze from the newspaper she was reading and gave Ali a soft smile, face ridden of the familiar traces of makeup that it always held when they were at work. In that moment as the sun gleamed through the window, casting a ring of light around her, she seemed more real. It was as if she seemed almost more vulnerable in this natural state. Beautiful, but still vulnerable. Ali didn’t know what surprised her more, that Jordan was in her apartment without her signature pencil thin skirt, revealing blouse, stilettos and seductive red-lipped smile, or that a plate of steaming pancakes and mug of coffee were sitting before her.

“What…what’s this?” asked Ali as Jordan pushed the mug down the counter and it slid to a halt in front of her.

“I just wanted to check in on you after last night. You said you would call, but when I didn’t hear anything I got nervous. So I decided the swing by, but you were still sleeping so I made breakfast.” She shrugged and took a long draw on her coffee, looking inquisitively up at Ali over the rim of her glass. “What happened? What’d they say?” 

“First off, I’m sorry I had to leave like that last night. I didn’t mean to be rude.” She hung her head for a bit, still feeling bad that she had just stormed off and left Jordan there without much on an explanation the night before. To top it off, they had just had an awkward encounter in the car and she didn’t want her to think that was why either.

“Oh no, don’t worry about it!” she said as she shook her head. “The Army called and said they had news on Ashlyn. I totally get it. I would have done the same exact thing. No hard feelings. Besides, I can’t compete with a war hero anyways,” she added with a wink and flashed a bright smile at Ali. After a moment of holding her gaze, she prodded some more. “Sooo….Are you going to tell me what happened?”

The smile dropped slightly from Ali’s face as she recalled the rollercoaster of emotions that she had been through the previous night. “Well, they…they told me that Ashlyn was alive. She had been taken captive instead of dying in the helicopter crash. Her and Danny survived, remember that one I told you about?”

Jordan nodded and patted the chair cushion next to her, urging Ali to have a seat. Ali walked over and slid into the chair, taking a moment to nibble on the corner of a pancake that Jordan had made her. 

Jordan sat back in the chair and aimlessly played with loose strands of her hair while she waited for Ali to continue. After a moment she looked up at her, eyes twinkling in the morning light, and urged her to go on.

“Well they found them. They found them and they went in to rescue them. I was there…I was in the room listening and watching everything. It didn’t seem real, it still doesn’t seem real…but it was.” She was void of emotions, still completely unsure of how to process everything that had happened. 

“Well…” questioned Jordan excitedly. “What happened? Is Ashlyn alright!?” She already knew the answer, but wanted to ask it anyways. She could tell by the way Ali was carrying herself, by the way she was smiling and just by the shining aurora that seemed to be hovering around her. That was exactly the way Ali was when she met her and she was glad to see her back in that state.

“They did! It was so intense…” Ali launched into a full, animated and excited account of the rescue mission. From the audio cutting out to the intense moments of silence to the screams and pleas of the extraction team to finally hearing the words ‘they’re coming home’, she spared no details.

Jordan sat back and smiled, listening intently as she sipped on her coffee and shared the plate of pancakes with Ali. She was glad that Ali had finally peeled out of her shell. Even if she wasn’t the one that was able to do it, she had to admit to herself that in the end that was all she really wanted. After mentally throwing in the towel on her romantic notions she asked the ever present question. “So when is she coming home?”

A soft sigh escaped Ali’s lips along with a smile, “This afternoon. She’s coming home on a transport plane which is set to land around 1pm.”

“Well, let the countdown begin,” said Jordan as she glanced up at the clock on the microwave. “You only have three hours left until you get to see that stud of yours again,” she added with a laugh which evoked a similar response from Ali.

“I knowwww! Do I look alrigtht? Should I change?” she asked, glancing down at her outfit and suddenly feeling nervous like she was going on another first date after realizing it was going to be her first time seeing Ashlyn again.

Jordan put her hand up in the air to silence Ali’s ridiculous statement. “First of all, you always look great. And second of all, you really think that’s what Ashlyn is going to care about after everything she’s been through?”

Ali looked down, feeling a bit shallow for a moment, but Jordan quickly cheered her up.

“Girl, the only thing that she is going to care is that you’re running into her arms and she gets to hold you for the first time in almost seven months. Seven months, Ali. And that’s after thinking she would never see you again. You could be wearing rags and I bet she would still have the biggest grin on her face.” 

“You’re right, Jordan. That is all that matters. And I just wanted to…to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. For this,” she splayed her hands to the breakfast feast in front of her, “for being there for me when everything with Ashlyn happened, for helping out at work when I was struggling with my cases. Just, thank you for everything. I mean it. I don’t know what I would have done without you and everyone else making sure I kept fighting the last six months.” Ali returned Jordan’s smile with a gracious one of her own and met her reassuring gaze, glad that she had given the girl another chance. She truly was becoming a friend, someone that she could look to in times of need, and she was glad that nothing further had happened between them the night before. Jordan was a sweet, loyal and obviously gorgeous girl, but Ali could never have given her what she wanted. They would have dated and had fun and maybe even fallen in love, but she never would have been able to give herself over completely. The truth was, she had nothing left of her heart to give because it still belonged to a certain Ashlyn Harris and that’s exactly where it was going to stay.

Jordan seized the moment before it got too sentimental, which she didn’t do well, and wrapped Ali in a tight hug, squeezing her a bit. She pulled back to meet Ali’s stare and added with a wide grin, “Don’t mention it. You’re not too bad to hang out with yourself,” she chuckled. “Now let’s eat up so I can get out of here and you can go get your soldier back!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the ever anticipated reunion and it should be up tomorrow night! :)


	56. The Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The much awaited chapter is finally here! It's longer than my other ones and I was thinking about making it into two chapters, but didn't want to drag it out anymore. Hope you enjoy :)

“How long until the plane arrives?” questioned a very anxious Ali. She was waiting at the base for the cargo plane that was bringing Ashlyn and Danny back, but it was running behind schedule and she was becoming increasingly impatient by the minute. She had already waited seven months, but every passing second where her eyes weren’t locked on Ashlyn seemed like another lifetime. It was like the universe was still plotting against them even after everything they had been through. She just wanted to see Ashlyn, to hold her and kiss her, but she was once again left waiting.

“Should be landing in fifteen minutes or so,” said Schuler who glanced up from his watch. “Miss Krieger, can you have a seat for a moment? There is something I need to discuss with you.” 

Ali noted that his tone was serious and his face matched so she quickly pulled out the chair and slid into it, facing him from the opposite side of the table. “What is it?” she asked cautiously. 

“Miss Krieger, in a few minutes I’ll take you out to the tarmac so you can greet Sergeant Harris, but there are a few things you need to know.”

Ali looked back at him intently waiting for him to continue. She had an idea of what he was going to say, but didn’t want to jump to conclusions. 

“What the Sergeant-“

“Can you just call her Ashlyn?” Ali interrupted.

“I…what?” he asked incredulously, his brow furrowing at the sudden request.

“Can you call her Ashlyn? It just makes me feel better to hear her name instead of just her title.” It was true. Through everything, she had been tired of just hearing everyone refer to her as the Sergeant as if that was that only thing that defined her. Ashlyn first and foremost was a person, her person and that’s how she wanted to hear her addressed.

The man nodded, not wanting to prompt another outbreak like the one last night. “Of course, ma’am.” He paused for a minute before continuing. “Although Ashlyn is one of the strongest women I know, what she went through…well it would be a difficult ordeal for anyone. She’s going to need someone by her side to help her through everything. She might seem withdrawn or recluse and you can’t hold her accountable for that. She was locked in a room for six months with very little human interaction and limited necessities. She may be…different.” His voice trailed at the end, unsure of how Ali was going to react to his warnings. 

Ali bowed her head and nodded. It was exactly the talk she was expecting because it was the same talk she had heard from every one of her family members and Whit and Meg when she returned their calls that morning. “I understand completely. I’m just glad to have her home, to be able to bring her home and take care of her.”

Schuler was taken aback by her statement and sat back in his chair which creaked slightly under his weight. “Miss Krieger, Ashlyn can’t go home right now.”

“What?” she replied, her tone unable to hide the confusion.

“She is being transported to the hospital immediately upon arrival. She was seen by the base doctor overseas and was cleared for transport, but she will need to spend a bit in the hospital before she can be released.”

The blood drained from Ali’s face. In all her excitement over the fact that Ash was coming home, she had failed to ask if she was okay. She was coming home, but was she coming home in one piece? Her not being in a casket was enough, but now with Ashlyn minutes away she needed to be briefed on the extant of her injuries. Her mind flashed back to the raid the other night and her imagination took over filling in what she thought could have happened to her during captivity. Voice trembling, she whispered, “Is she okay? What’s wrong with her? Was she…” She took a deep breath in before finishing, “Was she tortured?”

Schuler could see the pain behind Ali’s eyes as she asked her final question and tried his best to break it to her lightly, while still allowing the gravity of the situation to sink in. If Ali was truly going to be there for Ashlyn, she needed to be prepared for what was coming. She needed to be able to handle the truth, the gory, ugly truth. “As much as I wish I could tell you they didn’t lay a hand on her, I’d be lying. From the small details she provided it seems like she underwent some pretty vicious torture techniques while they were looking for information and sometimes when they were just looking for some fun.” He watched as a tear formed in the corner or Ali’s eye while she tried to fight it back, her forehead wrinkled as she tried to process his words. After looking at his watch, he knew they didn’t have too much more time so he went on. “She has some injuries that are going to demand close attention and definitely time in physical therapy. There’s a few broken ribs and a small stress fracture in her leg. She has some lacerations on her face that will need to be checked over thoroughly as well to make sure they don’t get infected. I’d say the worst of it though is that she dislocated her left shoulder, rather had it dislocated, most likely as punishment for their escape attempt. Aside from that, she is doing alright, albeit rather thin. There is no permanent damage physically though which is quite a miracle.”

His words hung in the air, dripping with skepticism as Ali thought through everything she had just been told. Her mind painted graphic pictures, filling in the holes in Schuler’s descriptions and sending shivers down her spine. She imagined Ashlyn being beaten and tortured and became a bit choked up at the thoughts. It finally hit her that while her baby was coming home, maybe it wouldn’t be the same one that left. “I understand,” she said, trying to muster certainty, though her glistening eyes deceived her.

“Well if you’re ready, we can head down to the tarmac.”

Ali nodded and stood up from her chair, eager to finally see her soldier again. She sped up her walk, matching Schuler’s stride as they made their way outside.  
________

“You ready for this, Harris?” 

Ashlyn looked up to see Danny walking back towards her from the cockpit. He had fared much better than her through the ordeal, especially once she told their captors that she was in charge and that Danny knew nothing. He still had some bruises and cuts on his face and body, but he wasn’t in a wheelchair and didn’t have his arm in a sling like she did. Breathing out a deep sigh she answered, “I guess I have to be.”

“Aw come on. What’s wrong, Ash?” Danny took a seat next to her and took a long swig on his water bottle. “You’ve got to be excited to see that smoking hot woman of yours,” he added with a teasing smile, which quickly dropped when he saw Ash’s head drop.

“What if it’s not the same Dan? What if she’s different or what if I’m too different? I’d be naïve to think that everything is going to just fall back to how it was before I left. I’m scared that maybe we both…maybe we both went through too much to fix it.” She turned away from him, looking out over the now empty area where boxes had been stacked in the back of the plane. “I mean…she thought I was dead for six months. What if she moved on?”

“You’re out of your mind! That girl loves you, Ashlyn. She wrote to you every week and never missed a call. And she’s going to be waiting on that tarmac for you with the biggest smile on her face. I bet it’ll make me want to puke when I see how cute you two are together. You’re going to make Heather jealous,” he chuckled, giving her good shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Ashlyn changed the subject away from her as she glanced back to meet Danny’s gaze. “I bet Heather can’t wait to see you,” she laughed. “Her own little American hero,” she added, poking him in the side.

Danny laughed to himself, but then his face grew a bit more serious. “You’re the American hero, Ash. I wouldn’t have made it out of there if it wasn’t for you. Thank you.”

She wasn’t used to Danny being this serious and for a moment she was caught off guard by his somber tone. Just then they heard the captain come over the speaker, “Buckle up everyone, we’re bringing this bad boy down now.”  
___________

Ali saw the plane touch down on the runway and took a few deep breaths as the plane slowed down and then taxied towards them. She could hear the heavy breathing of Heather next to her as well, as she anxiously awaited her husband’s return.

“Ready for this?” said Heather as she took her eyes away from the plane and glanced over at Ali, squeezing her hand for reassurance.

She nodded in return and took a final deep breath before seeing the cargo hatch of the plane begin to lower. Her heart was racing as a few men that had been standing next to her rushed towards the plane to help. Danny was the first one to come down the stairs and his eyes lit up when he saw his wife sprint towards him, quickly closing the 100 feet that had separated them. His arms opened wide as she jumped into them, his arms wrapping tightly around her small frame. 

Ali could hear them laughing and crying and couldn’t fight the grin that made its way across her face. She could see the joy, the love and the passion they had for each other in full force as tears streamed down both of their beaming faces. Their reunion only captured her attention for a moment though as her gaze quickly whipped back to the hatch of the airplane, noticing movement out of the corner of her eye. Ashlyn.

Their eyes locked for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. The world froze around them. There was no Danny and Heather. There was no conglomerate of army officials. There was no concept of time or space. It was just them. Ashlyn and Ali, locked in a gaze that had been denied for far too long. When Ali finally felt the air rush back into her lungs and her heart begin beating again, she dropped her bag and ran towards Ashlyn.

Ash stood up from her wheelchair with a grimace, just in time to catch Ali who was hurling towards her. The blow almost knocked her backwards and it definitely sent shooting pain down her leg, ribs and shoulder, but it didn’t matter. The pain was nothing now that she was holding her girl again. 

“Baby, I missed you so much,” said Ali as her arms squeezed Ash tightly, showering her face with kisses while she completely forgot about Schuler’s warning. She was home. Her baby had come home.

Ignoring the pain, Ash wrapped her arms just as tightly around Ali, feeling the warmth of her girlfriend’s body wrapped around her. Even though she had been stranded in the hot dessert for months, this was warmth like no other as it crept throughout her entire body, making her feel whole again, making her feel safe again. Ash lifted her up into the air bit, allowing Ali’s legs to wrap around her waist. “I missed you too, Alex,” she said as she buried her face into the crook of Ali’s neck, taking a deep breath to allow Ali’s scent to permeate into her mind again as the tears poured down her cheeks. 

Ali wrapped her arms around Ashlyn tighter, and this time Ash couldn’t fight the pain. She grimaced and Ali immediately jumped off her, apologizing profusely as she rambled on. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Ash. They even warned me not to do that and said you were hurt and need to go to the hospital and I just can’t believe I forgot-“

She was cut off by Ashlyn crashing her lips against hers, her one good arm slipping to Ali’s waist to press their bodies firmly together. “It’s been seven months since I’ve seen you, woman. I’ll be dammed if I let a few broken ribs keep you from me,” she said through the kiss, letting her hand slip to Ali’s ass.

Ali deepened the kiss, allowing her body to melt into Ashlyn’s. She could feel the heat pulsing through her body as Ashlyn’s tongue explored her mouth, her own hands instinctively finding themselves draping around Ashlyn’s neck. She pulled back and looked into Ashlyn’s eyes, for the first time noticing how frail she looked. She was still beautiful, but her glow was gone. Her cheeks were hollowed and pale and there were a few deep gashes that ran through one eyebrow and across her cheekbone, not to mention the bruises. Ali lightly traced them with her finger, really studying her girlfriend’s face, taking in every cut, every bruise and every tiny scar. “I can’t believe they did this to you,” she whispered, fresh tears pooling in her eyes as her imagination filled in the gaps again. “I can’t believe you fought through this,” she added, letting her forehead rest on Ashlyn’s, unable to meet her gaze. She knew she was supposed to be the strong one, but hadn’t expected it to be this overwhelming.

Ashlyn lifted Ali’s chin, forcing her to meet her gaze. “Shhh baby,” she cooed as she gently kissed her lips. “Hey it’s alright. I’m home now. I’m home and that’s all that matters gorgeous. Okay?” She could feel her strength dwindling and the pain shooting through her legs was becoming almost unbearable, but she knew she needed to be strong for Ali. “Okay?” she prodded again when Ali didn’t answer.

“Okay baby,” she whispered, burying her head into Ashlyn’s chest again.

“I’m not going anywhere ever again,” breathed Ash as she cradled Ali in her arms for another moment. “I love you more than you could ever know.”

They were broken from their embrace by someone clearing their throat behind them. Ali lifted her head from Ashlyn’s chest and turned to see a man dressed in uniform standing before them. “I thought they warned you not to get out of that wheelchair, Harris,” said the man with a slight chuckle. “Just got back to the States and you’re already breaking orders? Although I’d break them for her too,” the man added with a nod towards Ali.

Ali blushed and thought she had gotten Ashlyn in trouble so she took a step back, waiting for a response.

“Fuck off,” Ashlyn retorted, laughing herself. “This is Ali,” she said as she pointed to her girlfriend. “And Ali, this is Danny,” she concluded, pointing back to the man standing before her.

Ali and Danny locked eyes for a moment and held it. They both knew they owed each other more than they could express and shared a mutual thankfulness of the other. If it weren’t for Ali, Ashlyn wouldn’t have fought so hard to get back. And if it wasn’t for Danny, well Ash would never have made it off the helicopter and even been given a second chance. Ali went to open her mouth, but before she could, Danny reached out his hand and shook hers.

“Ma’am, I’d just like to tell you what an honor it was serving under Sergeant Harris. She’s a true American hero and you should be proud of her and everything she’s accomplished and endured. The strongest woman I’ve ever known and the only one I would want leading me into battle.” He bowed his head and went to step back towards his wife.

Ali stepped forward and gently grabbed his arm, looking up the meet his green eyed gaze. “And I just wanted to thank you for your service. I know what you did to save Ashlyn and I can never repay you for that. You’re a hero in my eyes, too,” she said with a soft smile as the man looked down at her endearingly. 

“Hey if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be here,” he offered with a shrug. He took a step closer and wrapped Ali up in a tight hug. “You’re all she talked about,” he whispered in her ear. “How amazing you were and how she had to get home to you. You’re the only reason we’re both standing here now, but she’ll take that secret to the grave with her,” he concluded with a smile and nod as Heather came and wrapped herself around him, joining the group.

Ali was shocked by his words. She had never doubted that Ash would fight to get back to her, but to be told that she was the _only_ reason wasn’t something she was expecting. She felt an arm wrap around her waist from behind and turned so that she was face to face with Ashlyn, their bodies melded together. “I love you so much, Ashlyn,” she said as she met her twinkling gaze. She was amazed that after everything, there was still a sparkle in her eyes. Even though she was thin, pale and in rough shape, that twinkle in her eyes was an ever present reminder that it was the same Ashlyn standing before her. Her Ashlyn. “Thank you for fighting and coming home to me,” she said softly, lowering her voice so that the others couldn’t hear as she rested her hand on Ash’s chest, noting how fast her heart was beating. 

A lone tear made its way to the corner of Ali’s eye and Ashlyn very gently wiped it away with her finger, before planting a soft, warm kiss on her lips. “Well thank you for fighting to give me something to come home _to_.”


	57. The Road to Recovery

“Hey there, sunshine,” Ashlyn heard a voice whisper, her eyes slowly opening to see Ali sitting in front of her. “You had us all worried there for a bit.”

“How long was I out?” she questioned with a raspy voice as she propped herself up in bed with her elbows, examining the room around her. “And…how did I get here?”

“You don’t remember anything?” Her voice was riddled with concern.

Ash simply shook her head and rubbed her eyes with her good arm. All she remembered last was holding Ali because honestly that was the only important thing to her.

Ali frowned as she looked down at her dazed girlfriend. “Baby you passed out on the tarmac. They rushed you here, hooked you up to a bunch of IV’s and monitors and you’ve been asleep for the last couple days. It was probably best because I doubt you’ve gotten a good sleep in a long time, but everyone was really worried.”

Glancing around the hospital room, Ashlyn noticed a plethora of flowers scattered about along with a teddy bear and some envelopes. “DAYS? Ugh this sucks,” she groaned, dropping back down to lay flat on the bed, squeezing her eyes shut hoping it was just a bad dream. “Did I really pass out in front of everyone?” She opened her eyes and looked up at Ali with pleading eyes, hoping it wasn’t the case.

“You went through a lot babe. No one thinks any less of you. The stress of coming home and your injuries was just too much to handle.” She gently grabbed Ashlyn’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Ashlyn shook her head, and pointed to Ali. “See that’s where you’re wrong,” she said. “I think finally seeing your fine ass was too much for me to handle,” she cracked with a wide, toothy grin.

Ali couldn’t help the giggle that escaped from her lips as she looked at Ashlyn endearingly, tucking some loose strands of blonde hair behind her ear. Ashlyn’s face still had slight bruising, but they were beginning to fade and the cuts were on their way to healing. Through it all, she still saw her beautiful girl staring back up at her, with light eyes and a smile that Ali would never have thought possible after what she went through. “Well if that’s what happens just seeing me, wait til they let you out of here,” Ali teased with a wink.

“Uhhh you’re such a tease,” she whined, turned her face to bury it in the pillow for a moment. Then she turned back, her face becoming more curious, “When exactly am I supposed to get out of here?”

“Not for a few more days at least, babe. You lost a lot of weight and are extremely dehydrated. Not to mention they want to keep an eye on those cuts to make sure nothing gets infected. Maybe by the weekend,” she added, placing a kiss on Ashlyn’s forehead.

“Psh I can’t stay here that long!” She crossed her good arm over the one still in a sling and made a pouty face.

“If the doctor says you need to stay, we’re staying,” Ali responded with a serious tone. She knew that Ash was going to be a difficult patient and wanted to set her straight from the start.

“We’re staying?” asked Ashlyn, her eyebrow lifting up to show her skepticism.

“Yes. We, meaning you and I, are staying.”

Ashlyn sighed, “Alex, you can’t just stay with me this whole time. What about work? I’ll be okay here on my own.” As much as she wanted Ali to stay, she had already put her through enough the last few months and didn’t want her to suffer anymore.

Ali shook her head back and forth. “I already talked to Parker. He’s okay with me taking some time off to be with you. I’m staying right here,” she placed a trail of light kisses down Ashlyn’s face, finally stopping at her lips, “and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“How did I get so lucky?” asked Ash quietly while looking up adoringly at her extremely loyal girlfriend.

“I would hardly call you lucky after everything,” Ali retorted with a small chuckle.

“But I’m here, back with you. So I guess I’m back to being the luckiest woman in the whole wide world again.”

The toothy grin forced another smile across Ali’s face. “You’re so corny!”

“Hey I have seven months of corny to make up for so you better get used to it!” she smiled and then slid her hand across the bed to where Ali’s was resting. “I love you so much. Thank you for staying here with me.”

Ali brought Ashlyn’s hand up to her lips, noting how rough it was as she placed a kiss on every one of her bruised knuckles. “There’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be,” she said with a smile, lowering both their hands back to the bed. “I should go get the doctor,” she said before going to stand up. “He told me to get him when you woke up.”

“Wait,” Ashlyn replied. She grabbed Ali’s hand, causing her to turn around.

“What is it baby?” she asked, worriedly.

“Can you lay with me for a minute?”

“In there?” she asked, pointing to the small hospital bed, of which Ashlyn was already taking up the majority of.

Ashlyn quickly nodded and scooted over a bit, tapping the open side of the bed. “Please,” she said softly, in a tone that was almost desperate. “I just need to hold you again.”

A smile roamed across Ali’s lips. “Of course, baby.” She scooted carefully in the bed, curling around Ashlyn so that her head was resting gently on her chest and Ashlyn’s arm was wrapped around her back. “Just for a minute though and then I have to get the doctor.”

“Okay beautiful,” Ash added with a yawn. As her droopy eyes began to close she squeezed Ali tighter to her side, ignoring the pain in her ribs as she placed a tender kiss on the top of her head. “Just for a minute.”

Ali groggily peeled her eyes open as she woke up. She turned to see Ashlyn who was looking up at the TV hanging above her bed. “Babe how long have you been up?” she hissed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. So much for their minute of cuddling.

“About an hour or so. We slept for another two before that.” She shrugged, not averting her eyes from the show she was watching.

“Why didn’t you get me up?” she demanded, to which she received another shrug.

“You looked so cute sleeping there and I could tell you needed it. I’m guessing it’s been a while since you got a good night’s sleep and to be honest I just liked having you close to me again,” she said while gently grazing Ali’s arm up and down with her hand.

Ali smiled in return. Even though Ash was the one in the hospital, she was still looking out for her and trying to take care of her. “Well thanks for letting me sleep. Best sleep I’ve gotten in a long time,” she added with a wink, leaning over to place a soft kiss on Ashlyn’s wrinkled nose. “I’m going to grab the doctor now.” As she rolled off the bed, she heard Ashlyn’s stomach rumble and added, “And I’ll see if the nurse can bring in a menu so you can get some real food in you.”

“Ughh hospital food is not real food!” she argued. “It’s almost as bad as Army food! You should sneak something in for me.” Ashlyn flashed a bright smile, trying to proposition her girlfriend to bring her in food from the outside. She wanted something, anything besides hospital or army food.

“Always such a schemer,” Ali replied with a laugh. “We’ll see what the doctor says first and go from there.” She turned to leave and chuckled as she heard Ashlyn teasingly yell after her, “I’ll just get someone else to bring me food it you won’t!”

A few minutes later Ali returned with the doctor in tow. “My name is Doctor Reynolds. Glad to finally see you awake, Ashlyn” the doctor said as he read over her chart. Without lifting his eyes he added, “How are you feeling right now?”

“I’m feeling great Doc,” she said enthusiastically. “Any chance I can get out of here tonight?”

Dr. Reynolds lowered his clipboard to meet Ashlyn’s eyes with a serious stare, unsure if she was joking or not. When he saw Ashlyn’s wide grin, he softened a bit, knowing it was a half-hearted attempt to be released. “Miss Harris, you are still severely underweight and dehydrated from your ordeal. We need to keep you here under observation for a bit until we can get you back to normal. Back to where you’re not passing out after standing for a few minutes or sleeping for days at a time,” he said with a raised eyebrow, letting the last sentence make drive his point home.

“I see. Well I hate to break it to you Doc, but both of those we’re this one’s fault,” she said, trying to discreetly point at Ali who was leaning up against the wall giving the Dr. his space.

“And how is that?” He was confused.

“Well the only reason I passed out is because I saw her again for the first time in seven months and…well… look how hot she is! Can you blame me?”

Ali turned a bright shade of red as the blush crept up her cheeks. “Ashlyn!” she hissed with an embarrassed tone.

“And the reason I slept so long, is because she was there the whole time by my side, holding my hand.” Her tone became a bit less playful as she met Ali’s glare. “And to be honest it’s the safest I’ve felt since before I can remember. That’s the only reason I was able to sleep.” Now she was joking again. “So how about you and I make a deal, doc? You let me go home and I promise you I will stay far away from her and then I shouldn’t have any more problems. Deal?” She finished with a shrug as both the doctor and Ali broke out into a laugh at her attempt at logic.

“Nice try, Ashlyn,” said Dr. Reynolds with a chuckle as the blush slowly began to fade from Ali’s cheeks. “Besides, I think you’ll want her around to take care of you, especially after you start physical therapy. You’ve got a long road to recovery, but it’s good to see that you’re in high spirits. Not many people are this outgoing after going through something like that.”

“I’m just grateful to be home,” replied Ashlyn, as she bit her bottom lip, not quite ready to steer into the conversation.

“Well we’re glad to have you back too, Sergeant.” He turned her smile and then jotted a few notes down on his clipboard. After checking her vitals and asking a few more questions, he tucked the clipboard under his arm. “Well you’re looking good so far. I still a bit worried that those ribs aren’t healing, but hopefully once we get some better nutrition in you the process will speed up a bit. If you-”

“Speaking of nutrition, doc,” Ash cut him off, “How would you feel about this lovely woman over here brining me a Whopper and maybe some French fries?”

The doctor shook his head at the question. It wasn’t the first time he had been asked it and he knew it certainly wasn’t going to be the last. “We need you to stick to the food here for a couple of days, but if everything keeps going well, we can talk about getting you that Whopper.”

“Aw come on,” Ashlyn pouted, arms crossed as she laid back against her pillow with a disgruntled face.

The doctor laughed as Ali shook her head. “She’s going to be a tough patient isn’t she?” he said in Ali’s direction, feigning a whisper, but still talking loud enough for Ashlyn to hear his joke.

She nodded, “You don’t even know the half of it,” she said with an eye roll. “Better keep your eyes on this one.”


	58. The Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiling you guys again with 2 chapters in one night. Enjoy ;)

“Hey baby!” Ali’s voice was perky as she watched Ashlyn hobble back into the room in her walking boot.

“Hey,” she murmured in return as she plopped onto the bed, face first.

“PT was that rough, huh?” joked Ali as she gently tapped Ashlyn’s butt which was sticking up in the air.

“It was awful. They made me do all these stupid tests. I almost punched the doctor with my good arm.”

Ali could barely make out the words as her girlfriends face was still pressed into the pillow, but she could tell she wasn’t in a great mood after starting PT. “Well I brought you a bit of a reward,” she said quietly in an attempt to catch Ashlyn’s attention.

Ash immediately whipped around and stared at Ali. “Tell me you got me a Whopper!”

“Oh, no,” said Ali apologetically, realizing she had gotten Ashlyn’s hopes up.

“Oh. Okay well then what is it?” Ashlyn still tried to sound excited, but just wasn’t in a good mood.

“I went out while you were at PT to get a few things. I brought you some of your clothes so you don’t have to wear the hospital stuff anymore. Ali tossed the duffel bag she was holding onto the bed and unzipped it. “Anddd I even brought you this,” she said, revealing her Notre Dame hoodie which Ash eagerly ripped from her hands.

She tore off her shirt with no regard for who was around and tried to quickly snuggle into it. She struggled with only having one arm and after a few minutes and Ali’s assistance she got it on and wrapped herself in a tight hug, instantly feeling better as she was surrounded by comforting cotton and Ali’s scent. “Thanks baby! This is great. So you stopped by my house? Is it still in one piece?” she asked with a laugh while she dug through the rest of the bag to see what else Ali had grabbed.

“Um, Ash, there’s something I need to tell you,” she replied, quietly. Too quietly for Ashlyn’s liking.

“What babe?” her eyes tore up from the bag to meet Ali’s disconcerting gaze.

“Baby, your family sold your house when they thought you were…when they thought you were gone.”

“My….my house?” Ashlyn’s head dipped, as she began fiddling with the zipper on the bag. She thought back to all of the great memories she had there with her friends, family and Ali. She had lived there ever since moving to Los Angeles and it had become her safe haven no matter what. It finally hit her in an overwhelming wave that although she hadn’t lost Ali, there was going to be a lot that she had lost after coming back from the dead. “Well, what about all my stuff?”

Ali scooted her way onto Ashlyn’s bed and took her hand. “Your parents took some stuff and let me keep a bunch as well. I have a lot of your clothes and stuff. I could never bring myself to throw them out. I probably would’ve kept them forever.”

Ash tried to make light of the situation in a half-hearted attempt to cheer herself up. “Well it’s a good thing you kept my clothes because it would take yearsss to re-make that fabulous wardrobe.”

Ali shook her head, squeezing Ashlyn’s hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t think to tell you earlier, baby.”

“It’s okay.” Ashlyn said as she pulled her in closer, letting her head fall on Ali’s shoulder. “I can’t imagine what you went through beautiful. I’m sorry I put you through all of that. I’m sure we’ll figure this all out.” She was just beginning to realize how difficult and stressful things were going to be once she got released from the hospital. She would have to revoke her death certificate, work with her parents to get her bank accounts back, find a new place to live, buy a new car, the list went on and on. Now she wasn’t quite sure she ever wanted to leave.

“We will baby. I’ll be right here with you through everything. I promise.”

“Okay,” said Ashlyn as she wrapped her arm tighter around Ali’s waist. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Well you’ll never have to find out. And guess what? I do have some good news for you,” said Ali. She ghosted her fingers over Ashlyn’s arm while waiting for a response.

“What’s that?” Ash asked while pressing a kiss on Ali’s cheek.

“I kept your baby.”

“My baby?” She looked puzzled for a moment until she processed the statement. “You kept my Jeep? My baby!” Her face contorted with the sheer excitement.

“Yes, ma’am,” Ali grinned.

“Woooooo!” Her joyful scream filled the room. “I can’t wait to take that sucker for a ride. I’m going to pick up so many chicks,” she teased.

“Oh is that so?” Ali raised her eyebrow and looked over at her gleeful girl.

“Well is that going to be a problem?” Ashlyn grinned widely back at her.

“Nope. No problem at all,” Ali retorted as she hopped off the bed and walked over to the door. She pulled a paper bag out from behind her purse and grabbed the contents out of it. “As long as it’s not a problem that I eat this delicious, juicy Whopper right in front of you?” She winked, but before she could even unwrap it, Ashlyn grabbed it out of her hand, barely taking time to tear the wrapper off before taking half the burger in a giant bite.

“Oh my goddddd. That’s so good,” she moaned, her mouth full of cheeseburger with a look of pure bliss on her face. “Mmmm. Fuck yes!”

Ali turned bright red as a nurse passed by the room. She smacked Ash gently in the arm, “If you could not sound like you’re having sex with that cheeseburger that would be great!” she teased as the same nurse made a second pass and peeked more attentively into the room.

“Well I have to take it where I can get it from,” she joked. “I can’t get any from my woman so I guess eating a cheeseburger is my next best option.” She finished the burger and seductively licked her fingers clean, looking up at Ali the whole time.

“How pathetic is it that even though you were sucking ketchup off your fingers, I was still turned on?” she asked, before bending over and gathering Ashlyn’s lips in a kiss.

“Babe I can’t even look at you without getting turned on. When the hell are they going to let me out of this place? I just want you to take me home with you so I never have to spend a night without you again.”

“Not soon enough.” Ali pouted along with her, wanting nothing more than to take her beautiful girlfriend home. She realized that Ashlyn just absentmindedly told her she wanted them to move in together, but decided to let the topic pass. She had figured as much, but needed to work some things out first.

“Well I’m all sweaty from PT,” Ashlyn said, breaking the silence that occurred while Ali was caught up on her prior statement. “I’m going to go take a shower, okay?”

Ali nodded and moved her legs so Ashlyn could scoot off the bed.

“Thanks for the clothes and the burger baby,” she said, giving Ali a quick peck on the lips before she grabbed her sandals and towel and hobbled towards the bathroom.

A few minutes later the sound of water running and Ashlyn singing and a small smile fell over her face as she leaned back in the bed, allowing her eyes to close. That conversation had definitely gone better than she thought it would. Now all that was left was to make some phone calls and take that next step.


	59. The Misunderstanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry but it's about to get a bit angsty.. some of you asked for it ;)

“CHRIS!” squealed Ashlyn as her brother knocked and poked his head into the room. He had just flown in from Florida to check on her.

“Hey baby sis!” he said with a wide grin, before gingerly wrapping his arms around Ashlyn, unsure of whether he would hurt her or not. When he felt Ashlyn’s strength crushing around him, he tightened his grip and held her tightly for a moment. Pulling back he took her face in his hands, examining the healing wounds. “How are you feeling? I’m sorry I couldn’t get here any earlier. Work has been crazy or I would have been here the day you got back.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ash said as she shrugged Chris’s hands off her face. She hated being babied and was sick of everyone being so worried about her. After being captured for six months, she didn’t want to dwell on the past, she wanted to make up for lost time. “I’m just glad you’re here now.” After looking around behind Chris, she glanced back up confused. “Where is Ali? And I thought she was bringing Kyle too?”

“Oh she dropped me off. Said she had some things to take care of at the house and a few things at work or something like that. She’ll be back in a few hours so we have plenty of time to catch up. How have you been?”

__________

“Should I just leave my keys on the counter when I’m finished moving my stuff out?”

Jordan glanced up at Ali who was sitting across the counter from her quickly devouring a sandwich, Bandit sitting at her feet desperately hoping for scraps to fall. They had met up at the house to catch up, talk about their living situation and share a quick bite to eat. It had been a while since they had seen each other since she had been at the hospital and hadn’t been coming home at night and was off of work for the past week as well.

“Um, yeah sure. Thanks again for understanding and working with me,” she replied, leaning forward in the chair, resting her elbows on the counter. “I still can’t believe this all happened.”

“I know. It’s crazy. Well, thanks for everything, but I’ve got to get back to work! I’ll see you later!”

___________

“Damn, Ash,” Chris responded through clenched teeth, his hands covering the better portion of his face as he struggled to hold back tears. “Have you told Ali all of that?” he asked, taking a deep breath to calm himself. After hearing everything Ashlyn had been through, he was about ready to sign up for the Army just to go exact some revenge for his baby sister.

“No,” she sighed. “And I don’t think I ever can. She doesn’t need to hear those things. Ya know?” She tried to brush it off, but Chris wasn’t buying it.

“She’s stronger than you give her credit for, Ashlyn. She was the one that kept us all together at…at your funeral. She was the one that cleaned your house out with me because Mom and Dad couldn’t bear to step foot in it. You should tell her.”

Ash just shrugged and looked back up at the TV. “Maybe. We’ll see. She’s been good and things have been great between us. I’m not trying to dredge up the past, just trying to move forward.”

Chris didn’t respond, just waited for Ash to look back at him. When she finally did, he spoke softly, “Sometimes you can’t move forward until you address the demons in your past, Ashlyn. I know that better than anyone. Just give it some thought, okay?”

“Of course,” she lied, just wanting the conversation to go away.

Chris knew she was lying, but decided to drop the subject. No use in getting her upset when she was a grown woman who was going to make her own decisions anyways. Besides, he wanted to enjoy this time with his sister since he only had a few days. “So what do you say I bust you out of this place and we go get some real food?” he asked, noting the plate full of breakfast foods that hadn’t been touched.

Ashlyn’s eyes went wide, “You can do that?”

“I mean you’re not a prisoner,” he replied, laughing heartily at her response. “But maybe we won’t tell the doctors. It’ll be real quick and then we’ll come right back. Besides I bet fresh air will do you some good.”

Ashlyn glanced at the clock on the wall. “Okay I’ve got a couple hours before PT and besides that…well I just sit around and watch TV so I have nothing besides that. I’m down! As long as we do one thing first…”

“What’s that?” said Chris with a bemused grin.

“I’ll tell you on the way!” she said, and lightly punched her brother in the arm before slowly hobbling out of the room, still in a walking boot. “Last one to the car is a rotten egg!”

____________

“How are things with you, Ali?” questioned Parker as he looked across his desk at Ali who was just finishing up signing some forms.

She finished signing the last form before sighing and sitting back in her chair. “It’s been stressful, but Ash seems surprisingly…good. Besides the injuries which thank god weren’t too terrible and nothing permanent, she seems like her old self for the most part. Her brother flew in today so she’s with him now.”

“That’s good. I’m glad to hear. And hey, seriously don’t worry about rushing back to work. We have more than enough people to pick up your cases so take your time.”

“Thanks, Parker, but I’m going to try to come back as soon as possible. I missed a lot of time already this year and let’s be honest, when I was here I wasn’t doing too great anyways.” She folded her arms and set them on her crossed legs.

Parker knew it was true, that she hadn’t been herself, but he also couldn’t imagine what she had gone through. “Just take your time. Ashlyn deserves all your attention right now. Everyone here knows that.”

Ali nodded, grateful for his understanding. “Thanks. And I just want you to know that I really appreciate all of this. I’ve got a few things to do before heading back to the hospital so I’m going to go now, but I’ll keep in touch. Let me know if you need anything!”

Parker stood up and gave her a tight reaffirming hug before releasing her. “Of course, Ali. It’s no problem at all.”

She smiled and turned to walk out of the room as he called out, “Tell Ash, I hope to see her soon!”

____________

“Do you have a key?” asked Chris as they pulled up.

“I know where she’s keeps the spare. I’ll be back in a few!” said Ash, before gingerly hopping out of the car and making her way towards the lobby.

She waited for the elevator, avoiding eye contact with anyone, before making her way up to Ali’s floor. She wanted to surprise her and take her on a ‘date’ that night at the hospital, but needed something nice to wear. Reaching under the mat she pulled out the key and inserted it into the lock turning it and then opened the door. The sound of frantic paws filled the hallway as Bandit jumped at her, tackling her to the ground. Ashlyn hadn’t seen him since he was a puppy and now he was almost fully grown as he pinned her down and showered her face with kisses. She wrapped her arms tightly around him, squeezing his wiggling furry body close against her. Her mind flashed back to when she had gotten Bandit for Ali and after seeing how loving he was, she was glad that she had gotten him to take care of her while she had been gone.

_______________

“That’s it?” she asked with a hint of skepticism.

“That’s it Miss Krieger. Congratulations.” The man extended his hand and shook it. “It was a pleasure doing business with you,” he added with a smile. “If you need anything else, please do not hesitate to contact me.”

She glanced over it again for a moment, as a grin spread across her face. “Great, thanks! She’s going to absolutely love it!”

Ali walked back to her car, unable to contain the smile that was permanently painted on her face. Ashlyn was going to love it and Ali couldn’t be more thrilled to see the look of shock on her face. She peeled out of the parking lot and whipped into the street, unable to contain her urgency to get back to the hospital and surprise Ashlyn.

_______________

A voice broke through the silence, tearing her from her thoughts and tearing Bandit from her chest.

“Bandit, come! Sit.”

Bandit’s ears perked up and immediately trotted over to the woman, sitting right by her side as commanded.

Ashlyn stood up, adjusting her now wrinkled shirt before wiping the dog slobber off of her face. “Uh, hi...” she said, confused who the woman standing in her girlfriend’s apartment was.

“Can I help you?” the girl questioned, equally confused, but still polite.

“Um, I was here to grab some stuff. Is this Ali Kriegers’s place?” She thought it was weird that Ali wouldn’t have mentioned moving to her, but shrugged it off. They hadn’t talked much about logistics.

“Yes it is,” she responded.

Now Ashlyn was thoroughly confused and her face showed it. “Oh. Um…you…you live here with Ali?”

“Yes I live here,” the woman replied, clearly getting annoyed by the questions. She could tell the girl before her looked vaguely familiar from somewhere, but couldn’t place it. Maybe one of Ali’s old friends? “I can tell her you came by if you’d like?”

“Um,” Ashlyn scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. Had Ali gotten a roommate when she was gone? And why was Bandit listening to her so well? “No thanks. I’ll just give her a call later. Thanks…” she let her voice trail off and waited for the woman to fill in her name.

“Jordan,” she replied with a sweet smile. “I’m Jordan.”

If it was possible, Ashlyn turned several shades paler than she had already been upon realizing who exactly it was standing in her girlfriend’s apartment. Jordan, the sweet, smart and sexy coworker that had already tried to hit on her girlfriend. Jordan and Ali were living together now? She turned, feeling her heart stuck in her throat and the air sucked out of her lungs, and left without saying another word as the woman behind her called out for her to wait. 

Was this some sort of sick joke? Had Ali been playing her all along? Playing house with Jordan this whole time and now that she was back, what? What was going to happen now that she was back? She got into the car empty handed and slammed the door shut without looking at Chris.  
“Whoa what happened, Ash?” Chris asked, sensing the anger with which she slammed the door with.

“Nothing. Just drive,” she huffed.

“Ashlyn…”

“Dammit Chris, just drive!”


	60. The Truth Comes Out?

“Hey babe!” said Ali as she saw Ash walking across the room after just having returned from PT. Unfortunately for her, Chris didn’t have any time to warn her of Ashlyn’s mood change and she was about to receive the brunt of it.

“Hi,” was all she said, her face stoic and showing little emotion.

“Aw did you have a rough time at PT today?” she teased, trying to lighten up Ashlyn’s mood, still unaware that there was a different underlying issue.

“Sure, we’ll go with that.”

“Babe what’s wrong?” Ali asked, finally sensing something else was off. She took a step towards Ashlyn and went to grab her hand, but Ash ripped it away.

Ali stared back at her, confused and waiting for some sort of explanation.

“Ummm, I’m going to let you two talk,” said Chris as he quickly squeaked out of the room, sensing that everything was about to blow up.

Ashlyn’s eyes followed Chris out of the room, but she still didn’t say anything and still didn’t make eye contact with Ali. She sat down on the bed and looked absently up at the TV, unsure how to approach the conversation without screaming things she would surely regret. Deciding to wait it out and let Ali figure it out on her own, she kept her eyes glued to the TV even after Ali sat down next to her.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“You tell me,” Ashlyn shot back.

Ali was so confused and couldn’t tell where the hostility was coming from. “Did something happen while I was gone?” Her eyes were desperately searching for Ashlyn’s, but she was expertly avoiding Ali’s stare.

“I don’t know,” finally turning to meet Ali’s stare with dark, cold eyes. “Did something happen while _I_ was gone?”

Still oblivious to what she was referring to, Ali shrugged off her remark and tried another approach. “Well I have a surprise for you…” her voice trailed off, hoping Ashlyn would take the bait.

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?” Ashlyn feigned interest as she glanced back up to the TV.

“I…I bought us a place together. It’s outside of the city, right on the beach and you’re going to absolutely love it!” A smile washed over her face as she waited for a similar reaction from Ashlyn. It didn’t quite work out that way.

Ash doubled over laughing as she clutched her side. “Are you serious?” she asked when she was finally able to contain herself.

“Um…yes…” Now Ali was just plain confused.

“That’s great! That’s freaking great!” she slapped her knee in jest.

“Uh…I’m glad you think so?” Her tone conveyed the annoyance that her face was trying to conceal. She had just spent a lot of money and effort on this surprise, but for some reason it wasn’t working how she planned.

“I think it’s great, Alex. Too funny. It’s a really smart move,” she was smiling but it was not a cheery one.

The sarcasm that Ashlyn was spewing with her words had really started to irritate Ali. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” she asked, her voice for the first time becoming harsher than intended.

“I think it’s smart that you would buy a house for us to live in. That way you can keep your condo a secret and have your mistress live there or whatever your plan is. Pretty smart thinking! I guess I really threw a wrench in your plans when I came back from the dead.” She stood up from the bed and stormed out of the room as quickly as she could, leaving Ali looking bewildered sitting on the edge of the bed, her jaw dropped wide open and eyes wide.

A minute later that’s how Chris found her, still shocked. “Um I just saw Ashlyn storming down the hall. She seems pretty upset. Care to fill me in?”

Ali looked up at him, just as confused herself. “Can you fill me in? We were fine this morning and then I came back and she just blew up at me. I surprised her and told her I bought us a house on the beach to move into and she just laughed and accused me of trying to hide a mistress in my condo? Like…what? What happened while I was gone, Chris?” She had no idea where Ashlyn would have gotten this from and her heart was aching. The last thing Ashlyn needed was to get really worked up about something.

He shrugged, thinking back to the seemingly uneventful day they had together. They had talked for a bit, then gone for a bite to eat, then to Ali’s condo, then PT. Suddenly it hit him. “I don’t know exactly what happened, but she seemed mad when we came back from our little adventure.”

“You’re little adventure?” she said, annunciating every syllable and throwing air quotes around the adventure part.

“Yeah. Don’t tell the doctors, but I snuck her out for some real food. She’s never going to gain weight back eating the crap they feed her here.”

“So you just went out to eat and come back?” It still didn’t make sense.

“Ummm…yeah. Well, no. Actually, we swung by your condo quick since she wanted to get something to surprise you, but I don’t think she could find it because she came back empty handed and pretty pissed off.” Chris didn’t think it was a big deal so he stated everything matter of factly.

“My condo?” she asked, perplexed at his comment.

“Yeah. We swung by around 12:30 or so.”

“Shit.” Ali’s mind immediately flashed back to the kitchen where her and Jordan were having lunch. They had finished up eating about noon and Ali had left at 12:15 while Jordan had a few things to do before heading back to work so she stayed behind, by herself. “Shit. Shit. Shit.” It was suddenly all very clear.

She dropped everything on her lap and ran down the hall to look for Ashlyn, ignoring Chris’s calls for an explanation behind her. She needed to get to Ashlyn before she let her mind run too crazy with thoughts. After a few minutes of searching and begging passing nurses to keep their eyes open for a hot, brooding blonde, she finally found Ashlyn. She was curled up in a picture window seat, her back leaning against the window frame, knees tucked tightly to her chest.

“Ashlyn…” Ali said quietly as she approached. “Baby?”

“Save it, Alex.”

Ali tried to jump into an explanation, but Ash cut her off without giving her a chance. “I can’t believe I was stupid enough to think that I would get back and you’d still be mine. I loved you with everything I had. I fought for you, to come home to you and then I get back and this happens? And to make it even better, you have the nerve to try to screw me over some more and buy me a shiny house on the beach so you can keep screwing your secretary behind my back! I’m so stupid,” she huffed to herself, looking out the window at the city beyond her. “I guess I just expected too much. I shouldn’t have expected you to wait for me.” Although Ashlyn’s words were angry, Ali could also tell they were heartfelt and honest. She was baring her heart and the secret fears she had housed deep down. It was finally all coming out. “You thought I was dead so no big. You moved on. I get it. You can just leave now.”

Ali went to speak, but Ashlyn changed her mind raising her hand to silence her, cutting her off again.

“Actually, no. I need to know something before you go. How long? How long did you wait until you started screwing Jordan?” Now her words were definitely coming just from a place of anger and they stung Ali. “I mean I was only gone for what, like six months? What’s the expiration date on mourning for a dead girlfriend these days? Huh? And I mean she already moved in and seemed pretty chummy with my dog so I’m guessing it’s been a while. Am I right? Or were you just doing it the whole time I was here too, behind my back? Huh! How long?!” The words were cold, but backed with heated emotion.

Her voice was echoing through the hall and cutting deep to Ali’s core. Her heart was racing and she was beginning to fume. Did Ash really think that little of her? Ali had gone there to apologize at set things straight, but was put off by Ashlyn’s attack. She had never seen her like this, so angry and disconnected. She wouldn’t even make eye contact. Whether or not the Jordan thing had been true, is this really how Ash thought Ali would be? Did she honestly think that she had been sleeping with Jordan the whole time? Is that the type of girl she thought she was? She had been faithful and mourned for months and months at the loss of her girlfriend and here Ash was disrespecting her whole grieving process. She clenched her teeth, knuckles white, waiting for Ashlyn to finish so she could unleash her own tirade.

“What? Can’t talk because you’re shocked you got caught? That’s what I figured.” She waved Ali off and turned back to look out the window, ignoring hurt look and the tears that were cascading down Ali’s face.

“How dare you,” Ali hissed, ripping Ashlyn’s attention from the window. “How dare you sit there and say those things. You have no idea what I went through. NO IDEA!” Her voice was raising louder than she would have liked for a hospital corridor, but she couldn’t contain the hurt inside anymore. The words that she had vowed to keep locked inside, deep down, came spewing out of her laced with passion, fury and a venomous rage. “I thought I was going to die when they told me about the crash. I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t talk to anymore. I didn’t do anything for weeks. I didn’t feel anything for weeks. You were my everything, my heart and soul and losing you was the worst thing I have ever felt in my entire life. And for you to sit there and accuse me of being unfaithful and not ‘mourning’ enough for you is so god damn disrespectful!”

“You’re not even denying it!” screamed Ash, standing up from the window seat and walking towards Ali, her eyes red, fists clenched with anger. “You didn’t even deny it!”

“I SHOULDN”T HAVE TO!” she yelled hotly, drawing a few warning glances from the nurses passing by. She had never seen Ash like this before and it was starting to scare her. She seemed so incensed, yet detached at the same time. This was not _her_ Ashlyn, this was someone else completely. Ali dropped her voice a bit lower, but her tone said all she needed it to. “Damn it, Ashlyn I shouldn’t have to. You should know me and if that’s really what you think of me then I guess you never really knew me like I thought you did.” She was hurting and what started out as her apologizing had turned into so much more. Everything was out on the table and apparently Ashlyn had no reservations about what she was saying. How had it gotten like this? How had they gotten like this?

Ash looked exasperated, still not believing the story. “Then how do you explain Jordan living in your apartment? Huh?”

“She got kicked out by her landlord and I let her move in until she found another place. And today I sold her the condo and bought you and I a house on the coast. Right on the beach...”

Ali met Ashlyn’s eyes, but Ashlyn quickly diverted them. She was embarrassed, but not ready to admit she had been wrong about it all. Something about the whole thing still didn’t sit well with her. “Oh right and I’m guessing you’re going to tell me that nothing ever happened between you two? That she never tried to make another move on you?” 

Ali was ready for the conversation to be over. Her heart was racing yet at the same tight she felt like she was going to collapse into a fit of tears. Who was this person staring back at her? It wasn’t Ashlyn. “I can’t believe you would really think that of me, Ash. I can’t even explain how much that hurts. I love you with every part of my being. I have always been faithful and honest with you from day one. I’ve chosen you over and over again and yeah she did try a move on me a couple weeks ago, but guess what? Even though I thought you were dead, I still chose you.” With that, Ali turned and strode away, this time leaving Ashlyn standing there dumbfounded, grasping for the right words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the angst, but it was a fight they need to have! I promise!


	61. The Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How about that win today!? It put me in a good mood so I was able to hash out this chapter which I think is the longest I've written and is actually one of my favorites in the entire story so far. Let me know what you think ;)

“Alex, what happened? Where are you going?” asked a dumbfounded Kyle, who was walking down the hallway with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He saw Ali storm away, tears streaming down her face, making a beeline for the stairs without answering him and then a few moments later a sulking Ashlyn coming around the same corner.

Ash wandered into her room and took a seat on the bed, refusing to look at Chris or Kyle who had just entered the room himself.

“Hey there, stud,” he offered, lightheartedly. He knew something was off between them by the sour look sprawled across Ashlyn’s face, but didn’t want to push it too much.

“Thanks for coming, Kyle.” Ashlyn’s reply was polite, but void of any excitement enthusiasm and she took the flowers he handed her with a soft smile. “These are beautiful,” she added, taking in the scent of the lilies that he had brought her.

“Soooo…” said Kyle, trying to awkwardly break through the silence that fell over the room. “What have you two been up to?”

When Ash didn’t answer, Kyle turned to Chris.

“We’ve just been hanging around here,” he said with a shrug. It wasn’t his place to fill Kyle in on everything.

“Hmmm, okay. Well…anyone feel like telling me why my baby sister just left sobbing and why you look like someone just punched you in the gut?” He was tired of beating around the bushes on this one.

“We had a fight.” That was all Ashlyn offered as she looked down at her feet.

“Well that much was apparent. Care to fill us in?” he asked, assuming that Chris didn’t know the whole story either.

Ash took a deep breath, letting the air fill her lungs and permeate through the fog that had clouded in her head. She sighed before looking up at Kyle. “Chris snuck me out for lunch-”

“YOU SNUCK OUT?” Kyle cut her off, taken by surprise.

“That’s not the point Kyle…”

“Oh right,” he said as he took a seat in the chair next to the bed, making himself comfortable. “Sorry go on.”

“Well I wanted to do something nice for Ali so I swung by the condo to grab a nice outfit. I wanted to take her out on a date to the café downstairs later.”

“You two are so corny it sickens me.”

“KYLE!” Ash shot him a glare, her voice rising higher than she intended as Kyle shrank back away from her a bit.

“Sorry, my bad. I won’t interrupt again,” he said, making a motion to pretend he was zipping his lips.

Ashlyn waited a minute and took another deep breath before she continued. She felt awkward spilling everything in front of Kyle and her brother, but there was no way she would be able to get out of it. “So when I got there I opened the door and got bombarded by Bandit and then…” A small tear formed in the corner of her eye and she quickly wiped it away. “There was some other girl there. A really hot girl. The same hot girl that works with Ali and that tried to kiss her once before I even left.” A look of shock had come over Kyle’s face which made Ashlyn shudder and become more resolute. Ali hadn’t told Kyle any of this and Ali always told him everything. If she hadn’t told Kyle, then she really was hiding something. She forced herself to go on. “I was confused and thought maybe Ali moved or something and so I asked but the girl said Ali lived there. And then I asked if she lived there and she told me she did,” she blurted out quickly. Her temper was beginning to boil again as she thought back to how embarrassed she was standing in front of her girlfriends apartment looking clueless as her dog sat protectively at Jordan’s feet.

“Oh,” was all Chris said for a moment as they thought about it all. “Well what did Ali say about it all?”

“She told me that she bought us a house on the beach and denied that anything happened between her and Jordan, but c’mon! The girl is absolutely drop dead gorgeous and she already tried to put the moves on her once. There’s no way she didn’t try stuff when I was gone! I mean she’s living there for god sakes! My dog listens to her better than me!” Her voice was rising along with her blood pressure as she hashed everything out again. “She buys me a house so she can keep her girlfriend in the city and not have me ruin everything by coming home. What the hell happened while I was gone? You two were supposed to look out for her!”

“Ashlyn,” Kyle began softly, walking over to sit on the bed next to her. “You need to calm down.” He could see her white knuckles release from their balled up fist a bit and hoped this his words would calm her the rest of the way. “Listen, Ali hasn’t told me anything so I can’t tell you exactly what has or hasn’t happened, but there are a few things I do know. You didn’t see Ali after your funeral, and it’s probably for the best. The girl died inside and hadn’t even truly smiled until you came back this week. She wore your dog tags every day, never took them off. She took months off from work and shut herself off to the world. You know our Alex. You and I may be the only two people who really know her. Do you really think she is capable of causing that kind of hurt, especially to you?”

“I don’t know, Kyle,” she shrugged before holding her face in her hands. “Why wouldn’t she tell me if it was nothing? There’s no reason to hide it if it’s just nothing.” She was still mad, but couldn’t deny the truth of Kyle’s statements. Her Ali would never do this. “I just…I don’t know anything anymore.” She began shaking as the tears came and soon was sandwiched between Chris and Kyle who were both holding her tight. “I love her more than anything, but I’ve missed so much. So much has happened. What if we can never get back from that? Yeah, I’m home, but what if I never truly come back?”

Kyle and Chris looked quizzically at each other. Although Ashlyn’s questions were rhetorical, they knew her doubts and fears were eating away at her insides, desperately clawing to get out.

“Ash, she loves you more than anything,” said Chris, finally speaking up as he rubbed Ashlyn’s back. “She probably never mentioned Jordan because to her it didn’t matter. That’s how small of a detail it was. All she cared about was you being back. The rest didn’t matter, ya know? That girl would do absolutely anything for you and you’re damn lucky to have that little sis. Don’t let all your fears and insecurities right now ruin that.”

Ashlyn knew that he was right, they were both right. She was letting her deep seated fears come to light and her overactive mind had jumped to conclusion. Deep down she knew Ali was incapable of treating her like that. While she still wasn’t convinced that absolutely nothing happened between Jordan and herself, she knew there was no way that Ali bought them a house just so she could keep a place for Jordan too. Her imagination was running wild and she knew the one thing that she needed to do was also the hardest, apologizing. “I know guys. I just…I said some awful things to her. I’ve never been that...” her head dipped back to the floor again, unable to look them in the eyes, “that angry around her before.” The fact that she had snapped on Ali like that with no warning or restraint scared her a bit. They had fought before, but this was the first time Ash had no filter and spewed all of the bottled up fear and hatred on her without any control. The guilt was tearing at her.

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Kyle shrugged. He knew Ashlyn and Ali would fight, but it was never bad and they usually made up right away.

“Kyle, I asked her what the expiration date is for mourning a dead girlfriend since she hopped into bed so quick with Jordan, accused her of keeping a secret mistress and then took it so far as to accuse her of cheating on me while I was still here. Along with some other things I don’t exactly want to repeat.”

His face dropped a bit, not knowing that Ash had that type of anger inside of her. He had always seen the fun, goofy side of her, not this tormented, dark, temperamental side. “Oh,” was all he said as he looked down to the floor.

“How do I fix this?” she groaned, desperately searching for some guidance and words of wisdom from her two brothers. None would come.

“Get off your ass. Go find her. Apologize,” said Chris a bit brashly as he laid it out step by step for her. He knew his sister was stubborn and sometimes needed tough love, especially when she was the one at fault.

Kyle tried to stifle a laugh at Chris’s simplistic order. He caught a gentle elbow in the stomach and met Ashlyn’s annoyed gaze with a wide grin of his own. “Go get your girl back, stud,” he said, lightly pushing her out of the bed and onto her feet.

Ashlyn heeded their advice and began scouring the halls for Ali. She wasn’t anywhere to be found inside so she figured Ali went outside for some fresh air. Her suspicions were right and she found Ali staring pensively into the fountain in front of the hospital, arms crossed over her chest, shoulders slumped. Going for the smooth route, Ashlyn crept up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist, letting her head rest on Ali’s shoulder as she held her tightly.

“You’re not getting off that easy,” was Ali’s only response in a tone that quickly disheartened Ashlyn. She turned around so that they were face to face and stared contemplatively up at Ashlyn. Their eyes met, Ali’s filled with hurt and Ashlyn’s riddled with confusion and guilt.

“I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it,” she said softly, still looking deeply into Ali’s eyes, hoping that she would be able to see through to Ashlyn’s true intentions. “You didn’t deserve any of that.”

“Then why did you say it?” Ali asked coldly, still not ready to give in.

“I dunno...I was…I was hurt and confused and angry, Alex. Why wouldn’t you mention that to me? It just didn’t make sense to me. And then the house thing on top of that…I just. I thought my girlfriend having a mistress was just another thing being dumped on me on top of all...all this other shit I’ve been through. I don’t know why I didn’t listen to you, but my mind just took off to this whole other place and I couldn’t stop it. It’s like I couldn’t control it once the little bit of doubt crept in. It took over everything and then this anger got a hold of me and I lost it. My mind has been driving me crazy for six months trying to think about what you were doing, who you were with, if you were being taken care of. I just…” she was rambling and on the verge of no longer making sense, “I’m sorry, Alex. I really am.” Her shoulders slumped like her eyes which also dropped to her ground. She felt like it wasn’t enough, that she would never truly be able to explain it.

Ali wiped the few straggling tears that were running down Ashlyn’s face, and tucked some loose strands of hair behind her ear. She could tell that Ashlyn was being honest and even though she was home, she was still lost. As much as she wanted to yell and tell her how hurt she was and how angry Ashlyn’s words had made her, that’s not what Ash needed. After the violence and frustration she had gone through in captivity, she needed support and love. Ali swallowed her pride and gently lifted Ashlyn’s chin so that their eyes met again, hoping that she could get through to her. “Ashlyn, a lot happened while you were gone. A lot. And you’re never going to know everything. There’s no way to make it like you were here that whole time. There’s just not. You’re going to have to trust me and trust this,” she pointed back and forth between the two of them. “I swear to you that nothing happened between Jordan and I while you were gone or while you were here for that matter. She was a true friend to me during that time and you should be thankful for that.” She laid it on thick in her attempt at full disclosure. “After everything she had done for me I wasn’t going to just have her live out on the streets when she got kicked out of her apartment. It was going to be a couple weeks at most and the day she moved in is the day I got the call about you. The day you got back I called her and we talked through it all. She wanted to stay and I wanted to move out to the coast with you so that’s what we did. I didn’t tell you she was staying with me because it was so insignificant. All I cared about was that you were home, baby. Nothing else mattered to me. No one else mattered to me.”

Ashlyn felt awful. After all of the things she had said to Ali and accused her of and the whole time she really had been thinking only about her. She wiped her face with her sleeve and then brought her eyes back to meet Ali. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I just…I love you so much and I’ so scared you’re going to leave me.” She dipped her eyes away, unable to finish her statement while looking into Ali’s worried eyes.

Ali’s face scrunched a bit in confusion. Since Ashlyn had come back she had given her absolutely no indications that she wasn’t one hundred percent in so she was caught off guard by her confession. “Why would you think that baby?” She cupped her hands on Ashlyn’s cheeks and wiped her tears away with her thumbs. “Where is this coming from?”

Ashlyn shrugged and brushed her hands away. “I don’t know. I just have this feeling deep inside and it scares me.”

“What kind of feeling?” Ali shrunk back a bit, taking in Ashlyn’s demeanor. Her shoulders had slumped and she was shifting back and forth nervously on her feet. This was not the confident Ashlyn she was used to and it broke her to see Ash this vulnerable and lost. She gently touched Ashlyn’s arm to get her to look up, “Baby you can talk to me. What’s going on?”

“I can’t explain it. It’s like...I don’t know,” she shrugged.

“No try to explain it babe. I’m right here, it’s okay.” Ali stepped closer, allowing her body to wrap around Ashlyn to provide her some comfort. “You’re safe with me.”

“That’s just it, Alex. I’m not! Or at least I don’t feel that way.”

She looked up in shock as Ash pushed away from her. Had Ashlyn really just said she didn’t feel safe with her?

Ashlyn realized how Ali took her words and tried to recover, “No it’s...it’s not you.” She was fumbling for her words and could see Ali becoming more upset by the second. “Shit this is why I didn’t say anything. That didn’t come out right.”

Sensing Ash really needed to get something out, Ali regained her composure and looked up waiting for her to try again.

“It’s not you, it’s me. I just don’t feel safe anywhere. My mind still thinks I’m over there. When I’m awake I’m always on edge and waiting for something bad to happen, for someone to burst in and start torturing me or make me watch someone else get hurt. That was the worst, you know? I could handle it, but seeing someone I love? Seeing them do that to Danny with those damn grins on their faces? That’s what really got me. I just...I feel like I’m still trapped, still a prisoner. I’m still their prisoner, Alex. Even though I’m home my mind hasn’t come back yet. And I’m scared it never will. What if I never get better? What if I can’t be the woman you deserve, the woman that you fell in love with again?” She sighed, finally finishing her confession.

Ali was standing there in awe. She had thought Ashlyn was harboring her feelings, but didn’t know it was this bad. As much as it broke Ali to hear the words come out of her mouth, she was glad Ashlyn had finally opened up. “Baby it’s going to be okay. It’s only been a week. It’s going to take some time, but those mental wounds will heal just like the physical ones.” She brushed her hand lightly against Ashlyn’s eyebrow, where a small, thin scar was forming. “And through it all I will be right by your side. You’re not going to lose me again. I’m not going anywhere. I promise you that.”

“You can’t promise me that, Alex. There’s always this sense tingling deep down that this,” she threw her arms out wide to emphasize what she meant, “can all be taken away. No one can guarantee anything. The army can’t, you can’t, the doctors can’t. I went from having it all and being one month from coming home to my amazing life, to having it ripped away only to be thrown in some shit hole for six months. And after losing it all once, I don’t think I can bear to go through that again.”

Ali pulled Ashlyn in tighter and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “Well guess what?” she whispered softly in her ear.

“What?” huffed Ashlyn, although softening a bit from her earlier stance.

“It’s your lucky day because I’m never going to leave you. I promise you I’m in this and I’m not going anywhere. Whatever happens we will get through this together. I love you.” She gave her another kiss and then let her head rest on Ashlyn’s shoulder, loving the fact that Ashlyn wrapped around her tightly again.

“I love you too baby. Thanks for listening to me,” she said softly with sincerity.

The two stood in silence for a few moments, locked in their embrace. So much had just been said, but there was still so much more to be spoken. They relished the silence around them, almost as if the world had frozen and they were the only two left. This was exactly where they both wanted to be, exactly where they both needed to be.

Head still resting on Ashlyn’s shoulder, Ali let her worries momentarily fade away, her guard finally dropping. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” She whispered it almost inaudibly to herself, but Ash picked up on it, a small smile flowing across her lips as the words softly played over and over in her mind.


	62. The Compromise

The bang of a tray clattering to the ground outside her door after being dropped by a nurse, tore Ashlyn from her nightmare. “Danny get down!” she yelled, desperately clawing for a body.

“Ashlyn! Ash baby calm down, it’s me,” Ali said as she tried to grab Ashlyn to calm her. Her eyes went wide with horror as she saw the look of complete terror across Ashlyn’s face, quickly replaced by confusion and then embarrassment. She averted her eyes from Ali, heart still racing.

“Baby what was that? Are you okay?” Ali was concerned at what she had just witnessed. She had woken Ash up from nightmares before, but this seemed different. This one seemed more real, more intense.

Ash shrugged it off and took a sip of water. “Just a nightmare babe. I didn’t mean to scare you. I don’t even remember falling asleep. I’m sorry beautiful.” She reached up and grazed Ali’s face, pulling her down to place a gently kiss on her forehead.

She knew there was more to the story, but Ali decided to let it slide for now. “It’s okay. Are you sure you don’t want me to stay here tonight? I don’t have to go.”

Ashlyn shook her head, “No you need to go, Alex. I’m not going to have you miss your big fancy company gala to sit here and watch reruns of Friends with me all night. I want you to have a fun night and not worry about me. I’ll be okay, I promise.” She tried to sound reassuring, not wanting to bring up what she was really thinking.

Ali did it for her. “Okay. Well I just wanted to warn you that...that Jordan is going to be there.” She knew this was a highly public event and that there would likely be photographers. The last thing Ash needed to see was a picture that looked worse than it really was so her imagination could run rampant.

It caught Ash off guard that Ali had brought it up, but she appreciated it. After their argument the Jordan topic had slipped off their radar, but they both knew it could easily come up again. “Oh okay.” She had figured Jordan would be there. “Thanks for telling me,” she added a bit downtrodden. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Ali, she was just jealous that Jordan was going to get to see her woman in her hot black dress looking all fine.

“Ashlyn it’s a work function. I promise I won’t dance wi-” Ali started before she was cut off.

“One dance,” Ashlyn blurted out, holding up one finger in the air.

“What?” said Ali, a hint of confusion in her tone.

“You can have one dance with her. Hands above the waist though, missy,” she added with a wide grin. After everything she wanted Ali to know she trusted her, trusted their commitment to each other.

“Oh is that so? How generous of you,” Ali teased her, smiling back. She was surprised Ashlyn was being so calm about it all.

“Well I’m just in a giving mood,” she said with a smirk, grabbing Ali behind her legs and pulling her onto the bed on top of her, crashing their lips together.

“Is that so?” Ali questioned through the kiss, unable to control her spiking heartbeat. They hadn’t been intimate since Ash had gotten back and adding on the seven months before that, it didn’t take much for either of them to get hot.

Ali felt Ashlyn’s hands exploring her body, grabbing over every inch as their throbbing bodies pressed together. She broke from Ashlyn’s lips to shower her with open mouthed kisses through ragged breaths, starting by her ear and then trailing down her neck.

A knock on the door tore them from their embrace and Ali turned many shades of red as the doctor walked into the room, an unnecessary grin on his face. “Uh sorry to interrupt ladies, but I just wanted to check in and see how you were feeling Harris.” He looked back and forth between the two women who were both sporting large, embarrassed grins. “I’ll come back in a moment. I think I forgot your file,” he added before stepping back out of the room and closing the door soundly behind him.

Ali slipped off the bed and readjusted her clothes, finally erupting into the laugh she had been suppressing.

“Hey come back here!” Ashlyn whined, trying to grab Ali and tug her back into the bed.

Ali turned around, but held her ground. “If I get back in that bed, I’ll never make it out of here tonight. I have to go get ready anyways.” She winked before grabbing her keys and purse off the table. “Besides that Doctor is going to come back and I don’t think he’d be able to handle the sight of me doing the things I’d be doing to you.”

“Aw come on, Alex! I’d make it quick,” she added with a wink of her own.

Ali leaned down and placed a hard kiss on her lips. “While I don’t doubt that, I really have to get going baby.”

Ash pretended to pout, but eventually broke into another smile when Ali stared back at her. “Fine. You better send me a picture though!”

“Of course baby. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” She gave Ash another kiss before striding out of the room.

“Remember...hands above the waist Miss Krieger!” Ashlyn called out after her with a chuckle. She was still laughing at her joke when the doctor walked back in.

“I see you’re feeling better today, Harris,” he noted, checking over her chart that he was holding. “You’ve been eating better and gained most of that weight back which is phenomenal.”

“Are you calling me fat, Doc?” Ashlyn teased.

“Not at all,” he chuckled. He moved closer to inspect her face which had healed for the most part. She had a few scars, but nothing really visible. He mentally patted himself on the back for his stitching job before lifting her shirt a bit to examine her ribs. The color was beginning to fade and he could tell that she was in much less pain than when she came in a couple weeks ago. He poked it a few times and Ash tried her best not to squirm, in an attempt to convince him she was all better. He wrote something down before looking back. “I also heard you’re doing great at PT. Starting to get that motion back in your shoulder and I see you’ve been cleared to remove the walking boot.” He paused long enough for Ashlyn to interject.

“Does that mean I can go home soon?” She had asked the question every day, but this time she was finally hearing good news.

“I’d say tomorrow, or the next day at the latest we could consider releasing you. I still have to check with your other doctor though so don’t get too excited.”

“Seriously?!” she squealed excitedly.

“I said we’ll consider it,” he laughed, shaking his head back and forth. “Let me go get Dr. Reynolds and we’ll chat.”

________________

Ali walked into her condo, tossing her keys and bag on the bed as she looked at her closet. She hadn’t moved out yet so her stuff was all still there. Jordan nicely offered to just stay in the guest bedroom until Ali got around to moving her stuff into the new house. She clawed through the dresses that were hanging on the rack, shaking her head at each one.

“Wear the red one,” came a voice from behind her. “She’ll love the red one.”

Ali looked over and saw Jordan standing in the doorway, already dressed for the event. She had on a tight, knee length navy blue dress which accentuated her curves perfectly. Her hair was laid over her shoulder in long, loose curls and her smile was the only accessory needed to make Ali’s jaw drop. Quickly recovering she smiled back a bit sadly, “Ashlyn can’t come tonight. They wouldn’t release her.”

“Well I’m sure she’ll enjoy the pictures you send her. And besides, I love the red one too” she retorted with a playful wink which earned her a teasing glare from Ali. “Now hurry up and get ready so we can head out. The limo will be here soon!”

“Give me fifteen minutes!”

Jordan just laughed and walked down the hallway, heels clicking behind her. “I’m sure it’ll only be fifteen minutes!” she called over her shoulder. “I’m going to have a drink.”

Ali laughed to herself. How did all of her friends know her so well?

___________________

“If it was up to me I’d let you go home today, but Dr. Reynolds is a bit more cautious and thinks a few days more might be better.”

Her shoulders slumped as the two Doctors stood before her bed. She had anxiously waited for half an hour for them to come back and it was just more bad news. As she was about to answer her phone vibrated. She picked it up and opened the message, mouth dropping at the image she was staring at. Ash thought on it for a minute before looking up. “How about a trial run, Doc?”


	63. The Trial Run

“Well look who it is! The two most gorgeous women of the firm.” Parker jokingly eyed Ali and Jordan up and down as they stepped out of the limo and strolled into the ballroom. “You two look stunning,” his statement laden with natural charm.

“You’re looking pretty dapper yourself, Parker,” Ali teased as she patted his chest gently before he wrapped her up in a hug and placed a kiss on her cheek.

He was looking rather handsome, wearing a black tuxedo with a red pocket square, to show off their company colors, with his hair neatly parted to one side. Ali was wearing a stunning red dress as well which blended well against his tux as the two posed for some pictures together. As the two partners of the firm it didn’t hurt to match and it definitely didn’t hurt that they were both blessed with good looks either. The positive feedback from the new billboards around town definitely attested to that.

“Jordan get in here!” Parker said, ushering her over to join them. Jordan walked to the other side of Parker and he wrapped his arm around her back. “They’re going to think I’m the luckiest man in the world,” he teased through a wide grin as the girls shook their heads and giggled.

After a few more pictures Ali sighed, “Alright you got your pictures, now can I finally get something to drink?”

“Yes, but don’t forget we need to talk to Bill Wagner when he gets here. We need him to jump ship and come on board with us if we’re going to expand.”

Ali nodded, “Yeah just come get me when you see him.” She paused before adding with a laugh, “Make it earlier in the night before I have too much to drink please.”

“Aw but drunk Ali is the best!” Parker teased before making his way through the crowd.

“Why do I always hear about this drunk Ali, but never get to see it for myself?” Jordan mused as they moseyed over to the bar. “Four shots of tequila, a whiskey soda for me and a vodka cran for this one,” Jordan said to the bartender who had wandered over before turning back to Ali for her answer.

After shaking her head and looking sternly at Jordan she replied. “First of all, don’t think you can just get me drunk tonight. And second of all you’ve never seen drunk Ali because she gets very handsy sometimes and that’s not always a good thing.” She finished with a chuckle as the bartender came back with their drinks. 

Jordan dropped a fifty in the tip jar and winked at him, “Keep ‘em coming all night handsome.”

The bartender smiled back, thinking that Jordan was hitting on him which made Ali laugh even harder.

Jordan turned back towards her, “So you get handsy, huh? I better keep these shots to myself then.” She pretended to gather all of the shots to hide them from Ali. “The last thing I want is my boss getting a little too wild and trying to take advantage of me.”

Jordan kicked back one shot after the other, quickly biting the lime slice they came with, looking Ali dead in the eyes while she gently sucked on it. Ali averted her eyes and laughed, rolling her eyes. It had become a running joke that Jordan would do things just to try to make Ali uncomfortable. To be honest, it was really the only way to diffuse the tension between them. She wasn’t going to back down though. They were too competitive for their own good. Ali grabbed the remaining two shots and knocked them back one after the other before licking her lips, ignoring the lime that was sitting on the napkin before her. She signaled for two more and the bartender nearly tripped over himself trying to rush them over to the two hottest women at the event.

“You going to stop at two? Or...”

Jordan grinned. She always loved when Ali threw it back in her face. “Oh it’s on! Just don’t think I’m going to hold your hair back when you get sick later tonight! I don’t think you can keep up with me all night.”

As she said that, Ali caught herself, set the full shot glass back on the bar and looked pensively down at it. “You’re right. I should watch myself. I have to be back at the hospital early tomorrow morning. Ashlyn has PT and I should be there when she gets back.”

Jordan set hers down as well, catching on to what Ali was getting at. She placed her hand on Ali’s and looked at her coolly. “Ali, you’ve been there every night with Ashlyn. You deserve a fun night out. I think even Ashlyn agrees with that. Why else would she practically force you to come tonight?”

Ali shrugged and spun the shot glass back and forth in her hands contemplatively.

“You need to take care of yourself too, ya know? Show everyone here that you’re back and that you’re going to be kicking ass for them. You’re a partner and you need to act like it again. Just relax and try to have some fun tonight! I promise I will make sure you get home and to the hospital looking at least somewhat presentable tomorrow morning.” She picked her shot glass up and downed it before slamming it down on the bar and looking over at Ali musingly.

“Somewhat presentable?” Ali chuckled. Although she didn’t quiet appreciate the tough love she knew Jordan was right. She needed everyone to see that she was doing okay. As a partner they had to believe she was up for the job or the rumors would start flying. Ali grabbed the shot glass off the bar and raised it in the air, “Here’s to being the life of the party tonight!” she called as she let the fiery tequila burn down her throat. “Whew!” She could already feel her head getting a touch foggy. “Although, maybe I’ll be the life of the party that doesn’t take any more shots,” she joked, shaking her head to clear it. “I think I’m tipsy enough to go mingle with a room of lawyers now,” she teased as she nudged Jordan and they started making their way through the crowd.

For the next hour, Ali caught up with her employees. She joked around with everyone and found herself actually having a good time as the night ran on. About halfway through the night, the music started playing louder and people were making their way out on to the dance floor. “You want to dance?” Ali casually asked as Jordan sipped on her drink.

“You mean with you?” she asked, pretending to be shocked. “I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble and I definitely don’t want to get my ass kicked by your girlfriend. I’m actually surprised she didn’t do that already when she found out I was living with you while she was standing with in arms reach of me.” She laughed and took another sip of her drink thinking back to the whole misunderstanding that had caused a lot of unnecessary drama.

“Please don’t remind me.” Ali slapped her forehead, regretting her terrible decision making that had led to their biggest fight. “Anyways...I’m allowed once dance with you, but your hands have to stay above my waist.”

Jordan looked back at her quizzically before a smile broke out over her face. “Oh my god were those words a direct quote from Ashlyn?” She snorted through her straw when Ali shyly nodded. Grabbing Ali’s hand, she pulled her out onto the dance floor, “I better wait for a long one then to get my song’s worth.”

They started dancing with a larger group of people laughing especially hard when Parker came barging into the area doing some strange dance he must have seen in a YouTube video. As the crowd thinned they found themselves surrounded by a smaller group, just as a good song came on. “I pick this one!” Jordan teased as she stepped towards Ali, closing the gap between them a bit.  
Ali rolled her eyes and kept dancing. They had been having a great time all night and she was really enjoying her freedom from the hospital. The alcohol had helped loosen her up a bit, but she still kept thinking about Ashlyn. Jordan’s arms wrapped around Ali’s waist and she raised them up to teasingly reassure Ali that she wasn’t breaking any rules. After a few minutes, Jordan leaned in and whispered into her ear, “I told you Ashlyn would like that dress on you.”

Ali pulled back and bit and looked back at her incredulously. “What...why would you say that?” Just then she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to find herself face to face with Ashlyn.

“Can I steal this dance?” she softly questioned extending her hand out for Ali, before Jordan smiled, nodded and slipped away in to the crowd.

“ASHLYN! What are you doing here?” she shrieked as her arms instinctively wrapped around her neck before pushing back to take in the sight before her. Ashlyn was dressed in her formal military uniform, which Ali had never seen before. The top of her shiny black boots were covered by her navy blue pants, which was topped by a black suit coat, adorned with four gold buttons and a plethora of badges and medals to signify all of her achievements. She held her breath for a moment hoping that Ash would answer the question and wasn’t mad that she had found her dancing with Jordan, no matter how innocently it was.

“I charmed the doctors and they said I could go out tonight,” she said with a wide grin, ignoring the tiny bit of jealously that had crept in. She didn’t want to ruin what could be a great night for both of them and she trusted Ali completely. “You didn’t think that I would get that picture and be able to nottt see you in real life, did you?”

Ali pulled Ash in, so turned on by her dressed in her uniform. She devoured her lips in a passionate kiss which earned her several cat calls from people around her. Ashlyn pulled back, a bit embarrassed since it was her girlfriend’s work function. “Well then. I can tell someone’s been doing shots,” she teased, tasting the alcohol on her breath.

“I may have had a drink or two,” she smirked.

“You want me to get you another?” Ashlyn asked, trying to take care of her girl for once.

“You know what I want?” she asked, pulling Ash in for another passionate, but shorter kiss.

“What do you want baby?”

“I want you. To fuck me. Right now.”

Ash gulped, and grabbed Ali’s hand, dragging her quickly to the bathroom. They could no longer contain the animalistic urges that were rippling through their bodies. As soon as they were in the bathroom, Ashlyn slammed the door shut with her foot, fumbling for the lock with her free hand as Ali jumped into her arms and wrapped her legs securely around her waist, gathering her lips in a fierce, deep kiss. After hearing the lock click, Ash stepped up onto another level all together, clawing at Ali’s back trying to meld their bodies even tighter together. She staggered a few steps under Ali’s weight since she still hadn’t gained her strength back, but didn’t let it stop her as she roughly slammed Ali’s back against the wall and sucked hard on her neck. The moan that her actions elicited just spurred Ash on even further, this time biting down as she reached up and began massaging her breast with her free hand.

Ali’s head rolled back, resting against the wall as she let herself be completely dominated by Ashlyn. She had wanted their first time to be sweet and romantic, but the truth was that she needed this, they needed this. “Baby I need you,” Ali whispered hotly into Ashlyn’s ear.

The words sent shivers down Ashlyn’s spine and in one swift motion she set Ali down on the edge of the sink and pushed her backwards against the wall with one hand, while the other furiously worked to pull Ali’s tight dress up over her knees. As she ran her finger over her panties, she could feel how wet Ali was. She wanted to take her time and tease her, but could tell by the way Ali was bucking her hips up that she just needed to be satisfied. 

Ali moaned again, lifting off the counter as Ashlyn quickly pulled her underwear down. Ash ran her fingers up Ali’s legs and followed them with a trail of hungry kisses. Ali’s breath was ragged and goosebumps followed Ashlyn’s every kiss. “Please baby,” she whispered again, biting her lower lip and spreading her legs wider to give Ashlyn all the access she needed.

Ashlyn slid two fingers into Ali as she wrapped her other hand around her back to pull her in closer, using her hips to drive her fingers in deeper. Ali hungrily gathered Ashlyn’s lips in a kiss, only to shift to the crook of her neck so she could stifle her moans while her hands tangled into Ashlyn’s hair. 

“Fuck, baby. Oh fuck,” Ali moaned into the collar of Ashlyn’s shirt as her body began trembling.

Ash could feel Ali’s whole body shaking. Her breathing became more staggered and desperate as she rocked her hips in rhythm with Ashlyn’s hands, demanding more friction. Feeling Ali tighten around her, she curled her fingers and kissed Ali deeply to stifle the moans and slew of profanities that left her lips as she came completely undone.

Ali’s body went limp, finally feeling some semblance of satisfaction for the first time in over seven months. They sat in silence for a moment, foreheads resting on one another as they both tried to calm their racing hearts. Ali could barely catch her breath and could feel her whole body pulsing with a hungry desire. She wasn’t done. She wanted more. Just as she dragged her hand over the waistband of Ashlyn’s pants there was a knock on the door.

“Hello? Is someone in there?”

Ashlyn groaned, knowing full well what she was missing out on by the sultry grin Ali had just given her. “Be right out!” she called, a bit annoyed.

Ali hopped off the sink and scooted her underwear back up before adjusting her dress. She checked herself in the mirror and smoothed her hair over before turning back and pulling Ash over to her by the front of her belt. “I owe you,” she said with a wink before strutting over to the door and yanking it open.

Ash followed closely behind as they made their way back out onto the dancefloor. A few songs later Ali had gotten that look in her eyes again and had turned so that her ass was grinding against Ashlyn’s front. She wrapped Ashlyn’s arms around her and swayed to the beat, forgetting that there was anyone else in the room. Watching Ali dance and feeling her moving against her body to the music made Ashlyn want her even more, if that was even possible. Just as she was about to grab Ali’s hand and drag her off the bathroom again she felt a tap on her shoulder. 

“Can I steal this one from you for a few minutes?” came a voice from behind her.

Ashlyn turned around and saw Parker standing behind her, exuding his natural confidence. “Parker how are you doing?” she replied, wrapping him in a tight hug. 

“I’m doing great. And I’m glad to see you out and about again, especially looking so good. But hey, do you mind if I steal Ali for a bit? We have a potential business partner we need to woo and who better to do it than the most gorgeous woman in the room?”

“I like your strategy, Parker,” Ash joked. “Who can say no to that smile?” 

Ali blushed before tucking her arm into Parker’s. “I’ll catch up to you in a few babe.”

“Take your time. I’ll be at the bar, Alex.” She smiled as she watched them retreat, stopping at a middle aged male standing by one of the cocktail tables. They shook hands and Ash watched the easy interaction they all shared, adoring how professional and personable Ali could be. 

“You’re a lucky woman,” came a voice from behind her.

Ashlyn turned around and saw a gorgeous woman standing behind her, clad in a tight fitting navy dress. After a moment of looking the woman over she quickly realized where she remembered the woman’s face from. It was Jordan. “Uh thanks,” she replied as the bartender brought her over the beer she had ordered.

“We’ve never been formally introduced before. I’m Jordan,” she said, extending her hand which Ashlyn just stared at without making any more to shake it.

“I know who you are,” Ash replied flatly, unable to conceal that she had zero interest in interacting with her.  
Jordan held up two fingers to request shots as he disappeared quickly before turning back to Ash. “I know I’m probably the last person you wanted to see her tonight, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m really sorry for what I did last summer and that I’m happy that you’re back.”

“I’m sure you are,” muttered Ashlyn mockingly while she sipped her drink. Jordan was right about one thing, she was the last person Ash wanted to see that night. But she had also been the first person she saw when she got there, dancing close and laughing with Ali. She hadn’t mentioned it to her girlfriend because she didn’t want it to ruin their night, but that didn’t mean that it still hadn’t bothered her. The image of Jordan wrapped around her spurred painful pulses throughout her entire body, but she tried to keep her calm, not wanting to make a scene and embarrass Ali at her work event.

“You can think what you want and probably rightfully so, but I am glad that you’re back. It was awful seeing her that heartbroken. I’ve never seen someone, so devastated. And I’m a lawyer so that’s saying something. I’ve seen people get sentenced to life in jail, innocent people convicted, mothers and fathers having to testify at trials where their children were murdered. I have seen people lose literally everything they have, but I’ve never seen someone like that. No one could fix it. No one, but you. She’s better when you’re here. She’s…herself again. I could never make her happy like that. I care a lot about her, but I’m not stupid enough to think I could ever win her heart. You can’t win when there’s not even a competition, you know? She needs you, Ashlyn. That’s all there is to it.”

She waited for a moment for a response, but when none came she turned to leave. At least she had been able to say her piece.

“Jordan, wait…” Ash mumbled before she knew what she was doing.

Jordan turned around, and looked quizzically back up at her. 

“I just wanted to say thank you.” 

“Um…okay. For what?” she replied.

Ashlyn thought back to what Ali had told her about how good of a friend and how supportive Jordan had been during her dark days. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, Jordan seemed like a good person for her to have around. Someone she could laugh and joke with. “I wanted to thank you for taking care of Alex and making sure she got through everything when I was gone. Thank you for being there for her, in whatever capacity it was.”

Jordan smiled and bellied back up to the bar next to Ashlyn. “I assure you that it was completely platonic. I wasn’t going to disrespect you or her like that. I just couldn’t bear to see her like that.”

“It was that bad?” Ash asked as sadness filled her eyes.

“It was pretty bad. That woman loves you more than she could ever express. Just remember that.” 

Jordan met Ashlyn’s eyes and for the first time they made a connection. Though they had been on opposite ends of it, they really only had one thing in mind, and that was taking care of Ali. 

“Well, thanks. Maybe sometime we can have you over to the condo for dinner and I can thank you properly.” Ashlyn extended her peace offering, but Jordan’s taken aback look threw her off. “What?”

“You mean my condo?” she teased, playfully elbowing Ashlyn in the ribs. “I think you have a house to be moving into, don’t you?”

Ash had completely forgotten. After their fight and everything that had gone done, Ali hadn’t even brought up the house again and Ashlyn had let it slip completely from her mind. Her girlfriend had bought them a house and she hadn’t even said thank you yet. “Oh yeah. Duh,” Ash chuckled, as she rubbed the back of her neck shyly. “Must be this damn concussion,” she lied.

“Uh oh a concussion? I guess I have to take these shots of tequila myself then,” Jordan mused, grinning teasingly back at Ashlyn who was still a bit red.

“Well I wouldn’t go that far,” she retorted and scooped the shot glass of the bar. “I don’t think a few shots will hurt!”

They raised their glasses up and clinked them together before shooting back the warm tequila. Jordan took it like a champ while Ashlyn sputtered a bit after not having alcohol for seven months. Just as she got herself under control, she was sent into another coughing fit when she felt a hand slide down her back and come to a rest on her butt. Her eyes shot wide open, unsure of how to politely tell Jordan to stop after they had finally just made peace. Just as she was about to speak she heard a cackle behind her and turned to see Ali doubled over laughing, pointing back and forth between the two of them. Ashlyn instantly figured out what had been going on by Ali’s childish grin. 

“Well you two cozied up at the bar doing shots is the last thing I EVER expected to see! This is great!” She was still laughing, unable to control it. “I literally think I’ve seen it all now,” she teased as she squeezed into the bar between them. Whatever was going on, she was glad to find them laughing and joking with each other, instead of tearing each other to shreds. Another thing in her life had just worked itself out, paving the way to smooth sailing. “Another round of shots please. Make it three this time!” she added as she shot Ashlyn an electrifyingly sexual grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do we all still hate Jordan after this chapter? Just curious lol. Hope you enjoyed ;)


	64. The House

“Can you please tell me where we’re going?” whined Ashlyn whose eyes were covered with a blindfold. “We’ve been driving foreverrr.”

Ali just laughed as she switched lanes. “It’s been forty five minutes and no I’m not telling you.” She grabbed Ashlyn’s hand and gave it a squeeze, “I promise you’ll love it though.”

Ash huffed and sank back into her seat feeling defeated. It was two days after the work gala and Ashlyn had finally been released from the hospital. She was excited to just relax and catch up with friends, but Ali had been so excited about her surprise that Ashlyn didn’t have the heart to let her down. So she had sat in the car, blindfolded and kept her mouth shut even though deep down old memories were bubbling up. After only a few minutes of driving, she couldn't shake the eerily similar feeling of being blindfolded and transported to some undisclosed destination. Every little bump in the road or lane change made her twitch, but she tried to play it off. Ali was excited and she figured she could handle it. She sat silently waiting for the ride to end so she could get a hold of her nerves and stop feeling like she was a prisoner again.

After a few more minutes the car slowed down and Ash could hear the crunch of gravel underneath the tires. With her eyes being kept from her, her other senses kicked in. As Ali opened her door and helped her step out, she could feel the cool breeze across her skin and the gentle sound of waves caressing the shore. She wasn't sure where they were exactly, but she knew there was a beach nearby.

“Ready baby?” Ali placed a hand on her back while taking Ashlyn’s hand in her own and guided her forward a few steps.

“I’ve been ready,” she responded impatiently. 

Ali slipped the blindfold down so that it was now loosely around Ashlyn’s face and took in the awe that came over her face.

“Babe is this...” Her eyes went wide with shock.

“Yes. It’s ours,” Ali replied with a deep smile as Ashlyn wrapped her arms tightly around her waist, still squealing in excitement.

“Seriously?!” She was still in complete shock as she looked out in front of her.

“Welcome home, soldier,” she said with a wink before Ashlyn took off running for the front door.

Ali followed quickly behind listening to Ashlyn’s shrieks and comments as she roamed through the house. She couldn’t see her when she entered the house, but could make out where she was by the squeals of joy and the “oh my gods!” that followed her every move. She could hear doors opening and closing and footsteps pattering all over the second story as Ashlyn explored every inch of the house.

Finally Ash poked her head over the banister from the second story, looking down at Ali who was standing in the grand foyer with a huge grin. “Babe have you seen the size of the shower in our master bathroom? It’s crazy big and even has those rain shower head thingies!”

Ali couldn’t help but laugh at how cute and excited her girlfriend was as she explored their new house. “I have seen it. You know before I bought the place I figured it was a good idea to look at it first.”

Ashlyn shot her a glare and feigned being mad that she was teasing her, but couldn’t fight off the grin that painted on her face. She ran and slid down the thick, wooden banister, nearly wiping out as she hopped off the end.

“Man I can’t wait until I can teach our kids how to do that!” she said innocently without thinking as she looked back up joyfully at the banister she had just slid down.

“Kids?” Ali asked, unable to conceal the shock in her voice. They had never really talked about it before so it caught her by surprise.

“Well,” Ashlyn quickly backtracked, unsure if she had just gone into uncharted territory. “Well I mean if you want them, yeah.” She finished with a shrug trying to play it off, but held her breath waiting for Ali’s answer.

She thought for a moment before stepping up and pulling Ash over to her by slipping her hands in her back pockets. “Well this place does have four bedrooms so I guess we’ve got some room for little ones. Don’t you think?”

Ashlyn was beaming. Even though it was phrased as a question, she knew it was Ali’s way of telling her that she absolutely wanted to have kids together.

“Want me to show you the best part?”

Ashlyn pulled back from a kiss and looked down at Ali. “You mean you buying us a house, having all of our things already moved in and being completely amazing as always isn’t the best part?”

“Nope,” she retorted, popping the p sound. She grabbed Ashlyn’s hand and walked her through the main foyer into the open space that was comprised of the kitchen, dining room and living room. Almost the entire west wall of the house was comprised of windows, which overlooked the expansive ocean that lay before their house. Two beautifully crafted French doors opened up onto a newly finished wooden deck which sprawled out over their own private beach.

Ashlyn’s face dropped as she took in the sight before her, never dreaming that she would be living a life like this in her own private beach house. She knew this house must have cost millions and didn’t even think she could put into words how appreciative she was. She turned around with a few tears in her eyes and wrapped Ali up tightly in her arms. “You are absolutely incredible,” she whispered in her ear as she placed a kiss on her temple. “The most amazing person in the world and I am so incredibly lucky to call you mine.”

“And I’m lucky to call you mine too,” she replied, cupping Ashlyn’s cheeks with her hands to pull her face down to her. She placed a gentle, passionate kiss on her lips and a jolt of bliss shot down her spine when she felt Ashlyn smile against her lips.

“How about we break in our new bedroom?” Ashlyn questioned, a sly grin creeping across her lips as her hands found their way underneath Ali’s shirt, tugging gently at her waistband. 

Her heart rate instantly spiked as she felt Ashlyn’s warm hands grazing over her navel, dipping down to her hips. She grabbed Ash’s hands and lowered them a bit, guiding her hands to where she really needed them. “Actually, I thought we could test out that huge shower with the rain shower head thingy,” she teased, her lips still firmly planted against Ashlyn’s. Her teasing was cut short quickly as Ashlyn ran her fingers gently over her center and she took in a sharp, jagged breath. “The bed is good,” she gave in.

“That’s what I thought,” Ash whispered hotly in Ali’s ear as she nibbled on her neck. “I’m going to take my time on you tonight baby.”

Ali let her body melt into Ashlyn’s at those words, giving herself over completely. Having Ali so close to her gave her all the strength she needed so she slid her hands behind Ali’s butt and swooped her off her feet, wrapping her legs around her waist. She made her way up the stairs, kissing every inch of exposed skin, spurred on by the soft moans escaping from her lips. Her knees roughly hit the bed frame and she laid Ali down gently on her back and let her body down to rest lightly on top of her. Ali slowly tugged her shirt over her own head, while Ash slid her pants down. She stepped back, taking in every inch of her body with her eyes. The wisps of setting sun crept through the bedroom window that faced the ocean and washed across Ali’s body, casting a soft glow over her skin which accentuated every dip and curve in her frame. 

Ali blushed a bit as she felt Ashlyn’s eyes raking over her, but the smile came over Ashlyn’s lips reassured her. 

“You are so breathtakingly gorgeous,” Ashlyn whispered in complete awe as she looked over her girlfriend, turned on even more by her sudden shyness and the blush that had crept over her cheeks. It had been so long since she had seen her so naked and exposed like this and she wanted to savor every moment. Her mind traced over every inch, trying to ingrain it in her memory before her fingers would attempt the same. 

Ali wanted to respond, but couldn’t find the words. She could sense by the stillness in the air that Ashlyn was savoring the moment so decided not to disturb her, just biting her lip in response and letting her girl familiarize herself again. The way Ashlyn was looking at her made her feel special, like she was the only person in the world that she really, truly saw. As much as her body wanted Ashlyn, she wanted this to be different. At the gala they had rushed into it, in a deep, desperate desire to satisfying their aching bodies. It was amazing and hot and passionate, but it wasn’t what they needed now. Tonight was going to be different. Tonight they were going to take their time and make up for all the missed time.


	65. The Picture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave you two tonight! Hope you enjoy :)

For some reason, Ashlyn just couldn’t bring herself to pull her eyes away from the picture. She traced over every inch of it with her finger as a scowl crossed her lips. There was nothing to worry about and she knew it, but the sinking feeling wouldn’t leave her gut. She tossed the newspaper down and tuned back to her coffee as she rubbed the top of Bandit’s head that was resting solidly in her lap. Closing her eyes, she tried to relax, letting the tranquil sound of the ocean wash over her body and the crisp scent of salt water fill her nostrils. “There’s nothing to worry about right?” she mumbled to herself, which earned a soft rumble from Bandit’s throat. She tried to shake it from her mind as she looked out over the ocean, but something kept drawing her back. She scooped that paper off the glass table that sat on their deck and looked again. After a second glance she realized it was the way they were looking at each other that bothered her most. It wasn’t how they were smiling at each or even the way Jordan had her arm laced in Ali’s while Ali leaned gently into her. No. It was the way their eyes met and seemed to linger there, as if they were the only two people in the world. She knew it was only a picture, only a snapshot in time, but in her mind when you gave that type of look to someone, you held it for a while. The title of the article didn’t make her feel great either, reading, “Brunette Bombshells Winning Inside and Out of the Courtroom for the Parker & Krieger Firm.”

She groaned as she tossed the paper back down on the table and sat back in her seat, letting her hands fall to Bandit’s stomach which she gently rubbed. He rolled onto his back, exposing his whole tummy which finally made Ashlyn break into a smile. “Oh you like that, buddy?” she cooed as she snuggled her face into his soft fur. Bandit let out a soft yip in reply.

“Don’t get him too riled up,” came a voice from behind them.

From the corner of her eye, Ash saw Ali push the sliding door closed and make her way out onto the deck. Her hair was hanging low over her shoulders in a messy, but still sexy type of way as she wandered over with her own mug of coffee. She was wearing a t-shirt, just a t-shirt, and Ashlyn almost choked on her drink as she noticed how the hem of the t-shirt was just a touch short of covering her entire bottom.

“What?” Ali asked with a raised eyebrow.

Ash almost forgot about her worries when her eyes traced from the bottom of the shirt down Ali’s long, toned legs. Almost. Bandit chewing on the edge of the newspaper brought her thoughts promptly back as she ripped her eyes away from Ali who was standing there with a teasing grin on her face.

Sensing the dynamic had just changed, her face dropped a bit. “What’s wrong babe?” She came over to the table and set her mug down on the table, kicking her feet up onto the empty chair across from her.

Ashlyn held the newspaper out to her so she could see the front page of the business section, “Looks like you and your fellow ‘bombshell’ made the headlines.”

Ali looked over at the paper, in shock that that was the picture the media had decided to use. There had been plenty of pictures of her and Parker, but of course that’s the one they had chosen. Noting how good she actually looked in the picture, she had to fight back the smile that wanted to creep over her lips so that Ash wouldn’t get even more upset. She immediately figured out why Ashlyn was mad and tried to quickly think of the best way to approach the conversation. They had been fine the night of the gala and the days after as well. It must have been a slow news day so they decided to air the story and photos a bit late.

“Well at least they got my good side,” she joked, trying to ease the tension that had just settled between them.

“Really, Alex?” Ash retorted.

“Ash,” she began before sighing. “I thought we went over this. I thought we were past this.” She really didn’t feel like having this conversation again, especially when Ashlyn seemed so moody.

Ashlyn tossed the paper down in front of Ali and shook her head. “Well it’s hard to get over something when it keeps getting shoved in front of me,” she huffed. “Look at the way you’re looking at each other. You don’t think that’s a bit much?”

Ali looked back at her incredulously, unable to believe that they were about to go down this road, again. “Baby, it’s a picture. You can’t draw anything from that, it was just a glance. A snapshot in time.”

“Doesn’t mean it makes me feel bubbly seeing this in the newspaper when I’m just trying to enjoy my morning.” She looked out at the ocean letting her mind wander away from the conversation. Ali’s voice was trying to penetrate her thoughts, but it didn’t work as her mind drifted out into the ocean.

Ali noticed that Ash had zoned out and sighed. She had been in and out of it since she had gotten back and Ali prayed that this wasn’t going to be another bad day. After Ashlyn’s ordeal Ali was using every ounce of patience she had, but it was difficult with all of her mood swings. Ashlyn would be happy and her old self one moment, and then retract into a shell the next. Or she would suddenly lash out at Ali out of nowhere leaving her completely shocked. The unpredictability was killing Ali and she felt like she was just walking on eggshells around her, trying not to set her off. The doctor had said this was completely normal, the mood swings and crankiness, that it was a consequence of the captivity, trauma and concussion, and Ali just prayed that he was right when he added that it was temporary. As hard as it was, they would have one good moment together, when everything seemed back to normal and it washed away all of the pain and confusion that the other moments brought. The good moments always outweighed the bad and she just hoped it would stay that way. Her Ashlyn was still there, somewhere. It was just going to take time and a lot of patience until she was back for good.

“Babe?”

Ash heard the chair next to her shift and felt Ali sink into her lap, curling her legs up so that she was on top of Ashlyn in a little ball. Her arms instinctively wrapped around her girlfriend as she felt Ali’s weight drop fully onto her.

“Ashlyn, I’m sorry that they used that picture. Obviously, if I had a choice that never would have happened. I’m not too thrilled that that’s the angle they took on the evening either. You’re not still seriously worried about Jordan though are you?” She held her breath and waited for a response, waited to see which version of Ashlyn she was going to get at the moment.

Ashlyn sighed and let her head sink into the crook of Ali’s neck. “No, I’m not. I’m sorry I got upset. It just bothers me that it’s in the newspaper for everyone to see.”

Ali breathed a sigh of relief. The old Ashlyn was back for the moment. “It’s okay baby. I just don’t want you to be worrying about that.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” Ash breathed out as she planted a kiss in Ali’s hair. The intoxicating scent of her freshly washed hair permeated Ashlyn’s brain and her heart skipped a beat, forgetting all about the picture that had just caused her so much grief. “I should really just be worrying about how long I get to have my way with you before everyone comes over later,” she added huskily, her hands sliding over Ali’s exposed skin.

Ali shuddered and looked down at the trail of goosebumps that followed Ashlyn’s wandering hands. “Oh is that so?” she replied, looking over shoulder at Ashlyn who was now sporting a large grin.

“Well I mean I can’t be late to my own coming home party,” she replied as she looked down at Ali’s slightly parted lips.

Ashlyn’s gaze was dark and penetrating and Ali almost lost her breath as she gazed back up at her, ready to rip her clothes off and take her right on the chair. She licked her lips before gently kissing Ashlyn’s, probing her lips with her tongue as she begged for more contact. Ashlyn eagerly obliged and pushed her legs together so Ali could readjust and find her position straddling her. Ali let her weight sink down onto Ashlyn as she slid her legs around her waist, pushing her center down onto Ashlyn’s. She smiled through the kiss when Ashlyn groaned into her mouth. “You have one hour. Kyle will be here to help set up at noon.”

Ash slid her hands down Ali’s back and gripped her naked ass firmly, grinding their bodies harder together. “One hour is plenty on my end,” she said before she quickly stood up, still holding Ali’s body tight to her. “You might need more than that to recover though baby girl.”

Ali shrieked as Ashlyn lifted her into the air and she felt her hand slide over her exposed center. A moan escaped her lips as she nipped at Ashlyn’s neck. “I highly doubt that,” she teased, knowing Ashlyn always loved a challenge.

“Oh, it’s on. You have no idea what you just got yourself into Miss Krieger,” Ashlyn taunted through the kiss as she slipped a finger in and then quickly back out of Ali. “You’re in trouble now princess.”

The contact sent a shock through Ali’s spine and her legs instinctively pushed tighter into Ashlyn’s side. She didn’t know what exactly Ashlyn had in mind, but she wanted to get her even more riled up. “Well I guess since I’m in trouble you’re just going to have to punish me, Sergeant,” she said innocently with a sexy smirk painted on her face.

Taunting her with her army rank, that was a new one and it absolutely floored Ashlyn. Stumbling towards the bedroom she paused and slammed Ali’s back into the wall, pressing their bodies together as hard as she could while she captured Ali’s lips in a fiery kiss, sending waves of pleasure and want burning through both of their bodies. She slipped two fingers deep inside, groaning as she felt how wet she already was. She had intended to tease her, but knew there would be plenty of time for that later. She was so turned on and her body was reacting faster than her mind could even think, spurred on even more by the moans that were escaping from Ali’s body as she pumped her fingers in and out furiously. “Yeah? You like that baby?” she asked, hotly through jagged breaths as she felt Ali start to tighten around her fingers.

“Yes,” she groaned through ragged breaths.

“That’s ma’am, yes, ma’am to you,” Ashlyn ordered with a grin on her face.

Her order was the last thing Ali remembered hearing before coming completely undone.


	66. The Coming Home Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning there are a few brief mentions of torture and some slight violence. Nothing too extreme, but thought I should put a warning here!

“You sure know how to throw a great party, sis,” said Kyle as she sat down and scooted over to Ali who was holding a beer and staring off into the distance.

She was momentarily pulled from her thoughts as she heard his voice, but her gaze remained fixed. At first he thought she was staring out at the ocean, but he realized his mistake when he followed her gaze, to Ashlyn. She was running around on the beach playing ball with Bandit, who was chasing her around barking and trying to tackle her much to the amusement of her friends that had made the trip up to the party. It was impossible not to smile as she looked out at her girlfriend who was goofing off with everyone, once again claiming the center of attention as she so often did. There was genuine smile painted on her face and Ali could tell it was one of the moments where she was at complete peace.

“Earth to Ali,” he laughed, giving her a slight nudge.

“Oh, what? Sorry, Kyle.”

He just chuckled and shook his head. “You are completely mesmerized by her aren’t you?” he teased as he took a sip of his own beer.

“I just love seeing her that happy,” she shrugged as she looked down and fiddled with the label on her drink.

“Is she usually not?” Kyle caught on to her off-handed comment and knew there was more to it.

Ali just shrugged. She knew she could tell Kyle anything, but wasn’t in the mood to get into it with him.

“Alex, you know you can tell me anything? No one expects it to be all sunshine and rainbows. What’s up?”

She dipped her eyes to her feet, “I don’t know. She’s just struggling with stuff and I feel like she’s not being honest about it. She’s been moody and a bit distant and I keep telling myself it’s just a side-effect of her injuries, but I feel like there’s more there. I just love her so much and I want her to have a smile like that,” she pointed to Ashlyn who was giggling as she wrestled with Bandit in the sand, “all the time again. Most of the times she’s great, but I just worry sometimes.”

Kyle looked over at Ash who seemed completely normal to him as she laughed with her friends and played with her puppy. “Just give her some time, Alex. After everything she went through it might take her a while to adjust back into things here.” He wrapped his arm around his little sister and pulled her close to plant a kiss on top of her head.

“I hope so, Kyle. Sometimes I feel...I just feel like she’s not really here. It’s like she’s somewhere else, in some dark place. It honestly scares me and sometimes she just snaps. She always apologizes for lashing out at me, but I can tell something is tormenting her.”

Kyle frowned a bit as she thought. “Have you brought it up to her when she’s in a good mood?”

“I don’t know how to bring it up. How do you tell your girlfriend that was a POW that she’s scaring you and you can tell something is still haunting her? Obviously it’s always going to haunt her.”

“Have you suggested that she...talk to someone?”

Ali let out a laugh. “You’re kidding right? The soldier side of Ash talking about her feelings to a stranger is about as likely to happen as me marrying Beyoncé.” She sipped her drink and waited for a response.

Kyle smiled and teasingly looked her up and down. “Beyoncé would be one lucky bitch to have a shot with you,” he joked as he poked her in the ribs.

“Not the point, Kyle,” she groaned at her brother’s attempt to cheer her up.

“I know. Sorry I was just trying to lighten the mood. Jeeze.”

Ali rolled her eyes and laid her head on his shoulder with a sigh. “I’m just scared for her sometimes. That’s all.”

“Just give it some time. She’ll be okay baby girl,” said Kyle as he gave her side a gentle squeeze.

“You really think so?”

“Yeah I do. She’s the strongest woman I know,” he said with a smile before adding with a wink, “after you of course.”

“Thanks, Kyle. I appreciate it.”

“Anytime.” He gave her a light nudge, “Now go play with your adorable little family.”

Without a second thought she chugged her drink and set it down on the edge of the deck before running onto the beach, relishing the feeling of her toes sinking into the sand. She walked up to Ash, whose face lit up when she saw her girl coming her way.

“Hey baby,” she said as she quickly wrapped her arms around her waist and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Thanks again for this awesome party. You’re the best,” she said with a wide smile. “I can’t believe you got everyone to come in such short notice! And it means a lot that your parents even flew in along with mine. It feels great to have everyone I love surrounding me again.”

“Well you deserve to always be surrounded by love baby girl.” Ali returned her smile with one of her own and let her body sink into Ashlyn’s, feeling the warmth of her wrapped around her. She felt comforted and for a moment her fears and worries slipped away, like the waves that had washed up on the beach gently slipping back into the vast ocean.

“Come on let’s head up to the deck and catch up with everyone,” Ash suggested. “Besides I think I tired this big guy out,” she added when she looked down and saw Bandit curled up, panting at her feet.

They both laughed as they made their way back to the porch, their fingers intertwined and each with a large smile plastered on their face. Ashlyn plopped down on a chair where her parents were sitting chatting with Ali’s family. After grabbing them each a drink, Ali plopped down in Ashlyn’s lap and smiled when she felt Ash adjust her weight before wrapping her arms tightly around her. She pressed a kiss into her shoulder before resting her chin there. She stayed that way for a while, carrying on a random conversation with their parents as Ali just sat back and happily watched them all interact. She was so happy that their families had blended right together and were easily carrying a conversation.

“So have you gone back to work, Alex?”

Her dad’s question pulled her from her thoughts, catching her off guard a bit. She quickly recovered and crafted her response. “Oh, um, yeah. Well kinda. I’ve been working from home for the most part, but I go in a few times a week for meetings.”

She could tell he wasn’t exactly pleased with the answer. Ken had always been a “work comes first” kind of man. “Well when do you think you’ll be heading back full time?”

She was becoming annoyed with his line of questioning, but tried to keep her cool. “I’m not sure. I just know that right now my place is with Ashlyn, making sure that she is getting the care she needs.”

“Well that’s admirable,” of you, Ashlyn’s mother interjected. “But I’m sure my Ashlyn can take care of herself,” she added with a wink.

Ali just nodded. Ash could sense her demeanor changing and gave her a reaffirming squeeze, followed by a kiss on her cheek. The last thing either of them wanted was their parents to gang up on them, but that’s exactly what was happening.

“And Ashlyn, when are you going to be back at work? Better yet, what are you thinking of doing now that your time in the army is over? Have you thought about that yet?” Ashlyn’s father questioned her pointedly.

That was when her demeanor began to change. Ali could feel her body sag away from her and her shoulders sink. She hadn’t actually thought about what she was going to be doing now that she had been honorably discharged from the army. Her focus had really just been on her recovery, but now the question was soundly planted in her mind. What was she going to do? There was no way she was going to just sit back and let Ali take care of them. She wanted to earn her own keep, make her own money to treat Ali like the princess she was. She struggled to find the words, knowing that “I don’t know” wasn’t going to be an acceptable answer. It was the only one she had at the moment though. “I don’t know.”

Her father sat back in his chair and sipped on his whiskey. “Well you should start thinking about that, honey. Let me talk to a few friends and I’ll see if I can help you out.”

“I don’t need your help, dad,” she replied, a bit angrily.  
“Ash, I know some good guys with companies out here. They might be looking for a secretary or something. I’ll talk to them and let you know.”

The thought of being a secretary and locked in an office for nine hours a day made her shudder. That exact thought was the reason she had joined the army. She didn’t want to sit behind a desk. She wanted to be outside, exploring and working towards something. “I said I don’t need your help. But thanks,” she mumbled.

“Well you can’t just sit here forever, sweetie,” her mom chimed in. “You’ve got to do something.”

Ashlyn had had it. She quickly and gently nudged Ali off of her lap. “I’m going to use the restroom,” she said before sulking away. “Excuse me.”

Their parents sat there with confused looks on their faces, clearly not realizing how they had just bombarded the women with a sensitive topic. 

Ali glared at the four of them with a scowl on her face. “Can you guys not? Is it really necessary to push her like that right now? It’s been what, three weeks since she’s been back? She was a prisoner for SIX MONTHS and you’re already pushing me to leave her and go back to work and telling her that she needs to start thinking about working again too? Jesus, you guys. You have no idea,” she hissed as her anger boiled over and her words came out hot with rage. “Sometimes I find her just staring at or holding something, like she’s trying to remember it or just convince herself that this is all real. She might be all happy and smiling around you guys, but deep down she’s battling with some demons. So before you pressure her to go back to work, can we make sure that she’s fully back with us, first?”

As she finished she noticed them all staring back incredulously at her. They hadn’t seen this side of Ali and they definitely didn’t see the tormented side of Ashlyn either. Neither of them spoke as they simply looked back and forth and each other with blank stares, unsure how to respond to her rant.

When none of them answered she finished with, “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go find my girlfriend.” Turning on her heels, she spun towards the house and left them all sitting there dumbfounded.

________

Ash walked out of the bathroom, took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair. Her racing heart had calmed a bit, but she still felt on edge. With a likely onslaught of probing questions waiting for her she wasn’t ready to go back down to the party yet so she quietly pulled open the sliding door to their balcony and took a step outside. She took in a deep breath and let the air flow deep into her lungs. After a moment she let the breath out and leaned up against the wall, careful to stay out of anyone’s eye sight. She just needed some time to herself to calm her nerves. The doctors had said recovery would take time, but the loss of ability to control her emotions had hit the worst. She took several more deep breaths as she stood transfixed on the expansive ocean that lay before her, noting that the sun was just about to drop below the horizon. Hypnotized by the brightly painted orange and pink sky and rise and fall of the waves, Ashlyn’s thoughts floated out and then drifted away with them.  
______

“Ashlyn?” Ali called again as she stepped into the living room. She had called her several times without receiving a response and now she was getting worried. She quickly scaled the stairs and checked in the office. Still no Ashlyn in sight.

After a few quick strides down the hall, she entered their bedroom. She checked in the bathroom, but didn’t see her there either. Just as she was about to head down the stairs to check outside, something caught her attention. A slight breeze was blowing across the room. She scowled, thinking that one of them had left the sliding door open this whole time, but froze when she took a step to close it.

Her eyes fell upon Ashlyn’s body as it stoically leaned against the side wall of the balcony. She couldn’t see her face, but by the way Ashlyn was silently and stilly standing, she knew she was transfixed by the ocean. She would often find her like this, sitting for hours just staring out absentmindedly at the ocean. Ali knew it calmed her, it always did and always would. That’s why she had bought the house on the beach in the first place. It was their secret little retreat. When the world got too crazy, as it often did for Ashlyn, they could withdraw into their sanctuary until it was safe to come out again.

She smiled as she looked out at Ash, admiring her figure. She had put most of the weight back on from before she was captured and although all of the muscle hadn’t returned, Ali was just glad to see her figure filled out a bit more. Ashlyn was wearing a tank top which allowed Ali’s eyes to trace her arms as well. The cuts and scrapes had all healed, leaving just some minor scars which were nearly invisible to spot through the tangle of tattoos on her arms.  
Her eyes devoured every inch of her girlfriend, from her tanned legs up to her broad shoulders and her signature, tightly wrapped bun. She looked calm as she leaned motionlessly against the wall, which drew Ali towards her even more. She smiled as she stepped out onto the balcony, eager to wrap her girlfriend up in a tight hug.

_______

Ashlyn was completely transfixed on the ocean, but it was hardly calming her. Her eyes were fixed on the waves slapping against the rocks, watching as the water flew up into the air, only to come quickly crashing down on the rocks, surrounding the birds laying there in a mist of water. As they quickly clamored to get up and fly away, only to be struck with another wave, it reminded her of something. As she watched the rhythmic ebb and flow of the waves, memories that she had fought hard to push deep down had clawed their way back up and she was suddenly transported back to a dark place.  


_“Again!” yelled a voice in Arabic as Ashlyn was gasping for air.  
_

_Two sets of rough hands grabbed her and tilted her back until she was parallel with the ground. The sopping towel was quickly pulled tight over her nose and mouth as the water began to pour down her face again. Her lungs screamed for air with a fiery rage, her eyes already bloodshot from the muffled screams trying to escape her mouth. Her mind flashed to Ali just before she thought she wouldn’t be able to stand another minute. Her smile, her lips, the way her nose crinkled when she laughed deeply, it all flashed through her mind in lighting fast snapshots. Just as she was about to blackout, another scream filled the room.  
_

_“Enough!” yelled Danny in a desperate attempt to stop the torture of his partner. “Leave her alone and I’ll tell you whatever you need to know!”_  


_The sound of boot hitting bone, echoed through the room as Danny received a hard kick to the face. He fell backwards, holding his nose which was bleeding quite a bit.  
_

_“Don’t tell these bastards a damn thing, Danny!” she sputtered as she desperately fought for air. This only enraged her captors even more.  
_

_“AGAIN!” yelled the man in charge. This time she thought for sure she would die.  
_

_Ashlyn felt the arms wrap around her again to lower her down, but this time it felt so much more real. She reacted instinctively as she had been taught in her training, turning towards her attacker and slamming them hard into the wall with all the strength she could muster. The madness consumed her as her hand slid up until it was around their neck, firmly pressing to cut off the air supply. The rage that filled her was slowly beginning to release as she felt them struggling against her grip, getting everything they deserved for what they had done to her and Danny. She squeezed her eyes shut, using every ounce of strength left to fight against her captor who was struggling for their life. All of her strength instantly left her though when her attackers pleas finally penetrated through the anger fueled haze in her mind._

“Ashlyn, please. It’s me. It’s Ali,” said a pitiful, gurgling voice.

Her eyes flew open at the familiar voice and found Ali’s wide with shock and complete fear. Her hand immediately dropped to the ground along with her jaw, while Ali’s flew up to hold her throat, which had a thick red ring around it as she coughed and gasped for air. Tears were pooling in her eyes as her entire body trembled, but it wasn’t because she was sad, she was absolutely petrified.

They stood there, both paralyzed into silence. Ashlyn struggled to find any words to apologize for what had just happened. Her mind was still caught in disbelief. It hadn’t been real. She had flashed back to being in Iraq, but then what? She didn’t even remember how she got to this point as she looked down at her two hands, unable to believe they were capable of causing Ali physical pain. It was like she had blacked out.

Ali was still terrified and in disbelief that Ashlyn had just attacked her. No words could come to her mind as she stood there trembling, tears free falling down her flushed cheeks.

Ashlyn wanted to simply disappear. The sheer terror in Ali’s eyes were enough to drive a dagger straight through her heart. What had she just done? The one person she was supposed to protect had been the one she had hurt the worst. This was a thousand times worse than being water boarded. The shocked and hurt look on Ali’s face was too much for her to handle. There was no way to come back from this. “I’m...I’m so sorry, Alex.” After awkwardly mumbling the words, she reverted back to her old self, instinctively listening to her training that had kicked in. When faced with a battle that couldn’t be won, it was time to retreat. So she did the only thing she knew how to, she ran.


	67. The Breakdown

Ashlyn groaned as she heard the car slow down behind her. She wasn’t ready to face Ali yet. Not after what she had just done.

“What are you doing? Get in the car!”

“Just leave me alone, Alex! I can’t talk to you right now!” She was trembling and tears will rolling down her cheeks as she kept walking, not even turning around to make eye contact.

The car came to a stop and she heard the door open and then quickly shut. Ali clearly wasn’t getting the hint. “I said leave me the hell alone!” She yelled it louder than she intended and cringed as the words left her lips.

“Ash what the hell happened?”

The voice wasn’t Ali’s. She turned around to find Niki staring back at her confused and a bit worried.

“Ugh,” she groaned again. Just what she needed, another person to know she was a complete failure. “What are you even doing here?”

“Uh your girlfriend invited me to your party because I’m your best friend? And I was about to head out, but couldn’t find you so I came looking for you,” she retorted with a little attitude even though she knew it was a rhetorical question.

Ash didn’t appreciate the comment and lashed out again, “Some best friend. The party isn’t even over yet and you’re leaving.” She turned her back to Niki and kept walking, her head hanging low.

Niki ran after her and placed a hand on Ashlyn’s back. She tensed up, remembering what had happened the last time someone snuck up on her, but didn’t react. “Jesus, Ash,” said Niki when she felt Ash’s entire body flinch at the contact. “What happened?”

“I don’t want to get into it, Niki,” she replied and wiped the tears from her eyes in a pathetic attempt to hide them.

Niki grabbed her arm and spun her around so that they were face to face. “I don’t know what the hell is going on with you, but I care about you too much to let you just walk off like this, especially when it’s dark out. I know something is up. Just let me in.”

Her eyes were pleading and it quickly broke Ashlyn’s resolve. She sunk to her knees in a mess of sobs, as her hands wrapped into fists around the fabric at the bottom of Niki’s pants. Niki quickly dropped down to her knees next to her and she wrapped her arms tightly around her desolate friend. “Shhhh, Ash. It’s okay babe. It’s going to be okay. Whatever happened, we can fix it, okay?”

“We can’tttt,” Ashlyn breathed out through a break in her cries. “I can never fix what I did.”

Niki had never seen Ashlyn so emotional and her insistence that it couldn’t be fixed really worried her. Ash was a fighter and for her to so easily admit defeat means that something really bad must have happened. Judging by the blank look in her eyes when she had found her, it had something to do with Ali. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” she asked as she rubbed Ashlyn’s back which was still shaking.

“I don’t even know where to start,” she got out. It was the truth. How do you tell your best friend that you strangled your girlfriend because you had a flashback to being tortured in Iraq?

“Just start from the beginning. The very beginning.”

She held Ashlyn and encouraged her to take deep breaths to calm herself. Finally, she had reduced the sobs to tears and the trembling had all but faded away, though her hands were still shaky. She started from the beginning and told Niki how their parents had upset her and how she had left to cool off and then found herself just staring out in the ocean. Niki listened intently, still not sure where this was going. Her face tightened though when Ash began talking about her flashback.

“Wait, what?” she interrupted, hoping that she hadn’t heard her correctly.

“They were water boarding me,” she said slowly and hoped that it would sink it this time. It did, and she felt Niki squeeze her tighter and nod for her to go on. “And it was like...it was like I was there. I was back there and I felt it all. It was so real, Nik. They went to do it again, but this time I fought back. I fought back and pinned them against the wall by their throat, only that time it actually was real. It was Ali...It felt so real...I just...I...” The tears began again as she trailed off, her words turning into a gaggle of mumbles and nonsense. 

“What do you mean it was Ali?” Niki asked as she let go to look Ashlyn in the eyes, searching for an explanation and hoping it wasn’t the one she thought she was going to get.

“I was in the flashback, but Ali had come up behind me to bring me back to the party. It felt so real and they were trying to torture me and I just fought back. Her voice tore me out of it and when I opened my eyes...she was there...pinned to the wall by my hands. My hands were around her throat, Niki! What the fuck is wrong with me? You should have seen the look on her face. She was...she was afraid of me. Absolutely terrified. How did I do that to her, Niki? I love her so much. How could I do that to her?” Her voice was frantic as she pleaded desperately for answers from her friend.

Niki didn’t even know how to respond. Ashlyn was right. She didn’t know if this was something they could fix. “Baby it’s okay.” She wrapped her arms tighter around her to buy herself some more time to think of a response. “What happened after you realized it was Ali? What did she say?”

“Nothing,” Ashlyn whispered sadly. “She said nothing. She just held her throat and looked at me with these terrified eyes. I couldn’t even form a sentence, Nik. I just said I’m sorry and ran. I just left her there.” She held her face in her hand and pulled away a bit from Niki. She didn’t deserve anyone’s comfort. Not after what she had done. Not after she had just left Ali there with nothing more than an “I’m sorry.”  
“Ash you need to go talk to her. You can’t just run for this.”

“Why not? I don’t think I can ever look her in the eyes again knowing I did what I did to her. I’ve never seen someone look at me like that. Like...like I was a monster or something. It’s better for her if I just leave.”

“Don’t you think she deserves a say in that?” Niki knew Ashlyn’s defense mechanism was to run, but she wasn’t going to let her get off so easy. If Ali had stayed with her through everything and fought for them to be together, then it was time for Ashlyn to do the same.

She was taken aback by Niki’s statement. “I think I can tell what’s best for her and I’m not it. I’m a mess, Niki.”

“So get some help. Go talk to someone and figure your shit out. But don’t think you can just push her away and justify it by saying it’s in her best interest. She wants you and nothing but you, Ashlyn. You can’t do that if you’re not yourself. So do something about it. Show her you’re serious about getting better.”

“You mean like see a therapist?” she asked with an attitude.

“Yes.”

“How is that even going to help?” The last thing she wanted to do was relive everything all over again, especially when she had worked so hard to bury the memories deep down.

“You and I both know that you’re go to defense is to just run, but you can’t do that. You need to deal with this stuff or it’s going to tear you and your relationship with Ali apart.”

Ash sighed and shook her head. “Even if that helps, I don’t even know what to say to her. And all those people are at our house too.” Her shoulders slumped. “What if she doesn’t forgive me? I can’t blame her because I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive myself either.”

Niki could sense that Ashlyn already felt defeated so she pulled her in for another reassuring hug. “You need to think about her first and foremost. You have to face her and apologize. Then show her that you’re making an effort to get better and hope that you two can overcome all of this. That’s all you can do, hun.”

Ashlyn roughly rubbed the back of her neck with her hand. She knew Niki was right and that she had to face Ali. “You’re right. You think you could take me back to the party? And maybe grab Ali for me when we get there? I don’t want to face everyone else yet.” She didn’t think she could bring herself to look Ali’s family and friends in the eyes after what she had done and a shudder shot up her spine as she thought to the fact that Ali might have even told them what happened, not being able to hide her hurt look. Ashlyn shook her head and hoped that wasn’t the case. Winning Ali’s trust back was going to be hard enough. She didn’t even want to know what everyone else would think about her if they found out what happened to.

“Of course I’ll take you back. The sooner you do this, the better,” she said with a reassuring smile when Ashlyn looked up at her.

“Thanks, Nik. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I’m sure Ali thinks the same about you. No matter what happened.”

Her words were true which is what made Ashlyn even more afraid. What if one day, they truly had to face the fact that their relationship couldn’t be repaired? What if one day they finally had to learn what life was like without the other? The thought absolutely terrified her.


	68. The Darkest Hour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You get two chapters tonight because you're all so awesome :)

Ashlyn kept her eyes glued to the ground when she heard the door creak open. She couldn’t bring herself to lift her gaze and meet Ali’s eyes. She heard feet shuffling through the room and then felt the bed dip to the left of her, but there was no comforting contact that followed it. There was only silence. They sat there quietly for a moment, until Ali’s voice finally broke through the still air.

“Niki said you wanted to talk to me?”

Ash looked down at her hands, still in disbelief at what they were capable of doing. She had always known they were fully able to take out the enemies, but never her loved ones. She had racked her mind the entire drive back coming up with what she was going to say to Ali, but it had all flown out the window as she just stared at the hands that just hours before had been showing Ali exactly how much she loved her.

“Ashlyn,” the voice came again and this time it sent shivers down her spine. It was pleading, like when she had been pleading for Ash to let her go.

She dropped her hands to her side and hung her head in shame. “I don’t even know where to start besides to tell you how extremely sorry I am for what I did, Alex. I love you more than anything in this world and the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you.” She held her breath and waited for a response.

“Ash, what happened?”

Her voice wasn’t mad or angry. It was coming from a place of pain and hurt, which drove the dagger into Ashlyn’s heart even deeper. She could take the anger and screaming, but this was something completely different. They had never had a fight like this. It felt so foreign to her and she struggled to process everything as her heart began to race. “I...I don’t know.” There was so much more she wanted to tell her, but she just couldn’t bring herself to say the words.

Ali scooted a bit closer, but still refrained from any contact. “If this is ever going to be fixed and work you need to be honest with me. You can’t keep everything locked away and think it’s going to be okay because obviously it’s not.”

The words gave Ash slight encouragement. She could tell that Ali wasn’t ready to completely dismiss her, at least not yet. It was also a warning shot though and she knew she needed to come clean. She had held everything in so deep for so long trying to protect her girl from it, but it only ended up causing more hurt than she could have ever imagined.

“I was having a flashback,” she began before pausing to see if Ali would have a response. She didn’t so Ashlyn continued, “I had a flashback...to when I was...when I was being tortured.” She heard Ali let out a slight gasp, but continued on. Once she started there was no stopping. “I don’t know what it was, but looking out at the water and watching it crash onto the rocks and spray up it reminded me of being water boarded. I wasn’t here, I was back there suddenly with Danny and they were torturing me for information. It felt, it felt so real. And then I felt you, well what I thought was them grab me and I fought back. I didn’t realize until I heard your voice. It wasn’t me, it was like something took over me. I was back there and then suddenly here again. It felt so real, baby. I was scared. This one was worse than the other ones. It really felt like I was there and-”

“The other ones?” Ali angrily questioned.

“Yeah...”

“This has been happening since you’ve been home?” It was phrased as a question, but Ash knew it was more of a statement as Ali realized how big the issue really was. “Ash, this has been happening repeatedly and you never said anything?” She was heated now.

“I didn’t want to scare you. I was trying to protect you!” The anger in Ali’s voice had sparked her defensive side to wake up and fight back.

“And how did that end up working out? Jesus, Ashlyn did you really think you could just keep this hidden deep down?”

“I don’t know. I just...I’m sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen.” She finally brought her eyes up to meet Ali’s piercing stare and instantly wished she hadn’t. There was no life in them, they were just hollow pools surrounded by a red, puffy shell from the crying she had been doing. “I’m so sorry Alex.” She reached her hand out, but Ali instantly flinched and jerked away. Ash could see the fear in her eyes and all of her strength quickly drained out of her. Ali was actually scared of her. She didn’t think there could be a worse feeling in the entire world. 

Ali could tell that she was upsetting Ashlyn, but she couldn’t just sit back and pretend that this could be so easily fixed. She was still partially in shock and afraid that Ash could snap again. As much as it hurt to see her struggle, she fought the urge to wrap her up in her arms and tell her it would all be okay, because for the first time in their relationship she actually wasn’t sure that it would be.

Ashlyn could hear the gears in Ali’s head turning as she calculated how to approach the situation. It wasn’t something that either of them had any experience dealing with before. Usually their fights were solved with a reassuring glance or a gentle arm rub was used to break the tension. This time was different though because Ashlyn couldn’t bear to look Ali in the eyes and Ali had instinctively drawn back from any physical contact, rightfully so.

“Just tell me what you want me to do,” Ash breathed out in a defeated whisper. She couldn’t bear the silence anymore.

Ali sighed and dropped her face into her hands. She could still feel the stinging around her neck where Ashlyn had been choking her before. It still burned, physically and mentally. “I don’t know, Ash. I really don’t know. You need help, like professional help.” She didn’t want to bring it up at that moment, but it was the truth and they both needed to start being honest with each other. “As much as I want to, I can’t help you with this. This is bigger than you and I. I love you and I just want you to be okay, but I don’t think I can do that on my own. What just happened...” she paused as she fiddled with the hoodie she had thrown on after Ash left to cover the redness, “can absolutely never happen again. It just can’t.”

“And it won’t babe. I promise!” Ashlyn emphatically stated as she turned and looked back up at Ali. “I swear it will never happen again.”

“You can’t promise that. You can’t. These memories and fears that you’ve housed deep down are bound to come up again if you don’t do anything to work through them. You’re the strongest person I know, but even you can’t fight these demons on your own.”

Large tears were rolling down Ash’s cheeks as she heard her girlfriend’s words loud and clear. She was right. “I know. You’re one hundred percent right. On the way back here Niki made me call the VA and they set up an appointment for me to talk to someone tomorrow morning. I just wish I would have done it sooner. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. That’s something I didn’t even think I was capable of.”

“Well I guess you’re capable of more than you think,” Ali coldly stated as she folded her hands in her lap. “I’m glad you’re going to talk to someone. I think it will be good for you. It’ll be good for you to get your mind right.”

Ashlyn shrank back a bit as she analyzed Ali’s detached statement. Throughout it all she never admitted it would be good for them, just her. Was there even a them anymore? She didn’t want to ask, but couldn’t bear it anymore. “So what does this all mean for us?” When Ali didn’t immediately answered, she quickly added, “I can pack a bag and go stay somewhere for a while if you need some space.”

She breathed a sigh of relief when Ali immediately responded, “No that’s not necessary,” but her heart sank when she added, “I’ll go stay somewhere else.”

She had definitely not expected that answer. Her mind was racing, screaming inside for answers, but she kept a cool demeanor trying to convince Ali that she was in control of her emotions. “Oh...okay. I mean...” she was fumbling over her words, still in shock at her answer. “I can go. It’s really okay. This is your house and all.”

Ali quickly corrected her trying to give her some semblance of comfort. “It’s our house. You just got settled back in here and shouldn’t have to leave again. It’s probably best if you don’t get uprooted again. I’ll leave Bandit too so you can have some company.”

“If this is our house, does that mean there’s still an us?” She was grasping desperately for some confirmation from Ali, but was struggling to find any. It was a last ditch effort and it failed miserably.

“I just need time, Ashlyn. I love you. I love you so much, but I need time to process all of this too. If I’m going to help you get better, I can’t be afraid and walking on eggshells around you all the time. I need to get my mind right too.”

“You’re...you’re scared of me?” She had suspected it, but never in a million years thought Ali would outright say it. It made her flashback to Rodriguez and his outbursts. He had always gotten himself under control, until he no longer could and just snapped, attacking his wife and children. She was afraid for herself that that would happen to her, but she was more so terrified that she would actually prove Ali’s fears right and do something that she could never take back. This was bad enough, but it made her realize that maybe Ali’s fears were warranted because it actually could get worse.

“No, I’m...that’s...that’s not what I meant. I’m not afraid of you.” Ashlyn’s story of Rodriguez was seared into her mind at the moment too, and she swallowed hard before continuing. “But I can’t pretend there’s not some part of me that worries that could happen again or god forbid something even worse. I can’t sit back and act like nothing happened and it’s not fair to ask me to do that either.”

“I’m not asking you to,” Ash mumbled. She was so disheartened and just wanted to fade away and disappear. 

Ali sighed. This conversation wasn’t going anywhere. At least not that night anyways. “Why don’t we go out and say goodbye to everyone. The party is dying down and we should see everyone out.”

She said with a sense of finality that told Ashlyn not to argue. After everything she had just done she was just going to comply and give Ali whatever she wanted. “Yeah, okay. If anyone wants to stay, just tell them that I’m not feeling well.”

They stood and walked out of the room. They made their way awkwardly out to the few guests that remained, refraining from having any physical contact. The sun had set long ago and most everyone was standing huddled by a fire that Ash had built on the beach a few hours earlier. They could make out six or seven silhouettes and strutted over to say their goodbyes. Ali and Ashlyn’s parents were the first to leave and they both made sure to apologize for upsetting Ashlyn, thinking that’s why she had been gone for the last forty-five minutes. Ali just smiled, nodded and mouthed “it’s okay” as she gave them all tight hugs. She didn’t feel like getting into details and really just wanted to call it a night. After another half an hour Ali finally ushered out the last guest, Kyle, only after promising him repeatedly that she would give him a call in the morning. He knew something was up, but decided to let her off the hook for the night.

She let out a sigh as she closed the door. Taking a moment of peace to herself, she leaned her back up against the door and stood there with her eyes closed for a few minutes. She hadn't realized how tired she was as her mind quickly began to drift away. Ashlyn’s voice pulled her from her thoughts and she jolted up from the door.

“I’m going to clean up out back a bit, okay?”

Ali nodded. “Yeah. I’m gonna head upstairs and change. I’m exhausted.”

Ash gave her a slight, forced smile before turning and heading back down towards the beach.

Forty-five minutes later she made her way upstairs, ready to change and sink into bed herself. She secretly hoped that Ali had been too tired to pack, but her hopes were quickly abashed when her eyes immediately dropped to the duffel bag that was laying on the ground and the business clothes that were sitting on the bed. Ali really was leaving. She didn’t think she could feel any worse, but she was wrong. Out of the corner of her eye she caught movement in the mirror and turned to focus her attention. Ali was changing out of her party clothes and into sweatpants and with no bra on had just started to slip a t-shirt over her head. A sight that normally would have aroused her did the exact opposite when her gaze fell to the red marks on Ali’s neck. The red marks that she had put there.

She quickly averted her gaze and composed herself before knocking on the door. She didn’t know why she was knocking in her own house, but she felt so disconnected and distant from everything that it felt like the logical thing to do at the moment. Ali looked up as she walked out of the bathroom and threw a small bag into the duffel bag before zipping it closed.

“Want me to help you take this out to the car?” Ashlyn asked. She was trying to be polite even though she really wanted Ali to stay. She needed her.

“No it’s okay. Thank you though.”

The formality of the conversation was killing Ash. This wasn’t Ali. This wasn’t them. They weren't like this, ever. “Oh. Okay then. I’ll walk you out.”

Ali gave her a polite smile and grabbed the clothes off the bed after she slung her duffel bag strap over her shoulder. She followed Ashlyn, thanking her when she opened up the front door for her. After she threw her bag and clothes in the back seat she slammed the door shut and looked up at Ashlyn who watched her as she walked around to driver’s side door and got in.

Ashlyn came by and leaned on her elbows on the door as she looked down at Ali who was uncharacteristically biting her cheek nervously. “Well, I guess I’ll...I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah. Goodluck with your appointment tomorrow. I really hope it goes well.”

“Can I call after?”

Ali looked up at her a bit shocked. “Of course you can call. I’m not leaving you, Ashlyn. I just need some time and space. We can still talk and hang out, but I just need a break from all of this so I can get my mind right.” As she spoke the words she knew it was a lie. All she wanted was for Ashlyn to grab her from the car and hold her and promise her it would all be okay. She was always the one promising that to Ashlyn, but not she needed to hear it. Now she was damaged too and needed someone to hold her, to fight for her, but she didn’t want to push it. It needed to be on Ashlyn’s schedule. Her recovery was all that mattered to Ali.

The words “I need a break” coming from Ali’s mouth were all that Ashlyn caught from her entire statement and quickly depleted any resolve that she had left. She wanted nothing more than to drop to her knees and beg Ali to stay, to pull her from the car and shower her with kisses and all of the love that she deserved, but this is what Ali wanted. If Ali wanted it she was going to get it. “Yeah okay. I understand.” Her head dropped and shoulders sagged as she agreed to Ali’s wishes. “Drive safe, okay?”

Ali nodded and felt her heart drop as Ashlyn closed the door soundly behind her. Their gaze met in the rearview mirror as Ali pulled out of the driveway and onto the road. It was all either of them could do to hold it together until they were out of sight. As Ali’s car roared down the road, they both dissolved into a mess of tears that only the other could fix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life has taught me that things often get worse before they get better so hang in there everyone!


	69. The Help

“And then what happened after that?”

Ashlyn sat back in the chair, nervously shifting her weight as she looked at the man sitting in front of her. He was in his early fifties with a head of white hair which poked out over the frames of his glasses that were tucked behind his ears. Dr. Freed was his name and he had been working at the VA with veterans for almost twenty years after having served in the military himself for over ten years. She found it strange that she had been so comfortable around him from the start and thought it had something to do with him being a fellow vet. He wasn’t just some doctor that was going to try to psychoanalyze her, he was actually trying to understand her and was able to do so because he had experienced similar things when he was in the service. Still, as much as she related to him, the next part of the story wasn’t an easy one to tell. It brought back memories that she had struggled the hardest against to keep buried deep down.

He looked at Ashlyn over the brim of his glasses and gave her a warm smile when he noticed her nervous behavior. “Ashlyn, you’re safe here. This is a safe place, but for this type of therapy to work we need to confront your fears head on. Why don’t you take a minute and when you’re ready you can continue.”

Ash nodded as she nervously bit the side of her cheek. She took a few deep breaths to try to slow her racing heart and then looked up at the doctor who was still smiling back at her. “Okay. I’m ready.” He nodded so she continued on with the story. “Then Danny screamed and they kicked him. There was blood everywhere. It just...it splattered out of his nose onto the wall behind him and I could hear him screaming. His screams haunt me. I yelled for him not to say anything else though. I didn’t want him to get hurt because of me. I was the one with the information they needed. Well that didn’t sit well with them and they lowered me down again. I still hadn’t caught my breath from the last time and I remember struggling against the restraints they had tied me to the chair with. My wrists were raw from fighting against it and I could feel the ropes around my ankles give a bit, but it wasn’t enough. It was never enough. I could feel the water in my lungs. They were still burning and I didn’t think I could survive another time. I honestly just wanted to die. They pulled the towel tight and started...” she looked down at her hands which she was awkwardly fiddling with. “They started pouring the water again. It was even longer this time. And I...I couldn’t catch my breath. It was like I was trying to scream, but it was all muffled because of the towel and the water and I just...I couldn’t breathe. My lungs were screaming for it, my brain was screaming for it. I didn’t think I could bear another minute of it. Everything started to get foggy and I just felt so…so distant. I thought I was going to die right then and there. I really did. And honestly I just wanted it to end. I wanted it to end right there.”

The doctor was nodding and giving her a reassuring glance. “And what do you think scares you the most out of that experience? Do you think it was the feeling of drowning?”

“I mean the feeling of drowning was pretty awful, but I think what scares me the most if that I was just willing to give up. It’s scary to think that I was pushed so far that I literally wanted to just end it all. I gave up on myself. I gave up on Danny. I gave up on getting home to Ali.” She shuddered at the last part, thinking how close she had really come to just letting herself go and about how much she had almost lost because she lost her will to fight. After a distressed sigh she continued, “I was willing to accept failure and even death and that’s not who I am. It changed me and I’m worried that after giving up in that moment, that I’ll never be able to forgive myself and truly get back from it.”

“Well no one expects you to come back from that all unchanged. It was a harrowing experience that you were forced to endure. I don’t think you gave up though. I think you thought about it, but obviously chose to keep fighting. You sitting in this chair in front of me right now is a testament to your strength and resilience.” He leaned forward and gently placed a hand on her knee, “I don’t think you quit on yourself or on anyone else for that matter. You’re a fighter, Ashlyn and here you are in my office, still fighting to get back. I think that’s commendable. Don’t you?”

Ash thought on his words for a moment. She realized she hadn’t thought about it from that standpoint and his words resonated in her mind. “I guess you’re right. But what if I never get back, doc? I know buddies from my tours that were never able to beat their demons.”

Dr. Freed sat back and crossed his legs. He tapped his pen against his knee before looking back up at her. “Everyone is different. Yes it’s true that some people never fully come back, but I believe in you and I believe in this process, Ashlyn. If you give me your all and really work with me, you’ll come out on the right end of this. I promise I’ll do everything on my end to try to make that a reality. Promise me that you won’t give up on me or yourself during this process and we’ll get you back, Ashlyn. Okay?”

She nodded, not even having to think about it. After talking to him once she already felt a bit better and she was optimistic that at the end of her nine week program, she would be feeling much more like her old self. She wasn’t allowing the doubts to creep in. She wasn’t going to give up on herself ever again. “I promise.”

“Okay, then. I guess we have a deal.” He leaned forward again and extended his hand for her to shake.

Ash grasped it firmly and shook it, a slight smile tucking into the corner of her mouth. “Deal.”

“Well then. I guess I’ll see you next week unless you have anything else you wanted to talk about before we finished up.”

Ashlyn sat back in her chair as the smile quickly fell from her lips. As much as she didn’t want to mention what had happened with Ali, she really needed his professional advice on how to approach her and her other loved ones. “Well there is one thing...”

“I’m all ears,” he said as he adjusted in his chair to get comfortable again.

It took Ash about five minutes to explain everything that had happened the night before and how they had left things off. As she was speaking she carefully studied his face for a reaction. None came and she exasperatedly sat back when she finished to wait for him to answer.

“That is very serious, Miss Harris. I’m guessing that’s the only reason you’re in here today?”

She shamefully nodded, thinking that he immediately thought less of her.

“Well regardless of what brought you in today, I’m glad you came in. I think it might help if Ali came in for one of your sessions. A lot of times loved ones play a large role in our recovery and it might be beneficial for both of you if she sits through our next session.”

“Really?” Ashlyn said with a surprised tone.

“Yes if that’s something you want. If you would like you could offer to let her come to our session next week. Don’t put too much weight on her answer though. Sometimes it’s too hard for them or it makes them uncomfortable. She’s more than welcome, but don’t take it the wrong way if she chooses not to.”

Ash nodded in understanding. “Yeah I’ll ask her. I’m sure she’d love to come, but if not I wouldn’t hold it against her. After everything I’ve put her through I’d give her anything she wants or do anything she asked.”

The doctor furrowed his brow a bit at her statement and Ashlyn immediately stopped chuckling at her own joke. “Just make sure that you do what’s best for you as well, Ashlyn. Just because you’ve put her through pain doesn’t mean that she should maintain sole control of decision making. This is a critical time in your recovery and you need to look out for yourself as well. What you need right now is stability and support. If she can’t give you that right now, then this might not be the best time to try and repair your relationship.”

Again Ash nodded in amazement at how profound his statement was. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, his statement was true. Ali couldn’t be the one calling all of the shots, especially when she didn’t even know where they really stood. There was no way she could deal with them going back and forth fighting while she was trying to get her mind right. She needed to get some answers and she needed them soon. “Yeah, I’ll talk to her,” was all she said in reply. “Thanks for taking the time to meet with me today.”

Dr. Freed stood up and shook her hand again. “Of course. It was a pleasure to meet you, though I wish it were under better circumstances. I’ll see you next Monday. Janet will set the appointment time up on your way out. And don’t forget to work on the breathing and relaxation exercises that we went over today. If you feel an episode coming on, just focus on those exercises and try to calm your mind and body. Most of our fears are really a result of biological stimuli, just remember that.”

Ashlyn nodded and smiled as he held the door open for her. “Thanks again,” she called over her shoulder as she made her way into the lobby. She quickly scheduled her appointment for noon the next Monday in anticipation that Ali would be able to join her during her lunch break. On her way out to her car she pulled her phone out. She frowned a bit when there was no call or message from Ali, but she figured she was probably busy at work. She dialed her number and held her breath while waiting for an answer. None came so she left a brief message for her to call her back and then tossed her phone on the empty passenger seat next to her. 

_________

Just as Ali went to grab her phone to answer it, Parker strolled into her office and immediately made a stink face. “Oh god, you look like crap, Ali. What happened?”

“Nothing Parker. Just some stuff Ash and I are going through. I didn’t stay there last night and didn’t exactly have anywhere to get ready for work,” she responded in a tired voice.

His confused face quickly turned to shock when his eyes traced the room and landed on her couch which had a crinkled up hoodie at one end and a duffel bag lying on the other side on the floor. “Did...did you sleep here last night?” he asked with deep concern in his voice.

Ali groaned and nodded as she dropped her head into her hands.

“Ali, what the hell happened?”

“Nothing I can’t handle on my own, Parker,” she replied and looked away. She really wasn’t in the mood to get into everything.

He took a couple steps into the room and gently closed the door behind him. “Ali if you need somewhere to stay you can crash at my place. You shouldn’t have to sleep on the couch in your office.”

“Thanks for the offer Parker, but I have somewhere else to stay tonight.” She lied and hoped he took the bait, adding, “It was so late when I left last night I didn’t want to bother anyone,” for effect.

He looked skeptically back at her but bought the lie for the moment. “Alright, but if I find you passed out on that couch tomorrow morning I’m dragging you back to my house when I leave. Got it?”

She rolled her eyes and nodded. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have some work to get back to.” It was a joke and the sass in her voice caused Parker to chuckle.

“You doing work? That must be something new,” he teased on his way out the door. “Take care of yourself girl,” he called out as he swung the door closed behind him.

Just as Ali went to grab her phone to see who called, Carli came bustling into the office. “Miss Krieger, you have an urgent call on line 6. It’s a potential new client. The Mayor’s son may have gotten himself into some legal trouble...again,” she added crossly.

Ali groaned and thanked Carli before picking up the line. As she began talking, the missed phone call slipped further and further from her memory.

________

Five hours later, Ashlyn still hadn’t heard back from Ali and was starting to get upset. She had told her she was going back to therapy that morning and it bothered her that Ali obviously didn’t care enough to return a phone call. Even a quick text message would have been nice if she was really that busy with work. She decided to call her again and see if she could get through this time.

“Hello?” came Ali’s voice from the other end of the line.

“Hey...it’s me.”

“How are you doing today?” asked Ali when Ashlyn failed to say anything else.

“I’m alright. What are you up to?”

“I’m just at lunch with Whit catching up. What about you?” She mouthed “it’s Ashlyn” to Whit who knowingly nodded back and turned her attention to her own phone to catch up on emails while Ali talked with Ashlyn.

Everything that Ali just said had bothered her. She was out chit chatting with Whit and hadn’t even called her back yet. However, what she didn’t say bothered her even more. She hadn’t even bothered to ask how her therapy session went. Did she really care that little?

“I’m just at home watching some TV...”

Ali waited for more, but none came. She couldn’t figure out why Ash was being so short. She had wanted to ask about therapy, but didn’t know the best way to approach it, and figured it would be better to wait for Ashlyn to bring it up on her own time. “Oh that’s good.”

Ash was getting more irritated by the minute. “Were you really that busy that you couldn’t call me back?”

“Huh?” Ali replied, confused by both her statement and her angry tone. Then the missed call crossed her mind again and she groaned. “Oh that was you that called earlier? I’m so sorry. Things got crazy at work and I honestly forgot I missed a call. I’m sorry,” she added again trying to calm Ashlyn’s anger. “What were you calling about?”

Ashlyn could feel herself getting angry and took a few calming breaths like Dr. Freed had instructed her to do. It worked a little and she was able to slow her heart a bit. “I just wanted to talk about my appointment with you. It went pretty well.”

“Oh well that’s good. I’m glad to hear that!” She was genuinely glad and hoped her tone conveyed it.

“Yeah...so...do you maybe want to get dinner tonight and we can talk about it?” She held her breath.

“Oh...tonight? I have some stuff I have to take care of at work. It’s going to be a late one here tonight. Sorry, Ashlyn.” Part of it was the truth, but the other part was that she really wasn’t ready to see Ashlyn yet after everything. She felt bad, but knew she needed to take care of herself too.

“Oh. Okay.” She could tell from the way Ali’s voice cracked that she was lying and just didn’t want to see her. “Well maybe another night then,” she offered, hoping that Ali would suggest something.

“Yeah sounds good,” she said flatly.

This was not going how Ash had anticipated. Even though Ali had promised the night before that she wasn’t going anywhere, she sure felt pretty distant. Her promise that they could still talk and hang out seemed to be a bit of a lie as well. Deciding to pull out all the stops, she jumped right to what she really wanted to ask. “Hey, I know you’re busy with work and stuff, but the doctor suggested that it might be a good idea for you to come to one of my sessions. He suggested next Monday at noon...” she held her breath again hoping that she would agree.

“Oh...um. Are you sure?”

Her hesitation killed Ashlyn. “Yes I’m sure. Only if you want to though,” she added, thinking Dr. Freed would be proud that she wasn’t holding it against her.

“Well then yeah I’d love to. You said noon on Monday?”

Ash smiled for the first time that conversation and answered, “Yeah noon.”

“Okay I’ll see you then.”

Even though she was put off that Ali said it as if it was the next time they’d be seeing each other, she was glad she had agreed to it in the first place. It was a good step for both of them and Ali did seem genuinely interested in going with her. “Great. I’ll pick you up at 11:30 then.” She quickly added the last part before hanging up so that if worse came to worst and they didn’t see each other before that, she would at least be guaranteed a bit of alone time in the car.

“Sounds good,” Ali got out. “Love you,” she added.

Ashlyn smiled at the words, even though they seemed rushed. “I love you too, Alex.”


	70. The Date

Ali grabbed the phone after she finished slipping her shorts over her hips. “Hey. What’s up?”

A smile immediately crept over Ashlyn’s face when she heard her voice on the other end. “Just calling to make sure we’re still on for dinner tonight?” she asked nervously. It had been a few days since she had seen Ali and she was beginning to ache at her absence.

“Yep I’m just finishing up getting ready.”

“Oh so it’ll be another hour then?” Ashlyn teased.

“Ha ha ha so funny, Ash. No I just have to do my hair and then I’ll be ready. You said casual right? Cuz I’m wearing shorts and a white tee and really don’t feel like changing.”

“Yeah casual is fine. But I’m sure you’d look great no matter what you’re wearing.” She knew it sounded corny, but really did mean it.

“Mhmm,” she hummed. “Thanks babe.”

“So if I left now to pick you up would that give you enough time to get ready?”

There was silence on the other end of the line before Ali responded. “Um...how about I just meet you there?”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind swinging by Kyle or Whit’s or wherever you are.” She assumed Ali was at one of those places, well at least she hoped she was. She really didn’t want to consider the other possibility.

“No it’s okay, thanks for the offer though. I’ll meet you there in twenty minutes. Just text me the address.” Ali was trying everything to avoid a fight, knowing that Ash would definitely not approve of where she was staying for the time being. It was only temporary and not worth the fight, so she decided meeting her at the restaurant would be a much better idea.

Ashlyn took a deep breath to calm her spiking heart rate. She had a sinking suspicion that Ali was hiding something from her, but was honestly just glad to be able to see her. They had talked on the phone the last few nights, but more than anything she just wanted to see her face. It wasn’t worth getting angry when she didn’t know for a fact that Ali was hiding anything. “Okay. I’ll send you the address. See you in a bit babe.”

Ali breathed a sigh of relief that Ash hadn’t decided to push the subject any further. She tossed her phone on the bed and then slipped a white t-shirt over her head that she grabbed from her bag. After throwing her hair up into a messy bun and deciding she looked good enough in the mirror, she grabbed her keys off the table and tugged the door shut behind her.

“Have a good evening Miss Krieger,” said a familiar voice from across the lobby.

“Thanks you too!” she replied with a smile before entering the parking garage and slipping into her BMW. 

Twenty minutes later, Ali pulled into the parking lot. She saw Ashlyn’s empty Jeep sitting a few spots down and knew that she must already be there waiting. Ali took a few deep breaths, trying to ease her nerves. She didn’t know why, but her heart had been racing the entire way there and she couldn’t shake the nerves that permeated through her body, coming to rest in the pit of her stomach. They had been to dinner together so many times, but this felt different. So much had happened and even though they had talked the last few nights, it felt like some strange aurora hung over them and the conversations were almost superficial. Ali couldn’t get rid of the anxious feeling that was causing her hands to shake so she clenched and unclenched them a few times to try and relax, convincing herself that this wasn’t a first date and she had nothing to worry about. After a few more deeps breaths she pulled the keys from the ignition and stepped out of the car. It was now or never.

Ashlyn’s face lit up the moment she saw Ali stepping into the restaurant. Their eyes met and they both smiled, feeling the tension ease as they did. Ali came and sidled up next to Ashlyn at the bar. “Hey you,” she said with a genuine smile as she adjusted her weight on the bar stool. “How have you been?”

“Good. I’ve been good, Alex. My first appointment went really well and I’m excited to go back next week. I really think it’ll help. I already feel somewhat better getting some of it out.”

Ali was sincerely glad that Ashlyn was so positively talking about her experience at therapy. She could already see a little more light behind her eyes that had been missing since she returned home. She smiled and responded, “That’s great babe. I’m really glad you’re getting the help you need.”

“Thank you. And thank you for sticking with me through all of this. I can’t even put into words how much your support has meant to me. I’m sorry.” Her eyes lifted from her drink and met Ali’s with a fierce sincerity.

Ali smiled back at her. “You getting better has always been my number one priority, Ash. I know that wasn’t you that night. That doesn’t mean it still didn’t scare me, but I know that wasn’t you.”

Her head dropped back down as she fiddled with the straw in her drink. “I just don’t know if I can ever forgive myself,” she mumbled quietly.

“If I can forgive you, then you can forgive yourself. Just continue to prove to me that you’re serious about making this better like you have been and we won’t have any problems, okay?”

Ali looked over at her reassuringly, but it bothered Ashlyn that there was no comforting touch to follow. Had Ali really forgiven her? “If you’ve forgiven me does that mean you’ll move back in?”

The tense mood quickly settled back in as Ali averted her gaze. “I’m...I’m not ready to do that yet, Ashlyn.”

“Well then you haven’t forgiven me,” she quickly replied.

“That’s not it,” said Ali, frustrated that Ash was pushing her so much. “I can’t explain it, but I’m just not ready to yet. Can’t we just enjoy tonight without jumping into this conversation every five minutes? Please, Ashlyn.” Her voice was pleading and Ash knew it was best to let the subject drop for the time being.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. Want to head to our table? I got them to save that spot on the patio you love so much.” She looked proudly back at Ali who smiled back.

“Sounds like a plan. Let me get a drink first. Is that a Jack and Coke? That sounds good.”

“It’s just a Coke. My doctor said it would be best to avoid alcohol.” Ash shrugged her shoulders and signaled the bartender over. “Can I have a refill on my Coke and a Jack and Coke for the lady?”

He nodded and retreated to fill their order while Ali stared proudly back at Ashlyn. She could tell Ash was really making an effort because she always had a drink with dinner. It was comforting to see that she was making every effort possible to get back. Ali grabbed the drink the bartender set down before her and thanked Ashlyn when she slipped a few bills on the bar to cover their drinks.

Ash pulled Ali’s chair out for her when they got to the table and they quickly settled into comfortable conversation after ordering their food. They talked about work and Ashlyn’s session and Ashlyn was beaming when she discussed this new trick she had taught Bandit the other day. Ali sat back and smiled, allowing Ashlyn to control most of the conversation. She enjoyed listening to her tell stories and relished seeing her goofy side come out a few times. When their food came out, the conversation slowed a bit as they enjoyed their meals.

“Wooo that was good,” said Ash as she tossed her napkin on her empty plate. “Man I missed this place.”

Ali smiled back up at her. “Yeah we used to come here all the time. Kyle loves this place and dragged me here all the time while you were overseas,” she added with an eye roll.

“How is Kyle by the way?” questioned Ashlyn with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m assuming he’s doing well. I haven’t talked to him in a few days though. Last I heard he had some famous client coming in that he was really excited about.” Ali innocently went on to finish the last few bites of her dinner, missing Ashlyn’s demeanor change slightly.

“We should get together with him soon. It was really nice having everyone over this weekend. I missed your brother and Whit and all them.”

Ali pulled her fork out of her mouth and looked back up at Ashlyn. “Yeah it was nice to have everyone get together. Whit was just telling me today how much she misses you too!”

Ash's heart fluttered a bit when Ali brought up Whit on her own, especially noting that they had just talked. “Yeah how is she? Maybe we could all get together this week?”

“Yeah I should call her tomorrow and set something up. She’s been bugging me about watching this new show on Netflix though and I think she’s just going to show up one night and force me to watch it. You know how impatient she gets!” said Ali as she erupted into giggles. She looked up to find Ashlyn was not laughing and instead looked rather upset. “What is it?” she asked in a confused tone.

Ashlyn wasn’t dumb. She could solve the riddle. Ali hadn’t talked to Kyle in a few days and Whit was threatening to just ‘come over’ to watch their show which meant she wasn’t staying with either of them that week, and that could only mean one thing. She bit her lip to control the words that were fighting to spill out. “Nothing. Nothing is wrong,” she said as she took another sip of her drink.

Ali was completely oblivious as she finished her dinner and set her napkin on the table next to her plate. “So how about some ice cream? My treat,” she added with a wink.

Ash sighed and weighed her options. She could extend their night which would mean spending more time with Ali, but would also increase the risk she lost her cool and erupted at her. Or she could end it there and give herself some time to gather her composure and approach the subject at a later time with a bit more tact. She chose the latter, knowing she couldn’t afford blowing up at Ali again. “Actually I’m not feeling too great. I think I might take a rain check on the ice cream tonight. Maybe later this week?” She hoped her tone didn’t betray her true feelings.

“Oh. Yeah that’s no problem. Are you sure you’re going to be okay to drive home?”

She waved her hand in the air in response. “Yeah I’ll be alright. Just don’t think ice cream is a great idea,” she forced herself to let out a chuckle to ease Ali’s worry.

“Alright well we will take a rain check for sure.” She slipped some cash under the bill the waiter and had left and weighed it down with the salt shaker. “I’m glad we did this tonight.” Ashlyn didn’t smile back, but she figured it was because she was feeling ill and didn’t read too much into it.

“Yeah me too. Thanks for dinner.” She slid her chair back from the table abruptly. “Let me walk you to your car.”

Ali nodded and grabbed her purse from the hook on the side of their table. They walked quietly out to the parking lot and found themselves awkwardly standing in front of Ali’s car for a few moments before either of them said anything. Ali could tell that the gears in Ashlyn’s mind were churning, but didn’t want to get into it if Ashlyn wasn’t feeling well. Without a word Ashlyn stepped forward and closed the gap between them as she wrapped her arms around Ali. Her heart skipped a beat at the contact and hoped that Ashlyn didn’t sense the involuntary shudder that ricocheted through her body. As much as she wanted the contact, she couldn’t fight off her body’s biological response after what happened that weekend. She rested her chin on Ashlyn’s shoulder and whispered in her ear, “I missed you.”

Hearing the words, Ash pulled back in disbelief. If Ali really missed her then she would have agreed to move back in. If Ali missed her she wouldn’t be staying at the one place she wouldn’t want her to. Still, she couldn’t fight the calming effect that holding Ali had on her. “I missed you too. You should head back before it gets too late. Wouldn’t want anyone worrying about you.”

Ali was confused by the last comment Ash made, but let it go. She wanted to part on good terms and thought despite their short argument about her not moving back in, that they had a great night together. “Yeah okay. Feel better, okay? And text me as soon as you get home please.”

“Yeah thanks. I will,” she replied tersely.

Ashlyn opened Ali’s car door up for her, signaling that it was time for both of them to leave. Ali paused for a moment before getting in. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m really proud of you, Ash. I’m proud of you for continuing to fight even after everything you’ve been through. You are and always will be my hero. I love you and I’m holding you to that rain check on the ice cream date.” She placed a kiss on Ashlyn’s cheek before slipping into her car and letting Ash close it behind her. As she pulled away, she failed to see the conflicted tears that had begun to stream down Ashlyn’s face.

Twenty minutes later she pulled her car into the parking garage and made her way towards the elevator. As she waited a voice pulled her from her thoughts, “Did you have a good night Miss Krieger?” 

She turned her attention to the familiar face that was posted up behind the desk and decided to wander over to say hello. “I did actually. I had a great night. You know what would make it better though?”

“What’s that?” replied the man.

“Some ice cream. Can you have room service send me up some chocolate ice cream?” she asked as she leaned on her elbows which she placed on the edge of the front desk.

“Of course. I’ll send up some chocolate covered strawberries too,” he said with a smile, before adding, “On the house,” with a wink.

“Oh that’s not necessary,” she replied with a laugh. 

“It’s the least we can do. Your firm sending all of your clients here has done wonders for this hotel. It’s our pleasure. I promise.”

His warm smile quickly reassured Ali and she winked back, “Make sure they’re big strawberries.”

“Only the best for you!” he called out teasingly after her as she made her way back up to her hotel room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to start next chapter with the hint about her staying at a hotel, but didn't want to torture you guys anymore with thinking she was staying at Jordan's ;) Hope you're all enjoying your weekends!


	71. The First Steps Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo this is a super long one. I was going to split it up into two sections, but decided to just put it all up now. Enjoy :)
> 
> P.S. Just another warning that there's some more mention of violence.

Ali paced nervously back and forth across her office. It was 11:15 and she knew that Ashlyn would be there to pick her up for her appointment soon. True to her word, Ashlyn had agreed to the ice cream date with Ali a few days after their dinner date. As excited as Ali had been to see her again, she couldn’t help but feel that something was bothering Ash, but when she asked Ashlyn simply shrugged it off. She was hoping that this meeting would shed some light onto her mindset and what had been bothering her. She could feel her palms getting clammy and didn’t know what to expect when she was there. Ash had shared some things with her, but she had a suspicion that this was going to be on a completely different level.

There was a knock on her door and she froze in place. Had Ashlyn surprised her and came up to get her? She quickly adjusted her suit coat and smoothed her hair before answering, “Come in!” 

In walked Jordan with a stack of files. A wave of worry washed over her face as she took in the scene before her. “You okay, Al?” she asked as she set the files down on the table in front of her desk.

“Uhh…yeah I’m fine,” she said with as much reassurance as she could muster.

“You sure about that?” she asked as she looked over at the calendar hanging behind Ali’s desk. She quickly understood exactly what was happening. “Ohhh today is that thing with  
Ashlyn at the VA Hospital isn’t it?” she questioned before taking a seat on the edge of Ali’s office couch. 

She nodded and took a seat at one of the chairs that was facing the couch. “Yes she’s picking me up in less than fifteen minutes.” She sat back and crossed her legs, trying to take deep, calming breaths. 

“What are you worried about?”

“I don’t know. I just feel so nervous. Like I’m supposed to be strong for her, but what if I can’t? What if I can’t handle what she says? And she’s been acting weird and distant lately and that scares me. It scares me that she’s pushing me away. I just…I dunno…”

Jordan shook her head and held a hand up in the air to silence her. “Ashlyn wouldn’t have asked you to come if she didn’t want you there. This is a healing process not just for her, but for both of you. Don’t think you have to keep your feelings and emotions bottled up inside because that’s not going to help either of you. Just think of it as an opportunity to get it all out there in the open and grow together. You know?” She shrugged and crossed her arms, shooting Ali a pointed look as if everything she had just said was obvious.

Ali thought on her words for a few moments before nodding. Jordan’s words were exactly what she needed to hear. “You’re right. The reason we got into this mess is because we were both trying to be strong and protect the other. Even though it’s going to be hard, we just need to bear our souls so we can move forward.”

“Exactly,” Jordan replied with a smile. “You guys will be fine. I’m sure you being there is going to mean the world to Ashlyn. She’s probably doubting herself and the relationship so you just have to make sure you prove to her that you’re all in. But hey, I’ve got to take care of some stuff before I grab some lunch. If you need to talk when you get back feel free to swing by my office.” She stood and gave Ali a reassuring smile.

“Thanks, Jordan. I needed that,” she said with a smile of her own.

“Anytime,” she said over her shoulder as she left Ali’s office and made her way down the hall back to her own.

Ali closed her eyes and took a few more deep breaths before another light knock pulled her from her thoughts. “Forget something, Jordan?” she chuckled lightly.

“Wrong girlfriend,” came Ashlyn’s voice from the doorway. 

Ali spun around in her chair as her jaw hit the floor when she saw Ash standing there, especially looking so hot. She had on a blue and white checkered flannel that was rolled up above her elbows and a pair of black skinny jeans. Her hair was hanging over her shoulders, sticking out from underneath her black snapback. “Oh hey babe!” she said, her voice cracking in a high-pitched squeak. “Shit, you’re early. Just give me a minute to get my stuff together quick,” she said as she jumped up from the chair to gather her things.

“Take your time. We have a few minutes before we need to leave,” said Ashlyn calmly as she leaned against the door frame, trying to ignore the fact that Ali had mistaken her for Jordan. To be fair, they did work together so she couldn’t put too much weight on the situation.

After a minute Ali had gathered everything up in her purse and was ready to head out the door. She walked up to Ashlyn and gave her a peck on the cheek. “You look great, babe,” she said as she breezed by her into the hallway. “Let’s get out of here.”

Half an hour later they found themselves in the waiting room. Ashlyn seemed calm, but she could tell that Ali was anxious by the way her legs were bouncing up and down. She reached over and gave Ali’s hand a squeeze to soothe her. 

“Hey you have nothing to worry about, Alex. There’s no right or wrong in there. There’s just the truth, okay?” 

Ali nodded and breathed out some of her worries, secretly glad that her body hadn’t recoiled from Ashlyn’s touch this time. 

Just then their name was called out and they stood up in unison and Ali followed Ashlyn back through the hallways filled with offices. She stopped in front of one and knocked, entering once they got a response.

“Ah Ashlyn it’s good to see you again. And you must be Ali, right?” said the man as he extended his hand to shake. “I’m Dr. Freed.”

Ali smiled back at the man, instantly feeling a sense of calm wash over her. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Dr. Freed. I’ve heard a lot about you from this one over here,” she said with a smile as she nudged Ashlyn with her elbow.

The three of them shared a laugh as they settled into their respective chairs.

“So Ashlyn, how has the last week been for you?” questioned Dr. Freed after they had all gotten comfortable.

“Uh it’s been good. I had a lot of downtime since Ali had been at work so I met up with some old friends and just tried to relax around the house. I exercised with Bandit a lot which I think helped ease some of the stress too.”

“Good good,” replied Dr. Freed as he sat back into his chair. “And did any situations arise where you needed to work on those relaxation techniques I discussed with you?”

“A few times…” she said with a slight chuckle. “You don’t realize just how much can go wrong in a week.” She caught herself getting down and quickly added, “I think those techniques helped though. I didn’t have any flashbacks or bad episodes, just a few nightmares.”

“Well I see that as progress. And I also think it’s tremendous that Ali agreed to join us today.” He turned his attention to the brunette. “I hope you know that your support will be crucial for Ashlyn’s recovery.” 

It was a statement, but Ali couldn’t help but think that it was also a bit of a warning shot. “Like I told Ash, I’m on board with whatever she needs. I just want to see her better, doc. Whatever support she needs, I’m happy to give.”

Ashlyn let out a frustrated sigh. “As long as that support doesn’t interfere with you shacking up with Jordan,” she mumbled under her breath. She didn’t realize how loud she had said it until both Dr. Freed and Ali looked at her with shocked faces.

“Excuse me?” said Ali, heated at Ashlyn’s incorrect assumption.

“You heard me…” Ash said with a challenging look.

“Where did you get that from?” asked a dumbfounded Ali.

Dr. Freed just sat back and watched the encounter unfold, ready to jump in if need be.

“I’m not stupid, Ali. You’re not staying with Kyle, you’re not staying with Whit and you always insisted on meeting me out instead of getting picked up. You’re staying with Jordan and trying to hide it from me! What else could that mean?”

“Are you serious, Ash? Do you really think I’d do that?” she was seriously hurt that Ashlyn would suspect that from her.

“Well where else would you stay?” she angrily demanded. 

“I was at a hotel! Okay? I didn’t want you to know that I stayed at a hotel. I didn’t feel like being around anyone, nor did I feel like explaining what happened and just wanted some time to myself to process it all. Is that okay with you?” she threw the last question at her with a strong sense of disdain.

Ashlyn’s face dropped a bit as she scrambled to try to find a response. When none quickly came, Dr. Freed decided to step in to ease the growing tension.

“Okay, ladies. This is good. It’s good to get all of these worries and fears out there. Ashlyn I know you said why you thought she was staying at this Jordan’s house, but what do you think was behind that idea? What was the fear that was driving that thought?”

Ashlyn looked down and fiddled with her fingers. She let out a long sigh before answering. “I don’t know. Maybe that I think I’m not good enough to hold onto her? It’s like…I feel like I pushed her too far away and maybe she won’t come back. I keep thinking that…that maybe she deserves someone that can give her more than I can.”

Before Dr. Freed could respond, Ali did. “And who are you to say what I deserve or want? From day one it’s been you. You are all I want, Ash. I just wish you would believe in me as much as I believe in you.”

Ali’s words cut deep to her core, but Ashlyn knew they were words she needed to hear. It wasn’t spoken from a place of anger, more so coming from a deep desire to establish trust and move forward together. Her shoulders slumped a bit when she realized how much she had hurt Ali. The physical pain had been one thing, but with time the bruises would fade. It was the mental wounds from everything that was going to take longer to heal. And the only way to do that was through complete trust and honesty. “You’re right. I’m sorry for ever doubting you,” she responded with a deep sincerity. “You’ve done nothing but love and support me and I have no reason to doubt you.”

At first Ali was a bit shocked that Ashlyn had come to the realization so quickly without even some semblance of an argument. But the shock quickly faded to admiration at the fact that Ashlyn really was trying to grow and heal together. “It’s okay,” she said, smiling for the first time.

“This is very good!” said Dr. Freed excitedly. “Honesty and trust is key here. I would say next time something is bothering you Ashlyn, just ask and trust that Ali won’t hide things from you. And vice-versa with you Ali.”

Both girls nodded and smiled meekly up at each other. It was progress.

“So Ashlyn I know we spent a lot of time last time visiting some of your most vivid flashbacks and I’d like to go back there again.” He turned his attention to Ali to describe what was happening when she frowned at his insistence of dredging up the memories again. “Ali I don’t know if Ashlyn has explained this fully to you, but what were are doing here is called exposure therapy. This type of therapy works by helping victims approach their trauma related thoughts and feelings that have been causing distress. By repeatedly exposing Ashlyn to these thoughts through either real world simulations or through the imagination, we can help reduce the power they have to cause her distress.” He saw that Ali was still slightly confused so he explained it a bit more. “Okay here’s another way to look at it. For example, when you’re initially exposed to say ocean water, it can be very cold at first. However, over time with prolonged and repeated exposures, the water starts to feel less cold as you acclimate. That same theory is what’s behind what we’re doing here. When repeatedly facing a fear-inducing stimulus or thought in exposure therapy, Ashlyn will begin to experience some habituation, or that natural reduction in fear. Does that make sense to you?”

Ali nodded after listening thoroughly to his explanation of everything. As much as she didn’t want to hear the gruesome details of what Ashlyn had endured, she knew that it would help both of them come to terms with everything. 

Dr. Freed turned back to Ashlyn with a warm smile. “Would you like to start then?” he offered with his hands extended and palms raised. “Why don’t we go back to the incident we spoke on last week? That seems to be where most of your flashbacks and nightmares are centered around.”

Ashlyn nodded and went into deep thought again. She shot a glace towards Ali, trying to gauge what her reaction would be. “Okay.”

“Okay, I need you to close your eyes, Ashlyn.”

She obliged without hesitation and quickly clamped her eyes shut, tightening them to block out any of the light.

“And I want you to think back to that day. It was the morning after you were captured. You and Danny were in the room and the captors barged in. They yanked you to your feet and started screaming at you.”

Ali looked intently at Ash, ignoring Dr. Freed completely. She watched as Ashlyn’s eyes tightened and her jaw clenched at the mention of the captors. As Dr. Freed continued she could see Ashlyn flinch when he described someone binding her hands behind her back and her legs to a chair. She quickly wiped a tear away after Dr. Freed gave her a reassuring pat on the knee as he continued.

“Now Ashlyn I want you to take it from here. What were you feeling at that moment?”

“I was…I was scared. Terrified actually,” she said through a cracking voice which nearly broke Ali’s heart. “It was the first day and I didn’t know what they were planning on doing to me. I was in pain too from the helicopter crash. I think the adrenaline kicked in a bit though because the physical pain was replaced by the fear.”

“Okay so now I want you to go back there when they placed the towel over your face. Tell me how it felt.”

“It was soft and warm. That’s the first thing I remember thinking, that it was soft. It was probably the most comforting thing I felt the entire time there, until I realized what it meant.” She took a few deep, calming breaths to settle her spiking heart rate as the images of what followed flashed through her mind. 

“So now that they placed the towel on your face and you know what is coming next, why don’t you tell me how you felt?”

After a deep sigh she continued. “I was scared again. We had done torture resistance training, but I knew this would be different. There were no rules or safety guidelines. I knew this was the real deal and I just tensed my body up to prepare for the worst.”

“Did you ever consider giving them what they wanted instead?” he pointedly asked.

At this point in the conversation Ashlyn’s eyes jerked open and she jolted up from her relaxed state. “That thought never once crossed my mind. I am a U.S Soldier and I would die to protect my country.”

Dr. Freed didn’t react, as if he was expecting this reaction. “That’s definitely admirable, soldier. I wasn’t accusing you of anything. Just trying to get to the root of this.”

Ashlyn relaxed a bit and let her body sink back into the chair to wait for Dr. Freed’s next directive.

“So although the thought never crossed your mind, you were aware that there were two options correct?” 

“I guess,” she mumbled quietly.

“So would you say that you blame yourself for what happened next?”

Ashlyn thought on it a moment before shaking her head. “No I don’t think I do. I figured that whether I gave them the information they wanted or not, they were never going to just let me go and they were probably going to torture me all the same.”

He wrote something down on his pad and nodded. “That’s definitely good to know. So now why don’t you sit back and close your eyes again.”

Ashlyn did as he instructed, trying to get comfortable as she wriggled back in the chair.

“Okay so now imagine you’re back there and they placed the towel on your face. Now they’re pulling it tight and you know what’s coming. Tell me what happened next and what you’re feeling.”

“They tilted me back and at that moment when my feet left the ground I knew I had no control. They started pouring the water over my face and obviously I tried to fight it, but there was nothing I could do. I felt…I felt the water go into my lungs and I couldn’t breathe. It was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced.” She paused as her hands begun shaking.

Ali looked desperately up to Dr. Freed and gestured towards Ashlyn’s hands. He nodded and Ali scooted over towards Ash. “It’s okay baby. I’m right here,” she said and wiped the tears that were forming in the corner of her eyes. She grabbed Ashlyn’s hand gently and then gave it a reassuring squeeze. Ash squeezed it back harder as if she was trying to steal her strength so she would have enough to go on.

“The funny thing is that wasn’t even the worst time. They pulled me back up and I was coughing up water, desperately grasping for air to replace it. And then they all started laughing. They were just laughing at me. It was only ten seconds. Only ten seconds with cold water being poured on my face and I thought it was the worst thing I’d ever experienced.” Her voice trailed off at the end and she felt Ali gently rubbing her hand with her thumb. It was comforting to feel her there, but she still didn’t like that Ali was listening to all of this. “After about thirty seconds they yanked me back down and did it again. This time I really thought I was going to die. I started to get dizzy and no matter what I tried, I couldn’t fight it. I was drowning and I thought they were going to kill me right there. There was water everywhere. It was in my lungs, my nose, my throat, my eyes. It just surrounded me and the burn was so intense that…that I just wanted to end it. I just wanted to die.”

Ali gasped, but fought the urge to pull her hand back in shock, knowing that Ash needed her support more than anything at that moment. She heard Ashlyn’s breathing become more labored and sporadic and knew that she wasn’t there in that moment, she was trapped in a vivid memory.

“But you didn’t die,” said Dr. Freed matter of factly, causing both of the girls faces to twist with confusion as Ashlyn momentarily snapped out of her flashback. “They stopped and you’re still here. You made it through that and all of the other countless times they tried to break you and you’re still here, alive and breathing. They’re not and you are. Right?”

“Right,” Ashlyn breathed out quietly. 

“They didn’t win. They didn’t break you. I need you to say that.”

“Huh?” said Ashlyn, her voice laden with uncertainty.

“I need you to tell yourself that they didn’t win. That you’re still here and you won. Tell me and tell Ali that they didn’t break you.”

“They didn’t break me,” she said quieter this time.

“Louder Harris. Convince us.”

She raised her voice up a few levels before mumbling, “They didn’t beat me.”

Dr. Freed shook his head. “Like you mean it. Say it like you believe it. I need you to truly believe it.”

Ashlyn took a deep breath to settle her emotions. “They didn’t break me,” she said, this time much more confidently than the time before. “Those bastards didn’t win. I did.”

“Very good,” said Dr. Freed with an enthusiastic smile. “Now that was convincing! You can sit up and open your eyes now. I think we made a lot of progress today.” He smiled at both of the girls while he wrote a few more things down on his note pad. “Now Ashlyn I have a recording for you of last session and this one. It’s the audio of you describing the event and over the next week before our next session I need you to listen to it. Find a time when you feel comfortable and just sit back and listen to it. The more often you listen to it and process it, the more desensitized you’ll become to it all. Do you understand?”

Ashlyn nodded, “Yes that makes sense. Any other homework for me?” she asked, eager to do whatever she could to get better.

“After you listen to the recording and are able to calm yourself, you should go do something fun and stimulating. You’ll start to associate the calming effect with fun things which will make you even more able to cope. Okay?”

Ash again nodded and gave Ali’s hand a gentle squeeze. 

The doctor picked up on this and gave them a soft smile. “If Ali would like she could listen as well and be there to comfort you. Either way is fine, just make sure you listen and make sure you lean on her if you need to, okay?” After Ashlyn nodded, he turned to Ali again and smiled. “Thank you for coming today. I really hope this helps you understand some of what Ashlyn’s struggling with and helps you see the best ways to support her.”

Ali nodded with a smile. “I’m glad you invited me. I think this was helpful for both of us and I just wanted to thank you for working with Ashlyn.”

“It’s my pleasure,” he responded, reaching out his hand to shake Ali’s. “Now remember Harris, make sure you do something fun after listening to those recordings. Doesn’t matter what it is.”

“We could go surfing!” said Ali excitedly, remembering how much Ashlyn loved being out in the ocean and the calming effect it had on her.

Ashlyn’s forced a smile, appreciating that Ali was trying. “Yeah, maybe,” she said as she stood to shake Dr. Freed’s hand. “Thanks again, Dr. Freed. I’ll make sure I keep up with those recordings,” she finished with a smile as he escorted them out to the lobby. 

“Same time next week,” he said and patted Ashlyn on the back as her and Ali exited the building. 

They made their way out into the parking lot, blinking to fight off the stinging rays of sun that burned their eyes. 

Ashlyn grabbed Ali’s hand and spun her around as they approached her Jeep. “I just wanted to thank you again for being there with me today. I can’t explain how much it means to have you supporting me with all of this.” She nervously rubbed the back of her neck with her free time as she dug her toe into the loose gravel of the parking lot. 

Ali grabbed her other arm from behind her neck and brought them down so they were both dangling loosely between them. “I’ll never stop being there. I promise,” she said as she placed a light kiss on Ashlyn’s lips. “Can I ask you something?” she asked nervously.

Ashlyn tensed a bit as her mind flashed to all of the possibilities that Ali could want to ask. “Sure. You can ask me anything,” she replied cautiously as she gripped Ali’s hands tightly. 

“Would it be okay with you if I moved back in?” Her voice wavered a bit as if she was unsure of herself.

A smile wound across Ashlyn’s face, traveling up to her eyes that instantly filled with light. “I would absolutely love it if you came back,” she said smoothly as she placed a kiss on her lips. “Come home to where you belong baby.”


	72. The Road to Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't update yesterday! Things have been a bit crazy around here. Unfortunately, I'm kind of slowing down on this story a bit. I've got a few more chapters to go and things to wrap up, but I'm running out of ideas and don't want to drag it on. Hope you enjoy :)

“Babe?” Ashlyn called out as she opened up the door. She had just gone for a run after another productive therapy session and was feeling better than she had in weeks. After a few weeks of meeting with Dr. Freed, she could definitely tell she was coping a lot better with everything.

Ali looked up from her laptop screen and could hear the front door closing. “In the living room!” she called out as she turned back to typing.

“Hey you,” said Ashlyn as she placed a kiss on Ali’s forehead before sitting in the chair across from her and taking her shoes off.

Ali stopped typing and looked up at Ashlyn. She swallowed hard as she studied her, unnoticed by Ash who was still unlacing her shoes. Her black mesh shorts hung loosely off her legs, while her grey dry fit shirt clung to her muscled frame, wet with sweat from her run. Her hair was wrapped up in a tight bun and her headphones were draped around her shoulders. She was still slightly panting from the hard run and Ali couldn’t help the fact that she was a little turned on. Finally, Ash looked up from the ground and saw her staring. Ali tried to divert her eyes, but she had already been caught.

“You like what you see?” she asked with a dimpled smirk.

Ali flushed a bit before looking back. “Eh, I guess,” she teased with a smile of her own as she pretended to turn back to her work.

Ashlyn wasn’t having any of that and with a quick motion flicked Ali’s laptop shut.

“Hey!” cried Ali as she looked back at Ashlyn’s face which was holding a mischievous grin. “I was in the middle of doing something!”

Ashlyn looked at Ali who was pouting with her bottom lip sticking out and laughed. “I know something else you can do,” she said with another smirk as she ghosted over Ali’s leg with her fingers.

Ali shuddered and she sucked in a tight breath as Ashlyn’s hands slid up her thigh, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind. While their relationship had improved, they still hadn’t been intimate since the incident a few weeks back, but the tension surrounding them had to come to a breaking point sooner or later. As much as Ashlyn wanted to, she was respecting Ali's wishes and didn’t want to push her or trigger any bad memories for her girlfriend.

Sensing some slight hesitation from Ali, Ash pulled her hand back and instead gave Ali a kiss on the cheek as she stood up. “I’m going to go take a quick shower. Then do you want to go grab something to eat?” she asked as she paused at the base of the stairs.

Ali looked back up at her with smile as she set her laptop down on the table in front of her. “I was going to make some sandwiches if that sounds good with you? I don’t have to go into the office today so we can hang out for the rest of the afternoon if you want.”

Ashlyn was beaming, her dimple flashing across the room. “I would love nothing more than to eat your delicious sandwiches and hang out with you.”

“Okay then go clean up, stud. I can smell you from here!” Ali teased as she playfully fanned her nose with her hand.

She scrunched her face into a frown and puffed out her bottom lip. “Those better be the most delicious sandwiches ever to make up for that comment,” she called out before making her way up the stairs towards their bedroom.

Ali just chuckled to herself as she strolled into the kitchen. She grabbed some bread off the counter and some lunch meat and cheese from the fridge and set to work on making them the perfect sandwiches. Just as she was putting on the finishing touches, she felt a strong pair of arms wrap around her waist.

“Those look delicious,” said Ash as she kissed the crook of her neck and squeezed her tightly.

Ali let her body sink back into Ashlyn’s, relishing the comfort her hold provided. They stayed there for a moment silently locked in their embrace before Ashlyn’s stomach growling ruined the moment.

“Come on let’s get some food in you,” said Ali as she spun around and gave Ashlyn a quick kiss on the lips. “I know how grumpy you get when you don’t eat,” she teased as she patted Ashlyn’s butt and grabbed their plates off the counter. “Can you grab those glasses of lemonade?” she asked as she shuffled out of the kitchen and out onto the deck.

“Yes ma’am,” chuckled Ashlyn as she scooped the glasses into her hands and followed Ali out.

“How was your meeting today?” asked Ali before she took a giant bite of her sandwich.

Ashlyn was just about to do the same, but paused and set it down with a frown to answer her question. “It was really good. Dr. Freed seems pretty happy with my progress. I still get nightmares and stuff sometimes, but it’s a lot less often and I can see myself being able to control it a bit better. He said you’re welcome to come back anytime,” she said with a shrug before she picked up her sandwich and bit into it.

Ali laughed to herself at the look of bliss that fell over Ashlyn’s face as she moaned about how good the sandwich was. “Glad you like it babe,” she said in between bites. “Are we even from my comment earlier?”’

Ashlyn looked up at her with narrowed eyes. “I’m not so sure about that...”

“Well I’ll take my sandwich back then,” Ali teased as she stood up and pretended to reach for Ashlyn’s plate from across the table.

Ash playfully slapped her hand away, “Okay! Okay! We’re even woman. Geeze. Who goes around stealing people’s sandwiches from their plate? That’s crazy!”

With a roll of her eyes Ali sat back down and returned to her own plate after taking a long sip of her drink. “So what do you want to do this afternoon?”

“Ummm..not sure,” said Ashlyn through the food that was stuff in her mouth.

Ali pretended not to be repulsed as a few crumbs spewed out of her mouth. She just shook her head and sat back in her chair, still waiting for an answer.

“Maybe we could take Bandit for a walk on the beach?”

Ali smiled as she finished off her lemonade. “That sounds perfect. I think he would love that, and so would I,” she added as she gave Ashlyn’s hand a squeeze. 

While Ali cleaned up the kitchen and put the dishes away, Ashlyn retreated to the front hall to grab Bandit’s leash. He immediately started jumping excitedly and barking to which Ashlyn just laughed and ruffled his fur. 

“Ready boy?” she asked as she squatted down to his level and secured the leash to his collar.

He showered her face with wet, sloppy kisses which she took as a yes. A laugh from behind her made her quickly whip around.

“Hey watch it bud! She’s mine!” teased Ali as she came up behind Ashlyn and wrapped her arms loosely around her waist. 

“I don’t know he does give pretty good kisses,” said Ash ss she turned her head to kiss Ali’s temple.

“Oh is that so?” she replied with a deviant smirk.

“I mean I don’t have anything to compare it with off the top of my head,” Ashlyn grinned as she turned her body and tightened her grip so that their chests were mashed together.  
“Hmmmm that’s strange,” replied Ali teasingly, her lips just ghosting over Ashlyn’s. “If only there was something I could do about that,” she added and pulled away to tap her chin playfully.

Ashlyn couldn’t resist any more. “Oh there is something you can do,” she retorted as she pulled Ali in and crashed their lips together. 

The fire that burned through both of their bodies at the slight contact was evident. Ashlyn immediately dropped Bandit’s leash, much to his displeasure, and brought her left hand up to cup Ali’s cheek while her right hand dipped lower to her ass to pull their bodies firmly together. Ali’s free hand snaked up Ashlyn’s back and became tangled in her blonde hair as she pulled Ashlyn into a deeper kiss. She parted her lips and cocked her head to allow more contact and Ashlyn moaned into her mouth as she felt Ali’s hips push harder into her own. 

Both of their bodies were pulsing as Ash slowly backed them up and they spilled onto the couch. Ali could feel her heart racing as if it was trying to escape from her chest when Ashlyn’s hand slipped underneath her shirt and ran underneath her bra. She bucked her hips up into Ash’s wanting more contact as she bit hard on Ashlyn’s lower lip, earning her a gasp.   
Ali didn’t want to waste any more time and ripped Ashlyn’s shirt off over her head before frantically doing the same thing to her own. Every spot that Ashlyn touched burned and she couldn’t get enough of the feeling she left on her skin. She pulled Ashlyn deeper into a kiss, as their tongues wildly dueled and fought for position. 

Just as Ali reached down to slide her shorts off, Bandit’s bark pulled them from their stupor. Ashlyn pulled back, initially startled, before realizing he was just agitated that they weren’t walking yet. Ali went to shoe him, but Ashlyn just sat back on her heels and looked down at her, heart still racing, chest still rising and falling. She could see the longing and hunger in Ali’s eyes, and as much as she wanted to give her what she wanted, she didn’t want it to be like this. The last time she had had her hands on her exposed skin like that it had been an act of violence. She wanted the next time to be passionate and filled with love, not just a momentary lustful desire.

Ashlyn leaned down and brushed some hair out of Ali’s face which she tucked behind her ear. Ali quickly realized what was happening and fisted the front of Ashlyn’s shirt to bring her back down. When Ash just smiled brightly back at her, she let out a sigh, knowing that for once she wasn’t going to get what she wanted. 

“You’re killing me,” said Ali through ragged breath. 

“Sorry babe. I just don’t want our first time to be like this,” she said with a shrug as she shifted her weight off of Ali’s thighs a bit.

“Ash, you are aware that this isn’t our first time, right?” she asked quizzically. “Did Dr. Freed brainwash you and make you lose your memory?” she said with a laugh.

Ashlyn just smiled back at her and shook her head as she gently rubbed Ali’s arm. “You know what I mean, Alex. I just want it to be special and show you how much I really love you and that I will never do anything to hurt you again.”

She knew exactly where Ash was coming from and didn’t want to push the subject. If she was being honest with herself, she knew that she had rebuffed some of Ashlyn’s earlier attempts to rekindle their intimacy and knew this was something that meant a lot to her. “Okay you tease,” Ali huffed as she playfully pushed Ashlyn off of her. “Let’s go take our rowdy boy for a walk.”

Hearing the word walk sent Bandit into another fit and he ran around her legs in circles barking excitedly. “Sit Bandit. Sit,” she called while she spun around in circles trying to keep up with him. Finally she shot Ashlyn a glance, “I thought you were supposed to be training him? What have you been doing when I’m at work all day?” she teased as she Ashlyn laughed at the sight of her girlfriend’s brown hair flowing wildly as she chased the dog around in circles like a little kid.

She got up from the couch and commanded, “Bandit, sit,” in a firm voice. He immediately stopped running and obediently dropped to the floor at Ashlyn’s feet. “He listens just fine to me,” she said with a cocky grin.

“Whatever,” replied Ali with an eye roll before Ashlyn wrapped her up tightly in her arms.

“Aww baby don’t be jealous,” said Ash as she kissed Ali’s cheek. “Bandit’s a smart dog. He just knows who the boss around here is.”

She tried to push away before she finished her line, but her reflexes were too slow. Ali solidly connected a playful slap on her arm as Ashlyn retreated, still chuckling. “Don’t push it Harris,” she warned before Ashlyn launched into a full tickle attack that nearly sent Ali reeling. 

“Ahhh, Ash stop!” she cried out in between her laughs. “Ashlyn…Michelle…Harris! Stoppp!”

This riled Bandit up even more and he started jumping at Ashlyn and barking, trying to get in on the fun and rescue Ali.

Ash turned around, and feigned being hurt. “My own dog turning against me,” she said sadly as she placed her hand over her heart and pretended to look rejected.

“Aww don’t be jealous baby. He really is a smart dog. He might think you’re the boss, but we all know who his real favorite is,” she said with a laugh as Bandit jumped into her arms and gave her some puppy kisses.

Ash just sighed and stood up from the couch where she had moments before had Ali pinned. “I see how it is,” she groaned as she followed her little family out onto the porch towards the beach. “You two partners in crime better watch it,” she teased with a smile as she caught up to them and intertwined her fingers with Ali’s while patting Bandit’s head with her free hand. 

Ali sighed happily and leaned into Ashlyn who wrapped her arm around her. “This is perfect,” said Ali with a genuine smile as she set her head on Ashlyn’s shoulders.

Ashlyn looked around them at the ocean before them, thankful that Ali hadn’t walked too close to the water. She knew it was the one demon she had left to conquer, but she wasn’t quite ready yet. Still the scene in front of her was picture perfect. She had the sun setting over the crest of the ocean, her girl wrapped tightly in her arms and her dog happily trotting next to them. It was as perfect as it could get for the time being and she was definitely okay with that. “You’re perfect,” she said sincerely as she placed a kiss on Ali’s cheek. “You’re absolutely perfect.”


	73. The End of the Road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so here it is...the last chapter! Thank you all for sticking with me and reading through all of my craziness and cliffhangers! I really appreciated all of the kudos and definitely got a kick out of some of the comments you left, especially the ones hating on Jordan lol. As sad as I am to be ending this one, I do have some other ideas so hopefully I'll be back with another story sometime soon. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy!! :)

When Ashlyn woke up that morning, she knew it was going to be the day. Although she was nervous to ask her, she knew that she couldn’t put if off anymore. After the amazing night they had spent together everything felt like it had fallen back into place. They were back to their old selves and Ash was finally feeling like she was on the right side of things. The confidence she needed was back and it was time to put up or shut up. Her eyes popped open when her alarm rang and she ignored the beams of light that were attempting to blind her through the crack in the curtains. After inhaling a deep, calming breath she stripped the covers off and plodded to the bathroom where she threw some water on her face. “Okay, Harris. You can do this,” she whispered to herself in a little pep talk. “You look good. You got this.” She smiled brightly and admired her dimple in the mirror before pulling on some clothes and making her way downstairs to find Ali.

Ali was curled up with Bandit on the outdoor sofa reading a book when Ashlyn slid the back door open. “What time did you sneak out of bed?” she asked before placing a kiss on Ali’s cheek.

“A couple hours ago. I watched the sunrise actually.”

“Why so early?” asked Ash as she scooted Bandit over to claim her spot next to Ali who let out a sigh.

“I don’t know actually. I just couldn’t sleep anymore.” She set her book down and leaned into Ashlyn who slipped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer.

“You should have got me up babe,” said Ash with a hint of concern.

“You looked so cute sleeping there so I didn’t want to wake you,” she said with a smile and let her fingers wander over Ashlyn’s arm. “Besides I figured I wore you out last night and you needed to recharge a little,” she added with a wink, letting her voice become a bit sultry.

“Ohhhh is that what you thought happened last night, princess? See from the noises and curse words coming out of your mouth last night, I thought that it was the other way around.” Her hand slid up Ali’s thigh and she flashed a cocky grin when Ali inhaled sharply at the contact.

Ali was still amazed that a simple touch from Ashlyn could send her mind and body reeling. It had always been that way between them and she hoped that was one thing that could never change. She found her thoughts drifting into the future a bit, a future with Ashlyn, and a smile lit up her face. “God I love you,” she breathed out quietly and she closed her eyes loosely.

Ash knew it was the perfect time to ask. She grabbed Ali’s hand and took a deep breath. “Babe can I ask you something?”

Ali’s eyes shot open when she heard the nerves in Ash’s voice. “Of course you can,” she quickly replied and gave Ashlyn’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “What’s up?”

Ashlyn took another deep breath, letting the air fill her lungs and calm her nerves. “Well first I just want to thank you for being amazing through this whole process. I know that it wasn’t easy and at times I wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around. But you stuck by me and were my rock through good times and bad and I honestly don’t think I would be here today without you. I just...I know we can get through anything together.” Tears were beginning to form in her eyes as well as Ali’s.

Ashlyn never missed an opportunity to tell or show Ali how much she appreciated her, but this felt different. This was coming from a different place.

“I think we can too, baby.” Ali brought Ashlyn’s hand up to her lips and placed a kiss on her knuckles. “What did you want to ask me though?”

“Well...” Ashlyn’s face hung a bit as the nerves came washing in again. Maybe she wasn’t ready for this.

“Babe what’s up,” prodded Ali.

“Well after everything I’ve been through and that we’ve been through I think there’s only one thing left to do...” her voice trailed out as she looked past Ali.

“And that is?” Ali smiled a bit, knowing where this conversation was going.

“I think I need to get back in the water. I need to conquer my fears once and for all and surf, but I can only do that if you’re out there with me, by my side like always.” She gulped and waited. She was unsure of how she would react once in the water and after what happened last time she lost control, she wouldn’t blame Ali for not wanting to be out there.

A small chuckle escaped Ali’s lips, only to escalate to a booming, uncontrolled laugh.

“Wha...what?” said Ash, as her forehead wrinkled in confusion. “What’s so funny?”

Ali knew she shouldn’t be laughing, but couldn’t control it. “I thought... you were... going... to propose!!” she got out through the laughter. She doubled over and held her stomach, unable to catch her breath.

“What?!” said Ashlyn as her eyes flew wide open. “What gave you that idea?”

Ali finally settled a bit and looked up at Ash with a big grin. “When a girl comes to you and says a bunch of nice things and that you can get through anything together and says they have a question to ask...what else are you supposed to think?” she questioned wildly, her eyes showing her true bewilderment.

Ashlyn just chuckled. “I guess you got a point there,” she said with a shrug and tried to play it off.

Ali just rolled her eyes and shook her head. “You’re killing me, Ash,” she said with a chuckle. “But of course I’ll go surfing with you. All joking aside though, are you sure you’re ready?”

Ashlyn swallowed and shifted closer to Ali. “I need to do this, Alex. And I think I can do it with you by my side.”

A warm smile spread across Ali’s face as she stood up. “Alright let’s do this then.” She stood up and stripped off her top and slid out of her shorts to head into the house to change. “I’m going to change,” she said teasingly in just her bra and underwear before disappearing into the house.

Ashlyn bolted off the couch and ran after her, showering her exposed shoulders with kisses. “Surfing can wait,” she huffed as she wrapped her arms around Ali’s waist and lifted her off the ground a bit.

Ali spun around and placed a hand on Ashlyn’s chest. “Easy there stud. You don’t get the prize just for thinking about competing,” she said with a sassy smile. “I’ll show you how proud of you I am later.” She elongated the end of the word later as she gently shoved Ashlyn off and climbed the stairs to their room.

Ash grumbled something under her breath, but followed Ali up the stairs to get ready.

Fifteen minutes later they were standing next to each other, just out of reach of the water. Their fingers were intertwined with a surfboard tucked under the other as they stared silently out into the vast ocean that lay before them.

Ali squeezed Ashlyn’s hand when she heard her breathing speed up. “You can do this. I’ll be right here the entire time.”

Ash nodded and sucked in a deep breath. It was now or never. She let go of Ali’s hand and stepped cautiously into the water, letting it wash over her feet. It felt natural, so she took a few more steps in all the while taking in deep breaths to settle her heart. The water was up past her knees and she paused for a moment as she let the waves ripple past her, causing the wave to crest around her waist. Her body rocked and swayed with the waves as she took in the sensation again. After a moment her fears washed away with the waves. The ebb and flow felt comfortable, at least more comfortable than she thought it would. She turned back to look at Ali who was pensively watching her from the shore. “You coming in or are you just going to stand there and look pretty?” she called with a big smile.

Ali breathed a sigh of relief and returned her smile. “Don’t let me beat you out there!” she yelled as she took off running into the water past Ashlyn and flopped onto her board.

Ashlyn laughed and chased after her, effortlessly jumping onto her own board and coasting over the breaking waves. Ali looked back over her shoulder to see a large wave rolling in. It was a much larger wave than Ashlyn could go over which meant she would have to go under. She gulped and watched Ashlyn’s face intently as she dove underneath the wave. She came up sputtering on the other side and Ali immediately jumped off her board and swam over when Ash began flailing in the water and gasping for air.

“Ashlyn! Baby are you okay?” she screamed as she got closer.

She broke from her coughing and looked up. “Yeah,” she croaked through another cough. “I just forgot how much getting salt water blasted up your nose hurts,” she said with a laugh as she shook the water off of her face.

Ali’s eyes went wide for a moment before she joined in on the laughter. “You scared me half to death, Ashlyn!” she chuckled and lightly punched her in the arm. “Don’t do that to me again,” she said as she feigned being mad.

Ashlyn just grabbed her arm that was draped around her surfboard and pulled her up for a kiss. “Sorry beautiful. Now are you ready for me to show you how surfing is really done?” she asked with a cocky grin.

“Oh please. I’ve become quite the expert of my own while you were gone,” she replied with her own coy smile. “Let’s do this,” she added before pushing off of Ashlyn’s board to swim back to her own.

After sitting out there and floating for fifteen minutes, Ashlyn took a deep breath. Paddling out was one thing, but actually surfing a wave was another thing entirely. She knew the changes of her falling off were a lot higher and that she wouldn’t be in control, the water would be. She just hoped that all of her therapy and training had adequately prepared her for the time when the water would surround and control her again. “This next wave is mine,” she said as confidently as she could muster and smiled when Ali gave her a nod of encouragement.

“You got this baby,” she said assuring Ash as best she could. “I’ll be right behind you.”

The wave came and it was a beauty. Ashlyn knew she couldn’t let this pass her by. She paddled hard and when the time came, she pushed her body up and stood on her feet. Waves of euphoria rushed through her body and for the first time since being home she felt completely free. The movements came back to her naturally and she effortlessly glided across the wave, dipping her hand into the barrel and letting it slide through. As great as she felt, she knew it was about to end when she saw the wave slamming shut in front of her. Suddenly, the water came down on her back and her board was sucked out from underneath her. She could feel her body being pulled in every direction as the wave thrashed violently around her. For a moment, her heart began racing and she could feel herself being dragged back into her dark place just like she was being dragged to the bottom of the ocean at the moment. Her mind flashed back to the water boarding, but this time that’s not where the memories stopped. Ali’s face flashed into her mind next, followed by Bandit and everyone else she loved. She couldn’t possibly go back to a dark place, when she was surrounded by so much light. She snapped out of her memory and swam to the surface just as her lungs were beginning to burn with want for air. Finally, she broke the surface and could hear Ali's screams over her own gasp for air. She looked to her right and saw Ali's worried self, frantically swimming over to her.

“ASHLYN, ARE YOU OKAY?” she cried out as she continued to frantically make her way over to Ashlyn who was slowly clawing her way back to the shore. She finally reached Ashlyn when she was slumped over their towels on her hands and knees coughing and gasping desperately for air. Ali squatted down next to her and grabbed Ashlyn’s arm to pull her closer and clutch her tightly to her chest. “Baby it’s okay. I’m right here,” she cooed. She pulled back to check Ash for signs of injury, either mental or physical, but was met with a gigantic smile. “Wha..are..are you okay?”

“I’m fantastic,” Ashlyn said through a final cough as she placed a kiss on Ali’s lips, showing her all of the passion and love she felt for her.

“Are you sure? You just got slammed by that wave baby. Why are you smiling?” Ali stood up to check her over more thoroughly for some sort of injury.

Ashlyn just looked up at her with a goofy, devious grin, chuckling the whole time as she caught her breath.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Ali asked again when she concluded her check and decided that Ashlyn didn’t have any deformities from her walloping.

She just grinned even brighter, flashing her dimple that melted Ali’s worries away.

“Why are you smiling so big, stud?” Her smile quickly fell when Ashlyn turned towards her and she saw what was in her hand.

“Oh my god!” she quipped through staggered breaths. “Ash is that...”

“Are you going to let me do this the right way or not?” she asked, cutting her off with a sassy grin.

“Right...Right...Sorry go ahead!” she said as tears were already forming in her eyes as she looked down at the glistening ring Ashlyn was holding in her hands as she kneeled before her.

Ashlyn grasped Ali’s hand with her free one and took a deep breath. “Ali, I meant every word I said this morning about knowing I can get through anything with you by my side. Together, we can get through anything that life throws at us and I think we’ve proven that time and time again. I would have done this sooner, but I needed to know that I was ready for it, that I was in a good place. I needed to know that I was myself again and could give you everything you need and deserve. This was my last test. The last thing I needed to do and I made it through. Look,” she said as she pulled Ali’s hand to her chest and placed it on her heart. “It’s still beating. It beats only for you, Alex. That’s what I realized today when I out there sinking to the bottom of the ocean. The dark thoughts wanted to creep back in, but they didn’t. Your light drives the darkness away. I’m done hiding in the shadows and I want to step out into the light with you.” She paused to wipe a stray tear that was rolling down her cheek. After taking another deep breath to calm her shaky voice she continued on. “Alex, it doesn’t matter what comes our way because you’re the only thing that’s real for me. You’re it for me and I want to spend the rest of my life proving that to you if you’ll let me. I love you more than I can put into words and I want to spend the rest of my days right by your side. Alexandra Blaire Krieger, would you please do me the honor of marrying me?”

Ali didn’t even hesitate and dropped to her knees in the sand in front of Ashlyn and wrapped her arms tightly around her neck. “Yes baby! Yes of course I will,” she cried into Ashlyn’s chest. “A thousand times yes,” she added when she finally pulled back and was met with Ashlyn’s beautiful eyes and dimple.

Ashlyn slipped the ring on her finger, noting the huge grin that was sprawled across Ali’s face ear to ear. “I love you, baby,” she said with a wide smile of her own as she wiped the happy tears from her cheeks with her thumb.

“You’re back,” Ali whispered almost inaudibly as she let her body sink into Ashlyn’s.

“What was that?” asked Ash as she gently rubbed Ali’s back with one arm while the other held her securely.

“You’re back. My soldier finally came home.”

Ashlyn chuckled and wiped her own tears. “I did, didn’t I? I finally came home and am right where I belong.” She wrapped her arms all the tighter around Ali as if it was the only way to show her that she was never going to leave home ever again. And that was a promise she would never break.


End file.
